Twilight on the BLUE LAGOON
by knicnort3
Summary: Bella was one of the popular sophomores in her high school, but when a class trip goes awry she finds herself marooned on a tropical island with Edward Cullen, the resident school geek. The two must overcome their differences and learn to work together in order to survive. If you're a fan of 'Twilight' and 'Blue Lagoon', this is the story for you! *more info inside* AH, AU, E/B
1. The Trip

_**Twilight on the Blue Lagoon**_

*Edward and Bella will definitely find some _lemon_ trees on the island ;)

E/B, AH, AU, Rated M for sexual content and adult language.

_Banner on my profile!_

A/N: I have always loved "The Blue Lagoon" movies, so I was so excited to hear that a new one was coming out. The made for TV movie "The Blue Lagoon; Awakening" aired and left me a little….disappointed - Too little sex, only three months on the island, and no surprise baby (how do you have teenage unprotected sex for 3 months and no pregnancy?)

Needless to say, I spent the next few days thinking about how I would have made it differently. So I'm taking the parts I liked (characters being in high school), and changing it to fit my preferences. I really hope you'll come along for the ride!

Disclaimer: I do not own "Twilight" or "Blue Lagoon", but if you're a fan of both, then this is the story for you!

* * *

Chapter 1 – The Trip

"So what are you taking?" Jessica asked me as we were walking to the cafeteria.

"I'm assuming you're asking about what I'm taking _on the trip_?" I asked slightly annoyed. Jessica always seemed to begin conversations as if we were in the middle of them, and it could be quite frustrating at times.

"Duh, what do you think I'm talking about? The trip is this weekend; don't tell me you haven't packed yet?"

"Jessica, how long have you known me?"

"Exactly, so what are you bringing?"

"It's a class trip, it's not like I'm going to be sunbathing. I'm just bringing my assigned T shirt, pajamas and some shorts."

"Ugh, you are so boring. I can't believe such a wonderful opportunity to get close to Mike is being wasted on you. Why didn't I sign up for that stupid Marine Biology class?"

"Because you're afraid of fish," I told her evenly.

"Right…but I would have sucked it up if I knew I had a chance to go on a cruise."

"It's not a vacation cruise, its a week on a glorified fishing boat to study deep sea organisms, and believe me, I would change places with you if I could. I just really hope they don't make us dissect anything there. I'm going to be sick enough and I do not want to throw up in front of Mike."

"Oh, so you _are_ interested in Mike," Jessica teased.

I rolled my eyes. "I have a boyfriend Jessica, and no, I'm not interested in Mike. I just don't want to throw up in front of him. He's the captain of the football team so word will definitely get out."

"You can't tell me you're not at all attracted to him though. He's a senior, and everyone's been saying how he just took the class to get closer to you. He wants to fuck you, be grateful."

"Oh, ok, I'll just ask Jacob for a hall pass," I said sarcastically. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I screwed around behind his back."

"Oh, Jacob-Schmacob. He's just a sophomore, I'm sure he'd let it go after a while. We're in _high school_ Bella, no more childish puppy romances. You and Jacob were cute in eighth grade, but now it's time to move on to bigger and better things. I mean, you've been together for two years now and you still haven't had sex yet. What does that tell you?"

"That we respect each other."

"No, it means that he's either screwing someone else, or he's gay."

"Oh, whatever. We'll have sex when we're ready."

"But…if Mike were to proposition you while on the trip…."

I couldn't help but smile. Mike was the hottest guy in school, and I was definitely lying when I said I wasn't interested. Jacob was a good guy and my parents really liked him, but we had already been together for so long that he was starting to feel more like a brother than a boyfriend. Perhaps Jessica was right, maybe it was time to move on to bigger and better things.

"Oh, I knew it!" she squealed.

"Why are you so happy about the idea of me and Mike anyway? Don't you like him?"

"Yes, but he likes you and now I can live vicariously through you."

"Hurry, hide me!" Tanya said quickly as she ran toward us.

"What's going on?" I asked amused.

"That Eddie freak is looking for me," she said full of disgust.

"Why?" I asked with a giggle. "Did you forget to pay him for the homework he did for you?"

"No," she said sourly. "I have him in my poetry class and he wrote a poem for me. God, it was so embarrassing."

Jessica and I just stared at her in shock for a moment, and then we both busted out and started laughing. Edward Cullen had to be the biggest loser in the school. He was short and chubby with big geeky glasses and a retainer which made him speak with a lisp and spit when he talked. But the fact that he was in love with one of my best friends was the funniest thing I had ever heard. We were the most popular girls in the sophomore class, how could a freak like him ever think he stood a chance?

"Oh, I think you should be nice and kiss him behind the portables. It would make his year," Jessica choked out through her laughter.

"Make his year? That would be the highlight of his life!" I added.

"Eww, I don't even want to think about it," Tanya said, disturbed by the thought. "I'd rather kiss the pickled toads in bio."

"Oh look, here he comes now," Jessica said while we tried to control our laughter.

"Tanya, I just wanted to apologize for the poem; I didn't realize that it would be embarrassing," Edward mumbled quietly while looking down at the ground. "I should have given it to you in private….so here," he said and held out a piece of folded paper.

I tried to hold it in, I even bit the inside of my cheek to try to let the pain overcome it, but nothing worked and I broke out laughing again. Jessica laughed with me, but Tanya just looked revolted.

"Um…I can see that now's not the best time either," he said completely humiliated by our hysterics. His face turned a bright crimson and I almost felt bad for him – almost. But of course my pity wasn't enough to stop the rolling laughter, and finally Tanya saw the humor in it and laughed with us despite herself.

"Sorry," he mumbled and then turned and practically ran away.

"Wow, that was really mean," Angela came out of nowhere and said.

"What's it to you?" Tanya asked sharply. Angela was our friend freshman year, but she broke away from the group because she thought we were all bitches, which I guess we sort of were. I was never intentionally mean to anyone, but if something was funny, I was definitely going to laugh.

"I just think you guys should really think before you talk. Someday your bullying is going to come back to bite you in your asses," Angela said.

Bullying? Is that what we were doing? Bullying was pushing and sticking heads in toilets and such, a little laughter never hurt anyone… _at least that was what I told myself._

"Oh, we're so scared," Jessica said mockingly. "Come on guys, let's ditch the rest of the day and buy Bella a new bikini for her trip."

…

I spent the next few days thinking about my relationship with Jake. He really was a great guy and there wasn't a girl in school who wouldn't want to be with him, but Mike was just…_Mike_. He was a god on legs and the thought of being with him in that way actually made me flustered. I wanted him, and if he made a pass at me while on the ship, I'd definitely lose my virginity. Jessica was right, I needed to be prepared for it and buy myself some sexy underwear.

When Friday finally came, the Forks High Marine biology classes went by bus to the marina, where we boarded the ship and set sail for the horizon. Most of the kids in the elective class were geeks and school losers, but Mike and a couple others were hopefully going to save me from a dreadfully boring week at sea.

There were eight cabins for the students, each one was cramped and squished in four kids. Even in the cold northwest, it was stuffy and hot inside the tight space, so most of the kids spent their free time on deck and that's where I hung with Mike and the rest of the tolerable kids.

"This is so boring," Vicky said one evening. "I swear I fell asleep during the lecture today."

"You always fall asleep during lectures," James, her boyfriend said.

"Yeah well. The teachers here watch us like hawks. I tried to sneak into your cabin last night but they wouldn't give us a break."

"You can always give me a BJ now," he said carelessly.

"There's nowhere to be alone," Vicky argued.

"Ah, don't worry about me and Bella, we won't watch," Mike assured them with a grin. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and turned us so we were facing out over the edge of the boat at the moon reflecting on the water.

"Wow, it's so beautiful," I said after an uncomfortable minute of listening to James's moans behind us.

"Yeah, it's one of those dropping moons," Mike replied.

"Dropping moons? Don't you mean a crescent moon?" I asked with a flirtatious giggle.

"No, a dropping moon, you know where it's so pretty that it makes people drop their pants just by standing under it."

"Wow," I said after a moment.

"Yeah, that was kind of a bad one, huh?" he said with a laugh.

"Yes, definitely bad….Besides, if you wanted my panties down, you could have just come out and said so," I said boldly.

He looked at me shocked. "Really?"

I shrugged. "Maybe if we were alone," I said suggestively. I couldn't believe how forward I was being. I wasn't usually like that, especially when it came to hot guys, but I convinced myself that this was my moment. After the trip was over I needed to make a decision about Jacob and deal with the consequences; I needed to either recommit and move to the next step, or move on and break ties with him. It was a hard decision.

Mike leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips….and then there it was….motion sickness. I pulled away from him just in time to vomit over the side of the boat.

"Whoa, I didn't know you would be that disgusted by kissing me," Mike joked. "You're really going to have to go back to your cabin and wash your mouth out before we kiss anymore…and I definitely don't want my cock smelling like vomit so just come find me when you've cleaned yourself up."

I felt terrible – literally. My entire body was trembling from the sudden nausea, and all that jerk could do was think about his cock and make jokes? Fucking prick.

But because I still had a thing for him and didn't want to waste my chance, I decided to head back to my cabin to brush my teeth.

As I was trying to make my way back to the cabins however, my head started spinning and suddenly I felt like I was falling. The next thing I knew, I was waking up on a dingy with the bright sun beating down on my face, and the boat was nowhere in sight.

I had to be dreaming. It was just a terrible nightmare and I'd wake back up in the cabin… only it didn't feel like a dream.

"Don't sit up too fast, you might start throwing up again," an unfamiliar voice said. My vision was blurry, but I tried to focus my eyes and see who was there with me…. Yep, it was definitely a nightmare.

"Wha…what's going on, what happened?" I asked groggily.

"Mr. Molina and I were working on a ocean night project, so we were down here in the dingy, but he left to get something out of his cabin and that's when you fell out of the boat," Edward the Geek Cullen explained calmly.

"I fell out of the boat?" I said incredulously. "Well, how did I get on this dingy, and WHERE DID THE BOAT GO?" I shouted. "I thought a dingy was supposed to be tied to the boat, how did this dingy get untied?"

I was beyond pissed and beginning to panic.

"Well, I saw you fall in, so I untied the dingy to row over to you. You were unconscious," Edward explained hesitantly.

"Why didn't you jump out and bring me back to the boat, instead of _untying_ the dingy?"

He shrugged sheepishly. "I can't swim."

"Great. Just fucking amazing. We're on a tiny blowup raft in the middle of the Pacific Ocean somewhere, and you can't swim. Where's the paddle?"

"I dropped it in the water," he mumbled. I just glared at him so he explained. "I tried to get to you with the paddle but then it slipped out of my hands. I see now my mistakes and given the chance to do it over again I'm sure I would have been more successful."

"What? Who are you; what kind of person talks like that?" I asked frustrated. I didn't even realize Edward was even on the trip with us, _not that I would have cared_, and I definitely wasn't surprised. Guys like him lived for geeky things like Marine Biology and such. I just wished I was stranded with someone like Mike instead; someone who was strong and could actually swim – then again, he's probably spend that time trying to get me to give him a blow job instead of figuring out a way back to the boat.

"Sorry, I've never really had any friends my own age before, so I don't really know how to talk," he said while pushing his glasses up.

"Whatever. Just, tell me which way the boat went."

"That way," he said, pointing to his left. "Or maybe it was that way," he said, pointing in the opposite direction.

"How could you not know?"

"It was dark, and by the time morning came the boat was gone."

"Oh my god, I'm going to die," I whined to myself.

"The probability is forty-sixty right now, but with each hour that passes our chances of survival goes down," he said casually.

"No, someone will find us. I'm sure they know we're missing by now and they've already called in the coast guard. We just have to sit back and wait. A boat, or a helicopter; someone will come."

We waited…and waited….and waited some more.

The sun was so hot on my skin that I was sure I was turning into one big blister. Edward took off his sweatshirt and kept dipping it in the water to try to cool off; he offered to let me use it, but I was stubborn and refused. Everything about the guy disgusted me, and I wasn't about to wrap his nasty wet sweat shirt on my head.

When the sun set with no sign of help, I started to panic again. "What are we going to do? We can't stay on this thing forever. I'm hungry, my mouth is parched and…"

"Just calm down," he said softly. "If you get yourself worked up you'll just waste more energy."

"Calm down? We're in the middle -"

"Yeah, and we're never going to get home if you keep freaking out like that!" he shouted at me. I had hardly ever heard him speak louder than a mumble before, so his outburst was more than unexpected.

We didn't speak for the rest of the night; I just scooted down in the dingy and tried to sleep. The fact that the small raft made it impossible to stretch or lay anywhere that I wasn't touching Edward was disturbing, but after a few hours I just lost the energy to care.

By the second day on the boat without food or water, I was starting to get delirious. The sun and ocean was playing tricks on my mind and I could have sworn I saw land.

"Is that…" My throat was so dry that I couldn't speak much, but Edward followed my stare and saw what I was looking at.

"An island," he croaked. He didn't sound much better than how I was feeling, but seeing land gave us renewed hope.

We both put our arms in the water and tried to paddle the dingy closer to the island, but it wasn't working.

"Swim," I said as loud as I could.

"I can't," he replied in a panic.

"For heaven's sake," I said with a sudden bout of adrenalin coursing through my veins. I pulled the sole life-vest out from under the dingy bench, and threw it at him before jumping into the water. I wasn't sure if he jumped in after me or not, but I refused to stop swimming. Nothing was going to keep me from that island; I only hoped it had some fresh water and something edible…..

* * *

**A/N: Well, Edward is a geek and Bella is a bitch, obviously we have a long way to go with these two. Anyone interested? **


	2. Finding Water

Chapter 2 – Finding Water

The swim to the island was further than I anticipated, and by the time I made it on shore, I could hardly breathe. My body felt limp and my lungs ached as I panted for air, and then I passed out…again.

I woke up to something wet on my sandpaper dry lips, and I automatically grabbed onto whatever it was and drank it ravenously.

"Slow down, you're going to make yourself sick," I heard Edward's voice say, but I couldn't see him. My eyes hurt - well everything hurt, and the only relief came from the cool liquid streaming down my throat. When the liquid flow stopped, I looked around for more, but there wasn't any.

"It's gone, you drank it dry," Edward said.

"Where did you get…? What was that?" I asked, still having a hard time speaking.

"Liana," he said casually. "Or better known as 'water vine' to the less knowledgeable. They grow in tropical areas….and apparently on uninhabited pacific islands," he explained.

"Is there more?" I asked, not giving a crap as to what it was specifically. Only someone like Edward Cullen would care about scientific names during a time like that.

"Yeah, I'll go get some," he said before running off.

I had no idea how long he was gone for, but even with just that small amount of sustenance, I felt strong enough to sit up and look around. The white sandy beach I was on was beautiful, and if I was wearing a bikini and sitting under a beach umbrella with a fruity drink I would have been perfectly content, but as it was, it may have been hell on earth.

_Where the hell were we? _

I scanned the horizon before me, and there was just…nothing. I couldn't even see the dingy we had abandoned.

When Edward finally returned with another water-thingy, I drank it quickly and discarded the vine. "Please tell me you just pulled the dingy up on shore out of view someplace?"

"No…I'm not sure where that thing went. I was just happy to make it to land without drowning."

I rolled my eyes. I had never heard of a fifteen year old not being able to swim, it was utterly ridiculous and I couldn't imagine a worse person to be stranded with.

"So, what now?" I asked after a few minutes of indignant silence.

"Well, we need to find some real water, and maybe some fruit or something. Then we should try to make a shelter and start a fire for the night."

"Obviously…but how are we supposed to do any of that?" I didn't mean to be rude, but it had to be the worst few days of my life and I was scared to death of never going home. But then I thought about my dad; he was the Forks police chief, and when a girl went missing a couple years prior, he made a comment about how he would never stop looking if that were me. Help was coming, I had to believe that.

"I have this Swiss Army knife and it has a flint on it," Edward said unexpectedly while pulling the knife out of his pocket to show me.

"_You_ have a pocket knife?" I asked incredulously.

"It's a _Swiss Army_ knife, but yeah. Why do you look so shocked?" he asked.

"Because…pocket knives are for guys like Danny Zuko, not for guys who look like they would accidently cut their fingers off from such a thing."

"My dad gave it to me, ok," he said bitterly.

"Oh, I get it – Your dad wished he had a more…._athletic_ son," I said harshly. I meant it as a joke, but it came out sounding a little cruel.

"My dad died when I was six," he said quietly before getting up and walking inland.

_Crap._

I felt awful for my comment, but I couldn't bring myself to apologize. I just followed him quietly into the trees hoping to stumble upon a fresh water spring or stream. We walked for about twenty minutes but we were still weak from our time on the dingy, and I just couldn't go on anymore.

"Edward, I have to stop!" I called to him.

He didn't turn back to me; he just stopped walking and leaned against a tree to wait until I was ready to continue. But I wouldn't be ready to continue; I was starving and I needed to eat something if I was even going to attempt to go any further. "We need food," I told him.

"I saw some berries back there," he mumbled while walking past me back the way we came.

"If you saw berries then why didn't you stop to get them?" I asked frustrated. Edward really was an odd individual.

"I was trying to find water," he explained dryly. "We need water more than we need berries."

"Can we just get the berries so we'll have some energy to search for water?" I said through gritted teeth. For someone so smart, that was pretty stupid of him.

He didn't respond, he just led the way back to the berries… and they were absolutely beautiful.

"Hold on," he said before I had a chance to eat any.

"What?" I asked irritated.

"I'm trying to remember the guide for berries."

"What guide?" I asked confused. "Berries are fruit."

"Yeah, and like mushrooms and flowers, some are poisonous," he told me. He stood there and scratched his head while he thought about it. "_White and yellow kill a fellow, purple and blue good for you_," he said to himself.

"Where did you hear that?"

"Boy scouts, 101."

Why was I not surprised he was a boy scout; all nerds usually were. "So, what about red ones?" I asked, because that was the color of berries we had in front of us.

"Red can be poisonous or safe to eat."

"Great, so which are these?"

"Um….if they grow in bunches they're safe, but if they grow in singles they're poisonous."

"Great, these are singles," I said irritated.

"Wait, no I got that backwards. Bunches are poisonous and the singles are safe."

"Which is it?" I asked.

"I don't know, just let me think….The bunches are poisonous, I'm almost sure of it."

"Almost?"

"Eighty five percent sure."

"Well, those odds aren't good enough for me," I said feeling hopeless.

But then, without warning, he yanked a berry off the bush and popped it in his mouth.

"Oh my god, what are you doing?" I asked in a panic. I may have been annoyed with him, but I definitely didn't want him die leaving me stuck there alone.

He put up his finger to hush me while he chewed, and then he swallowed hard and waited.

"Well?" I asked anxiously.

He shrugged. "Sour, but not bad. They're safe, start eating them."

It was obvious by Edward's weight that he ate a lot, so I should have trusted his judgment when it came to food, but the truth was that I didn't. It may have been wrong, but I planned to wait a little longer to make sure he wasn't going to get sick before I started eating them.

"I think I'll just pick some and keep them for later," I told him.

"You don't trust me, do you?"

"I just don't want to get sick again," I said honestly.

"Fine, it's probably a good idea to take some with us anyway…just in case we don't find anything else to eat for awhile."

We each took a big leaf from the foliage and filled it with as many berries as we could, and then we continued to search for water. The terrain was hard to walk through and we were both beyond exhausted, but we persevered because we had no choice, we needed water.

"What are we going to do if we can't find any water?" I asked him as he was wrestling with another water vine.

"There has to be some water; all islands have streams full of rain water that run down from the highest point to the ocean….and if we can't find any then we'll just have to stick to these vines for now and hope it rains soon."

"Um, no, I don't hope it rains soon," I said sourly. "What I _hope_ is that a helicopter flies above us and we get rescued soon. It can rain when we're safely inside a hotel or something."

"The probability of getting rescued today is -"

"I don't care what the PROBABILITY IS!" I shouted at him, completely irritated by all his probability and scientific talk.

"Ok, fine, let's just not speak while we look," he mumbled.

But after another couple hours of searching passed and we still didn't find anything, I decided we had enough. "Edward, let's just go back to the beach. A ship could be passing and we would have no way of seeing it from here."

"Yeah, and it's going to be getting dark soon," he agreed, taking me aback. I didn't even notice the changing light, and regardless of what he had said, I still wasn't considering the prospect of spending the night on that dreadful island. But it seemed inevitable at that point, so I decided to look on the bright side - _at least we were off the dingy._

We looked around to head back, but suddenly we were completely lost. "It all looks the same, which way do we go?" I asked in a panic.

"This way," he said uncertain. We continued to walk, and just as the sun sank below the horizon, we found the beach…except it wasn't the same beach we started out on.

"What difference does it make?" he said, sensing my aggravation.

"It makes a difference because we washed up on _that_ beach, which means if people are looking for us, that's probably where they'd look!"

"Well, we can go back that way tomorrow. As of right now, we need to make a fire."

We didn't have time to build a shelter for the night, but it was warm enough so we just laid out under the stars and took turns keeping the fire going. I was desperate for food by then and since Edward had yet to get sick, I figured the berries were ok to eat. But that just made me even hungrier, so I fell asleep with my head in the sand to the sound of crashing waves and the constant rumbling of my stomach.

…

"Bella, wake up," Edward said while shaking me gently.

"What?" I asked groggily before opening my eyes. It was another new day and I felt weaker than ever. We really needed to find something better to eat than possibly poisonous berries.

"I was walking into the forest to pee, and I found it," he said excitedly.

"The dingy?" I said like a moron. He looked at me like the idiot I was, before shaking his head. "Water…fresh clean water. Come on!" He pulled me up and we moved faster than either of us had moved since first arriving there. I could hear it before I saw it…rushing water. We rounded a bend in the trees and there it was, a beautiful waterfall rushing into a crystal clear lagoon.

"How do you know it's clean?….Like, aren't there parasites in places like this?" I questioned.

He shrugged and pushed up his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "It's not stagnant. See, the water flows out that way. We can't be sure, but I'm willing to give it a try," he said before pulling off his shirt and wading in. Had we been at a public swimming hole back with normal people, I probably would have laughed to myself or whoever I was with about the way his boy-boobs rested on his gut in the most nauseating way, but as it was, I was far too hot and thirsty to care.

"Is it cold?" I asked.

"Yep," he replied. "And it feels really good!"

He only stayed near the edge of the lagoon in case it was deep, but I wanted to actually swim. So I kicked off my shoes and considered taking off my shirt to swim in my bra, but that was way more intimate than I ever planned on being with Edward Cullen, so I jumped in fully clothed.

And it felt amazing. The cold was a sharp contrast to the blistering heat of the midday, but it was a welcomed relief and allowed me to forget my hunger for a short time. The water was fresh and clean as far as I could tell, so as we swam we drank -_well, I swam, he just walked around on the shallow rocks_ - and it was as close to heaven on that godforsaken island as I was going to get.

"I think we should make camp close by," Edward said awhile later as we relaxed on the side with our feet still dangling in the water. "Ships can come from either side, so the beach here is as good as the other but it's much closer to the lagoon."

I nodded in agreement. "Ok." He was right, but the truth was that I just really didn't want to walk all the way back to the other beach anyway.

We had stayed at the lagoon all day, and as twilight fell over us, the changing light made the lagoon a brilliant blue color. As much as I hated everything about being stuck there, I took a moment to actually enjoy the beautiful sight of it.

"Ready to go back to the beach?" Edward asked as he put his shirt back on.

"Yeah, I guess we should build a fire for the night," I said reluctantly, not wanting to leave the serenity of the lagoon.

We raced the darkness and gathered branches and twigs for the fire, which caught easy enough with his flint, but then he did one of the most disgusting things I had ever witnessed.

"What are you doing?" I screeched.

"We need the protein," he explained as he pushed what looked like a rather large worm on a stick to roast on the fire. "I just ate one raw but I figured you'd want yours cooked?"

"Uh, no. I am not eating that. I'll just stick to berries."

"You can't live on berries, especially after swimming most of the day. You need protein."

I shook my head. "You eat it if you're so hungry. Unlike _you_, I don't need to eat so much. Berries are fine."

"Was that a fat joke?" he asked offended.

"It wasn't a joke."

"You know what's so funny? People like you actually think that people like me don't know that we're heavy. Do you really think that I'm unaware how disgusted people are by me? But thank you for reminding me yet again. As if we didn't have enough to deal with here."

Edward got up and walked back into the trees, leaving me alone by the fire….and I felt like shit. I didn't mean to insult him again, but I guess I didn't try to not insult him either. Our classmates had been calling him fat for as long as I could remember, and I never cared enough to think about how it bothered him. I always figured if he really minded being called names then he'd do something about it and lose the weight. But after seeing the look on his face just then, I realized no one should have to feel that so I decided to talk to him about it and apologize when he returned….except he didn't come back.

I spent the rest of the night alone. I curled up into a ball as small as I could and hid under a tree scared to death of anything and everything that made a noise in the darkness of night. I hadn't been on the island long enough to know what kind of animals or creatures resided there, and with my luck a leopard or something would choose my helpless solitude as its moment to strike.

"Stupid fucking Cullen," I mumbled to myself as I tried to get comfortable in my huddled state. "I bet you knew a leopard would attack a plumper-meatier person like you over someone skinny like me, and that's why you left. Everyone out for themselves, huh? I get it…" Even I knew I was being irrational, but I couldn't snap out of it. I was scared and cold, and the fact that he just ditched me was really freaking me out, but when he didn't come back the next morning either, I really started to panic.

"EDWARD!" I called into the forest. But there was no response. "Great, he fell and broke his neck or some wild animal ate him. Now I'm stuck here all alone, and I can't even remember the rhyme for safe berries."

It was safe to say I was feeling just a tad bit sorry for myself.

But the worst part was that he took his pocket knife with him and left me with no way to start a fire. I was seriously screwed, and on top of everything else, he was right, I was starving and the berries were definitely not cutting it anymore.

"What's the point really? I might as well just sit back and die." I said to myself. "I can't believe I'm going to die as a pathetic virgin." And then I started bawling. I just let it all out and cried like I hadn't in years. It actually felt good to cry, and I wondered if I'd ever stop.

"Are you hurt?" Edward's voice said from behind me.

My head shot up and I looked at him. From my line of sight, the bright sun was directly behind his head making his face shadowed in a way that he didn't look real, but I knew instantly that I wasn't just imagining him."You're alive!" I shouted, and then I stood and threw myself at him.

"Whoa…uh," he said uncomfortably as I hugged him.

I pulled back. "That was weird, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, just a little," he said as he pulled off his glasses to clean them with his shirt before putting them back on.

"Oh, whatever. Where the hell have you been?" I asked with a mix of anger and relief. My desire to apologize to him before had melted away sometime during the night, and left me expecting him to apologize instead. What kind of jerk just walks away from the only other person marooned on an island?

"I walked back to the other beach and wrote out a big SOS on the sand with rocks. It took longer than I anticipated to get there so I ended up just camping there for the night… I brought more berries," he said with a goofy apologetic grin, as if the berries would make up for him abandoning me.

"Don't ever just leave like that again! I was going out of my mind here. There were noises in the dark, and I think a leopard was stalking me, and -"

"There aren't any leopards here," he said with a laugh.

"There aren't?"

"Not in this region of the world," he said factually.

"Jaguars?"

"Closer. We were traveling south on the boat, but I doubt we went south enough for jaguars. Besides, I'm ninety eight percent sure there are no big mammals on this island."

"Why do you think that?"

"I haven't seen any droppings."

_Ugh, why was he so gross? _"So, we're safe from being eaten," I said, trying be positive.

"I wouldn't say that," he replied casually. "Anacondas are pretty common on islands like this."

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly to try to eradicate the thought of man eating snakes out of my brain. "Can we just make a pact to stick together for our remaining time on this island? I was really worried when you didn't come back."

"You were worried about me, or worried about yourself being alone?" he asked evenly.

"Both."

"Sure," he said sarcastically as he walked past me to restart the fire.

"Look, we're not exactly friends here, but I still don't want you to die," I said honestly.

He stood and turned to face me. "Well, I'm definitely not the one you should be worrying about anyway, I'm actually getting protein. You, on the other hand, are at risk for starvation."

I bit my lower lip anxiously. "You're really eating worms?"

"They're not so bad."

I whined before holding out my hand towards him. "Ok, give me one."

"I can cook it," he offered while gesturing towards our makeshift fire pit.

"Just give it to me before I freak myself out of it," I said in a rush.

I refused to look at it because I knew I'd never be able to go through with eating the thing if I saw it crawling around. But nothing could stop me from feeling it as he placed the cool, slimy insect in my hand.

"Don't think about it, just pop it in your mouth and chew," he encouraged.

I whined again and seriously thought about throwing the thing, but then I did as he instructed. I chewed quickly and tried to swallow it down without tasting, but I just couldn't get my mind out of it. "If you tell anyone about this, I'll kill you," I warned him as I fought the gagging reflex that was trying to overcome me.

"Right, and who would I tell? There's an iguana back there, maybe he'd be interested in your worm consumption."

"You know what I mean…when we get back to the land of the living, you better not tell anyone about this. I still have a reputation to uphold."

"Do you really think people would judge you because you ate worms to survive?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes, all of my friends would freak, and there isn't a guy who'd want to kiss me knowing what I just did."

"Wow, great group of people you surround yourself with."

I glared at him spitefully for his comment, and felt my temper boil. This obnoxious chubby loner before me, whose hair was sticking out in all directions and his glasses where falling down his face, had the nerve to judge _my_ friends?

"At least I have friends, and I definitely don't go around writing ridiculous love poems to people who are way out of my league!" I spat.

He nodded slowly, but had a defeated expression on his face as if I just kicked him when he was down. "You know, there's a reason why we're not friends, so let's just keep our conversation to survival purposes only," he said bluntly.

"That's probably for the best," I agreed. We only needed to survive together, being friendly was definitely unnecessary. Soon enough we'd be back in civilization and return to our normal lives; we'd never have to associate with each other again and could just forget we were ever stuck in that horrendous position of relying on each other for survival.

"Are there any more worms?" I asked reluctantly. The first worm I ate was disgusting, and yet, because I was starving, it was one of the best things I had ever eaten and I really wanted more.

He sighed. "Yeah, there's a ton. I just need to turn over some more rocks."

After eating a few more, we made our way back to the beach where we began collecting branches and such to try to make some kind of shelter, but of course, because of Edward's odd nature, he suddenly lost focus and began cutting wood instead of just collecting it.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Do you want to keep eating worms for the rest of our time here?"

"You have a better idea?"

"I'm sure that reef out there has all kinds of fish, so I'm making a spear," he said unexpectedly.

I wanted to laugh at the ridiculous notion of a guy like him attempting to make a weapon, but I bit my tongue. If he wanted to waste his time whittling wood, that was his problem; I, on the other hand, was going to make a shelter, so I just shook my head and tried to ignore him.

* * *

*****WARNING: I am in no way an expert on berries. Please don't take any of this chapter as fact because that's simply not the case. If you have questions on poisonous plants/berries, please ask an expert!**


	3. Breaking the Ice

Chapter 3 – Breaking the Ice

I needed a way to bind the branches together for our shelter, so I found some dead vines in the foliage of the forest, and luckily they came apart easily so I was able to shred them into thin strips. I started wrapping the strips around the branches, when – "Ouch!" I screeched as a large splinter jammed into my finger.

"What happened?" Edward asked.

"Nothing, I'm fine," I said quickly, not wanting to admit that I was failing miserably at making the shelter.

"And people say I'm weird," Edward mumbled under his breath while continuing to cut the wood he was holding.

The splinter hurt like hell and my hands were throbbing after all the shredding I was doing, so I got frustrated and gave up. If I had months with nothing else to do but bind branches together, I was sure I'd eventually get around to finishing it, but for the time being it was just too painful and time consuming, and I fully expected to get rescued sooner rather than later. It didn't really matter anyway; it was warm enough to just sleep out under the stars like we had been doing, so I figured it wasn't important. Instead, I found myself just curiously watching Edward concentrate so intensely on the wood he was whittling. I didn't think I had ever worked so hard for anything in my life, and his determination was absolutely fascinating to me.

_Where was his newfound drive coming from? _Perhaps he just really wanted more to eat than berries and worms. The image of a little chubby bunny on a wheel with a carrot dangling in front of it sprouted to my mind, but I quickly shook it away. I really needed to try harder to not be so mean.

When he was finally confident it was sharp enough, he waded out to the reef in order to test it out.

But of course, the stick broke.

However, Edward didn't seem too upset by his lack of success like I had been; he just grabbed another stick and started whittling again. Six failed attempts later he was able to make one strong enough to actually stab a fish, but learning to be successful at it was a different story.

"You missed!" I shouted.

He looked back and glared at me for stating the obvious. "I'm just trying to figure it out," he said as he walked further out on the reef.

"Oh, get that one," I said, but he just ignored me.

When he missed again, he actually showed some real normal emotions and yelled out in frustration before throwing the spear towards the beach.

"Well, that's not very helpful," I said casually. "I guess its worms for dinner again."

"Can you just shut up for five minutes!" he said irritated. "At least I'm doing something. I don't see you still trying to make the shelter."

"Fine, sorry," I said, and went to go sit on the rocks. I supposed he was right; I gave up a lot sooner than he did so I had no room to talk.

Edward waded through the shin deep water back to the sand, and then grabbed his spear before walking back to where he was. After another hour without any luck, he got mad and gave up as well.

"I thought you said you wouldn't stop until you caught one," I teased him as he pouted on the sand.

"There just isn't very many fish there," he said defensively. "Maybe instead of making fun of me, you could try to help."

"How? There's only one potentially viable spear."

"I don't know….go do the girl thing a weave a bunch of palm leaves together to make a net, or something."

"Weave? Sorry, I must have missed that part of Home Ec." I said with a laugh.

He huffed, and then a thought seemed to cross his mind.

"What?" I asked.

"There's another reef further out, but we'd have to swim to it."

"Oh no, don't look at me like that. Just because I can swim, doesn't mean I'm going out there. There are probably sharks; besides, I don't know how you use that spear thingy anyway. You're the fish expert, not me."

"What makes me a fish expert?"

"You were into the whole Marine Biology stuff. I was only there because the counselor said it would look good on my college applications."

"Whatever….Fine, I'll go."

"How can _you_ go? You can't swim," I reminded him.

He didn't answer; he just walked past me and into the trees. I didn't bother asking him where he was going because it seemed as though whenever he was upset, he went into the solitude of the trees to escape my presence. He promised he wouldn't ditch me again over night, so I was confident he'd be back.

Usually during his alone time he'd be gone for an hour or two, so I was surprised when he reemerged after just a couple minutes, and even more surprised that he wasn't empty handed.

"Where have you been keeping that?" I asked surprised as he snapped on the life vest.

"I got it when I went back to the other side of the island. I didn't think I'd need it again, but I kept it under the brush back there just in case."

"And you're planning to use it to swim out to that other reef?"

"Yep."

"And how are you going to bring back the fish if you catch any? If there's not a shark swimming around now, then there will be one once you spear a fish."

"I'll figure it out as I go," he said spitefully.

When he got to deeper water, he flailed around for a minute before finally catching his balance and dog paddling out to the reef. Thankfully we didn't see any sharks, but I still wasn't willing to follow him out there.

"There's a lot more fish out here!" he yelled to me as he struggled to pull himself up onto the second reef.

"Well, get one!" I shouted back.

Even from that far, I could see the 'duh' expression on his face, but I just ignored it. Edward stood there and watched the fish for several minutes, and then he jabbed the spear.

"I got one!" he shouted.

"Are you serious?" I asked in disbelief.

He held up the spear, and sure enough, there was a wiggling fish on the end of it. Without warning, he pulled the fish off the end and chucked it at me.

I screamed and ran out of the projected path of the flying fish. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Why didn't you catch it?"

"I didn't know you were throwing it, try warning me next time!"

"Well, pick it up before you lose it!"

I looked down at my feet and saw the dead fish turning in the waves, so without thinking, I reached down and grabbed it. "It's all slimy," I complained.

"Don't drop it!"

"I'm not!" I snapped. The thing was disgusting, and if I wasn't so hungry there was no way I'd stand there and hold it, but I supposed nothing was as bad as eating worms. "What are you doing now? Come back so we can cook it," I said eagerly.

"No, I'm going to get a few more."

"Let's just eat this one first. It'll give you some energy."

"Just be quiet and let me spear some freaking fish!" he said assertively. I definitely wasn't use to hearing him use that tone and it took me by surprise, but I did as he said and kept quiet while he fished. But I wasn't the type of person to easily keep my mouth shut when something was on my mind, so I decided to leave him to it and tend to the fish we already had. I took it back to the cover of the trees and found some more large leaves to place it on, and then brought it back to the beach.

"I have another one!" he shouted at me, and then of course, he tossed it, but I surprised both of us and caught it. "Nice," he said enthusiastically.

"That's one each; come back now," I told him.

"Not yet," he replied quickly.

He looked absolutely ridiculous standing out there with a bright orange life vest and large pointy stick…but he didn't seem to care. He was stranded on an island with a girl who was sure to make fun of him and had in the past, but none of that mattered to him. He was focused on getting fish and surviving the day, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't inspiring. He was right, none of that crap mattered and there was no reason to be embarrassed on that island – there wasn't room for it, and we sure as hell didn't have the extra energy to waste on something as superficial as looking good and acting cool.

I decided then that it was time to pull my head out of my ass and do my fair share of contributing to our survival… so I gave myself the nauseating task of cleaning the fish he already caught. It was the last thing I really wanted to do, but it wasn't right that he was doing all the work while I just sat there and watched.

I took out his knife, and winced as I cut the head off the first fish. "Ewww!" I wanted to vomit. "Pull it together, Swan," I told myself with a deep breath, turning my face so I didn't have to smell the stench of the bloody fish. But then something clicked in my mind and I willed myself to just get through it. Once I was determined to get it done, it was much easier and I realized it wasn't even as gross as I was expecting. Next I cut open the abdomen, and rinsed it out in the waves before bringing it back to the fire.

When I got both fish cleaned, skewered, and set over the fire, Edward returned completely soaked.

"You cleaned the fish?" he asked surprised as he unsnapped his life vest. "How'd you know how to do that?"

I shrugged. "My dad is an avid fisherman and used to make me go with him. I always refused to clean them before, but I watched enough times to know what to do," I explained.

"Cool," he said. When he opened his vest to take it off, two more fish fell out.

"Wow, you did well," I said impressed.

"It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be," he said with a smirk.

I cleaned the other two fish, and then roasted those as well. When they were finished, we sat there and ate them feeling like it was Thanksgiving. The two medium to small sized fish we each had wasn't much by normal standards, but we were beyond stuffed and spent the rest of the evening _throwing up_.

"Ugh, were they poisonous?" I asked weakly.

"No, I think we just ate too much after not eating anything for a few days," he explained.

I had already vomited in front of Edward once before, but doing it at the same time as him, side by side, was absolutely disgusting and yet strangely cathartic. He didn't comment on it, and neither did I. We just did what we needed to do and waited for the other to finish as well. When we were both done emptying the contents of our stomachs onto the sand, we helped each other up and walked slowly back to where we had slept the night before. We laid down wishing for the horrible feeling to just pass as soon as possible, and we drifted off to sleep for the night.

…

The next day came way too soon, and before I was even fully awake, Edward was back in his life vest and back on the reef. I followed his lead and got ready for the morning as well by rebuilding the fire and finding new sticks to roast the fish with. He wasn't gone long before returning successfully with our breakfast, except this time, we were more reserved with our consumption.

"Fish has never tasted so good," I said when we were done.

"Well, we'll be eating more for lunch…and dinner…and breakfast the next morning. We're pretty much going to be eating fish until we're found," he replied.

I smiled; anything was better than worms. "When we get sick of eating fish, we can always imagine it's something else."

"Like the Neverfood?" he said with a laugh, and I surprised both of us when I knew what he was talking about.

"No, the Neverfood was completely imaginary; at least we have it better than them."

"Wait, you've seen 'Hook'?" he asked.

"I loved that movie growing up," I told him.

"Me too," he said with a grin.

"I think most kids did - at least I know all my friends did," I added quickly, though I wasn't exactly sure why I felt the need to say that. "So, what would be your Neverfood?" I asked after a minute.

"Pizza," he said quietly. "I swear I could almost taste it right now. How about you?"

"Doughnuts…no, chili cheese fries," I said, having a hard time deciding which I wanted more at the moment.

"You like that stuff?" he asked surprised.

"My dad's the police chief and a huge sports fan, of course I like doughnuts and chili cheese fries," I said with a laugh. "Why do you look so surprised?"

He shrugged. "I just thought girls like you only ate salads and tofu."

"I'm more of a ballpark food kind of girl," I admitted.

"So, you really eat those things…like more than just Neverfood wise? If we were back home right now, you would actually eat chili cheese fries?" he asked skeptically.

"I had some the day before we left on the boat."

He looked absolutely bewildered. "How do stay…looking like that?" he asked, gesturing to my body.

"I just have a fast metabolism," I told him.

"That's so unfair," he mumbled.

"Well, I'm active too. Cheerleading isn't just pompoms and flirting with the football players," I told him. "Maybe if you exercised more you wouldn't have so much trouble with your weight."

I was in no way trying to be mean, and I chose my words carefully so they wouldn't be offensive; thankfully he understood my innocent intentions.

"My mom is….a little over protective, and she doesn't like me doing sports and such," he explained.

"Why?" I asked.

"I think it's about my dad….the way he died. She just doesn't want to lose me the way she did him…." He let his sentence trail off as he realized that was exactly what happened. His poor mother was probably out of her mind with worry for him at the moment, especially considering her history with his father.

"How did he die?" I asked hesitantly.

"He drowned," he said, taking me aback.

"Are you serious?" I asked feeling worse than I ever had before. If his father drowned, it made sense that his mother wouldn't want him in water to learn to swim.

"He liked to surf…he was one of those physical-sporty types. He hit a rough wave that knocked him out and dragged him under. His friends rushed out to try to save him, but they couldn't find him. His body washed on shore sometime later. I don't remember him much, but I do know that it changed my mom. She never wanted me in the water or to do much physically."

"I'm sorry, I had no idea," I said regretfully.

"Why are you sorry? You didn't make him drown."

"No, but I thought your lack of swimming was just…."

"Pathetic," he finished for me. "Yeah, I know."

"So, why didn't you learn on your own? I mean, you're fifteen; you could have learned at school or something."

"I've always been busy with other things."

"Like Chess Club and Marine Biology?" I assumed.

He shrugged. "I never really knew how to make friends, so those were things that I could do alone."

"But you don't enjoy them?" I asked.

"There have been times when I wished I was into more…normal things. I think having socially acceptable pastimes would make it easier for certain people to like me."

"Certain people like Tanya," I guessed.

But then he got uncomfortable. "I thought we agreed to not speak unless it's about survival," he said defensively.

"You know, unrequited love is pretty normal in high school," I assured him, trying to make him a little less embarrassed about it. "Twenty years from now you won't even remember her name."

"Yeah, and what would you know about it? There isn't a guy in school who would turn you down."

"Well…I don't know about it _personally_….but a lot of my friends have had that problem."

He shook his head. "Can we just stick to life and death topics please," he reiterated.

"Fine," I said. "But…maybe since we're here for however long we might be here for, I can work with you on swimming."

"Really?" he asked surprised by my offer.

"Yeah, I used to be an instructor at the swim school….I mean, I never taught anyone over the age of ten, but I guess I can make an exception."

"Gee thanks," he said sarcastically.

"Oh, come on, I'm not trying to be mean."

"No, you're just teasing me."

"Well, if we can't joke around with each other, who are we going to joke with?"

He rolled his eyes. "When do you want to start?" he asked unenthusiastically.

"I'm still hoping to be rescued soon, so we'll start tomorrow and see how far we can get. If you can't swim by the time we leave here, then I'll continue lessons at home. We don't have to tell anyone."

He shook his head. "If I haven't learned by the time we leave here than I never will. We don't have to have secret meetings back home."

"I didn't mean it like that," I told him honestly; he obviously misunderstood me. "I just meant _secret_ because your mom doesn't want you to take lessons, not that I would be embarrassed to be seen with you."

"It doesn't really matter to me either way… And you don't have to automatically pretend to be my friend when we get back either; just because we were stuck here together for however long we end up being stuck here for, doesn't mean we're bonded for life."

I didn't respond. It may sound mean and shallow, but the truth was that I didn't want to be his friend, not really anyway. I wanted to just wake up in my bedroom back home and realize it was all just a horrible dream. I wanted to go back to my life and pick up right where I left off… but I wasn't dreaming, and I was secretly starting to lose confidence that we would get rescued at all.

_Daddy, where are you?_


	4. Hard Humor

Chapter 4 – Hard Humor

"If you're going to learn how to swim, you'll need to take off the life vest," I said to him the next day.

"I thought we could just practice the basic moves first. Once I get the hang of them I'll take it off," he replied nervously.

"It's a small lagoon," I argued. "If I was teaching you in the ocean I could understand the need for the life vest."

"Fine," he said nervously, and then took off the vest.

"Are you going to swim with your shirt on?" I asked him.

"Are you?" he retorted. Edward hadn't taken off his shirt in my presence since I made that comment about his weight; I felt bad, but he wouldn't listen to my apologies either.

"Women don't usually swim topless," I told him.

"I didn't say topless, but you have a bra, right?"

"I'm not going to show you my bra," I snapped.

"A bra covers the same as a bikini, so what's the difference. Besides, I'm sure you've had a lot more guys see you naked than I've had girls. It should be nothing new for you."

"Are you calling me a slut?" I asked offended.

"No more than you called me fat."

"You know what, teach yourself how to swim!" I said angrily, and then stormed off towards the beach.

I sat on the sand dunes and just watched the horizon, praying for a ship to pass. I couldn't stay on that island with Edward the Freak Cullen - _what the hell did I ever do to deserve that? - _Ok, I haven't always been nice to people, but I never broke any laws and there were a hell of a lot meaner people at Forks High who deserved a fate worse than mine.

An hour or so later I realized that Edward didn't follow me out, so I got concerned that he ditched me again. I couldn't stand the guy, but I couldn't stand the idea of being alone more, so I hurried back to the lagoon but then stopped dead in my tracks when I saw him. He was actually trying to teach himself how to swim.

He was in the water up to his neck in the deepest part of the lagoon, and he kept letting go of the rocky edge then he'd flail about to try to stay above water, before grabbing a hold of the rock again.

"You're moving around too quickly," I said to him.

"What?" he asked confused.

"When you tread water, don't move around so fast. It takes up too much energy and you'll just end up sinking."

"What am I supposed to do then?"

"Here, I'll show you," I said, and without allowing myself to over think it, I pulled my shirt over my head and jumped into the water. When I came back up, Edward had a stunned expression on his face. "It's easier to do without a heavy wet shirt on," I explained. "Take yours off too."

"I'm fine," he said quickly.

"Oh come on, I've already seen you without your shirt. It'll be easier to learn how to do this if you take it off."

"Fine," he said, but taking off his shirt without letting go of the rock was rather difficult, so I tried to help him. "Ok, I got it!" he snapped at me. He obviously didn't want me touching him, so I backed off and let him do it himself.

After flailing around, he finally wrestled it off and then turned and waited for my instructions. If he didn't remove his shirt I probably wouldn't have noticed, but he was definitely losing weight – He was still chubby, but just in the few days that passed since I last saw him shirtless, he was visibly thinner. Of course, I had no idea why I was surprised; exercise and an all fish diet would make anyone lose weight.

"Ok, now you want to make calm, smooth motions. Move your arms back and forth horizontally and rotate your legs in a circular motion," I instructed.

He nervously let go of the rock and moved the way I had told him to, but he still did it too quickly.

"Slow it down. Relaxed, even circles," I told him, and as I said the words, I demonstrated exactly what I was talking about so there would be no confusion.

He emulated my movements, and surprising to him, he stayed above water. "Hey, I'm doing it!" he said excitedly.

"And that's the first step of swimming."

"Really?" he asked enthusiastically.

"Well, usually I make the little kids learn to blow bubbles then float on their backs first, but for you this is definitely a good starting point."

"Cool," he said before grabbing the wall.

"Hey, no holding on! You can tread water now, so start treading," I chided him encouragingly.

"Well, I know I'm probably one of the fittest people you've ever taught, but I still need to take a breather," he said lightly.

"Did you just make a joke?" I asked with a grin. It didn't sound like a snide comment, so I took a chance and asked him if he was joking.

"See, only fat people can make fun of fat people," he said with a smirk.

"And only sluts can make fun of sluts," I joked back. He just stared at me, so I sighed. "I started it anyway by calling you fat."

"You didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"No, I shouldn't have said anything at all. Sometimes I talk before I think and I'm really sorry," I said sincerely.

"Yeah, well, we're both stuck here and we're two entirely different people so we're bound to clash… I just need to not be so sensitive about it," he said.

"And I need to try harder to be nice," I added.

He nodded. "I'm sorry too; I didn't mean to call you a slut. I've never been the type of person to say cruel things to other people."

"Ok, well, now that apologies are out of the way, let's get you to swim."

When the lessons were done for the day, we got out and both put on our shirts as quickly as possible. My bra was white, and I wasn't sure if the water had made it translucent or not and I sure as hell didn't want him seeing my breasts.

We dried off by the fire with freshly caught fish roasting on the flames, and we spent the evening telling ridiculously cheesy, grade school level scary stories.

"So the ghostly voice kept saying '_bloody finger, bloody finger'_ until it was right on the campers, and then…"

"What?" I asked impatiently. The stupid story was actually freaking me out a bit, and I just wanted it to be over.

"The ghoul opened the tent and all the kids screamed, but he just waited for them to stop and then asked _'what, I just wanted a band aid'_," Edward said with a childish chuckle.

"That is the stupidest thing I ever heard!" I said while throwing a fish head at him.

"That was gross," he complained.

"Well, you deserved it after your stupid story."

Suddenly we were both laughing, but our light mood was quickly dampened…literally.

"Oh no!" I screamed as the rain pelted my face. Neither of us even saw the rain clouds forming above, but the wind picked up and we were definitely in trouble. "Is this a typhoon?" I asked before we ran for cover under the trees.

"I think it's just rain!" he yelled over the sound of the wind.

We should have known it would rain eventually; putting off building our shelter was a bad idea and I took the blame entirely onto myself. But it wasn't just wet, it was cold so we huddled together at the base of a tree and just waited out the storm. If I thought I was miserable before that night, boy was I wrong.

…

After the worst night of our lives, we set out with a new determination. It didn't matter if we were going to be on that island another day or a decade; we needed to build a shelter.

Working together to strip the vines for the bindings made it go a lot faster, but there still weren't enough hours in the day to make a complete sturdy structure, so we opted for only making one wall. We got lucky and found a vacant shallow cave in the rocks by the blue lagoon, and used our makeshift wall to close it off. I only wished we found the cave the night before during the storm. It was probably one of the busiest days I ever had. Not only did it take hours to make the wall, but we also had to fish and build a fire which took a lot of time as well. By the time the sun set, we were both exhausted…but of course, I couldn't sleep.

"Lay down," Edward told me after my antsy jittering woke him up for the third time.

"I can't, it's all hard and rocky."

"The less you move, the easier it will be to fall asleep."

"I can't. There's a sharp rock where my head is supposed to go…and I keep feeling things crawling on me," I complained while brushing off whatever was crawling up my arm.

Finally he had enough of my whining and he once again, left me. Thankfully, he returned right away and had his life vest.

"You're not going swimming right now, are you?" I asked confused.

"No, it's for you," he said while handing it to me.

"Uh…"

"To lay on," he said full of irritation.

"Oh…thanks," I said before gratefully putting it under my head.

"We'll figure out a way to make the ground more cushiony tomorrow," he said. "Now, go to sleep."

"What about you?"

"I'm fine," he said evenly.

"No way, come over here and lay with me," I insisted.

"I'm not lying with you," he said sternly.

"Why? We're just sleeping."

"I thought you were repulsed by me?" he said bitterly.

"Why do you think that?" I asked guiltily.

"Oh, come on; I know how you and your friends talk about me."

"I thought we weren't going to think about all of that while were here," I reminded him. "Besides, I'm sure I'm just as disgusting right now. The lagoon water isn't exactly _soapy_, if you know what I mean. Come and rest you head on the other side of this life vest."

"No."

"Fine, then I won't either," I said stubbornly and pushed the vest away.

It was almost pitch black in the cave, but the faint glow from the fire we had built right outside was enough to allow us to barely see one another. He could tell by my expression that I wasn't going to give in, so he huffed and spread out the life vest as far as it would go before laying on the half closest to him. I smiled smugly and then laid down on the other half, and willed myself to sleep….

I was in a warm tranquil spa with a virgin daiquiri in one hand, and a chocolate covered strawberry in the other. I just laid down on the massage table while the masseuse began rubbing me down with hot rocks, but then something poked me in the back and I became seriously uncomfortable.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I tried to push away whatever it was that was poking me. When it wouldn't move I suddenly realized I was dreaming, so I forced my eyes open and remembered where I was. Morning was just peeking through the slats of our handmade wall, but even though I was fully awake, the thing jabbing me was still there.

"What the…?"

I was lying on my side, and Edward was pressed tightly into my back with his heavy arm draping over me, and his groin was….

"Oh my god!" I jumped, which startled him awake.

"What?" he asked dazed as he tried to focus from the abrupt way he was woken up.

"You…your…" it was too embarrassing to even say out loud, but he quickly caught on to the issue.

"Oh shit!" he said horrified. He practically jumped out of the cave and ran off into the trees.

I couldn't believe what had just happened. It wasn't like I hadn't encountered an erection before; Jake and I dealt with it quite often, but still, the thought of_ Edward Cullen's_ erection pressed against my back- _albeit a surprisingly impressive size for such a short guy_ - was definitely a surreal and disturbing moment. Had he been dreaming about me? The thought was more than a little unsettling so I decided to believe he was dreaming about Tanya, or perhaps it was just normal – everyday – morning wood. It was natural for guys, right?

I guess the worst part of the whole thing was the fact that I had never really thought of Edward as a 'guy'. Yes, he was a boy, and possibly even a few months older than me, but I had always seen him as some asexual being that just hung around in the background. It was a pretty shallow thought.

But the one thing I did know for sure was that the next few hours were going to be uncomfortable….

I climbed out of the cave slowly, unsure if Edward was around or not, and when I didn't see him I walked over to the lagoon for a morning swim. The water always felt so refreshing in the morning and was my favorite part of the day on the island, but I couldn't enjoy it the way I usually did.

After I was done swimming, I put my shirt on and headed out to the beach. I had decided swimming in my bra was acceptable and I intended to swim that way from then on, but Edward's morning surprise made me think twice about it. Was that why he was aroused?

_Edward aroused?_ – The thought made me shutter.

When I made it out of the forest to the sandy dunes of the beach, I saw Edward back on the reef, and back in his life vest.

"Weren't ready to swim without the vest yet?" I called to him, but of course he didn't respond. I already knew he wasn't ready because we only had one lesson; I was just trying to think of something to say to break the ice. "Caught any fish?"

"Yep," he replied, and without really looking at me, he tossed the fish.

Catching the flying fish was reflexive at that point, so I immediately brought it over to our fire-pit to begin cleaning it. Edward came up behind me just as the first fish was done cooking, and handed me the rest of his catch.

"Here, you eat this one," I said while handing him the cooked fish.

"I'll wait until the other one is done; you cooked it, you should have the first," he argued.

"Then this one will get cold….just eat it," I insisted.

"Fine….thanks," he said hesitantly before taking it from me and walking over to the rocks to eat.

"You don't have to go so far away, you know," I called to him.

"I'm just sitting," he said defensively.

"Yeah, well usually we sit together to eat."

"Would it make you feel better if I came to sit with you?" he said condescendingly.

"Yes," I said, refusing to let his uncharacteristically sour mood get to me.

He grudgingly kicked the sand as he walked back to me, and then sat without another word and still refused to look up at me.

"You really don't have to be embarrassed," I said uncomfortably.

"Can we just _not_ talk about it!" he shouted.

"Ok," I said quietly.

"Just forget it ever happened," he added.

"Done," I agreed, though forgetting it was next to impossible. We sat in awkward silence for the rest of breakfast, but then I decided it was time to get over it. "Ready for more swimming lessons?"

He shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Because I just don't want to."

"Oh, come on Edward; don't let something as….normal as _morning wood_ stop you from learning to swim. It's fine, really. I don't care, and neither should you."

He thought about it for a few minutes, and then he sighed. "What are you going to teach me today?"

"Um….maybe we'll start working on the breath stroke. Once you can do that then you can swim."

"Ok," he said, letting go some of his tension, but I could still feel it radiating off him. "Whenever you're finished eating."

It wasn't that I was ever comfortable with him, but I worried that he'd never relax again after that, and I was slightly concerned how bed time was going to be that night, so I threw caution to the wind and decided to just say what was on my mind.

"So….did you whack off?"

"What?" he asked, stunned by my question.

"I'm only asking because I don't want to be trekking through the forest and run into something sticky and wonder about it."

"Oh, you are sick," he said perturbed.

"No, I'm serious. God, what's the big deal anyway? So, you masturbate, who doesn't?"

"Bella, just stop."

"Just tell me where you did it so I don't accidently walk there. Come on, we have designated areas to pee and poop, might as well have a spot for cum too." I tried to hold it in, but the ridiculousness of my comment was getting to me and I started laughing.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he said disturbed. "Like seriously, are you mentally unstable?"

"Yes," I said without hesitation while I continued to laugh breathlessly. I was more than mentally unstable, I was becoming uncontrollably insane. What the hell was I talking about anyway? I was mortified by the garbage coming out of my mouth, but it was like I was a twelve year old sitting through Sex Ed class; ridiculously laughing to escape the embarrassment I was feeling.

"You're a moron," he mumbled, but then out of nowhere he started laughing as well.

"I just don't want to get all sticky," I said with tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Yeah, it's hard to get it off without soap," he said through his own hysterics… and that did it, I laughed even harder and I started getting dizzy. I fell over on my back and started rolling around to stop the convulsing madness overcoming me, but it was of no use.

I had thought the crying fit I had a few days prior was therapeutic, but I was wrong - laughing felt so good that I even had a moment where I wasn't completely hating life.

But rolling around in the sand wasn't the best idea because then it got in my lungs and my laughing turned into coughing.

"Are you ok?" Edward asked after I caught my breath.

"Yeah," I said while inhaling deeply. "Sorry, I have no idea what that was about."

He shrugged. "That's ok. Sorry for the boner," he said casually, which set us off on a new round of laughter.

When we were both finally calm again, I took another deep breath. "Ready to go swim?"

"Yep," he replied.

We were covered in sand, but otherwise the discomfort between us from the morning seemed completely gone, and I think we were both grateful for it. The last thing we needed was for things to be even more awkward between us.


	5. Adapting

Chapter 5 – Adapting

"Good, but make sure you rotate that arm all the way over your head…..Kick your legs harder and faster," I instructed Edward. He was actually doing extremely well and caught on quickly to everything I told him….Getting his confidence level up however, was a different story.

"I just can't do it," he said frustrated.

"What do you mean? You _are_ doing it," I said confused.

"But I can't do it for a long time; I keep getting tired and then I panic."

"Edward, you can do it, I know you can," I said encouragingly. Our eyes met unexpectedly, and I curiously found myself locked in his striking gaze. I supposed I never looked him in the eye before, not really anyway, and I was strangely hypnotized by the depth of the intense green color.

Suddenly he nodded, breaking the odd connection we had been trapped in. "Ok," he murmured before turning and pushing off the rocks to practice the swimming stroke once more.

After that, Edward seemed to become obsessed with swimming. Whenever he wasn't fishing, he was swimming in the lagoon and I was beginning to worry he'd shrivel up into one big prune from all the time he spent in the water. A few days later I stopped with the lessons. There wasn't much more I could teach him and he was getting frustrated by my juvenile level techniques anyway. I usually watched him from the side of the lagoon to make sure he was ok, but after awhile I was confident enough in his ability and I became too restless to sit there all day anymore. I couldn't physically pull him out of the water if necessary anyway, so I spent that time walking the beach and collecting shells.

…

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" I asked nervously before his first attempt to swim to the further reef, sans life vest. "Swimming in the ocean is a bit harder, especially while carrying a spear," I warned him.

"Undercurrents and drifts, I know," he said confidently. He looked at me with a crooked reassuring smile, which oddly made my breath catch. He wasn't wearing his glasses because he was about to swim, and his grown out hair was hanging in his face which made him look different somehow…older. His features had changed since arriving on the island as well - his nose was more defined, and his cheeks and jaw line were becoming more angular. If I was being honest with myself, I might have even thought he was almost beautiful_. Almost. _But it was_ Edward Cullen _I was talking about, and words like _beautiful _didn't make sense when describing him.

"I've been practicing swimming with the spear and I'm ready for the other stuff as well," he added.

"Ok," I said, trying to ignore the unwanted thoughts circling my mind. But suddenly I felt a little protective of him, sort of like a mother duck taking her duckling out on open water for the first time, so I decided to swim with him…. Though I should have heeded my own warning – the undercurrent was strong and I struggled a bit. But I was beyond surprised with the speed and ease Edward took to the waves; I was still faster, but not by much.

"Wow, you almost beat me," I said when we were safely on the reef.

"Well, I could always feel the currents before, even with the life vest, so I knew what to expect. Do you really think I did well?" he asked proudly.

"You did awesome….But since I taught you to swim and I came all the way out here, it's your turn to teach me how to use that spear thingy."

"You want me to teach you to fish?" he asked surprised.

"I just really want to jab that thing at something," I replied, feeling slightly sadistic.

"Ok," he said with a chuckle. He handed me the spear and told me how to aim it. "No, hold it here," he said while repositioning my hands to the 'proper' location.

"Like this?" I asked.

"Yep, go for it."

I zeroed in on a nice sized fish, and then jabbed it as hard as I could….and missed.

"What was it you said about treading water? Smooth and calm," he instructed like a smartass.

When I still did it too hard, he huffed then got behind me and placed his hands over mine to guide me. His bare chest was pressed against my barely covered back, and the position reminded me of the night he woke up with a hard on - but strangely enough, it wasn't uncomfortable like I was expecting. I didn't have that same strong urge to get away from him, and that superficial feeling of disgust was nothing more than a distant memory. In fact, having him so close almost felt…good. I realized in that moment that I had been craving to be touched since we got there, and not in a gross sexual way, I just needed some normal casual human contact.

He jabbed our arms forward, smooth and precise, and amazingly there was a fish stuck to the end of the spear.

"We did it!" I shouted in amazement. He smiled at me, and for once I forget where we were. I wasn't the popular girl, and he wasn't the geek who wrote my best friend love letters. We weren't even marooned on a deserted island right then; we were just two people, feeling triumphant and way too happy about spearing a fish.

"See, now if I end up getting killed you'll still be able to fish for yourself," he said unexpectedly, and the carefree moment was over.

"You better not die. Being stuck here is bad enough, there's no way I could do it all alone."

He laughed. "Ok, then if I break my leg or something, you'll be able to get the fish."

I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so. Though, I'll leave it to you until then."

"And I'll leave the cleaning to you. I really don't know how you can stomach that," he said.

"You would do it if you had to….but you have yourself a deal. You fish, I cook. It's very….domestic."

"Whoa now, don't go there," he said lightly. "I'd expect my wife to be a bit more _handy_."

I stared at him in shock for a moment, and the smirk that crept across his face made me break out and start laughing. "You're disgusting," I said between giggles.

"Hey, you started the dirty jokes," he said defensively, and he was right, I had. It was a way to ease the awkwardness between us, and it worked. Besides, a little crude joke never hurt anyone….as long as it was in good humor.

"Yeah well, if I was your wife you'd have to do a lot better than just bringing home some fish."

"Like what?" he asked clueless. "Seaweed?"

I scrunched my face. "Eww, no…. How about….shrimp?"

He scratched his head. "That would be difficult. Shrimp usually stay near the bottom of the ocean except at night when they come up to feed."

I rolled my eyes at his knowledge. Our playful joking had turned into a factual lesson in Marine Biology. Don't get me wrong, I was grateful for his knowledge, but it did sort of take the fun out of the moment. "We should get back to cook up the fish. I'm sure _my_ fish will be the best we've had yet," I said with faux narcissism

"Ok, why don't you head back and start the fire; I'll stay and catch a few more."

"Are you sure you'll be fine swimming back on your own?" I asked.

"Definitely….although, I don't have the vest to stuff them in to swim back. I'm not sure how to swim with the spear and the fish."

"That's easy, you can throw them at me," I said with a wink.

"Cool."

I handed Edward my fish so he could toss it to me when I got back on the beach, but just as I was about to dive in the water, Edward caught me by the arm.

"What is it?" I asked confused.

"Shark," he said simply.

"Where?" I asked in a panic.

"There, see the dorsal fin? It looks like a Blacktip…. Man, that's so cool!"

"Never mind the coolness factor, what are we going to do?"

"Oh, right," he said, remembering how serious of a predicament we were in. The shark was circling the reef and it didn't look like he was going to go anywhere anytime soon. "I don't think we can out swim it, especially me….we might just have to wait it out."

"How long will that be?"

He shrugged. "Depends. He probably came because he smelled the blood from your fish….he could be here for awhile."

"Great. Why didn't he ever come before? You've been spearing fish out here for…. How long has it been, anyway?"

"Well, I was notching off days on my spear," he said while pointing to the small cuts in the stick. "But I sort of lost count when I was learning how to swim."

"How long do you think it's been?"

He scratched his head. "Two weeks….maybe three."

"_Three weeks_?" I said to myself. In a way it felt like we had been there forever, but at the same time I couldn't believe three whole weeks could have passed without any sign of rescue. Were people even still looking for us?

We stood there quietly for awhile, and just watched the shark swimming around the reef. Luckily, where we were wasn't deep enough for the shark, but I had no idea how long we were going to be stuck there. Was the shark stalking us? Did he even know we were there, or was he after something else?

"What are we going to do?" I asked. "We can't just stay out here forever."

"I know, I'm thinking," Edward replied slowly while studying the shark intently. "This is really our only food source, we can't let this shark take it over," he said, mostly to himself. "I can try to spear it."

"And then we lose a spear….and make the water all bloody and attract more sharks."

"Our only other option is to distract it somehow and then swim as fast as we can."

"I'm a good swimmer, but I'm not sure how fast I am, and you're still new at it," I argued.

"That's the only plan I have," he said with a sigh.

"That's it?" I asked in panicked disbelief. "How can that be you're _only_ plan? I thought you were like some super smart boy scout, or something. Shouldn't you be able to come up with like three different ideas? Ones that don't include us trying to out-swim a shark and probably get eaten."

He shook his head. "That's all I got…. But the probability of us getting attacked is fifty/ fifty."

"Fifty/fifty as in…the shark will probably eat one of us."

He smirked. "Well, in that case you'll probably be safe. Like you said, I haven't been swimming long and I'm more meaty."

"Can you stop?" I asked anxiously. He kept joking around and I didn't find anything funny about the situation.

"Panicking isn't going to solve anything," he said calmly. "Besides I'm serious about the plan, I really think it'll work."

"What, us swimming for it and the shark choosing the slower swimmer?"

"No," he said frustrated. Without anymore warning, he cut the fish's stomach so it would bleed out and then he threw it out past the shark. "Swim now!" he shouted, and before I could protest, he pushed me into the water.

I didn't have time to be upset by his ridiculously stupid move; we were swimming in shark infested waters, so we were swimming for our lives.

When I reached the shore I went from panting from the exertion of the fastest swimming I had ever done, to absolutely terrified when I saw Edward wasn't there with me. I jumped up to look for him, and saw him just coming ashore with the shark only a few yards behind him.

"Hurry!" I shouted, though I doubted the shark could get to him from there. Without thinking about anything other than the fact that we were both alive, I grabbed him and pulled him up before hugging him tightly. I couldn't remember ever feeling that scared before - not even when we were dying of thirst on the dingy in the middle of the ocean. I had needed that contact anyway; after such a brush with death I just wanted him to hold me.

"It's fine," he said while breathing heavily and embracing me in his arms. "It wasn't chasing us."

"It was right there!" I argued, still shaking from the horror of it all. "If you had been just a little slower it would have gotten you."

"Nah, it never took an aggressive position. Besides, Blacktip Reef Sharks don't usually go after large prey like seals or people. They only attack when provoked or out of curiosity."

"So, you're saying we were never really in any danger?" I asked, pulling away and getting angry. "What was with that whole fifty/fifty crap?"

"Well, it could have bitten us if it wanted to," he said casually.

"You jerk!" I said while slapping his arm.

"Ouch, what was that for?"

"Why didn't you tell me it wasn't a dangerous shark? You knew how scared I was!"

"It's not _not_ dangerous," he contradicted. "It just wasn't dangerous right then."

I screeched out in irritation, and then stormed off towards the lagoon. I was so beyond livid that I couldn't even see straight. And to think, I was actually worried about him.

On top of everything else, that was the day I got my period.

FUCK!

I had no idea what to do without any pads or tampons, and I certainly couldn't go swimming anymore - That would attract sharks for sure, and the lagoon doubled as our drinking water, so both were out of the question.

I just sat in my designated 'bathroom' area of the forest with my shorts and underwear pulled down around my ankles. Thank god we were smart enough to separate our private spots, the last thing I needed was for him to walk up on me like that.

I must have sat there for a few hours or so before a plan came to me. I had no idea how well it would work, but it was all I had so I decided to try it. I kicked off my shoes and removed my socks before lining my underwear with a long thick leaf…and one of my socks. I figured once the sock was all soaked through I could wash it out and use the other as it dried.

When I was convinced it was working, I grudgingly walked out to the beach.

"Are you ok, you've been gone for awhile?" Edward asked quietly. "I'm really sorry about the shark."

I shrugged. "It's fine," I said, not wanting to relive it. "You cleaned fish?" I asked surprised. He was sitting and fire roasting some fresh fish that I certainly didn't clean.

"Yeah, well you weren't here…and I suppose I should do it every once in awhile, just to make sure I know how….you know, like you did with the fishing," he explained.

"What about the shark?"

He shrugged. "It must have left. I didn't see it anywhere and I was out there for an hour."

I nodded absently.

"So, I went looking for you, but I couldn't find you anywhere….Where did you go?" Edward asked hesitantly.

"Nowhere," I snapped at him, but then I sighed. Getting my period was a normal event, just as morning hard-ons were for him. "I was in my 'bathroom'…. I got my period," I mumbled.

"Um…Haven't you gotten one before?" he asked, not understanding the issue.

"Yeah, well I can't exactly go to the store for tampons, now can I."

"Oh…So...?" he let his sentence trail off. He didn't want to know, and I sure as hell didn't want to tell him either.

"I'm using my sock," I said regardless. Why I told him that, I had no idea.

And of course, he started laughing. "That's gross!"

"Go ahead, laugh it up," I said, trying to contain my own smirk.

"If it'll help, here," he said while removing his shoes and socks. "I'll donate my socks to the cause."

"I don't want your disgusting smelly socks on me _there_!"

"You could always wash them in the ocean. Saltwater is cleansing."

"I'll be fine with mine, thanks," I said mockingly.

My system of washing and drying one sock while pairing the other with a leaf as a period pad seemed to work fine, and luckily, my period was surprisingly light, though I wasn't exactly sure why. Was my lack of caloric intake causing issues with me period? I had heard of athletes in training or girls that were sick losing their periods, and if that was what was happening with me, I was more than happy about it.

After three days, my period was done - which was about half as long as normal, but another hygiene issue was driving me insane and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Where are you taking that?" Edward asked when I grabbed his Swiss Army knife.

"I need it…but I only need this one," I said while pulling apart the different knife attachments. We had figured out brushing our teeth – Edward gave me a chewing stick which I used with the saltwater of the ocean, and now the bathroom and period thing was tolerable, but the fact that I hadn't shaved since we got there was disturbing and I was starting to feel way too _flower-childish_.

I never shaved with a knife or straight blade before, but anything was better than hairy man pits. My legs didn't bother me as much, I always had fine hair there that wasn't really noticeable before I started shaving, no worse than the hair on my arms, but the pits needed to be cleaned out. When rescue did come, I certainly didn't want to be found looking like an uncivilized caveman.

I waded into the lagoon, but before I could get my clothes wet, I decided I really just wanted to feel as normal as possible, so it was time for a real bath. I took off all my clothes -underwear and all - and swam out to under the waterfall where it was shallow and I could sit. Carefully I angled the side of the knife and proceeded to shave my armpits. It was actually rather nerve-racking; one slip of my hand and I could seriously hurt myself, but it all went smoothly enough. I curiously found myself wondering if Edward was shaving the same way, or perhaps he wasn't physically mature enough to even have facial hair yet. He certainly didn't have chest hair, so it was possible he didn't need to shave at all.

It wasn't the first time I had gone skinny dipping in the lagoon, but usually I'd tell Edward when I was bathing so he'd stay away, this time however, was a very unwelcomed encounter. Just as I was heading over to where I left my clothes, Edward walked up to the lagoon and stopped dead in his tracks.

He was just staring at me wide eyed like he had never seen a naked woman before, and I guess he probably hadn't. And although I'd never admit it out loud, for a brief moment I actually liked it. It was the _way_ he was looking at me, something that started out as shocked gawking turned into something more intense, something almost animalistic; like the way a man would stare at the woman he was about to make mad passionate love to. That raw desire was flattering….and almost _erotic_ally enticing.

But then the moment passed and I remembered where we were and who we'd never be. "Don't just stand there, TURN AROUND!" I screamed. - _Fucking perve would have a whole new image to wack off to now._

He quickly turned while mumbling some kind of apology, but all I really wanted to do was escape his presence. How could I be stranded on some vacant island with only one other person, and yet, still feel like there was nowhere I could go to be alone.

I really didn't know why I was so pissed, it was obviously not his fault, but it only left me feeling confused and questioning everything, and I couldn't shake the sour mood that followed me for the next few days as I was trying to figure it all out….


	6. Falling Apart

Chapter 6 – Falling Apart

It was clear skies above and plenty warm out, so rather than sleep in the cave with Edward I decided to sleep out on the beach in order to get that distance I so desperately needed. Ever since he saw me naked I had been having strange thoughts that I couldn't really process, so I was trying to avoid him. When avoiding him wasn't really possible, I just found myself getting irritated and snapping at him for no particular reason.

"Why are you _still _sleeping?" I asked spitefully one early afternoon when he had yet to come out of the cave. Unlike with his boner, we didn't talk about the naked incident, and I never planned to either. It was just another natural fact of life, but like winter turning into spring, something was definitely changing between us that was both subtle and drastic at the same time. I just wasn't sure what it was or how I felt about it, so bitterness sprouted from my confusion and I had no idea how to get a handle of it.

"I don't know, I'm just tired," he said groggily.

"Are you sick?"

"No…I don't think so….but everything hurts," he moaned as he forced himself to get up.

"Well, maybe it's because you've been exercising a lot," I said sourly. You would think a guy who aced anatomy would know that exercise can cause muscle aches, especially when the body wasn't used to being so active.

"It's not my muscles," he said, as if he heard my unspoken thoughts. "It's like…my_ bones _hurt."

"Which ones?" I asked, becoming slightly concerned.

"All of them."

I rolled my eyes. How could _all _of his bones hurt?

Despite his complaints, Edward got up for the day and stumbled across the beach before carefully diving into the water, and swimming out to the reef to fish. As I watched him it became obvious that he was in some pain, though I had no idea what it could be from, and I definitely didn't want to think about it. If he was sick, then I had no way of helping him; my chest actually ached from the thought.

He threw his catch at me, and because we were completely in sync with it by then, I caught it easily. He threw a few more, and I was surprised that he continued to fish.

"We have plenty, come back now!" I shouted to him.

"No, we need more," he said without looking back at me.

"They're just going to go bad," I reminded him. Neither of us could eat more than two small fish per sitting and the ones we already had were rather large, so him catching more was just a waste of time.

He threw two more to me before finally coming back, and I couldn't help my scornful expression. "Why did you get so many?"

He shrugged sheepishly. "I'm hungry."

"We're always hungry around this time of day….but not _this_ hungry," I argued.

"I'm _really_ hungry," he replied.

"Why would you be so hungry? You've done nothing all day except sleep." All the concern I had for him over his painful bones vanished. If he was really sick there was no way he'd be hungry like that. He was probably just being lazy and lied about the pain.

"I don't know why I'm so hungry, I just am," he said while grabbing his fish and taking it to the waves to clean them himself.

We sat there together while he devoured all of his fish like there was no tomorrow, and then he laid back for a minute looking a little dazed from his large meal. It was rather disturbing.

"You're going to throw up now," I said to him.

He shook his head before sitting back up. "Nope, I'm fine….but I think I'm going to go lay down in the cave for a nap."

"What?" I asked incredulously. "You ate all that and now you're going back to bed?"

"What's the big deal? It's not like I have somewhere to be or we've been hanging out together, so what the hell do you care what I do?"

"You've lost some weight here, but if you keep eating like that and being lazy you're just going to put it all right back on," I told him harshly.

He glared at me full of hurt from my comment, but strangely his anger clouded that hurt and I knew in that moment things were about to explode.

"Looks like we're both going back to how we were when we first came here," he said heatedly.

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked confused.

"I'm getting fatter again, and you're back to being a full time bitch."

I could actually feel my blood boil from his comment, and I erupted. "Screw you! I have every right to be bitter about being stuck here!" I shouted. "It's been weeks, and there hasn't even been a helicopter flying in the distance or a ship passing. I don't want to be here forever with _you!_"

"You think I like being here with you?" he retorted. "I could think of a hundred different people I'd rather be stranded with."

"Oh, let me guess, would Tanya be at the top of that list?" I screeched like a crazy jealous person. _Was I jealous of his high school crush thousands of miles away?_ The thought made me even angrier.

He looked at me confused for a moment, as if he wasn't sure who I was talking about, but then it seemed to come to him and he got angrier as well. - "Fine, if you want to go there, then yeah; if I had to be stuck, I'd rather have been stuck with Tanya! At least she had half a brain and was nice to people."

"Tanya is like…the stupidest, most stuck up person of our entire group," I argued.

"Maybe around you. She was always nice to me….always before that stupid poem anyway. Maybe she would have continued to be nice to me if her bitch of a best friend wouldn't have laughed at me so hard until she couldn't help but join in."

"Oh please, she would have laughed regardless of me. Your poem was pathetic, and so were you!"

"I was pathetic? You were willing to give some brainless jock a blowjob even though he was rude and disrespectful."

At first I didn't know what he was talking about, but then it came to me….Mike. He was rude and disrespectful after I had gotten sick on the boat, I just had no idea how _Edward Cullen_ could possibly know anything about it. It wasn't like he ran in our social circle to hear the gossip. "Who told you that?"

"I heard you guys up there. I was down in the dingy below, remember? The worst thing I ever did was untie that stupid dingy to save you after you fell in the water, I should have just…." He let his sentence trail off.

"Don't stop there - you should have just what? Let me drown?"

"No, I didn't mean that," he said regretfully.

"Whatever, you're absolutely right; you should have just let me drown because dying would have been better than staying here with you." I said before storming off. My chest was tight, my stomach was in knots, and every single muscle in my body was rigid from the confrontation. I needed to flee; I had to get out of his presence before I broke down crying and said something even worse that I'd forever regret.

"Wait, where are you going? This is stupid; we're both saying things we don't mean," he said as he followed me.

"Nope, wrong again; I mean every word I've said," I lied heatedly. It was going way too far, but I couldn't stop it at that point; I was just too stubborn to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right. "This is a big island, there's no reason why we need to stay together. Let's just agree that if either of us sees a boat, we'll make sure the other gets rescued too."

"What? Bella, no, we're not separating," he said in a rush. "I'm sorry, ok. Let's just forget this whole thing like we did when we argued before."

"I want to be left alone!" I shouted at him. "You disgust me. I hate you, I hate this place, and I just want to be alone for the rest of our time here."

He pressed his lips, and then nodded. "Ok, fine, you can stay in the cave so you'll be close to the lagoon; I'll go back to the other side of the island."

I was taken aback by his offer, and a flood of thoughts invaded my mind. I needed to backtrack, I didn't want this. "What are you going to do for water?" I asked softly, not sure what to say or how to take it all back. I didn't want him to go, but I just couldn't admit it.

"Don't worry about me, I'll figure it out. If I can't find any other water source, I'll come back to the lagoon when you're not around. You won't see me, I promise, it'll be like I never even existed," he said solemnly. He pulled his knife out of his pocket and proceeded to break it apart, dividing it between us. "Here, you can have the flint."

"How will you start a fire?" I murmured, in complete shock it was actually happening.

"I was a boy scout, remember? I'll figure it out."

He took one knife off the bunch and left the rest for me before disappearing into the trees. And once again, I felt sick as my chest constricted and my stomach tied itself into knots. I wanted to run after him and laugh it all off like it was just a joke, but my legs wouldn't move.

_What the hell did I just do?_

We were just fighting, just like we always did before. It'll blow over and he'll come back in a few hours, I was sure of it.

But he didn't come back in a few hours. I was alone all night, which really wasn't bad considering I had been sleeping away from him anyway, but after the third night passed, I decided it had gone on long enough and I set out to find him.

After trekking for a few hours through the jungle, I found the beach we had first washed up on, but he was nowhere in sight. For a moment I thought I found the wrong beach, but then I saw his big SOS written out with rocks on the sand. It was half covered from the time that passed since he wrote it, but it only proved I was in the right place.

"EDWARD!" I called to him, but he wasn't there. He wasn't anywhere. That side of the island seemed to be more exposed to the elements, so after a day and a half of waiting around in the wind and rain hoping he'd turn up, I decided to head back to the lagoon and my cave home.

What if he had gone swimming and drown? He left the life vest in the cave as a pillow for me, so it was definitely a possibility. He was getting better and better at swimming since we had started working on it, but he was still new at it. Maybe he got caught in an undertow or bit by a shark. Or maybe he walked into a poisonous plant or eaten by an anaconda. Maybe all his body aches before were signs of some horrible disease which he succumbed to….There were a thousand possibilities as to what happened to him, and each was more horrifying then the last.

It was all my fault. How could I have been so horrible to him? He was absolutely right, I was the worst bitch imaginable and I deserved nothing more than to live alone on that island for the rest of my life. Maybe nature would have mercy on me and kill me sooner rather than later. I really didn't want to turn out like Tom Hanks in the movie 'Cast Away' and be forced to give myself a root canal with an ice skate. Of course, I didn't have an ice skate, but that was beside the point.

When more days passed than I was able to keep track of, I began to accept the fact that I'd be spending the rest of my life alone. He wasn't coming back and I doubted he ever would. I was on my own and it was only a matter of time before I befriended a volleyball and named it Wilson….I only wished I had one.

God, I missed Edward. Like really missed him, not just missed being with someone, but him personally. The way he'd laugh at the most ridiculous things, or how his face would light up when he was passionate about something. I never gave him enough credit, and I was sure I'd always regret that for however much longer I had to live.

If help never came, I could have found a way to make life work on the island…but not alone, not without him. I spent my time sitting on the beach, just staring out into the horizon. I fished, I drank, I made fire, but all of it was empty and swimming for fun was a distant memory. There was no fun left. Everything seemed pointless, there was just nothing.

I didn't know how much time had passed, and there was no way of knowing whether Edward was dead or hurt somewhere, but finally, out of the blue, he gave me a sign.

I was walking aimlessly on the beach in an empty daze, when I decided to head over to the lagoon for a drink. There, sitting on the rocks, was something so incredible that I seriously thought I was imagining it. It was a giant dried palm leaf knotted into a basket….which was full of the most beautiful fruit I had ever seen. Berries, bananas, pineapple, mangos, papayas, and guavas. It was like heaven on earth, and the best part was knowing Edward was out there somewhere, and he was ok.

I quickly looked around in the hopes he was still there, but there was no sign of him. I had no idea where he found the fruit because I certainly hadn't come across any, but then again I had only seen a small portion of the island - basically the two opposing beaches and the pathway between them. Obviously Edward had been exploring, and I couldn't have been more grateful….I only wished he'd show himself so I could beg him to forgive me and stay.

* * *

*****Hmmmm, it's been awhile since she's seen him, I wonder how he's changed ;) **


	7. Safe

Chapter 7 – Safe

I hadn't realized how malnourished I was from my all fish diet, until I started eating the fruit. Fish was a good protein, but there were certain vitamins and sugars that I supposed my body was lacking, and I felt so much better once I was able to be more balanced.

Every few days or so, Edward would leave more fruit at the lagoon, but he never made contact. I tried waiting around for him, but he never showed when I was there and I could feel my previous anger towards him oddly seep back in. Why was he being so elusive? I appreciated the fruit, but I'd rather starve than have him sneak in and leave food like I was unable to fend for myself. I didn't need him to feel guilty about leaving me; I didn't need anyone for anything. Despite my unhinged emotions however, I lost the motivation to fish, and my all fish diet morphed into an all fruit diet, which made me extremely tired all the time but I just couldn't force myself to care.

I would go back and forth from not caring and being angry, to obsessing about everything from my family and friends, to school and my future. Were people even still searching for us, did anyone still care? But more than anything else, I still found myself thinking about Edward. Whether I was hating him or missing him, he was a constant on my mind.

I was so confused.

But then it hit me like a lightning bolt and everything became perfectly clear. It was during a typical rainy night when I was huddled in my cave bed trying to sleep away the thoughts, when I heard a noise outside the handmade wall. I looked up and could have sworn I saw a figure outside looking in, but I turned away for a moment and when I looked back it was gone. I convinced myself that I was just imagining it, but I was on edge after that and I wished more than ever that Edward would come back. And then, out of nowhere, I realized why I had been so emotionally unstable…and it went far beyond the confines of the island.

The truth was, I was angry at myself about more than just my most recent cruel tantrum towards him.

Edward was truly the nicest, most honestly good person I had ever known, and I definitely wasn't worthy of being his friend…but I wanted to be, both on and off the island, and that was the issue. Being Edward's friend meant my entire life back home would be different. The people I hung out with would shun me for having such a friend, and before long I'd be just as unpopular as Edward which meant everything I had loved doing before would stop. No more parties, no more hanging at the mall and flirting with guys, even cheerleading would end because of my friendliness to someone deemed 'unworthy' by the popular crowd. It was an extremely shallow concern, but that was the life of a typical teenage girl, and I knew in that moment that I wasn't a typical teenage girl anymore and none of it would ever matter to me again.

Something changed inside of me that started when we first arrived on the island, but only then did I allow myself to realize it…to accept it. The whole social aspect of high school was so beyond stupid that I hated myself for ever being a part of it. I wanted Edward as a friend, in fact, compared to him, I never even had a real friend before and I was fully prepared to give up all my other _so called_ friends for him when we returned. Never again would I tease him or allow others to. Edward didn't deserve it. Even if he never forgave me for my bitchiness, I still refused to let anyone push him around again. I just really wish he would allow me to tell him how sorry I was.

But the longer I was alone, the more I worried about my sanity. Just a few days prior I found myself befriending a little blue hermit crab whom I lovingly named Bree….sadly I didn't realize until awhile later that it was actually dead. After giving Bree a sad burial at sea, I moved on to a new group of friends….A lizard named Leah, a snail named Seth, and a snake - yes a snake I named Sam. At first I was rather afraid of Sam, but after several minutes of us not bothering each other, we learned to appreciate the other's company and form a comfortable relationship of me talking about Edward, and him listening.

But I needed more. I needed to hear Edward's voice again and laugh at his ridiculous jokes. I wanted to fall asleep next to him at night and wake up in the uncomfortable comfort of his heavy arm smothering me. I would even take his morning wood every day for the rest of my life if he would just come back. So I collected rocks and wrote out a message.

'TALK' – was all I was able to fit in the space where he usually left the fruit….but the next day there was new fruit, and still no Edward.

"Come on Edward, I made a mistake!" I called out to him, wondering if he was close enough to hear. "Well, I made _a lot_ of mistakes," I added, mostly to myself. When he still didn't turn up, I decided that I just couldn't continue to live alone anymore, and I set out to look for him yet again.

As I trekked through unfamiliar parts of the island jungle, however, I was beginning to rethink my idea of searching for him. It wasn't that I didn't want him to come back, because I did more than anything, but it was one of the hottest days yet, and I worried I'd never be able to find my way back to the lagoon. Though, dying probably would have been better than being alone anymore, so I guess it was worth it.

I had no way of bringing water with me on my journey, but I brought Edward's knife and thankfully there were plenty of water vines along the way. And right when I was aching from hunger, I saw the bananas. They were absolutely beautiful, but more than that, it gave me hope I was on the right path towards Edward.

"Edward!" I called out to him, but there was still no answer. "Oh, where are you?" I whined to myself. The sun was lowering in the sky, and I knew there was no way I'd be able to get back before dark, so I just kept moving forward. I had to be closer to Edward's camp than mine.

The lack of protein in my body was starting to have a serious effect on my system; my feet were throbbing from all the hiking I was doing that day, and I was beginning to get light headed. But when I glanced down at the ground in front of me, I noticed a path. It wasn't a perfect, professionally cleared path or anything, but it was definitely a route that had been taken multiple times so the vegetation was bent over and crunched into a clear walkway. Edward was close, I could just feel it.

I followed the path around a bend and suddenly there was a break in the trees, and between them I could see the picturesque view of another beach. The relief I felt from getting out of the jungle was immeasurable, but then something caught my eye and without having a chance to fully process what I was seeing, I ducked for cover.

I had thought Edward and I were the only two people on the island, but I was clearly mistaken. A man, wearing nothing but a pair of dirty ripped shorts, was walking along the shore, kicking the water as waves crashed into his shins. A part of me wanted to run out to him and beg him to help us - perhaps he had a boat, maybe he was just taking a break from some sailing trip – but something made me nervous so I stayed hidden and just watched him from afar. He could be a runaway convict for all I knew.

His hair was a strange reddish-bronze color that hung to his chin, and he was definitely well toned as the water droplets from the splashing waves sparkled like diamonds on his skin. If I had been in a normal frame of mind in a normal civilized place, I probably would have watched him with lust and drooled as he walked by, but as it was, I just wanted the man to help us and dating of any kind didn't exist in my world anymore.

But then it happened. The man went over to what looked like a fire pit, and then he kneeled down and pulled out a pair of glasses. He was holding them in a way so the sun would shine through the lens in order to spark a fire, but all I cared about, the only thing that I could think of, was that they were Edward's glasses and he stole them from him.

The thought of all the school jocks and bullies flashed through my mind – the way they would push him in the halls, or flick his glasses off, even take things aggressively out of his hands. He was always powerless against them, and I felt absolutely sick that the Adonis wannabe had the audacity to take the defenseless boy's glasses.

Well, I wasn't going to stand for it.

"What the hell are you doing?" I shouted as I stormed onto the beach in a sudden rush of adrenaline. The man looked up at me bewildered, but I was in such a blind rage that it was impossible for me to pause. "Where the hell do you get off – taking those glasses like you had a right."

Edward had been pushed around enough in his life; pushed around by idiots like me who were undeserving of his company, and I refused to stand by and allow it ever again.

"What are you -" he asked, but I wouldn't stop to listen to him.

"Where is he? What did you do to him?"At that point, my irrational mind was sure this man had done something horrible to Edward. Perhaps I was delusional and dehydrated from my hike and solitude, maybe it had something to do with my horrible diet, but I was out for blood and I refused to back down.

"Bella, are you sick or something?" he asked, and I could have sworn he almost sounded concerned.

"Don't change the subject," I snapped. "Where is he?"

"Who?"

"Edward," I said strongly, but then I realized something. "Wait, did you just say _'Bella'_?" I asked confused as to what was real and what I was imagining. I was definitely losing it; perhaps I was dreaming or had a high fever that was causing me to hallucinate, but suddenly Adonis kind of looked like Edward…._well, Edward's older brother in much better shape._

"Ok, you know what, sit down and I'll get you some water," he said while leading me to a rock to rest. He was gone for a few moments, but then he was back in a flash with a cup of some kind. "Take small sips, I think you're dehydrated."

"No…I had water vine thingies," I argued feebly.

"It's over 100 degrees out today; you need more than just water vines."

"Wha…what am I drinking?" I asked confused as he pushed the cup back to my lips.

"Water," he said simply.

"Yeah….but how?"

"I just rolled this leaf into a tight cone and dipped it into the lagoon."

_The lagoon?_ There must have been more than one, because there was no way he could get there and back so quickly. "Where's Edward?" I asked, feeling like my brain was going to explode from the pressure of my headache.

"You're not making sense," he said worriedly. "Just keep drinking until your mind clears."

"No…you need to tell me where he is, before…." My sentence trailed off as my vision blurred. I could vaguely feel myself falling backwards, but despite the rocky terrain, I didn't land hard. _Did he catch me from falling?_

I woke up some time later to the calming sound of waves crashing and some sort of lullaby being hummed softly. It was absolutely beautiful but somewhat disorienting, and before I had a chance to really process my surroundings, the humming stopped.

"You're awake? How are you feeling?" his voice said gently.

My eyes wheeled until I saw his face, and even though my vision was still slightly hazy, I could think clearly enough to understand what had happened. He had changed during our time apart, but it was definitely him and I was absolutely ridiculous for not realizing it right away.

"Edward," I mumbled as I tried to sit up. He rushed to my side and helped me up, but didn't let go until he was sure I was sturdy. "You're you…I mean, you're here."

"Bella, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you were sick, I should have talked to you sooner."

"I'm not sick," I agued weakly. "I just….walked a really long way and it made me delirious."

"A long way?" he said confused. "Bella, your beach is just right over on the other side of that cliff."

"What cliff?" I asked, taken aback by his comment.

"Right there," he said, pointing behind me so I turned and looked over my shoulder, and sure enough there was a large cliff that hugged the shoreline….and it looked to be the same cliff that I had always noticed at the end of my beach, just the opposite side.

Was he really that close all along?

"But I walked all day to get here," I said in disbelief.

"You must have walked in a huge U. Were you navigating with the little compass on the Swiss Army knife I left you?"

I scrunched my face. "I didn't know there was one."

"Bella, I'm really sorry, if I knew you had no idea I was here, I would have made sure to tell you. I honestly thought you just didn't want me around and that was why you never came to talk to me."

"I left you a note," I argued lightly.

"A note?" he asked confused.

"Well, I spelled out 'Talk' with rocks where you usually left the fruit," I explained.

He scratched his head. "There were some scattered rocks there once….but they didn't spell anything out."

I huffed. "Sam must have messed them up."

"Sam? Who's Sam?"

"My snake…just, never mind," I said dismissively.

"You shouldn't mess with snakes, they can be poisonous," he informed me. He went on to describe the different ways to spot a poisonous snake which was strangely charming, but I wasn't really paying attention. He was there, and I'd make sure we never separated again. "Why are you staring at me like that?" he asked unexpectedly.

"I just really missed you," I told him. "And I'm so sorry for being such a bitch before."

He shrugged. "I get it…This would be hard for anyone."

He stood and walked over to his fire where he flipped the fish that I didn't even notice were roasting there. They smelled so good that my stomach twisted into desperate knots, and ached like I hadn't eaten in years. But I wasn't about to ask for some, not after everything I had done to him – I didn't deserve his help.

"You seem to have adapted quite nicely," I said while watching him in awe. Gone was the short chubby boy I had known, and in his place was this man with a perfectly tone physique who looked to have grown several inches in our time apart. But his looks weren't important; it didn't matter if he was the fattest man on earth or had the looks of a super model, as long as he was willing to stay with me, I was beyond ecstatic.

He smiled slyly. "I just choose to look at it as an extended camping trip. I was never really allowed to camp so I would live through books and whatnot…..But here, it's like living how I've only read about….what I was only ever able to fantasize about before. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom, but I think being away from her is actually turning out to be a good thing. I'm not happy about being stranded, but I'm grateful for the freedom."

I nodded, understanding completely what he was saying. "I know what you mean. I think being here…and being alone for awhile, gave me time to really consider what's important in life."

"That's cool," he responded, and just like that, it seemed we were past our fight. Edward wasn't the type to dwell on his anger or hold grudges. He was compassionate and forgiving, and I was so incredibly grateful.

"So, why did you decide to stay here instead of the other side of the island like you said you were going to do?" I asked.

"Oh, well I went there, but it was just too exposed to the elements to stay, so I came here. Besides, if you were to get hurt or something, I thought it would be best to stay close by."

"You're here to keep an eye on me?" I asked shocked. If I was still my normal bitchy self I might have been offended by his thought that I couldn't take care of myself, but now I was just appreciative because the truth was that I couldn't. "But I called you a few times and you never answered."

"I never heard you calling, every time I checked on you, you looked fine….But it's not like I've been sitting here doing nothing. I've been hiking all around the island, so I may not have been here when you called. This is actually a really cool place. The ecosystem is amazing."

"Your hair is a different color," I commented, unable to get his transformation completely out of my mind. I wondered if I would have noticed it as much if we never separated. As it was, his changes were very drastic, though not to the point where I shouldn't have been able to recognize him. I must have just been too out of it to realize who he was right away.

"Oh, well…maybe the sun lightened it," he said while pulling his hair down his forehead in order to see what I was talking about.

"You've lost a lot of weight," I added absently.

He looked down at his muscular bare torso. "Yeah, well you were right about being active, I feel so much better than I used to. More energy and such….I'd still like some pizza right about now, though."

That made me smile widely. "And chili cheese fries."

He chuckled lightly. "Too bad all we have is fish," he said before putting the hot fish on a leaf and handing it to me.

"No, that's yours…I'll fish for myself in the morning."

"Don't be ridiculous, you just passed out a little bit ago. There is no way you're going into the ocean until you've gotten your strength back," he said sternly. I was surprised by his tone; it was strong and almost domineering a way that I never expected from him. I always hated controlling guys, and every time I encountered one in the past I'd cut ties with them right away, but there was something strangely alluring about it coming from Edward. It made my heart race, and I found myself wanting nothing more than to do whatever he told me. It made me feel….safe.

So I took the fish.

"Thanks," I said softly, suddenly feeling shy.

Along with the fish, Edward also had fruit and some kind of green leafy thing that he said was full of vitamins. We ate together and exchanged stories of our time apart, and I could feel my strength returning quickly - though I wasn't sure if it was physical, or if I was just feeling so much better from being with him again.

"So, do you want me to walk you back to your cave, or do you want to stay here for the night?" he asked as the last colors from the sky were fading to black.

"Here," I said, without even taking a moment to think about it.

"Ok," he said casually. He laid back, and even though I wasn't tired, I followed his lead and laid back as well.

"Do you have any more scary stories?" I asked after a minute of comfortable silence. I had been alone for what seemed like a really long time, so really I just wanted to keep hearing his voice.

"I've got all kinds of stupid scary stories," he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Tell me?" I asked.

Edward began telling some kind of odd vampire story, but I couldn't hear him well enough so I scooted closer which made him pause. "What are you doing?" he asked after a minute.

"Nothing, I just can't hear over the waves and crackling fire," I explained, even though that was only a small part of the truth. I just wanted to be closer to him, to touch him and make sure he was really there. My mind had been playing a lot of tricks on me lately, and I wouldn't have been surprised one bit if I was actually imaging the entire thing and was really talking to a coconut.

He seemed strangely uncomfortable about our close proximity, but he continued his story anyway. After it concluded, I pretended to be sleeping in the hopes he'd fall asleep as well. And when I was sure he was safely unconscious, I scooted even closer to him – close enough to feel his breath on my face and the heat from his skin. I needed that contact, it was something that was as important as water, and I wondered if I'd be able to lift his arm over me without waking him so we could be even closer. But I didn't attempt it. He just looked so peaceful lying there in the glow of the fire, and I just wanted to watch him for awhile without disturbing him.

I never felt myself fall asleep, but the next thing I knew I was opening my eyes to a new day….and Edward's heavy hot arm draped over my shoulders. Did I move him after all without realizing it, or did he put his arm there on his own? I couldn't be sure, but I wasn't about to ask him either.

I got a little too comfortable and snuggled closer to him, burying my face into his chest so I could inhale the sweet scent of his skin, but that move made him stir before finally waking him.

"What are you doing?" he asked groggily.

_Good question; what was I doing?_

"I was cold," I lied, having no idea what else to say.

"Okay," he said awkwardly before scooting away and getting up to stretch. "I'm going to go catch some breakfast."

He quickly picked up his spear, which I was grateful to see – he had left the other one with me, so I was glad he was able to make another – and then he headed out to the nearby reef.

"Can I go with you?" I asked while following him. I wasn't ready to be alone again, even if it was just while he fished.

"Are you feeling up to it?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah, I feel great."

"Alright," he said unsure.

We didn't discuss if we'd be staying together after that, but I didn't think we had to either. It was obvious that I wasn't going to let him get away again; I only hoped my newfound separation anxiety didn't annoy him too badly and cause him to resent me. He was use to his 'freedom' as he put it, and I really didn't want to change that, so I promised myself I'd go along with whatever he wanted to do from then on out. I owed him that.

But like with all my other unfulfilled self-promises, I soon realized that going along with whatever _he_ wanted was an extremely hard thing to do…


	8. Wants

Chapter 8 – Wants

Edward and I quickly settled into a comfortable routine which was much like the way we were before separating, except everything had changed. _How could something be the same and yet feel so new and different at the same time_? It didn't make sense, but it felt so entirely right that I decided not to worry about the significance of it all and just try to enjoy our time together.

And enjoy our time, we did.

"Bella, wake up," Edward said excitedly one early morning while shaking me gently. It had been a few days since reuniting and we were still sleeping on his beach, although he had commented on the idea of us both moving back to the cave eventually – he was worried about the weather changing.

"What's wrong?" I asked groggily. Dawn was barely starting to break over the island, which meant he was waking us up just a tad bit early. Obviously, we had no electricity so we basically rose with the sun and went to bed when it became too dark to see. But he was clearly excited about something, which made me excited as well. "What's going on?"

"You have to come see this," he said before grabbing my hand and helping me up. I had no idea where he was taking me, but the fact that he didn't release my hand as we went commanded all my attention.

We were holding hands….which was odd and amazing at the same time. Our connection made my stomach flutter and sent electric waves running up and down my arm. I wasn't sure how I honestly felt about our sudden physical closeness, but when he finally did let go, my hand tingled and felt sadly empty.

"Look," he said quietly, knocking me out of the daze that remained from his touch.

My eyes followed the direction he pointed in, and there, hidden in the sand, was a nest of newly hatched sea turtles.

"Oh my god," I said a little too loudly, and then covered my big stupid mouth with my hands.

He chuckled. "Don't worry, you're fine," he assured me. "Aren't they awesome? I found the eggs a few days ago and they must have just hatched."

"They're so beautiful," I said sincerely. "But where's their mother?"

"Turtles just lay their eggs then goes back to sea."

"When will she come back?" I asked worriedly.

"She won't. Her job is done, now they're on their own."

"That's horrible!" I said disturbed. "They're so….defenseless."

He shrugged. "That's nature. Come on, let's leave them alone."

"We can't just leave them to fend for themselves," I argued. "We have to help them."

"Bella, only one in a thousand will survive, that's just the facts of life."

"One in _a thousand_? That's ridiculous! Well, _our _turtles are going to survive," I said determinedly. "How do we make it happen?"

"We can't guarantee they'll live…."

"But?" I prompted because he had paused.

"But, we can make sure they make it to the water. The beach holds dozens of dangers; predators like crabs and birds are just waiting for an easy meal like them. Once they get to the water they'll have all new concerns…but if we can get them there, that's half the battle."

I nodded. "So, we'll get them there."

We spent the next two days keeping guard of the little turtles, and even camped around their nest to make sure they weren't killed while we slept. And when they made their monumental trek to the ocean, we made sure each one lived long enough to reach the water.

"Man down, man down!" I shouted when I saw that one of the turtles had accidently flipped over on its back. It was dark out, but luckily the moon that evening was so bright that our eyes could easily see their movements.

Edward grabbed it and flipped it over, but then the thing got stuck behind a stick so Edward decided to just pick it up and carry it to the water, and I couldn't help but smile at him. "Technically, we're screwing with nature here," he said sheepishly. "They're not all supposed to survive the beach."

"Yeah, well we're not supposed to be stranded here either, and since we are, these turtles are going to benefit from it," I replied.

He returned my smile with a huge grin of his own. "Well, I guess the entire ocean's ecosystem isn't going to implode from a few extra surviving turtles. They're sure lucky you're here."

"Why? You wouldn't have helped them like this without me?"

He shook his head. "Humans aren't supposed to intervene."

"So why are you going along with it then?" I asked quietly, feeling shy again.

"Because it was important to you," he said simply, and I couldn't help the sudden rush of heat that devoured my face – it was a good thing it was dark out, because I really didn't want him to see me blush.

"They did it!" I cheered when the last baby turtle shuffled itself into the waves. It was more than a gratifying experience, it was downright magical which brought tears to my eyes. I was so overwhelmed by the moment that I reached for Edward and hugged him tightly. He returned the embrace, sending electric pulses through every inch of my body, and neither one of us pulled away; we just stood there and watched the moon dancing on the water with our arms wrapped around the other. Our success with the turtles combined with our new closeness was an amazing high that I couldn't properly explain. I never felt anything like it, and wondered if I ever would again once we were finally rescued.

After an hour or so passed, we decided we'd better get to bed for the night, except we had no way to start a fire. Usually we'd use the sun and his glasses to spark it, but Edward said the fire could confuse the turtles so we never lit it. We could have used the flint, except I left it back at the cave which was too far in the dark to get to, so we just laid out under the stars and let the excitement of the evening course through us until we were able to relax.

"That was so…thrilling," I said, unable to turn my brain off long enough to sleep.

Edward was lying on his back, but he rolled over on his side in order to see me properly to respond. "See why I wanted to be a marine biologist? It's all so fascinating."

"Yeah, I really do see it now…. Tell me something else," I asked eagerly. I had always thought marine biology was pointless and boring, but seeing it all firsthand was remarkable and so much more…._real _than anything else I had ever experienced before.

Edward went on to explain different aspects of marine biology, some of which I vaguely remembered reading about in class, but none of it had been able to stick in my mind until hearing it in Edward's words. He then turned the lesson into a fascinating lecture about the plant and animal life on our particular island, and I knew I would never forget a word of it.

"So there could be some endangered animals on this island as well?" I asked him.

"Sure."

"Like the endangered…._Cullen Swan_?" I joked.

He laughed. "Yeah, that type of bird is really rare."

"I bet their numbers have really decreased in recent months," I added.

"I think they're down to the last two now."

We laughed for another moment, but after thinking about it, we both realized it wasn't funny. We really were endangered on that island and I wondered how long we could survive there. I missed my mom and friends, but most of all, I missed my dad. I was always a daddy's girl growing up but we had hit a rough patch the year prior after he caught me and my friends with pot and forced us to spend the night in a juvenile detention facility. I hated him for months and things never really got back to the way they were, but in that moment, I missed him like crazy and wished he was there to tell me everything was going to be ok.

"Edward?" I said as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Yeah?" he asked softly.

"Will you hold me for a little while?" At any other moment I would have been mortified to ask such a thing, but right then I just needed to be close to someone.

He didn't respond verbally, he simply scooted closer and draped his arm around me while I cried soundlessly. I had been so empty during my weeks alone that it wasn't until then that all my fears had really hit me.

What if we were never found?

The island had become a better place in the recent days since reuniting with Edward, but the thought of never telling my dad how sorry I was, or how much I loved him was just too much to handle and I began sobbing. Thankfully, I wasn't alone. Edward held me tightly and rubbed my back until I eventually cried myself to sleep.

After such a heavy emotionally charged night, I woke the next morning feeling so much lighter and almost carefree in a way, which was apparent in our newfound corporal closeness. We spent that entire day in the sun playing childish games like _Rock-Paper-Scissors_ and building sandcastles, all the while always holding hands or sitting so close that I was practically in his lap.

Was I only imagining our new physical bond? I just didn't understand why he never commented on it. Perhaps it meant something different to him_, although I wasn't exactly sure what it meant to me at that point._

"This is my room," Edward said while poking a hole for a window in the main part of the sandcastle – rubbing his elbow on mine as he did so.

I moved my legs so they were lying across his lap, which he didn't seem to mind whatsoever. "Well, what about me?" I asked while gesturing towards _his_ castle room.

"Here," he said while leaning over me so he could poke a hole in the neighboring tower. "This will be your room."

"No way, I've been alone long enough, I'm rooming with you," I said assuredly.

"I told you already, you'll have to be a lot more _handy_ if you're going to be my wife," he joked….at least, he sounded like he was joking. Was it really an invitation of some sort? Was he feeling me out to see if I'd be open to more? _Would_ I be open to more? The idea made my heart race.

"Well, I can't be handy from that far away, now can I?" I replied suggestively.

"True….but don't complain when all my wenches come in to take their turn," he shot back with his same playful tone. Perhaps it was all just a joke to him.

But I decided to push him a little further -"Hey now, I never said I'd be willing to share. If you're going to be the king of my castle you're going to have to be monogamous."

"It's not up to you. You're just a mere woman, you don't make the decisions."

"Oh really?" I said with faux offense.

"Yep, and if you have a problem with that, you can move your stuff out to the tower."

_Ok, he was definitely just messing around, so I tried to get back into the game of it, and forget about all the other stuff. _

"I think _you_ should move to the tower," I said, and then I moved off of him before grabbing a handful of sand from the so called tower, and dumping it on his head.

He sat there stunned for a moment while the sand slowly fell from his hair, and then he looked up at me with a sinister expression. "Oh, you are dead," he said coldly, but I wasn't the slightest intimidated. I laughed challengingly, and then took off running down the shore….and of course he chased me.

I really thought I had enough of a lead to keep away from him, but the next thing I knew he was right behind me which made me scream out in surprise.

God, he sure as hell got fast.

He grabbed a hold of me and begun tickling my sides making my knees buckle, but I wasn't going down without a fight so I pulled him down with me. We fell onto the sand right as a wave crashed over us causing me to get a mouth full of water, but it only made him hold onto me tightly until the water receded – which was more than fine by me.

"Are you ok?" he asked while helping me up.

"Yeah," I said with a smile, though I would have preferred it of he held onto me a little longer. I pulled my wet shirt over my head, and laid it on a rock to dry. I usually swam in my bra so it wasn't something new for Edward, but when he saw me that day I could have sworn he did a double take before letting his eyes linger a moment longer than usual. _Did that mean we should be expecting his morning wood the next day? _The thought made my stomach flutter.

"So…where's your shirt?" I asked. Since we had been back together, I had yet to see him with his shirt, which I wasn't complaining about, I was just curious.

"Uh….I'm not sure actually. I took it off somewhere and have no idea where."

"Oh…well, I guess you don't really need it or anything," I said while watching a droplet of water rolling down his collarbone towards his perfectly sculpted chest and then follow the indents of his abdominal muscles before disappearing into the waistband of his shorts.

"How do your shorts still fit?" I asked without thinking. The band seemed to be resting perfectly on his hips which was mesmerizing and confusing at the same time. He had lost a lot of weight, so how could they possibly still fit?

He shrugged. "I always wore them under my gut, so…" he let his sentence trail off since he really didn't have an answer.

We sat shoulder to shoulder on the rocks and munched on some fruit, but I found myself still unable to keep my mouth shut_._ "Whatever happened to your retainer?" I asked after thinking about the way he used to be.

He looked at me questionably. "What's with the third degree?"

"I don't know," I said honestly. "Got something better to talk about?"

"Yeah, I can probably think of something," he said with a laugh. He thought about it for a moment, and then sighed. "I left my retainer in my cabin on the boat. Why, are my teeth getting crooked?"

"Here, let me see," I said before grabbing his face by the jaw and sticking my index finger in his mouth to trace his top teeth.

He growled at me then jerked his head so that he could bite my extended finger - and he bit it hard.

"Ouch!" I screamed. "What was that for?"

"Me?" he said with a laugh. "Whatever happened to personal space and boundaries?"

_Thank god he mentioned that_; I was starting to think he was oblivious.

"I think you gave up your rights to personal space when you threw me into the ocean."

"I didn't throw you into the ocean. It's not my fault you can't keep your balance."

"It _is_ your fault; you started it by saying you'd cheat on me," I argued teasingly.

"You're right, I apologize. But there's going to be a lot of wenches disappointed in my monogamy."

I tried to think of a witty comeback, but suddenly I noticed the shape of his lips. They were absolutely perfect, like the kind of lips that belonged on a GQ model, and I wondered why I never noticed them before.

"Have you ever kissed anyone?" I asked, shocking both of us. _How the hell did I allow that thought to escape_?

He got uncomfortable and shifted his weight away from me. "Like…other than my mom and my great aunt Maggie?"

"Like, really kissed someone….In a romantic way," I clarified.

His discomfort doubled. "No. I've never been the type of guy that girls wanted to kiss. Why?"

_Because I want to kiss you – _Whoa, I really didn't expect that thought. "Are you worried that we may never leave here and you won't get a chance?"

He was still for a moment, then he shook his head slowly. "I guess I haven't really thought about it."

"I'm a virgin," I blurted out - _I really needed therapy_.

He looked at me surprised. "I thought you were with that Jacob guy?"

"Yeah, but we never…." I said while rolling my hand suggestively, not wanting to say the actual word.

"What about Mike?"

I shook my head no.

He didn't seem to know how to respond to that. We were silent and that old tension between us came back full force, except this time it was buzzing.

Suddenly he sighed. "I guess I was right before," he said quietly. "You just need to be more handy."

And with that, the tension was gone and we both busted out laughing. We laughed so hard that I clung onto him for support, but that move made me become far too aware of the way our scantily clad bodies were pushed against each other. I lost all control and logic and found myself pressing my lips to his…which resulted in him freezing. It felt like kissing a statue, so I slowly pulled back and turned away out of sheer embarrassment.

He didn't want me to kiss him - that much was obvious. "Sorry," I mumbled…and then I started rambling. "I just thought it would be good to, you know, kiss you….just in case we never leave, you won't have to say you've never kissed anyone. Because everyone should know what it's like to kiss someone. People always worry about their first kiss, and once they do it they realize it's really not that big of a deal. So I just wanted to…."

Without warning, he shut me up by planting his lips to mine in one of the most surrealistic moments of my life. _Edward Cullen just kissed me._ He pulled away for a second, and then our mouths crashed back together and we were kissing like our lives depended on it…and it was absolutely amazing. If I didn't already know that it was his first kiss then I wouldn't have been able to tell, because he seemed to know exactly what he was doing.

His tongue traced my lower lip seeking an entrance into my mouth, which I eagerly allowed and greeted with mine. The fire burning between us was so hot that I honestly wondered how we weren't combusting, but I wanted more.

Careful not to break my mouth from his, I pulled him down on top of me, practically begging with my body for him to move closer, to kiss me even harder -which he definitely did. His hand traced up my leg and continued over my shorts and right up my bare abdomen. _God, I wanted him so badly. _I wanted him more than I ever wanted anything or anyone, and nothing else mattered.

But when his hand reached the bottom of my bra he paused. I assumed he was waiting for permission to touch me there so I arched my chest towards him as an invitation….except he didn't.

Instead, he pulled away completely before quickly standing and looking out over the water.

"What's wrong?" I asked, seriously hoping he was just trying to think of a better place for us to resume.

"The tide's coming in," he replied evenly.

"We can just move further up the beach….or we can go back to the cave," I said while standing and grabbing his hand.

But when he pulled his hand out of mine, I knew he had no plans on picking up where we left off.

"You know, it's getting late, I better go fish before it starts to get dark. Can you build the fire?"

"Sure," I said, feeling way too bewildered to say anything else.

_What the hell happened? _

Were we moving too fast? Did he get a hard on and worry how I'd react? Maybe he really did just want to fish and then we'd continue afterwards – but what if he didn't? What if he didn't want me at all and had just gotten lost in the moment? I had promised myself that I would go along with whatever he wanted from then on, but what was I supposed to do with all my desires for him if he truly wanted to keep our relationship platonic?

Once again, I was so confused.


	9. Poison

A/N: A word to the wise, take a deep breath before reading this chapter ;)

* * *

Chapter 9 – Poison

Edward didn't want to be with me.

I could accept that, I _had_ to accept that.

There really wasn't a choice in the matter since it took two to be in a relationship and he obviously had no intention of kissing me again. He went on with our normal routine as if nothing happened, and even though it was hard for me to do, I went along with it. I made a promise to myself, and for once I had to keep it. Besides, the only other option was to get upset and storm off alone again, and I definitely wasn't willing to do that.

The problem was, it was extremely difficult to ignore my feelings for him. I wasn't exactly sure the extent of my emotions but I did know that it went far beyond purely physical, so I supposed it would have to be enough to just be near him as a friend opposed to not being with him at all.

We never spoke about it, which I was surprisingly grateful for. I didn't think I could handle him telling me out loud the real reason why he didn't care for me in that way, although I was afraid I already knew. He was still in love with Tanya – he had to be, because I knew for a fact it had nothing to do with the horrible way I treated him before. Edward didn't hold grudges; he wasn't like that, so the only thing that really made sense was that he was still expecting to get rescued and then he planned to pursue Tanya once again.

The thought made my heart clinch.

If we did get rescued, I wasn't sure I could stand the sight of seeing them together, and of course she would go for him now that he was sexy as hell – she was even shallower than I was. But she would never truly understand him the way I did. She'd never appreciate his quirky habits or his charming awkwardness. She'd probably screw around with him and then talk crap behind his back afterwards. She was going to trample on his heart and kill everything inside him that truly makes him amazing until there's nothing left except an empty shell. It was only a matter of time until she broke him down and turned him into another brainless moron like all the other guys she usually dated. I was sure of it, and I was getting pissed just thinking about it.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked me suddenly.

"Nothing, why?" I asked, completely forgetting what we had been talking about.

"You just look….upset."

I forced out a smile and shook my head.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, of course." – _Of course I was upset_. My heart ached every time he looked at me indifferently, but I was too much of a coward to tell him that. We couldn't have another big blowout; I needed him too much for that and it was a need that far exceeded basic surviving. My soul needed him in my life – he was the best part of me, and without him I was no better than Tanya. I couldn't go back to that.

"Ok, well I'll be back in a little while," he said before running off into the waves to go fish.

I tried to busy myself with anything other than watching him fish out on the reef, because watching him dripping wet with a spear gave me a physical reaction which I was trying so desperately hard to ignore. But when he came back less than ten minutes later, he made it absolutely impossible to ignore him.

"What the hell is that?" I asked disgusted.

"It's an eel," he said enthusiastically as he held the nasty creature up like it was some prize catch.

"That's nice," I said sarcastically, but I couldn't entirely hold back a slight smile. His zest for life was completely contagious…but that thing was still hideous. "Now get rid of it."

"No way, eels are great eating. I can't believe I actually caught one."

"_Eating?_ You have got to be kidding me."

"You're willing to eat worms, but not eel?" he asked incredulously.

"I ate worms out of desperation. But now that we have fish and fruit, I'm no longer starving."

"Oh come on," he said with his irresistible crooked smile. "We could really use a little more variety."

_How could I say no to him when he looked at me like that? - _"Okay," I said uneasily.

"We just need to make sure to drain _all_ the blood out…. 'cause eel blood is poisonous," he said casually.

I blanched.

He laughed at my stunned expression. "Don't worry about it, I'll handle it."

"Edward, we really shouldn't be messing with poisonous things; we have no way to get help if we screw up."

"I promise you, it'll be fine, I know what I'm doing. Besides, I've had eel before in Japanese restaurants and it's really good. You're going to love it. Do you trust me?"

I sighed. "Yes, I trust you."

"You shouldn't," he said in an unexpectedly serious tone.

"Huh?"

"Bella, I'm joking."

"Oh…yeah, I know," I said with a forced laugh.

He cleaned the eel and told me we could eat it raw, but of course I opted for it being cooked, and he was right, it was actually pretty good. But then again, he seemed to be right about most things so you would think I would stop doubting him.

"Hey, do you want to have a race?" Edward asked after we ate.

I shook my head no.

"Do you want to build another sandcastle?"

"Not really."

"So, what do you want to do?" he asked frustrated.

I shrugged. I didn't really feel like doing anything because I couldn't get my mind off the fact that once we got rescued he'd ditch me for Tanya's scheming ways. It may have been immature of me, but I was upset about even the possibility of it, and I couldn't shake the feeling. I couldn't let her hurt him like that, but how was I supposed to prevent it? If he truly wanted to be with her, then was it wrong for me to stand in their way? Perhaps she could develop real feelings for him if she gave him a chance – I know I did.

I pictured the two of them holding hands and making out; I thought of him kissing her the way he had kissed me….and it literally made me sick.

"I think I'm going to go to the cave to rest for awhile," I told the very adorably bored looking Edward.

"Ok, are you alright?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah, I just have a headache."

"Well, I think I'm going to go for a hike. Will you be ok alone for a few hours?"

I nodded. "I was alone for weeks, I think I can handle a few hours," I said with a half smile.

We went our separate ways for the afternoon, but I couldn't sleep so I decided to head back to the beach to collect more shells and try to clear my mind.

I had to get over my current feelings for him. He had quickly become the most important person in the world to me and I couldn't see that changing even after we were back in civilization, so I couldn't continue to let my pain and confusion come between us. If he chose to be with Tanya when we got back, I had to keep being his friend and supporting him. He'd need me to lean on once she shredded his heart into pieces, and I had to make sure I was always there for him the way he's always been there for me on the island….

_But if we were never rescued, I would never have to worry about it. If we stayed on the island forever, Tanya couldn't get her slimy bitchy hands on him and ruin his spirit._

Like some otherworldly premonition, that was the moment that would affect the rest of our lives. I glanced out towards the ocean, and there, on the horizon, was a boat. It looked to be a large shipping vessel, and if I hurried to light our fire and build it up so it burned high, they could possibly see it and come to our rescue.

But I didn't move.

I tried to convince myself to run down the beach and light the fire. I told myself that my parents were waiting for me at home and I should jump around and scream out to the shipping crew….but I was absolutely frozen.

_What the hell is the matter with you? MOVE!_ – I screamed at myself internally. But nothing worked. For whatever reason, I just couldn't do it and the mere thought of leaving was giving me a panic attack.

As the ship passed by, and the tail end of it was getting smaller in the distance, Edward came charging onto the beach.

"A BOAT!" he yelled. "Bella, there's a boat!" he called out as he ran passed me. He frantically tried to light the fire, but it was too late. By the time the fire was lit the boat was too far away to see it, so Edward got upset and threw his glasses across the sand.

After a few minutes he took a deep breath and then sighed before getting up and turning towards me. "Why didn't you start the fire sooner? Didn't you see the boat?"

But I didn't answer him. I couldn't even speak at that point because I was in such shock from what I just did…or rather didn't do.

What the hell was I thinking?

"Bella? What just happened?"

_I have no idea_ – I thought to myself; but he needed an answer, so I lied. "I didn't see it until it was too late."

"DAMN IT!" he shouted unexpectedly, making me jump. "Sorry, I'm not mad at you, I'm just so…. frustrated. This is all my fault; I should have never left on that stupid hike."

There was no way I was going to just sit there and let him feel guilty about something I did, so I took a deep breath and confessed. "I saw the boat when it was there," I said, pointing to the part of the ocean I first saw it in – the part where they definitely should have been able to see the fire.

Edward scratched his head. "Were you hurt….or sick and couldn't get to the fire pit?"

"No…I'm fine. I don't know why I didn't light it," I said honestly.

"Bella that was our chance to go home. What if another ship doesn't come?" he asked, struggling to contain his anger.

"I guess we're just going to have to make life work here," I said quietly.

"What?" he asked stunned. "You purposely didn't light it? What the hell, Bella? Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? I know you don't like being here so why in world would you choose to ignore the ship?" He was absolutely fuming then, which was something I had never seen from him before - _at least not to that degree. _

"I'm sorry," I said sincerely – and I really was sorry. My insanity was overwhelming me, and I was so incredibly regretful that Edward was stuck there with me and I had forced that upon him by not allowing us to get rescued. I knew it was wrong, but I was completely and uncontrollably fucked up.

"Gah, I can't believe this!" he yelled, and then stormed off towards the jungle. He was livid, and he had every right to be.

I left him alone for the rest of the day so he could calm down, but by that evening he seemed to be over it already…at least that was what he said. "There's no point in staying upset. It's not going to bring the boat back," he told me. "We just have to hope that another one comes."

A tear dripped down my face, though I wasn't exactly sure why, but I quickly wiped it away so he couldn't see it.

Edward didn't hold grudges, except he wasn't the same after that so perhaps he unconsciously held grudges after all. He didn't joke around, he didn't want to play any games, and he hardly left the beach out of fear he'd miss another ship.

_Did I poison his spirit?_ - The thought made me hate myself even more than I already did. I had been so worried about Tanya screwing with him that I screwed the both of us instead, and it was something so much worse than stupid high school relationships. What if there was never another boat? What if I ruined our only chance? The more I thought about it, the surer I became that the boat was the first and last that we would ever see. I was suddenly certain that I got what I had momentarily hoped for….to spend the rest of my life on that stupid island, and I wouldn't blame Edward one bit if he never forgave me.

But I couldn't take it back; I couldn't turn back the clock and light that fire no matter how much I wished I could….and I couldn't help being happy to have more alone time with Edward, even if he was still angry at me. I had the rest of our lives to make it up to him.

Thankfully, it rained most of that week, so Edward grudgingly slept with me in the cave at night. Despite his apparent resentment, we woke up each morning completely wrapped up together. His arms surrounding me and his legs twisted with mine – it was the best part of my day. There was nothing better than sleeping against his bare torso, and I began to wonder how I'd ever sleep without him again once the evening rain finally stopped.

"Don't go," I mumbled one morning when he got up earlier than normal to head to the beach. "Lay here with me a little longer."

"There may be a boat," he said emotionlessly. "That was a cargo ship so it was probably taking a designated route, and if so that means there will be more."

"But we can't just sit around waiting for a boat all day every day. What if another one doesn't come for months?"I asked him gently. I was still convinced a boat would _never _come again, but I just went along with his denial to avoid dampening his mood even more than it already was.

"We can't risk it. There may have been more boats and we just didn't know it."

"Well in that case then more will come. If we miss one, we'll get the next," I argued lightly.

"Bella, what's going on with you? Seriously. You've been acting weird now for a while and then you decide to just not light a signal fire and don't even have an explanation as to why. That's not….normal."

For whatever reason, his comment made me angry. Did he really not know what was going on with me? Really? I found that hard to believe.

"No, what's _not normal_ is kissing someone passionately and then pulling away with no explanation, and then go on to pretend it never happened!" I said heatedly. I never planned on saying anything about that, but I couldn't help it. My brain to mouth filter was long gone at that point.

He stared at me for a moment, and then he exploded. "That's what this is about? You didn't light a signal fire because you were pissed that I kissed you? How the hell does that even make sense?"

"I wasn't pissed that you kissed me," I shouted back. "I was pissed that you stopped!"

"You said you only wanted to kiss me so I didn't have to worry about my first kiss, or some crap like that," he retorted.

"Well, I lied. I wanted to kiss you because I wanted to kiss you," I said, though I wasn't sure how much sense I made. "I want to be with you…more than friends," I told him, letting my voice get quieter as I became increasingly horrified by my admission.

His voice became softer as well. "Bella, we can't go there," he said unexpectedly.

"Why?" I asked so quietly it was only a whisper.

"We just can't. We need to focus on surviving so that when we finally do get rescued we can go back to our lives and forget about all of this.

"But…"

"No, Bella, there's no buts!" he snapped, making me jump from the sudden harshness in his voice. "We can't go there."

I started to breath heavy from the realization that I just messed everything up again. I should have never said anything to him; perhaps we would have been able to return to our previous closeness as friends if I would have just given him more time to cool off from the boat situation. But now that was ruined as well. I told him I wanted to be with him, and he rejected me; it was a blow that neither of us was going to be able to recover from.

"Fine," I said with tears rolling down my cheeks. "You're right, we shouldn't go there." I crawled out of the cave and planned to go find some place to hide, but if course he followed me.

"Bella wait. Don't go running off, let's just talk about this."

But I was still far too stubborn for that. "No, we talked enough, just leave me alone!" I shouted at him, but then I quickly turned back. "Just give me a couple hours," I corrected, not wanting him to think I wanted to separate completely again. He may have broken my heart, but I couldn't live alone again, not entirely at least.

"BELLA STOP!" he shouted with surprising urgency.

"What?" I asked, alarmed by his tone.

"There's a snake right there."

I turned to face the green snake which was hanging from the trees, and then rolled my eyes at his concern. "It's just Sam."

"Bella that is a Boomslang snake. _It's poisonous!"_ he said before grabbing my arm and pulling me back.

"He never hurt me before," I argued while jerking my arm away from him. I just needed to get out of his presence for a little while, why couldn't he just let me go?

"Wait, there's another one," he said, pointing to a second snake on the other side of me.

_Sam was twins?_ – I stupidly thought. Perhaps I never actually befriended a single snake after all. God, I was such an idiot.

The first snake hissed at me, so I shrieked. Edward responded by quickly pulling me behind him, but his bold move turned out to backfire on both of us, because he pushed me right into a third snake….and it bit me.

"Edward!" I shouted. He looked back at me, and when he realized what had happened his entire face distorted into a mix of panic and fear. Without another word he, he scooped me up bridal style and ran us back to the cave. "It burns," I cried. My wrist where I was bitten was on fire, and it hurt so badly that it was hard to focus on anything other than the pain.

"I know," he said full of grief. "Just hang on; don't go to sleep." The desperation in his voice was thick, but all I could think about was how I was going to die and he'd never know how much he truly meant to me. It didn't matter if the feeling wasn't mutual; I wanted him to know just the same.

"Edward," I croaked.

"Shhh, it's ok, it's going to be ok. I'm not going to let you leave me again; do you understand? I'm going to make the pain stop, Bella, I'm going to make it go away," he said, but it was hard to focus on him. The burning was just too intense.

But then he did something I never would have imagined – he brought my wrist up to his mouth and began sucking on the wound. I had no idea what he was doing, but the next thing I knew the burning was receding.

He pulled his lips away from my skin and spit out a mouthful of blood, before replacing them and continuing to suck. He repeated this three more times before the burning was all but extinguished, and I felt myself drifting off into the blackness….

* * *

*****A/N:** _Oh yeah, I went there!_ *this is me hiding my face*LOL

**WARNING**: Trying to suck venom and/or poison out of someone's wound/bite in real life DOES NOT WORK and can potentially be harmful to both people. Please do not attempt this yourself. If you suspect you've been bitten by a poisonous animal/insect, please seek professional emergency help.

(Yes, another seemingly unnecessary warning, but you know there is that ONE person out there that can't understand the difference between fact and FICTION ;-)


	10. Real Life

Chapter 10 – Real Life

I woke up some time later to the soft sweet melody of a lullaby being hummed by the most beautiful voice in the world. And like the last time I heard the same tune, it stopped when he realized I was waking up.

"Edward?" I asked groggily.

"I'm right here," I heard him say as he stroked my hair softly with his hand. _Was my head in his lap?_ It sure felt like it.

I tentatively looked up, only to see him looking back down at me with a warm smile. I was definitely in his lap.

"How long have I been asleep for?" I asked.

"Two days," he said quietly.

"Two days?" I asked surprised. "Have I been laying on you that long?"

He laughed softly. "No. I had to make sure you got water so I've been going back and forth to the lagoon. You haven't been sleeping the entire time, you woke slightly when I got back here a couple hours ago – You moved yourself into this position," he said with a smirk.

"Oh, sorry."

"I don't mind," he said taking me aback.

"I thought you didn't want me anywhere near you," I said while forcing myself to scoot off of him.

"Bella, you're my best friend….well, my _only_ friend. Of course I want to be near you."

"Really?"

"How are you feeling?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Ok. A little tired, but surprisingly fine."

"You lost a lot of blood, but I think all the venom is out of your system."

"Thanks to you," I said graciously.

"Well, I wasn't about to lose you again, especially not like that….But you really had me worried there for awhile."

"How did you know what to do to save me?"

"Boy scouts. Well, my troop leader said it could work in theory, but I think it's only ever been done with rattlesnakes. Then again, I was never allowed to go on the scout camping trips, so maybe there was more information that I missed."

"But couldn't that have made you sick?" I asked worriedly, thinking about the way he sucked my venomous blood into his mouth.

"I didn't swallow any of it."

"But what if you did? Or what if you had a cut in your mouth or something?" I asked in a panic.

"Bella, I'm fine. We're both okay, that's all that matters."

I couldn't believe he would do that. Regardless of the outcome, he had no idea if sucking the venom out like that could hurt him or even kill him, and he did it anyway. He knowingly put himself at risk to save my life, which made me grateful…and so beyond angry.

"Thank you…for saving my life…..But don't ever do something that stupid again!" I scolded him. "I couldn't take it if you died because of me."

"Well, I couldn't just sit by and watch you die either. Besides, it was my fault; I pushed you into the snake."

"Only because you were trying to save me from a different one. If I would have just listened to you and backed away from the snake right away, we probably both would have been fine. Hell, if I would have lit that stupid signal fire we would have been home by now."

"I'm glad you didn't," he whispered, completely flabbergasting me.

"You are?"

"I wanted to leave because that's what we're supposed to do. We're supposed to want to leave. I just kept thinking about my mom and your family…it's not fair to them if we actually choose to stay here."

_Was that why he had pulled away - Because he felt guilty about wanting to stay?_

"But what if we do? What if there's never another ship? I don't want to live every day for the next indefinite amount of time just waiting to be taken back, and I'm not going to beat myself up for being happy either."

"Bella, you don't want to be with me…not really," he said unexpectedly.

I furrowed my brows. "Yes, I do. I told you that I do."

"If we weren't stranded here together, I would be the last person in the world you'd ever want to be with."

I wanted to argue with him, but the truth was that he was right.

"I have to tell you something," I said uncertain if I should tell him what I was about to say or not. But I wanted to be completely honest, so I decided that whichever way he took it, we both needed me to say it. "Once….my friends and I….we played this game where we had to pick who we would only be with if there were no other guys in the world….and I said you."

He laughed once humorlessly. "I'm sure I was all of the girls' picks."

"No….just mine."

"Well, that's exactly my point. You'd never even consider me if we were home."

"But back then I was a shallow, brainless…bitch. I'm so grateful that I got stuck here, because it gave me the chance to get to know you, and you really are the best person I've ever known. I feel things for you that I never even imagined could be real."

"It's not real. Whatever you think you want right now…whatever you think you're feeling, it's only because you're forgetting what real life is like….and when you finally remember it'll be too late. We'll both regret it for the rest of our lives."

"Edward, you're wrong, this _is_ real life. It may be a world away from everything we thought we knew before, but it's what's real _now,_" I told him with conviction. "I've been so confused lately, but the one thing I'm sure about is my feelings for you. I want to be with you, and that's the most real I've ever felt about anything."

"But when another boat comes, or a plane -"

"No one is coming for us," I interrupted him. "That boat isn't coming back and others aren't either. They may not have even seen us from that far away anyway. We're on our own here; I truly feel that, and I've accepted it. It's like we really are the last two people in the world and there's no one I'd rather be alone with for the rest of my life…than you."

We were both quiet for a few tortuously long moments, and then he sighed. "Well, if you're going to be my wife, you'll have to be more handy."

"Ok," I said seriously.

He looked surprised by my response, so he responded by surprising me back. He kissed me - and he kissed me _hard_. The intensity of his kiss took my breath away, but I forced myself to find a new way of breathing because I wasn't going allow him to back down again.

His tongue pushed into my mouth while his hands found their way under my shirt to the base of my bra. Just like the time before, I arched my chest into his hand, begging him to continue, but once again he pulled back. However before I had a chance to protest, his hands moved to the hem of my shirt, and he pulled it over my head.

"I don't want to hurt you," he mumbled against my lips, but his hands were right back at my bra.

"I feel perfect," I said, knowing he was only worried because of the snake bite. "I want you…I want you now."

My breathing spiked as his hands traced my bra around my body so he could unhinge the back. And when he let out a low moan after exposing my breasts, I couldn't help but smile. I'll never understand guy's obsession with boobs.

His lips met the skin on my neck where he began kissing down my body until he reached my sensitive nipples, sending electric waves up and down my spine. God, I never knew anything could feel that good.

He moved back up my torso, and then kissed behind my ear. "I want to be inside of you," he said, no louder than a breath. His words made me squirm as the pulsating between my legs ached with need. Oh yes, I wanted him inside me too. I needed him inside of me.

I reached between us and unbuttoned his shorts, which he helped remove by wiggling out of, and as he was working on my shorts, I grabbed a hold of his hardness and was more than surprised by his size. His height wasn't the only thing that grew since the last time I encountered his erection.

I began stroking him slowly, but he huffed then grabbed my hand to lock it above my head while he finished removing my shorts. Despite his joking, he didn't want me to be _handy_ at the moment, he wanted the real thing and I wanted nothing more than to give it to him.

When there was no clothing left between us, he positioned himself between my legs, and looked me in the eye to make sure I still wanted to continue. But I was far past having the ability to speak at that point, so I answered him by lifting my hips towards him. I was ready to give him all of me, we both were.

I wrapped my arms around his torso as he pushed into me slowly, and the feeling of it was like nothing I had ever experienced. I never realized how utterly empty I was before that moment, but as he filled me completely I couldn't even remember what it was like before him.

I had been expecting pain from losing my virginity, everyone said it would hurt, but that's not what I was feeling. Perhaps my emotions were overriding any discomfort, because the only thing I could think of was the fact that Edward was inside of me. We were connected; perfectly fit together like pieces of a puzzle, which only reaffirmed my belief that we were exactly where we were supposed to be. I was always meant for him, and I had to believe that I would have realized that even if we were never stranded together.

He moved slowly, pumping himself in and out of me in a gentle cadence until I just couldn't take it anymore. It seemed like he just started, but I was so engrossed in the gravity of what was happening that I lost control and I began to quiver around him. He gasped as my pulsating caused him to stiffen before he let out a moan as he convulsed inside of me.

It didn't last long, and yet I couldn't imagine it being more perfect.

We breathed together as we both tried to reclaim our wits, but I was so glad that he remained inside of me while doing so.

He rested his forehead against mine, and looked deeply into my eyes. "Are you ok?" he murmured.

I swallowed hard and then nodded. "Are you?" I whispered.

He grinned widely. "I've never been better….but I think I can _do_ better," he joked lightly.

I giggled knowing he meant how quick it was. "That was probably my fault."

"That was definitely your fault," he teased.

"I still thought we did amazing, so think how good it'll be next time."

"Well, we have all the time in the world to practice," he said playfully, but kept his gentle tone.

"I do love practicing."

He pulled out of me slowly, and then we laid together side by side while silently reflecting on what had just happened. But not having him inside of me strangely felt…strange; almost too empty like I was missing some important part of me, so I turned my head to look at him expectantly. I almost giggled to see him looking at me exactly the same way, so without having to say a word, he was back on me and back inside me.

I held onto him tightly as he slid in and out of me, but unlike the first time, he wasn't gentle….not that I was complaining - His slow, even movements had erupted into fast frenzied pounding that left me wishing he'd go even harder. My hands went from knotted in his hair, to clawing down his perfectly sculpted back while I kept my legs wrapped around his hips for support. Every time he entered me, I'd lift my hips to meet his which only added to the feeling that much more. Before I knew it, there was a tightening in my gut and we were coming undone together once again.

It was pure agonizing bliss.

After he pulled out again, he rolled back over on his back, and I rolled over as well so I could lie across his still panting chest. We were both all sticky with sweat, but neither of us cared; in fact, I think I preferred him that way. His sweat was so sweet that I wished he could remain in that state permanently.

We laid there together in that way for hours, just basking in the glorious afterglow of making love. But eventually my stomach growled so Edward chuckled and pulled on his shorts before leaving to get me something to eat. I didn't want him to go, but he didn't really give me a choice in the matter. He was back a little while later with a plethora of fruit.

"The weather wasn't great for fishing," he said apologetically.

"I wouldn't want you gone that long anyway." I sat up to peel a banana, but Edward didn't eat anything; instead he just sat there and stared at my exposed breasts. "You're allowed to touch them whenever you want - it's not like you have to look at them as much as possible before I put them away," I chided him.

His eyes moved up my body to meet my stare. "I'm not trying to fixate on them, but…" his sentence trailed off as his eyes relocked onto my chest.

I threw my banana peel at him, which knocked him out of his stupor.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"You're such a pervy teenager."

"Yes…yes, I am."

I laughed. "Well, if your new obsession gets in the way of your eating, then I'll just have to put my shirt back on."

"_New_ obsession? It's not new in the slightest, and if you put your shirt back on, I can't be held responsible if it ends up getting ripped off… And we don't want that to happen_…right?"_

"No, we don't… Fine," I said with a sly smile. "I guess I'll just have to do this…" I parted my hair in the back, and then brought both halves forward over my shoulders. Luckily my hair had grown long enough to cover my breasts, which made Edward give me his best sulking face. "Eat." I insisted.

"Okay," he pouted.

I had never seen anyone eat so quickly in my life.

When we were both finished, he pushed my hair back over my shoulder and resumed kissing my entire body.

We spent the next couple days in the same fashion of making love, sleeping naked while tangled up together, and parting only long enough to take care of basic facts of life. We couldn't get enough of each other, but we still found time for the occasional playful banter.

"So…I was honest with you about the whole boat situation…" I said one morning….or afternoon, I wasn't quite sure. We were just coming down from another love session, but something came to mind and I couldn't help voicing it.

He laughed. "Yeah, so?"

"So now you have to be honest with me."

"Okay, about what?"

"I wanna know about the time we were apart."

"Ok?"

"Did you ever…watch me?"

"Watch you?"

"Yeah, you said you would check on me from time to time. Did you ever check on me when I was _naked?_" I asked while biting my lip to suppress my laugh.

"Honestly?"

"Yes."

"Yeah…I saw you naked a couple times."

My smile grew. "Did you like what you saw?"

"Eh," he said with a shrug, so I punched him. "Yes, of course I like the way you look naked. You should be naked all the time."

"Did you ever masturbate while watching me?"

He looked at me stunned by my question, but then he shook his head no.

"Oh, come on. Not even once?"

"Would you mind if I did?"

"No." I said feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I didn't just sit there and masturbate in the shadows while you bathed. I might be pervy, as you called it, but I'm not that sleazily perverted."

"How about afterwards…after you saw me naked and you went back to your camp…did you do it then?"

He tried to conceal it, but he smiled despite himself which was enough of an answer for me - I absolutely loved that he had wacked off with me on his mind before we got together.

"What about that time when you woke up with a hard on?" I asked, probably pressing my luck. "Were you thinking about me then too?"

"Bella, you were prancing around in your bra….what do you think?" He rolled us over so he was back over me, and then he left a trail of kisses down my bare chest. "My obsession with your breasts has been going on for quite some time now. You have no idea how much I wanted to touch you." He pulled his lips away so his hands could caress my breasts as to demonstrate exactly what he meant. My nipples slid between his fingers causing them to harden, and then he pinched them.

"Ouch," I protested playfully.

"I've imagined all kinds of things I wanted to do to you," he said, ignoring my squeal.

"Well, why didn't you ever do anything about it?" I asked with a grin. "Chicks aren't supposed to be the ones to have to make the first move."

But then he got serious. "Bella, I never thought in a million years that you would ever let me do this to you," he said while rubbing his hand down my chest again.

"What about after we kissed?" We had already talked about it a little, but I still felt like there may be some things left to say.

He shook his head. "I honestly thought you were just trying to be… nice. That is what you said."

I kicked myself internally from the memory of it. I was such a moron. "So why did you turn me down when I first told you I wanted to be with you then?"

"Bella, you had been acting irrational…I honestly thought you had developed Island Fever," he said before kissing my forehead. "I didn't want you to regret it after being rescued."

He had thought I was crazy for wanting him? The thought made my heart ache because the truth was the exact opposite – I was crazy for ever not wanting him.

"But we already were rescued," I contradicted him. "Coming here was our rescue. Falling off the Marine Biology boat was the best thing that ever happened to me."

"So…no regrets?" he asked with a smile playing on the corner of his lips.

"No regrets," I replied doubtlessly. I regretted a lot of things in my life, but I knew that wasn't what he was talking about - I would never regret being _with him_. He became my world, and it was so much more full of color than anything I had ever encountered before. Our lives had quickly become pure and honest, and there was nothing and no one back in the other world that I'd miss enough to ever make me want to go back. I could foresee us growing old together on that island, and I knew I'd never regret another moment of it.


	11. Saying Goodbye

Chapter 11 – Saying Goodbye

After spending the afternoon skinny dipping in the lagoon, Edward and I were relaxing on the rocks under the waterfall, when suddenly he sat up and began torturing me.

"What are you doing?" I mumbled as he ran his finger tips slowly down my torso; he had started at my neck, and then trailed his nails ever so lightly between my breasts, down the center of my stomach, and finally towards my pubic region.

"Nothing to concern yourself with, now keep quiet," he said sternly…which made me giggle. I loved it when he got all assertive.

When he reached the _promise land_, as he had previously called it, he didn't make circular motions on my sensitivity like he often did before we made love; instead he seemed to be fixated on something as his fingers caressed every part of my most intimate area. He rubbed and traced my folds, which made my muscles tighten with desire, but then he growled at me.

"Don't come," he warned me gruffly.

"What? Why?" I asked in an almost panic. _Was I missing something?_

"Because, I said not to."

"Edward," I whined. We had already made love a few times that day, but how was I supposed to not come when he was touching me like that? I was about to voice my complaint, but then he slid a finger into my moist entrance and my breath caught making it impossible to speak. _What the hell was he doing? _

He moved his finger all around inside of me, rubbing up and down my inner walls, but when they began to tighten and pulsate, he scolded me. "Don't come!"

"Why?" I managed to cry out, so thankfully he decided to have mercy on me and explain.

"Because I'm studying."

_HUH?_

"I aced Anatomy and Sex Ed, but researching in _the flesh _is so much more enlightening," he said provocatively, making his demand that much more difficult.

"Why can't I come?" I asked desperately.

"Because if you do, I won't be able to understand what's really going on down there. I want to see how everything works _before _an orgasm."

I wanted to roll my eyes at him – only Edward would care _how_ it works – all I cared about was that it did, and felt absolutely amazing. But Edward was Edward, and I would never want to change him….even when he was performing his achingly sexy nerdy stunt.

"Edward, I can't take it anymore!" I screamed out as he continued to torment me with his path of erotic discovery. His hand had to have been completely covered in my wetness by that point, but he didn't seem to notice or care. His assault wasn't going to end until he got whatever it was that he was after.

I tried to hold on…I really did. I wanted nothing more than to help him with his 'studying', but I just couldn't do it for a moment longer, and I erupted feeling like I was bursting from every pore.

Edward must have felt my imminent climax, because in one swift move, his fingers were replaced with his impressive length and he was pounding into me, allowing my orgasm to enhance his sensation.

"That was so mean," I said while panting after he finally finished and pulled out of me.

He chuckled. "I'll make it up to you."

"I think you already did," I huffed.

In the days since first making love, Edward and I had rarely been apart, but we didn't just stay in the cave. We had sex all over the island – on the beach, on the rocks, in the jungle, in the ocean, and my personal favorite, the lagoon. We were like animals and couldn't get enough of each other, but as time went on, we tried to force ourselves to make some kind of 'normal routine'. We had been neglecting our health and not fishing as often as we should, so Edward decided it was important to separate a few times daily to do so; a decision that I wasn't too fond of.

But as more time passed, we found an acceptable balance of making love first thing in the mornings, fishing, forcing ourselves to be dressed and find other things to do, and then make love some more before separating long enough to take care of dinner. We didn't always stick to the routine, but Edward seemed to think it was important to try.

"We can't just have sex all the time. We have to keep being friends too," he had told me, but he was far worse at it than I was. I wanted him all the time, but he had the self control of every other teen boy.

But, eventually it got easier….I guess.

"I brought you something," Edward said enthusiastically with his hands hidden behind his back.

"What?" I asked with a nervous grin. He had just left me on the beach to go fishing, but the fact that he was already back and was that excited, I knew he must have found something…._interesting._ The last time he acted like that he had an eel.

"You're really going to owe me some kind of sexual favor for this," he joked.

I rolled my eyes. "I do whatever you want already; favors aren't necessary."

He thought about it for a moment, and then nodded to himself. "Yeah….but this is still really cool."

"Ok, show me already," I said, getting increasingly more anxious. Edward was my favorite person in the entire world, but that didn't mean I liked everything he liked, and I really wasn't looking forward to whatever he had.

"Just for you," he said with a smile before bringing his hands out from behind his back to show me what it was.

I didn't know whether to run away screaming, or actually be just as excited as he was. In his hands, was a large crab. And it wasn't just another hermit crab like we had seen everywhere; it was a real crab, the kind I use to order in restaurants…and it was ugly. I realized then that crab, shrimp, and lobsters were nothing more than sea insects and I was pretty grossed out by all of them. Of course, then I thought about my previous worm consumption and I decided to get over it.

"Wow, how did you catch it?" I asked.

"I was just heading out to the reef and I saw it there in the shallow water."

"That's great…but how are we going to cook it? Aren't crabs usually boiled?"

His face dropped. "Oh yeah…Well, I guess we're just going to have to roast it over the fire and see how it turns out. At least we always have fish to fall back on."

I smiled at him again. Edward was such an optimist, which was one of the things I loved the most about him. "Ok, let's try it."

I jammed a stick through the crab, which wasn't easy to do, and then I held it over the fire.

"You know, there's something innately sexy about watching you cook," Edward said in his sexiest voice. It was that voice he'd use when he wanted me, and it sent vibrations throughout every inch of my body.

"You know, there's something innately sexy about you hunting for our dinner," I replied. "I've always had a thing for you with your spear."

Edward stepped towards me with that hungry look in his eyes, but I had to stop him before it got too far. "Nope, don't even think about it."

"Why not?" he asked confused.

"Because we're not going to waste this crab, and if we start having sex it'll burn on the fire."

"I can always catch another one," he said unfazed.

I rolled my eyes at him again. He was such a horny teenager.

"Hey, you're the one that made up the 'rules' about not having sex every minute of the day, and we're going to abide by them."

"I was _so_ wrong," he whined and sulked like an unhappy child who just had a toy taken away.

I laughed. _God, he was so cute when he pouted_. How could someone be sexy as hell and still that adorable?

He managed to calm himself down, and when we figured the crab was ready we cracked it open with a rock and tried it….but I think we took it off the fire too soon, cause it was absolutely horrible.

"I should probably go spear some fish," Edward said after we disappointedly discarded the crab.

"Or we can just skip dinner. I'm not really hungry anyway….at least not for food," I said suggestively.

"Oh really? What happened to sticking with the rules and forcing ourselves to eat?"

"We can do that tomorrow. Besides my duties as your wife include being _handy_ just as much as cooking your meals," I joked.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me surprisingly tender. "I couldn't have asked for a better wife."

His words made me melt into a puddle at his feet…metaphorically, that is.

I kissed his chest. "I couldn't have asked for a better husband," I murmured back. We were so cheesy, and I loved every moment of it.

He brought his hands up to cradle my face and kissed me one more time sweetly, before letting his tongue morph it into a desperate fit of passion.

We made love right there on the beach, which wasn't my favorite setting due to the fact that sand ended up in uncomfortable places, but more times than not, we'd just have sex wherever we were when the urge came; we could rarely wait to get back to more desirable locations. But the beach definitely had its perks – like holding each other while we watched the sun set over the water. Though for some reason, I caught a hint of sadness in Edward's eyes that night.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Nothing," he said quickly, but I narrowed my eyes at him so he sighed. We swore to never lie to each other, and we both knew he wasn't being completely honest, so he confessed. "Nothing big. I was just thinking about the way my mom used to say that when the sun sets over the water, it makes a sizzling noise that you could only hear if you're so quiet that even your mind shuts up for awhile….I know it's just a fun story without any logical truth behind it, but I still always tried to do it, and I've never been able to."

"What? Quiet your mind?"

"Yeah. Getting my mind to shut up is something I just can't seem to accomplish."

"Maybe it's got nothing to do with the actual thoughts running through your mind, maybe it's what you're thinking about."

"What do you mean?" he asked confused.

"Well, I bet I can guess what you think about when you see a sun set….Your mom. You miss her, and that's ok."

"How lame does that sound? _I miss my mommy_…it's pathetic."

"It's not pathetic. Your mom has always been a very large presence in your life, and even if she wasn't, it's still ok to miss the people we left behind."

"But I don't want to miss anyone. I hated everything about my life before, and I'm more than happy to leave it all."

I was surprised by his admission, I knew he wasn't the happiest of kids back home, but I never heard him say that he hated his life.

"Did you really hate it, or do you just prefer life here so you think you hated it?" I asked him, unsure if I made sense or not.

But he seemed to understand me, and he sighed. "No, I guess I didn't hate my life when I was living it. But I hate it now looking back on the way it was."

"And you still miss your mom," I told him. "Despite her being overbearing, you still miss her because she is your mom and you know everything she did was out of love. You can miss something, and still not want to go back to it."

He was quiet as he thought about it for awhile, and then he kissed my forehead. "You are way smarter then you give yourself credit for."

"That's not being smart, that's just looking at it from an outside perspective."

"You _are_ smart, and one day you'll realize it," he argued. "And you're absolutely right, I think I do miss her, but I was confused because I always thought that missing someone meant you had to want to be with them. I love my mom, but I don't want to go back."

"I feel the same way about my parents," I told him quietly.

We made love again, shoving even more sand into unwanted places, but after Edward fell asleep for the night, I found myself still thinking about our conversation. We made the decision to not hope to be rescued, but we never dealt with the emotions of what that meant. We were never going to see our families again, and we needed a chance to grieve that loss if we were ever going to be truly happy together on the island.

So I came up with an idea and hoped Edward wouldn't think I was a complete idiot.

The next morning, after breakfast, I took Edward by the hand, and led him to my intended location in the jungle.

"What's up?" he asked confused. I pulled him down to sit next to me, which only confused him even more.

"I found these rocks that write like chalk, and I thought we could write down everything we miss about being home." The rocks didn't work well enough to really write anything substantial, but for my little exercise they would be fine.

He looked at me with a suspicious grin. "Why?"

"Just humor me."

"You're the boss," he replied. "But you have to go first."

"Ok…" I grabbed a piece of tree bark I had collected ahead of time, and then wrote 'Charlie' with the chalk rock thingy. "I miss my dad," I said with a sorrow filled smiled, before setting the bark aside and handing Edward a different one to write on.

"Oh it's my turn now?"

I nodded with my best 'duh' expression.

"Ok," he said with a chuckle. "Um…My mom," he said while writing 'Esme'.

It was my turn again, so I took another piece of bark and wrote 'Renee'.

We each wrote out all our various family member's names, but then we started writing other things that use to be important to us as well.

'The Mall' – I wrote. Edward laughed at that one.

'Marine Biology' – he wrote next.

'My bedroom'

'Books'

'Tampons'

'Chess'

'Cheerleading'

'Computers'

'My cell phone'

'TV'

'Going to the movies'

We continued to write down everything that made us who we were, even the less decent things like 'partying' for me, and then we started to get a little silly with it.

'Pizza' – he wrote.

'Daydreaming about Robert Pattinson' – Edward looked at me disturbed from that one. "What, he's so sexy," I said defensively.

"And in serious need of a tan," he argued.

"There's nothing wrong with being fair skinned. You weren't so dark before coming here."

"Yeah, but you would think a movie star would have enough money to go to a tanning booth or something."

I rolled my eyes at him. "You know, you kind of look like him a bit."

He glared at me. "Please."

"You do," I said, surprised that I never noticed it before.

"Have you ever seen the movie 'Shallow Hal'?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked, confused by the sudden change in topic…or at least I thought it was a change in topic.

"How do you know I'm not still really fat and atrociously ugly? Being stranded with someone can really mess with the mind."

"That's not what happened in that movie. He had a spell on him, or brainwashed or something."

"Yep, that's what it is. This island has brainwashed you. If we were ever taken back and you were able to really compare me to people, I bet you'd feel differently about me."

There were times when Edward was so sure of himself that I was starting to worry about his ego, but every once in awhile he had the confidence of a paper bag. I blamed myself for ever teasing him.

"Edward, you only think that because there are no mirrors here to look at yourself. And for the record, you were _never_ ugly. I think teenagers in group settings like at school, just feed off each other's shallow cruelties. All it takes in one popular person to not like you, and then no one likes you. It's really disgusting."

"Well, it's also true that when you care about someone, an attraction can grow," he said.

Of course he was right, I started having feelings for him before his transformation….but my attraction for him now went beyond emotions. "Nope, you've gotten seriously hot. I'm sure even the morons back at Forks High would agree."

"So, you only want me for my appearance?" he challenged playfully.

"Naturally," I joked back. "Oh, and your adorably annoying Mr. Know It All personality."

"Oh really?" he said before pushing me over and kissing me.

No matter how much I loved having sex with him, it also felt really good to just lay there and make out for awhile. But I refused to allow us to deviate too far from the task at hand. It was something important to me, so eventually we pulled away from each other and continued.

'Dreams of being Prom Queen' – I wrote.

'Dreams of going to Cornell University' - He wrote next.

I already knew my life had been extremely shallow, but seeing our past goals next to each other like that made me even more disappointed with myself than before.

When we were finally finished with writing everything we could possibly think of that we missed from home, Edward looked at me expectantly. "What now?"

"Well, I dug this hole when you were fishing this morning," I told him while moving the big rock I had used to cover the hole. "And we're going to bury it all."

He looked at me with an expression I didn't quite understand, but then he smirked. "Burying who we used to be, huh?"

"Saying _goodbye_ to who we used to be, and then letting it all go," I corrected him.

He nodded. "This is a great idea."

I shrugged. "It's ok to grieve all that we lost by being here…but it's time to move past it."

"You're absolutely right," he said before helping me move all the bark into the hole.

We covered our pile with dirt, and then stood over it for a moment to let it all really sink in. Then we turned towards the beach, and walked away from our past, hand in hand towards our future together. There was absolutely nothing in that hole that was more important to me than my life on the island with Edward, and I knew I'd never regret that feeling…._not even when coping with unexpected bouts of nausea._


	12. Surprises

Chapter 12 – Surprises

"Are you ok?" Edward asked me one morning when he found me vomiting off the rocks into the ocean.

"Yeah, I'm fine… You know, that fruit didn't taste right last night; maybe it was starting to turn, or something. But I'm ok, I feel better already."

"I'm sure you could really use some Pepsid right about now, though," he said with a smirk.

"Nope. I'm fine. I have everything I need right here," I said doubtlessly. "We're bound to get sick every once in awhile, Edward. We just have to deal with it."

And I really was fine; I felt completely normal after that, and decided to go full steam ahead with the exciting plans that I had for that day.

I didn't tell Edward, but before we buried our past selves, I secretly pulled one of his pieces out of the hole. I was working on a surprise for him which meant he couldn't leave that particular part of himself behind, but it was hard to finish when I was rarely alone.

"I think you should go on a hike," I told him that afternoon.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "I know you weren't feeling well, but are you _that_ sick of me already?"

_Like I could actually ever be sick of him_. "No," I said quickly. "But like you said, we should make sure we have time to do things other than have sex all day every day."

"You were sick this morning; I really don't want to leave you."

"I've already told you a hundred times, I'm fine. I feel completely normal…I swear."

"Ok, but why are you trying to get rid of me?" he asked playfully.

"I've just been wanting to work on weaving, and you're so horny that I never have any time." – We said we'd never lie to each other, so I told him something that was true. Technically I did plan on doing some weaving while he was gone.

He chuckled. "Alright. I'll be back in a couple hours." He leaned in and kissed me tenderly before slipping on his shoes and heading inland.

A couple hours wasn't much time, so I had to hurry. I collected dry palm leaves and shredded them into strips. Since they were darker on one side than the other, I'd alternate the strips and weave them in and out of each other making a checkered pattern. Once my 'mat', _as I chose to call it_, was approximately the right size, I brought out my shell collection to sort through and I picked the ones that best matched the various necessary pieces.

When I finally completed the project, I hid it by our fire pit and anxiously awaited Edward's return. It had been a long couple of hours, in fact it was the longest we had been apart since being together, so I was more than ready for him to return, and so glad when he finally did.

"Hey," he murmured as we held each other tightly. On an island where time didn't exist, those few hours may as well have been days.

"I missed you," I mumbled into the crook of his neck. He smelled so incredible, like the earthy mustiness of the jungle mixed with his sweet sweat - I wished I could just bathe in him and live like that forever.

"I missed you too," he cooed back while stroking my hair as he held me. "Are you ok?" he asked suddenly concerned by my emotional welcome.

"Yeah," I said with a smile, but then oddly felt a tear escape down my cheek. _Why the hell was I crying? "_I just really missed you, that's all."

"Okay, well, I'm not going to leave again. Hikes are definitely not thrilling enough for you to miss me _this_ much," he said with a gentle laugh.

I rested my head on his chest for a moment. "No, I'm glad you went, I really have no idea why I'm losing it here."

"You sure you're ok?"

"Of course," I said with a smile, and I really was. "I made you something."

He smiled like a kid at Christmas. "What?"

"Close your eyes," I instructed.

When he did as I told him, I ran to get my project, and carefully brought it back to set it up on the sand in front of him.

"Ok, open," I said eagerly.

He stared at it for a moment in shock before a huge grin crept onto his lips. "You made a chess board?"

_Or mat…but whatever._ "Do you like it?"

"Ah babe, I love it!" he said while kneeling down to get a better look.

That wasn't the first time he ever called me a pet name like 'babe', but I couldn't help but smile widely from hearing it.

"But I left chess behind in the hole of things we miss," he told me.

"Yeah, but I took it out…See?" I said while showing him the piece of bark that read 'chess'. "You don't have to leave it behind after all."

"Did I ever tell you how amazing you are?"

"Maybe, but you can always tell me again," I said playfully.

"You are amazing," he said before pulling me in for a kiss. "Now let's play."

"Ok, but you have to go easy on me, I've never been very good at it."

"By the time I'm done with you, you'll be the second best around," he teased.

"Har har," I joked back. "Don't teach me too well though, I may just surpass you."

"Let's not get carried away," he said with faux seriousness. "We don't want to lie to ourselves."

"We'll see. Give me a decade and I might surprise you," I argued playfully.

"Alright, you have ten years to beat me."

"And what if I do?" I challenged him.

"What do you want?"

"I'm not sure, but I have plenty of time to think about it….Of course, since we have no way of keeping track of time, I might just take twenty years and you'll never know the difference."

"Or I could challenge you in two years, and convince you it's been a decade."

I rolled my eyes at him.

We played a few games…and of course I lost each one, but since he was the best chess player in Forks and I had only ever played my dad a few times, I didn't feel too badly about it.

"Do you ever wonder if the world is still the same out there?" I asked as we sat together while staring out over the ocean.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, like World War 3 could be happening and we'd never know. There could be some massive epidemic or a major natural disaster affecting half the country. We really are pretty lucky to be here, if you think about it."

"There are a lot of good things about being away from civilization….you know, besides the obvious."

"And what's _the obvious_?" I asked with a giggle.

"You know, the fact that you walk around topless all the time. Technically we don't need clothes at all. We could just walk around like cave people."

"We could….except there are a lot of little insects and various creatures that can crawl into _certain holes_ that may end up being a bit problematic."

He thought about it for a moment, and then a disturbed expression crossed his features. "You're worried about a bug crawling up your ass?"

"It could happen," I said defensively. "But if you feel like risking it, I'll be more than happy to watch you constantly running around buck naked."

"Maybe we can both just be topless all the time."

"Yeah, I'm sure you would enjoy that."

"I would, and I do."

"I am not topless _all the time_…just most of the time."

"You're such a heathen."

"Oh, shut up."

He laughed. "What, I'm not the one being distastefully uncivilized here. It's perfectly acceptable for a guy to not wear a shirt."

"There are topless beaches in Europe and it's perfectly acceptable. But, if I'm offending you, I guess I'll just have to go find my shirt and wear it for now on. Including when we have sex."

"You can't wear a shirt when we have sex! That's just….insulting."

"Nope, that's the way you want it…" I said while getting up and walking towards the cave where I left my shirt.

"No, no, no, baby come on, I was just joking."

I giggled at the way he went from kidding around to desperately trying to keep me from covering myself. He was such a guy.

It wasn't like I was _always_ topless. Every once in awhile I'd put my shirt on, but honestly, it was just more comfortable and I loved the way Edward would stare at me lustfully at random moments. I usually tried to keep my hair covering my breasts though, just because I didn't want him to get too use to my boobs being exposed and lose all his desire for them. Familiarity was often the reason why guys got bored of their partners….at least that was what my aunt had told me once.

But thinking about hair gave me an idea. "Do you want me to cut your hair?" I asked him. It was getting pretty long and I knew it bothered him.

He was confused by my sudden change in topic, but then he became curious. "How?"

"Doesn't that Swiss Army knife have a little pair of scissors on it?"

"Yeah, but they're so small it'll take a long time to cut all my hair."

I shrugged. "I don't have anything else to do."

"Ok…if you don't mind. I certainly don't want it getting any longer than it already is."

The scissors would only cut a small amount of hair at a time, but I was able to get it finished a lot quicker than either of us expected. I didn't cut it too short, just enough so it wasn't completely annoying the hell out of him the way he had said it did. But after it was cut, it sort of became this messy, windblown mop on his head that sometimes looked a little too much like a bouffant, though I'd never tell him that. I actually kind of liked it, but I was glad there were no mirrors on the island because I knew he'd hate it…._I wonder how bad I looked at that point._ The lagoon was reflective, but not well enough to really see, which I guess I was glad about – I really didn't want to know how I looked, seeing how I couldn't do much about it.

That night the moon was shinning so brightly that we decided to sleep out on the beach again, which turned out to be a good idea because before Edward even started to stir the next morning, my nausea returned full force. Thankfully, it was gone just as quickly as it came, and I was able to crawl back into Edward's arms without waking him.

But the morning vomiting kept happening, and even though I wasn't trying to hide it from Edward, I didn't tell him either. I always felt ok afterwards, and I knew he'd just be worried if he knew, which I was fairly certain wasn't necessary. I never had a fever or felt sick much throughout the day, so it had to be something minor like my body still adjusting to the food, or something like that. I was fine, I wasn't worried, and I refused to let Edward worry either.

Except, one day, he caught me…

I was rinsing my mouth out with ocean water after throwing up, when I stood and turned back towards the beach and saw Edward right behind me.

"Are you ok?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah, totally. I already feel better," I said dismissively.

"That's what you said last time," he argued worriedly.

"It goes away. My system must be adjusting still, but I'm usually fine by the afternoon."

"_Usually_?" he asked surprised. "Wait, this has been going on this entire time?"

"No," I said quickly. "Just since you saw me the last time," I mumbled.

"Bella, that was like….weeks ago, or something."

"Edward, I'm fine," I tried assuring him, but he didn't believe me.

"Don't give me that crap. If you were fine, this wouldn't be happening for so long. People don't just vomit every morning for no reason."

"It's probably the flu," I said like a moron.

He shook his head. "You can't get the flu when stranded on an island. The virus is passed from person to person and since there are no people, you can't get it here. Besides, the flu doesn't even last that long, and you'd be sick all day, not just in the…._morning_," he said strangely, letting his sentence trail off into a whisper.

"What?" I asked anxiously. He obviously thought of something, but it didn't look as though he was going to tell me, in fact, he had completely stopped frozen. "What is it?"

But he didn't answer – _Was he in shock?_ It was driving me insane, so I tried to think about what he said that would make him act that way. Something about being sick in the mornings…..OH SHIT!

"Wait, you think I'm…." I couldn't even say it. It couldn't be true….except, it could. Of course it could be true, and I was an absolute idiot for not considering it sooner. "Edward," I whispered after a minute. "What are we going to do?"

The statue besides me that use to be Edward, suddenly blinked, and then he exploded into a fit of fury that I never thought he was capable of.

"How the hell could I have been so stupid!" he shouted. "What the fuck was I thinking? I should have known this would happen! Why didn't I know this would happen?"

"Edward, calm down," I said soothingly, but he couldn't hear me. He was too stuck in his haze of self loathing to listen to anything I had to say.

"I aced Sex Ed, for crying out loud, how the hell could I have overlooked this?"

"Edward."

"I've fucking ruined everything! We have to do something, we have to figure out a way off this stupid fucking island," he said in a panicked rush.

First of all, I had never heard Edward cuss like that before; secondly, he was way overreacting.

"Everything is going to be fine," I said in the most confident voice I could muster at that moment.

Edward stopped yelling at himself, and then turned to glare at me. "How is everything going to be fine?" he fumed. "I'm not a doctor Bella, we can't do this. We have to get off this island."

"And how are we going to do that?" I asked incredulously. "If we could leave, we would have done it months ago. Everything is going to be fine. People have been doing this since the beginning of time."

Suddenly it all became perfectly clear, and surprisingly I still wasn't worried. We were going to have a baby. _I had a baby growing inside of me_. Edward's baby. The thought sent a warming glow over every inch of my body.

I clearly remembered some of my friends being worried that they could be pregnant and how horrifying it was, but this was nothing like that. When you're a teenager, there isn't much that's more terrifying than having a baby in high school…but despite my age, I was definitely not having a baby in high school - I'd rather be a world away from a hospital than that. Edward and I weren't kids, not anymore, and I didn't have a doubt that we could handle it.

Edward, on the other hand, would need more convincing.

"Do you know what the mortality rate was before hospitals and doctors came around?" he asked me heatedly. "I'm not a doctor, I can't help you if something goes wrong."

"Nothing will go wrong. I know this seems unbelievable, but I just know everything is going to be fine. We can get through this, just like we got through all the other obstacles we've faced since being here."

"This isn't a snake bite, Bella. I can handle a snake bite. I could probably handle a broken bone or even digesting poisonous plants…I have no idea how to help a baby being born!" And there it was…he said 'baby' out loud, which suddenly made it more real. I think the feeling was mutual – he became quieter after that. "We have to find a way off this island… I can try to make a raft or something."

"Setting out on the ocean would be a lot more hazardous than giving birth on this island without a doctor."

"We can't do this, Bella," he tried reasoning with me softly. "I can't lose you."

"You're not going to lose me….You know, they say the best age to birth a baby is at 15. Physically, girls peak at 15 and have the easiest recoveries. _Although, I could be sixteen by now, I'm not exactly sure how long we've been here_." I was starting to ramble again, but then I looked up at Edward and became seriously worried about him. The level of stress on his features made him look years older than he was.

"Things go wrong with deliveries all the time. That's why C-Sections are so high now. I can't do that. I wouldn't even know where to start…. I just really don't know how I didn't think about this sooner."

"Would you have really changed anything?" I asked him. "Would you really_ not_ make love to me if you realized this was going to happen?"

"No, I wouldn't have," he snapped at me.

"Oh come on, Edward. We agreed that this is our world now. We decided to make our lives here. I mean, eventually I would have wanted kids; wouldn't you?"

"One day maybe…not now."

"What difference does it make?" I argued.

"We're teenagers."

I rolled my eyes. "Our age means nothing here, and you know that."

"You're right. It doesn't matter here, but the fact that I can't help you if something goes wrong _does_ matter," he said a little more calmly again.

"We knew there were risks to choosing to stay here, this is just one of them."

"But that's the thing, Bella…we're not _choosing_ to be here. We're stranded. We have no way to change our minds."

His words took me aback, and actually hurt. I really thought he was on the same page I was. He said he was happy to build a life there, but now he was taking it back. We didn't technically have a choice to be there seeing how there hadn't been another boat, but I honestly thought there was nothing that would ever change his mind about being happy about it.

We were both in shock about the pregnancy. For whatever reason, we never considered it; our minds never even played with the idea of us having a baby there. It was stupid and reckless, but it didn't change the fact that we had to face it. We were going to be parents, and we were going to do it without any help from anyone.

My heart swelled.

* * *

…

*****A/N:** Yeah, guys, I hear you – How could _Mr. Aced Sex Ed_ NOT think about pregnancy? But I had to add a little 'Blue Lagoon' type ignorance as well as Canon Edward type pregnancy-guilt-meltdown. I justify it as them being so caught up in a world that was nothing like what they knew that they just didn't think about it. They've been so lost on the island that perhaps it's not terribly unlikely that they never even considered it…._Yes…No?_ Oh well, that's what I'm sticking to. LOL


	13. Building a Future

Chapter 13 – _Building a Future_

The days that followed my pregnancy discovery were….tense, to say the least. Edward and I hardly spoke, and it had definitely been the longest we had gone without sex since we first started doing it. I suddenly felt like we were one of those old married couples who, after so many years together, just had nothing left to say…except we had a lot we _needed_ to say, it was just neither of us could think how to start. We obviously weren't going to agree about our course of action, but he wasn't going to let that stop him from doing what he thought was right.

"What are you doing?" I finally asked him after the third day of him cutting wood and making binds without explanation. He would fish, collect fruit, build the fire, basically everything that needed to be done on a daily basis, but when he wasn't busy with any of that, he was doing whatever it was that he was doing and it was driving me insane.

He was sitting on the ground, but didn't look up at me - he just answered mechanically without pausing his work. "I'm making a boat."

_He couldn't be serious_ - I felt my anger boil up inside of me. "I told you, I'm not setting out on a tiny makeshift raft…Especially while pregnant."

But he didn't answer me, he just continued to cut and shred as if I didn't even speak… but I had enough of his silent treatment.

"So, do you hate me now?" I asked him boldly. I didn't really think he hated me, but he was sure acting like it. "All of the crap I said to you, all the bitchy things I did before – none of that made you hate me, but this…" I let my sentence trail off because he finally looked up at me with a horrified expression.

"You think I _hate_ you? How could you think that?" he asked me softly.

I shrugged. "That's what it feels like."

"No, Bella, no; I could _never_ hate you," he said intensely.

"So you're just pissed at me then?"

"No, it's not you….I'm pissed at myself; I just can't believe I did this to you."

_He_ did this to me? - For such a smart guy, he really was capable of making dumb remarks. "Oh, I must have missed the part where you held me down and forced yourself on me," I said condescendingly.

"What?"

"Well, I'm just saying, it takes two to conceive a baby, so if you're mad at yourself then you have to be mad at me too."

"No, I'm not mad at you at all, this is my fault. I should have known better," he said, making me even angrier.

"Why should _you_ have known better when I didn't? Are you just that much smarter than me that I shouldn't be held _just as_ responsible for overlooking it?"

"That's not what I meant," he said frustrated.

"Well, what did you mean then?"

"I…" he was at a loss of words, and then he sighed. "It's my job to protect you…and I failed. I failed with that stupid snake, but this is even worse. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to fix this and I just feel so helpless." His admission was painfully raw, and he seriously looked broken. It was as if he had been using his self-loathing as a crutch, but when I challenged him his cold façade crumbled away to expose all his emotions.

I stepped into his lap before sitting on him and snuggling into his chest. I think we both needed that closeness again. We were each other's lifeline, and the stress of our recent realization had been taxing but we couldn't let it come between us anymore.

He wrapped his arms around me tightly and kissed my hair, and just like that, everything seemed worlds better. Yes, the issue was still there, but being confident in our bond definitely made it easier to handle.

"It's not your job to protect me…it's _our_ job to protect each other," I murmured into his skin. "But we didn't do anything wrong. Having a baby is natural, and I'm not sorry I'm pregnant. This is our world now, and everything is going to be ok. You'll see, everything will be fine."

He squeezed me even tighter, almost as if he was holding onto me for dear life. "Well, it has to be, because I can't lose you."

"You won't," I said confidently. I refused to let something as common as childbirth separate us. I was going to be perfectly fine, and when it was over, we'd be parents and I was beyond ecstatic.

I pulled back just enough to stretch up to kiss his lips, which he readily returned, but the kiss didn't last nearly as long as I would have liked. "I really need to get back to work," he said gently.

I huffed. "I told you, I'm not going out onto the ocean, so you're either going alone or you're wasting your time."

He smiled halfheartedly. "You are so stubborn."

"Yes, I am."

He took a deep breath. "Well, if you refuse to leave then I certainly can't make you."

"Thank you," I said relieved.

He kissed me again, and then gently moved me off of him before returning to his work.

"Why are you still cutting logs and stripping vines if you're not making a boat anymore?" I asked confused.

"Well, if we're going to raise a kid here, we're going to need a better house than a little cave," he said with a smirk.

"You're going to make us a house?" I squealed excitedly. I suppose we should have made a shelter a lot sooner, but with a baby on the way we never had more of a reason to. "Can I help?"

"You can sit here with me and shred vines…but only if you're feeling up to it."

I smiled widely. "Of course I am; I feel great."

I was so excited by the idea of us building a house that I was almost giddy. We weren't just making a temporary shelter; it was going to be a real home that our baby would grow up in. It was a level of motivation that I had never felt before.

"What are you smiling about?" Edward asked me that evening when we finally called it a night.

"Nothing," I said while smiling even bigger. "I'm just really excited. I think our home is going to be incredible."

He smiled back at me, but it didn't reach his eyes… which was ok. I knew I probably wouldn't see that twinkle that I had been so use to again for a while. He was just too worried about the looming birth to really be the same enthusiastic Edward that he was before. Once our baby was born and he saw how we're all ok, I was sure that spark would return in his eyes.

"Hey, come here," I said while pulling him closer to me. He had been so distant the last few days that I just needed to feel connected to him again. I kissed him hungrily, but like before, he pulled away. "Do you not want to be with me anymore?" I asked desperately.

"Having sex is how we got in this situation in the first place," he mumbled.

"Well, it's not like I can get pregnant again," I said jokingly, but he didn't take it as a joke, in fact, it seemed as though once he realized I was right, it unleashed a fit of desperation of his own.

He kissed me passionately, and it didn't take long for him to get both of our shorts off.

"Tell me if I hurt you," he said in a rush. I nodded, so he got himself in position and pushed into me with careful eagerness. Three days without sex was much too long for us, and he was just as fervent for the connection as I was. But neither of us really knew what the rule was for pregnancy sex, so we started out cautious…of course, going so soft and slow was absolutely excruciating.

"Edward, faster," I panted. He reluctantly complied, but then he must have lost control because a few pumps later all his inhibitions were gone as he pounded into me like nothing had changed between us.

We had done different positions when we were feeling frisky and playful, but when we were desperate the way we were that night, we found the standard missionary position was most affective. I held on to him tightly as he continued his frenzied thrusting.

"Are you ok?" he mumbled, short of breath.

"Yeah," I huffed back. I was fine as long as he didn't pull away before we were finished.

It felt like it had been forever since the last time we were connected that way, and like it had been forever, I took note of the amazing way his body felt while pressed against mine. His lips were as soft as the inside of a conch shell, the skin on his back was as smooth as an ocean polished stone, and I knew more than ever that we were right where we belonged. The island was our own world, a small piece of heaven without which I might never know the astonishing way we fit together so perfectly, and I was suddenly overwhelmed by how blessed we truly were.

"Are you in pain?" Edward asked in a panic while freezing inside of me.

"No, I'm perfect," I murmured…at least I was until he stopped.

"Then why are you crying?" he asked gently.

"I'm just really…_happy_," I said honestly.

He smiled his first sincere smile in days, and then he kissed me tenderly before giving back into our passion….

…

We spent the next several days building our house, and when it had four walls and a palm leaf roof, we couldn't help but be proud of ourselves as we marveled at our accomplishment.

"Wow," I said in awe. "I think it's beautiful."

"So far so good," Edward said, a little less thrilled.

"Oh, don't be so blasé. It's incredible."

We built it off the beach a few yards into the jungle, just to ensure the tide wouldn't ruin the foundation, and looking at the tiny cottage in that way, almost seemed as though it had grown from the tress itself. It was absolutely perfect.

Except when we went inside, the back wall fell over and the roof collapsed on top of us.

"Well, that wasn't really planned," Edward said, completely stunned as we stood there in shock.

I couldn't help but laugh. "At least we don't have to start over from the beginning."

Thankfully, the wall was still intact so all we had to do was better secure it. Edward decided it needed to be rooted, so he made a makeshift shovel and spent the next few days digging down as deeply as he could, and buried the bottom of the cottage. Since it was half underground, Edward got it in his head to add a second story which he surprisingly figured out a way to make sturdy.

When the structure was finally complete for the second time, Edward went inside first to make sure it was secure. It was even more beautiful than the first one, and as he jumped around and pushed on the walls to test out the stability, I knew there would be no more issues.

"Ok, I think it's safe," he said proudly. "I still have some interior work left to do, but it's suitable to move into with the exception of one last thing."

"What's that?" I asked with a clueless grin.

He jumped off the second story deck he had built, which wasn't too high considering half the house was underground, and then he ran off into the jungle before reemerging with another wall….the same wall we had used to close off our small cave.

"I figured we should keep this as a symbol of the beginning of our lives here," he said while binding it to the opened door frame. Our first wall was now the door to our future, and I couldn't imagine anything more perfect than that.

And, of course, the tears overtook me as I stood there watching him complete our home. _Damn hormones!_

"What do you think?" he asked when he was finished.

"It's so amazing," I said like a blubbering idiot.

He smiled reassuringly and then wiped my tears with his fingers. "These are tears of joy, right?"

"Of course they are."

"Good, then let me take you inside." He didn't give me time to reply; he just scooped me into his arms and carried me in bridal style.

"Carrying me over the threshold, huh?" I giggled.

"Isn't that what a good husband does?"

"Well, as a good wife, I must be _handy_ around the house and every inch of it needs to be christened."

He nodded with a serious expression. "That's probably a good idea…. Just so we're on the same page, by _christened_, you mean have sex, right?" he asked unsure.

I giggled again. "Yes."

"Ok, that's what I thought. Never really used that expression before, but I figured that's what it meant. It's not like there's any priests here for the real definition of the word." - _There's my geeky innocent Edward that I love so much._

Before we could get around to _christening _the house, we took a few minutes to really look around and think about where everything would go. The entire cottage could probably fit inside my parent's living room, but compared to the cave, it was huge which meant we would have space to have our bed as well as a living room type lounging area.

"So, I figured when the baby is older, it could have the upstairs as its bedroom," Edward told me.

"That's a great idea," I said with a smile. The second floor was more of a loft than a full floor, so when the baby was old enough to climb a ladder, it would make a perfect bedroom – close enough to us, but still give him some space of his own.

Edward used a bunch of palm leaves wrapped together to make a bed for us, which would probably feel dry and itchy under normal circumstances, but from what we were used to in the cave, it was like sleeping on clouds.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked as we settled in our new bed for the night.

"Very," I said with a grin, though I wasn't really in the mood to be comfortable, which he seemed to understand and agree with.

We made love that night and _christened_ our new cottage, but the next morning seemed to mark another new beginning…a new _rounded_ beginning.

"Edward, look," I said when he got back from fishing for breakfast. I didn't have a mirror, but I could feel my new protruding abdomen, which seemed to pop out overnight. I rubbed my hand over my extended stomach to show what I was talking about, which gave him a bittersweet expression. He looked just as in awe of it as I was feeling, and yet it his eyes were clouded with even more anxiety than before.

He gently placed his hand on my tummy. "Can you feel it moving?"

I shook my head. "No. When my cousin had a baby, she didn't feel it move until a while after she started showing."

He took a deep breath. "Wow, this really makes it more…real," he said nervously.

"We're going to be fine," I said reassuringly for the umpteenth time.

"I know…I just wish I had a handbook or something. I've always counted on books for everything, and I just feel so vulnerable without them; like I'm just stumbling through life."

"You've done amazing here so far," I argued.

"Yeah, 'cause it's all been stuff that I've already read about…stuff I'm comfortable with."

"Ok, then let's talk about it so we'll be more prepared. First comes contractions, which are like cramps, then wet stuff comes out…._or does the wet stuff come out first?_ And then I start pushing and you just have to catch the baby when it slides out." – _Seemed pretty simple to me._

"Then what?" he asked unexpectedly.

"Then the baby is here…what else is there?"

"Well, the cord needs to be tied off before its cut, and then the sack will come out."

"Sack?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, the sack that the baby is in until it's born. It'll come out after the baby is born so you'll have to be ready for that as well…."

The more Edward spoke, the more calm he seemed to become from realizing that he knew much more than he had thought…of course I just got more nervous. _I guess I didn't pay all that much attention in those classes_. But it didn't really matter. Regardless of how difficult it was going to be, it would all be worth it once our little miracle is in the world…

* * *

*****A/N: Oh Bella, if only it was that simple - LOL**


	14. Moving Forward

Chapter 14 – Moving Forward

Being in a hospital was strange. I never really had a fear of hospitals per se, but seeing all the buzzing machines and technology that went far beyond my intellect was definitely daunting. _Who was I kidding? I was absolutely terrified. _

In addition to my fears, the artificial lights above were giving me a migraine. How did people think straight under such conditions? _Shouldn't a birth be in a more tranquil setting?_ – I could only imagine how traumatic it would be for a baby to go from a place that was warm and dark to such a cold and blindingly bright room like that.

At seven centimeters dilated, the pain became too much and an anesthesiologist was called in, which only scared me even more.

"Mom, I don't know if I can handle this," I said in a panic.

"Bella, you have to. Just take deep breaths; you'll be fine," Renee said soothingly.

But I didn't feel like I was going to be fine. I felt like I was going to pass out, especially after the doctor came in to administer the pain medication. One look at the needle and I felt like I was going to vomit.

"Bella, breathe," Renee said sharply.

"I'm ok," I tried convincing myself, but the moment the needle poked the skin, everything went black.

….

"Bella," I heard a voice say gently. "Bella, wake up."

"I can't watch it," I whined, refusing to open my eyes.

"What are you talking about?" I forced my eyes open, and was absolutely relieved to see Edward smirking back at me. "Bad dream?" he asked.

I looked around, still slightly dazed, before finally shaking my head clear. I was still inside our island cottage, nowhere near any hospitals.

"No, it wasn't a dream…Well it was, but not really; I was remembering something." I sat up and rubbed my belly while recalling the vivid memory. "My mom thought it would be a good experience if I witnessed my cousin giving birth. I think she wanted to scare me into never wanting to do it," I said with a chuckle.

"But?" he asked, knowing there was definitely a _but_.

"But I only made it to her seventh centimeter because once the anesthesiologist pushed the needle into her spine I fainted and missed the actual birth."

Edward stared at me in shock, and then broke down and started laughing. "Well, you don't have to worry about needles here," he said between his hysterics.

"Good thing," I said seriously.

But then he became serious as well. "Bella, you do realize that the pain of giving birth is going to be a lot worse than being poked by a needle."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Having a fear of needles is a normal thing. Even my cousin said that was the worst part."

"She was probably joking."

"No, I don't think so, she seemed serious."

"And she gave birth while full of pain meds," he pointed out.

I rolled my eyes. "A lot of people pick to have a natural childbirth. I've broken my arm, leg, several fingers, and I've been able to handle the pain of each."

Once again, he looked at me in shock. "Why the hell have you had so many broken bones?"

I shrugged sheepishly. "I went through an awkward phase where I was a little clumsy. It went on from when I was nine to around twelve."

"Being a little clumsy is accidently running into walls, not breaking bones," he argued.

"I wasn't use to the icy conditions of Forks. I lived in Arizona before that, so I never had to deal with it. I'd just run outside and slip on some ice and then…I guess I was more than just _a little_ clumsy," I admitted. "Once I got into dance and cheerleading, I was able to keep better control of myself."

"But you still fell off that boat," he teased.

"Best fall I ever had," I said with a wink.

He shook his head. "You really are something else, do you know that?"

"Unfortunately, I do."

…

As my stomach grew, so did my desire to be more….domestic. I was constantly working on my weaving, and I'd spend every free minute I had trying to make the inside of the cottage absolutely perfect. I even made a bassinette which we hung from the ceiling so it could rock the baby after it was born. Edward had tested it out by putting rocks in it just to be sure it was safe, but we had other problems that we'd need to figure out as well.

"What are we going to do about clothes?"

"Huh?" Edward asked confused. "We have clothes."

"Yeah, but what are we going to put the baby in? I mean, sure he can be naked when he's little, but, you know, when he starts getting bigger he's going to want something to cover himself."

"Oh…yeah, I guess I didn't think about the baby getting older. Yeah, we're going to need something; maybe I should go looking for my shirt and we can try to make something out of that."

"Well, our clothes are eventually going to wear out and rip as well. Maybe we should try to make stuff…Sort of like this blanket," I said while holding up my weaving.

"Seems like it may chafe," he said while scrunching his face.

"I think the more I work it in, the softer it'll get. We'll just have to make it work."

"You're the fashion designer."

I laughed once. "You know, I used to think that may be something I wanted to do…be a designer." I shook my head. "I was such a moron."

"Why do you say that? There's nothing wrong with being a fashion designer," he said encouragingly.

"No, it was stupid. I used to think all that crap was so important, but it's all meaningless now."

"Now…_here_…But it would have been a good profession if we were back home. They make a decent salary."

"Maybe...I just think I'm over all that stuff. In fact, the very thought of it all is irritating."

"Can't really argue with you there."

….

By the time my bulge became a full, rounded belly, I had become a weaving pro and our little home was full of my various blankets and such. They weren't warm blankets or anything, but the smaller I made the dried palm strips and the tighter I was able to weave them together, the more water resistant they became.

"What do you think?" I asked Edward with a proud grin.

He smiled widely. "Is that a diaper?"

I nodded. "I'm making a bunch of them. They're not going to be completely leak proof, but I figured they'd give us enough time to clean the baby up without getting it all over us."

"That's awesome….and they even have little ties on the side," he said while examining it.

"Yeah, I made them from vine fibers; I figured they'd make it easier for quick removal. Plus we have no way of knowing the exact size the baby will be so the ties should make it work for all different sizes."

"See, you're way smarter than I am…I could never think of something like that."

I laughed. "No, I'm sure you'd just have the baby running around naked and peeing and pooping all over the place. We'd constantly be covered in feces."

"You're probably right. But this is great 'cause it solves the clothes issue as well; you'll just have to make bigger diapers as the kid grows."

"Diapers?" I challenged him. "_Kids_ don't wear diapers."

"Diapers, clothes, same difference. It's going to cover their no nos, so it's the same thing."

"No nos?" I said with another laugh.

"You know what I mean," he said with a huff.

"_No nos_, that's cute. Is that what your mom used to call privates?"

"Yeah," he admitted.

"Let me guess, you were always playing with it so your mom would say 'no, no'."

"Whatever, laugh it up. You're a girl so you don't know what it's like. If you had a penis you wouldn't think it was so funny."

"But I do have a penis," I said suggestively before reaching over to grab his crotch over his shorts.

"Hey," he said while blocking my hand. "You can't just take away my manhood and claim my parts as your own."

"But they _are_ my own. As your wife I _own_ you and your parts," I said with mock seriousness.

"You're right," he said after a moment. "I'm at your mercy."

I smiled widely, and then crawled over him, forcing him to lie on his back by doing so. I leaned down and kissed him playfully, but then…..

"Oh my god, feel this," I said excitedly and grabbed his hand to place it on my suddenly animated stomach.

"Whoa, was that?" he asked, at a loss for words.

"Our baby's moving…Do you feel it?"

He nodded, seemingly unable to speak at the moment.

It was a heavily emotional few minutes for both of us, and we just sat together in an out of body daze from the gravity of it. It wasn't that feeling the baby made it more real, but it was definitely just one step closer to becoming parents.

After a night of giggling from every little movement, Edward left early in the morning but was back before I even got out of bed…and he had a surprise for me.

"Ugh. I'm not sure I want what you have," I semi-whined. None of his gifts ever turned out badly, but I still had that moment of dread every time he brought me something new. And since being pregnant, I wasn't sure I could stomach whatever he wanted me to eat.

Except, that morning, he didn't have a new food item…

"Is that a…?"

"I've been working on this for a while now. I had to soak the twine in ocean water, and then dry it for a few days before it would be hard enough to hold its shape," he explained.

"Edward…it's a r-ring," I stuttered.

"Yeah, I figured, you know, we're having a baby and we're basically married anyway…I mean, I know it's sort of a joke, but I thought…"

"I love it," I interrupted his rambling.

His island-made ring was made of dry hardened twine, which had been wrapped intricately around a pearl. He obviously spent a lot of time on it, making it just right so the pearl was secure, and it was honestly the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"It fits," I said while wiping a tear off my cheek as he placed it on my finger.

"Yeah, I measured you while you were sleeping one night. Of course, I had to factor in that drying the twine would make it smaller so I had to make those adjustments." – _God, I loved it when he got all brainy. _

"Thank you," I said emotionally. "Not just for this, which is beautiful, but I've never really thanked you for everything you've done for me. You saved my life…more than once, and you forgave me for being such a bitch when you had no reason to. I'm really afraid of what I would have become without you."

"You would have been absolutely fine," he said while wrapping his arms around me tenderly. "You have always had a good heart, and you would have realized it with or without me."

"No, see you're wrong….My heart only became good because of you."

"When will you ever see yourself clearly?" he said with his crooked smile that I loved so much. He leaned in and kissed me sweetly, before rubbing my belly and humming loud enough for the baby to hear through my skin.

"Mmm, I love when you hum," I murmured.

"Really?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah, you're really good at it. It really calms me too."

"Well, that's good to know – I'll make sure to hum for you when you're huffing through labor pains," he said with a laugh.

"Good, I hope you do," I said sincerely. I was planning to come up with a snarky comeback, but I honestly did love when he hummed and I really thought it may help during that time.

"Then I will," he said softly, catching on to my serious mood. He was looking so intensely into my eyes that I nearly forgot to breathe, and then suddenly I was ravenous.

"I think we need to have sex now," I said seriously.

"Yeah, definitely," he agreed in a husky voice.

Our sex life hadn't faltered since my pregnancy, but my larger stomach did make it a little more difficult so we had to become creative with our positioning.

I climbed onto his lap, and desperately planted my lips to his. We couldn't get our shorts off fast enough, and he was _obviously_ just as ready as I was. He grabbed my bare hips with his hands, and guided me over him before pulling me down on his length.

There was no greater feeling in the world than when he filled me completely in those first few moments each time we made love. It was even better than the orgasm itself, and perhaps had nothing to do with the physicality of sex. It was about fully connecting and the feeling of being complete; as if without him I was missing a limb or a vital organ. It was almost like I stopped breathing every time we were apart, and the moment he was inside me again it was a sharp intake of precious air into my lungs. Having him inside me was a drink in the desert, an umbrella in the rain, or even a pillow to lie on after a tiring day. It was a relief in an odd way, and I wondered if that feeling would ever go away – I hoped it didn't.

After another moment passed, Edward used his grip on my hips to lift me up, and then pull me right back down onto him. I began moving, taking the work onto myself but he could never yield the control completely, which was perfectly fine by me - sex was always the best when we were both able to contribute to the cadence of our motions. But to intensify the feeling even further, he brought his hands inward and began rubbing achingly glorious little circles on my sensitivity with his thumbs.

"Oh Edward," I moaned, though I wasn't sure if the words were intelligible. I could feel it building, the tightening in my stomach that spread through my entire body.

"Bella," he huffed gruffly, and I knew exactly what he wanted; what he _needed_. So I forced myself off of him, and then rolled over onto my side so he could finish by pounding into me from behind. It was something I had almost come to expect since my stomach had gotten in the way of our simpler positions. He didn't always ask me to roll over in that way, but sometimes he just couldn't stay pinned underneath me – the feeling was so intense that he needed to thrust through it.

After our position change, it wasn't long before I couldn't hold on anymore and I erupted into a fit of sizzling warmth that completely devoured me. His grip tightened on my hips as he stiffened with a grunt, and then we both relaxed in a languid pool of afterglow bliss before he finally pulled out of me.

And like always after we had sex, he asked "Are you ok?"

I smiled widely. "Oh yeah."

It was such a silly question because _how could I not be ok after something like that_, but at the same time, I loved hearing it because it was just one more way that he showed how much he cared about me.

He kissed my hair and wrapped his arms around me securely, and we just laid there and spooned for hours. Having nothing to do really had its perks, especially in amazingly lazy times like that.

…

As the months rolled on, our bond and closeness only grew. In fact, we became so close that I honestly couldn't remember what my life was like before him. _Was I even alive before coming to the island?_ I found it hard to believe. I must have been a hallow shell before Edward filled me both physically and emotionally, and I was so grateful for my sudden bout of clumsiness that made me fall off that boat that day. Everything before that moment was a blur, and everything after was the path I needed to take to truly come alive. In a way, I felt like a new born – looking at the world like a new place, just as my baby soon would be. We'd grow up together; the three of us would make our world exactly the way it should be.

"How much longer, do you think?" I asked one evening as we laid in our bed and felt the baby move from inside me.

"I'm not sure. It just keeps getting bigger," he said with a chuckle. "Are you getting tired of it?"

"No, I love having him inside of me, but I am getting a bit…uncomfortable."

He took a deep breath. Edward always seemed to take a deep breath anytime I mentioned the baby being born, and I knew it was because he was still so nervous. But he was staying strong because he knew that was what I needed him to be. He was my strength, and he needed to stay in control for all three of our sakes.

"You know what?" I said, thinking of something. "We haven't picked out a name yet."

"We don't technically need a name for him. I mean, it's not like he's going to school or living in a society where a name is important. We could just call him Baby, and when he gets older we'll call him Kid. _'Hey honey, where's the kid?'- _I think that would work."

I stared at him incredulously.

"Babe, I'm kidding," he said with a laugh.

"Har har," I said, trying to keep my glare but smirking despite myself. "Seriously though, we need to think of a name. We have no idea how much longer until it's born and this is the only thing left we haven't done."

"Ok, so what name do you like?"

"I don't know…Do you have any ideas?"

He shrugged. "How about Alistair? That's cool."

I scrunched my face. "I don't like that."

"Ok, you pick something."

"How about…Garrett?" I suggested.

"Garrett? No way, how could he ever show his face around the island with a name like that? All the birds will make fun of him. 'Garrett the carrot' and stuff like that."

I shook my head at him. "Fine, it's your turn to suggest something."

"Um…how about Benjamin, like you know, after Benjamin Franklin."

I thought about it for a moment. "I actually kind of like Benjamin. We could call him Benny."

"Op, that one's out!" he said quickly.

"Why, you don't like Benny?"

"No way, it sounds like something you would name a pet."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh Edward," I said with a sigh. And then – "That's it! Edward."

"What?" he said confused.

"Edward Jr. and we can call him EJ. AWW, that's so perfect!" - And like a sign, the baby kicked right at that moment. "See? You like that name, don't you EJ?" I asked my stomach while rubbing it.

Edward didn't look too thrilled about naming the baby after him, but by that point I had already fallen in love with the idea so he accepted because he knew just how much I wanted it. He really was the sweetest person in the world.

"Well, we need a girl name too," he said, trying to get off the 'EJ' topic.

I was convinced we were having a boy so a girl's name wasn't really necessary, but just to humor him, I threw out some ideas. "Jane."

"No, that's the name of a doll or something," Edward said. "How about Victoria?"

"Ew, I've always hated that name. I think that since we decided on a meaningful name for a boy, we should do the same for a girl."

"Bella Junior, and we can call her BJ," Edward said mockingly.

"No," I said after pretending to think about it seriously. "BJ isn't a good name for teenagers."

"Not that _that _matters here," Edward said under his breath.

I shook my head again. "Still don't like it. Besides my name is Isabella so that would be IJ and that doesn't sound right."

"Your name is Isabella?" he asked surprised.

"You didn't know that?"

"No…Wow, I guess that sucks of me. I didn't even know your real name."

"Well, I don't know your middle name."

"It's Anthony – Well, Anthony Masen."

"You have two middle names?" I asked confused.

"No, well, kind of. My dad's last name was Masen, but then my grandma remarried when he was little and they both took her husband's name Cullen."

"Oh, so they decided to hyphenate your last name?"

"Well, my dad's name was Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, so I was named after him."

"So…our baby would be the third?" I asked.

Edward nodded.

"Can we still call him EJ if he's not technically a junior?"

"We can do whatever you want," Edward said carelessly.

"Ok, good," I said excited again. But all the talk about his dad gave me an idea. "What's your mom's full name?"

"Esme Elizabeth Cullen. Why?"

"Well, my mom's name is Renee Marie Swan, so maybe we can like, combine their names somehow for a girl's name. _Esme Renee Cullen_."

"Not a fan of my mom's name," Edward said honestly. "I don't think I could ever call my kid Esme."

"Ok, how about Renee Esme Cullen….No, that doesn't sound right either. Hmmm, how about smushing them together….Renesmee. Oh, I like that!"

"Maybe we should just wait and think about it for a while before we decide on anything," Edward said carefully.

"You don't like it?" I asked disappointedly. "Too weird?"

"No, I think Rapunzel is fine, I'm just…"

"It's Renesmee," I corrected him. "Like Renee and Esme combined."

"Oh, that's what I meant. I think its fine; whatever you want is fine. I mean, we can always think of a nick name. Ren, May, Nes."

I stared at him for a minute in disgust. I still liked Renesmee, but if he was going to give our baby a nick name like one of those then there was no way I'd ever want to name her that.

I shook my head at him and figured that deciding on a girl's name wasn't all that important because I was so sure it was going to be a boy.

The days dragged on, and when my walking had turned into waddling, I seriously had enough.

"Come on EJ, don't you want to come out soon?" I'd often asked my stomach.

"Let's just let him come out when he's ready," Edward would reply nervously. I knew he was scared, and truthfully, I was beginning to be as well, but I still couldn't wait. I was uncomfortable and ached all over, not to mention the fact that I didn't even feel like having sex anymore, which was a major blow to me. Edward was fine and supportive about it, but I just wanted to reclaim my body as my own and I honestly missed making love to him.

There were times when I felt like I had been pregnant for far too long, but other times, when the baby was moving around inside of me, I felt so much love that I wanted to keep him inside me forever. But when my water finally did break, I realized just how naïve I had been about the entire thing….


	15. Faces

A/N: Wow, overwhelming _hate_ for the name Renesmee. Well, I do have to say that I planned the baby's name before I even published the first chapter, so I wasn't able to take your opinions into consideration. Sorry…I hope you're not all disappointed - Read on to find out ;)

* * *

Chapter 15 – Faces

"Oh, it's not so bad. See, I told you I could handle it," I said smugly as I breathed through the first few contractions.

"I'm not trying to scare you or anything, but I think you've got a long way to go," Edward replied gently.

"I've got this," I said confidently, except I should have known that Edward was right; Edward was always right. "SHIIIT! That one hurt," I said an hour or so later. The contractions definitely didn't feel like period cramps, they were a whole hell of a lot worse.

Edward's face had gone from scared shitless, to fixed in a determined hard mask - he was focused on the task at hand, and he wasn't going to let his fears get in the way of what needed to be done. He was as prepared as he could possibly be with our limited resources on the island; he had his Swiss Army knife, which he sterilized ahead of time by burning, and he already laid out one of my handmade blankets.

"Why don't you try getting in the water," he suggested after another insanely intense contraction made me scream out a string of profanities.

We decided it would be best to stay by the lagoon while the baby was being born, that way we'd have the water close by when we needed it.

"Do you think that would help?" I asked desperately.

"I don't know, try it."

"Come in with me!" I demanded.

"Ok."

We got into the water but made sure to stay in the shallow area, and thankfully, it actually did help. The pain was still there, but it took the edge off and made it so I could relax between contractions. Edward held me up while I leaned on him for support, but the longer the pain lasted for, the less I was able to keep control of my emotions.

"WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?" I screamed out at him irrationally. I couldn't think straight and my entire body felt like it was being shredded from the inside out.

"Oww, you're breaking my hand," Edward said quietly while I squeezed his hand. But I wasn't sorry about hurting him; if I was hurting, he should be too.

During my pain induced delusions, I was pissed at the entire world. I hated Edward for getting me pregnant, and I wished more than anything that that stupid snake would have just killed me. But those feelings didn't last long, because an even greater feeling consumed me...

"Ok, I think you're just about ready to push him out," Edward said, much more calmly than I ever expected from him. He helped me out of the water to get into a better position for the birth, but the pain just intensified. "When you feel like pushing, go ahead and push."

"No, I can't," I said weakly, feeling completely defeated.

"Bella, you can! You are so much stronger than you think you are. You can do this, you have to."

"I really can't," I cried.

"Think about the baby, do it for him!" Edward said sternly. It was a tone he rarely used, but it was definitely one that demanded compliance, which was exactly what I needed to do at that moment. I needed to do what he was telling me; I had to get a hold of myself and remember why I was going through all that pain. I was bringing our baby into the world, and I couldn't give up or feel sorry for myself. Our baby needed me, and I would not fail him.

"I need to push now," I said, trying to control myself.

"Ok. Bella, look at me," he said quickly. "I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you, ok?"

I nodded. Of course he was there for me, he had been there for me since the very beginning and I knew he always would be. We were a team, and even though I was the one giving birth, I didn't have a doubt that he was going through just as much of emotions as I was. Suddenly a wave of calm came over me, and I was right back to knowing for certain that everything was going to be fine. The pain didn't matter. I could think around it, and I was able to keep focused on what needed to be done.

So I began to push.

The next several pushes were a blur. It could have lasted only seconds, or perhaps hours, and everything seemed to be going in slow motion. I could vaguely see Edward's face when he would talk to me, but the next thing I knew, the pain was gone and Edward was looking down at something in his arms.

"Bella, you did it," he said with a tone I never heard from him before. It was a mix of relief and absolute joy…he may have even been crying, I wasn't sure.

But I was sure that I was crying - I was absolutely bawling as he put the baby in my arms. It was all gooey and screaming bloody murder, and the single most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"Oh, look at him," I said through my tears.

"Bella…it's a girl," Edward said so softly that I almost didn't hear him.

Strangely enough, my first reaction was - "Of course you're a girl." It almost felt as if I always knew she was a girl, and I vaguely wondered why I had been calling her a 'him'. "She's so beautiful."

"Just like her momma," Edward said sweetly.

He began messing with something between my legs, but I wasn't paying attention; I couldn't take my eyes off of her perfect little face… except, for whatever reason, my eyes began to close without my permission and I was suddenly swallowed by the darkness.

Passing out seemed to be a recurring thing with me since being on the island, but this time it was unacceptable. How could I just fall asleep like that?

When I opened my eyes again, Edward was looking down at me full of relief.

"Bella, thank god."

"Sorry, I must have fallen asleep," I said groggily.

"You didn't fall asleep, Bella you lost a lot of blood and fainted."

"Really?" I asked surprised.

"God, I wasn't sure you were ever going to wake up again. I can't believe I almost lost you like that."

"What? No, I'm fine, I feel pretty good actually, just a little tired."

"You've been asleep for hours."

"Oh no! I was holding the baby, did I drop her?" I asked in a panic.

"No, she's fine…Hungry, but absolutely perfect."

"Where is she, I don't hear her?"

"She's sleeping, but if you're feeling up to it, we need to try to feed her." He moved to get the baby, and I couldn't help but watch him. He held her so gently, and yet he looked like he had been doing it for years. Her little body seemed to fit so perfectly in his arms, and the sight of it made me cry again. "Can you hold her? I need to get you a drink," he asked while placing her on my chest.

"I'm not thirsty," I said, though as the words were coming out I realized just how dry my mouth and throat were.

"You won't be able to give her what she needs if you don't get what you need," Edward told me while putting his leaf cup up to my lips.

I drank slowly, but was glad when I was done because I just wanted to memorize my baby's little features. She was still sleeping peacefully, but her little heart shaped lips were set in a pucker and every once in a while she'd suck on her tongue. Her skin was pink, she had the cutest little button nose, and her head was full of dark curls. She was wrapped in one of my blankets, but Edward moved it away so we could be skin to skin, and I was in complete and utter awe of her.

"Edward," I whispered emotionally. "Look what we made."

He smiled adoringly. "She's incredible."

But us talking seemed to have woken her up, because then she started making noises and she actually turned her head towards me as if she knew I was her food source.

"She's hungry," I said nervously. I always thought breastfeeding was odd, but while marooned on an island without bottles we didn't have room for 'odd'. I held her up to my breast and hoped she'd know what to do. Thankfully, her instincts kicked in and she latched right on. "It's working."

"Thank god," Edward whispered. The relief on his face was immeasurable; we survived, all three of us were going to be ok, which was all that mattered. "I had no idea how I was going to feed her if you didn't wake up soon."

"She's clean," I noticed, trying my best to ignore how uncomfortable her nursing was. I really wasn't expecting nursing to be painful, but man, my nipple was already hurting so I decided to move her to the other breast.

"Yeah, I tried to rinse her off in the lagoon a little… She didn't like it very much; I think she may have gotten cold. I felt bad 'cause she ended up crying herself to sleep."

"Aww," I said while stroking her little hand.

"She seems pretty happy now though," he mused. "I guess she just wanted her momma."

"She probably just wanted to eat," I said with a giggle.

"How are you feeling…really?" he asked, suddenly concerned again.

"Haven't you learned by now that I bounce back quickly?"

He snorted. "Yeah, I guess you do."

"Besides, there's no time to be sick or even weak, we have to make sure she gets everything she needs….Including a name."

"I thought you wanted Rap...Reneeezemay," he said, having a hard time remembering the name I made up."

"Renesmee," I said with a laugh. "But no, I changed my mind. It's just too weird."

"Well, we do live on an island, so weird works," he argued feebly. He obviously wasn't trying to convince me to pick that name, but he was being supportive either way.

"No, but I still wish we could think of a way to name her after our moms. I like names that mean something; I mean, I have my mom's middle name so…so…._I really want her to have my middle name_ _too_," I said as it suddenly become clear. "My middle name is Marie like my mom's, so I want her to carry that tradition too."

He nodded. "Ok, her middle name is Marie then, but she still needs a first name."

"What if we kept with the middle name theme and had her first name be your mom's middle name."

"Elizabeth?"

"Yeah. I always liked that name….as long as you don't call her Lizzy. People used to call me Izzy and I hated that."

"Ok, no Lizzy. But you're sure you like Elizabeth?"

I nodded. "Elizabeth Marie….Masen Cullen."

"Or we can go Elizabeth Marie _Swan_ Masen Cullen," he offered.

I shook my head. "I think its long enough as it is. Elizabeth Marie Cullen….Wow, I love it, but it sure is a mouth full."

"What if we just called her…Em," Edward said unexpectedly.

"Em?"

"Yeah, her initials are E M, so Em for short."

"Em…" I looked down at her and I swore she stopped sucking long enough to look up at me, and she almost seemed like she was smiling. "She's definitely an _Em_," I said with a warm fuzzy feeling spreading though out my entire body. Em was just who she was, it wasn't even a choice anymore.

Of course her name would always be Elizabeth Marie Cullen, but by living on the island, I wasn't sure how much we'd ever use her full name. Em was Em, and that's what she'd end up answering to.

…

My blood loss didn't slow me down for long; by the time Em was three days old, I was already feeling close to my old self again. Edward and I had adjusted to parenthood rather easily. Sure, we were up every three hours at night, but Em was an easy going baby and would always go right to sleep after she was fed.

It wasn't like we ever had anywhere we needed to be, so when she slept we slept, and when she was awake we were up and going about our usually daily routine. Edward fished and collected fruit, and I continued to weave whenever Em didn't mind being laid down on one of my blankets. My woven diapers also worked just fine, but Edward and I still had been peed on multiple times, not that either of us really minded. We were just so serenely happy being together as a family that a little pee could never get us down.

As the weeks passed by, Em braided herself so intricately with us that I almost forgot what we ever did before her.

"So…want to go for a walk?" Edward asked me one afternoon.

"Ok," I said with a smile. I picked up Em and held her up on my shoulder, but Edward had a different idea.

"I thought we could use your shirt as a baby sling," he said while ripping it and tying it in a way that Em would be secured against me.

"That's a great idea," I said impressed. "But you just ripped my only shirt."

He shrugged. "You never wear it. Besides, you still have your bra around here somewhere."

"True," I agreed. He helped me into my shoes, and then I curiously looked down at his feet. "What happened to your shoes?"

"Well I had to cut them so my feet would fit. I've grown since being here," he explained. "I did it a while ago, you just now noticed?"

"Yeah, I guess I never paid attention to your feet."

"I would just hike barefoot, but I'm not sure about walking around without protection in the jungle…By the way, maybe you could work on weaving some kind of foot protection of some sort. Em's definitely going to need something when she starts walking."

"Oh, good thinking," I said as we started our walk. "So, what sprouted this?" I asked, in reference to his sudden desire to trek through the jungle.

"Well, I was out fishing on the reef, and I just glanced back at the cliff and saw something interesting. I wanted to check it out but there's no way I'm leaving you two alone."

"What?" I asked, playfully offended. "Why?"

"Every time I leave you…even for a few hours, something always happens to make me regret it."

I was about to dispute his comment, but then I realized he was right. Regardless of his reasoning behind it however, I was happy to be on the walk with him. It felt really good to get away from the cottage and off the beach…though, his little walk was turning into more of a _hike _than I would have liked.

"Edward, where are we going?"

"I think we're almost there. Do you want me to take Em?"

"No, she's fine; the sling really works great, but she is going to get hungry soon and I really don't want to be walking while feeding her."

"We can take a break whenever you want," he said with a heart stopping grin. And that was the moment it happened; looking at his adorable face and achingly sexy body all covered in sweat, my hormones jump started and got me thinking about sex again. God, I wanted him. If we weren't in a jungle with potentially hazardous plants and creatures around, I would just lay Em down and _show_ Edward exactly the way I was feeling.

But he must have misunderstood the look of desire I was giving him, because he suddenly seemed nervous. "Do you want to feed her now, or should we keep going for a while?" he asked uneasily.

"Um…she's still sleeping so we can keep going until she wakes up."

"Ok," he said, and then walked ahead a few feet as if he didn't want me too close to him.

But I wasn't going to put up with any kind of weird behavior or strain between us; we had come way too far for that. "Hey, what's wrong with you?" I asked.

"What? Nothing is wrong with me. Why?"

"You just seem….weird."

"Well, you were giving me that look."

"What look?" I asked innocently, but I couldn't help but smile because I actually knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Oh, you know what look. That look where you don't care where we are or what we're doing 'cause all you want to do is have sex. Yeah, I know that look from you, and it's not going to happen."

I huffed. "I'm not a moron; I know we can't just have sex right here and now. We don't have a safe place to put Em."

"We're not going to have sex when we get back either," he said unexpectedly.

"Why not?" I asked confused. We had messed around a few times since Em was born, but we hadn't had actual intercourse yet and I thought he was just waiting for me to tell him I was feeling up to it. But now he was acting like he never wanted to have sex again, which was seriously upsetting me. _Was he not attracted to me anymore?_ Perhaps watching our daughter being born killed his desire for me, or maybe it was seeing the afterbirth. Whatever the reason, I suddenly felt self-conscious and insecure.

"Bella, Em was just born a few weeks ago…"

"But I feel good; completely back to normal," I tried assuring him. _Was he just worried that it was too soon? – I really hoped that was all it was._

"Even so," he said unexpectedly. "I just don't think it's a good idea."

"Like, not a good idea for a little while longer, or not a good idea _ever_?"

"Ever," he said quietly.

I could feel my eyes prickle and my nose tingle, but I refused to let myself cry. "So, you just…don't want me anymore?" I asked, no louder than a whisper. I rubbed Em's back for moral support.

"What? No," he said quickly. "Bella, of course I want you. I want you so freaking bad all the time that it drives me insane. Trust me; I have had a hard time thinking about anything else. It's not easy going from having sex all the time to…not, but we have to be rational about this."

"Rational?" I asked confused. I mean, I was relieved that he still wanted me, but I just didn't understand why he thought we couldn't.

"We don't have any form of birth control here. We can't just keep having kids."

I thought about it for a minute, and then asked "Why not?"

"Bella, jeeze, would you listen to yourself!" he whisper-yelled, trying not to wake Em. "Have you already forgotten how much pain you were in, or the fact that you almost bled to death."

"I'm fine…I was fine," I tried calming him.

He huffed, and then spun around himself completely exasperated before turning back to me and running his hands through his overgrown hair.

"Almost time for another haircut," I said casually, changing the subject.

But Edward wasn't done with our conversation just yet. "Bella, I want to have sex with you; God knows that I do, but we can't….I can't put you through that again."

"But we can't just spend the rest of our lives here and never have sex again," I said incredulously.

"We can do other things," he tried reasoning. "How about…we can have sex when you're on your period."

"That's gross," I said frustrated. "And I love being spontaneous; that's one of the best parts of being alone on this island."

"Well, we're not alone on this island anymore," he pointed out. "Come on, do you really think we can just have sex when ever and where ever still? We have a baby now, who's going to be a kid soon so we can't just have sex any time we want."

"Maybe we can't be completely spontaneous, but not having sex at all…_or just period sex_, is out of the question. We want to be together and we're young, so there's no reason to be abstinent….but we can be careful, if you want. You can pull out or we can try to keep track of my cycles and just not have sex when we think I'm ovulating."

"It's not a sure thing," he said mechanically.

"No, but it's better than nothing. And if I get pregnant again, then we'll be fine again."

"I can't lose you. We've taken too many risks already."

"And we've always ended up ok. As long as we stay together, everything will be fine," I said gently. "Besides, wasn't there something about breastfeeding being a natural birth control?"

He thought about it. "I'm not sure…but I guess that would make sense on a hormone level."

"There, see?" I said with a smile. "We don't have to worry about it for awhile, and when she's done nursing we'll figure out the cycle timing thing." I reached up on my toes to kiss him, which he responded by kissing me passionately back…but then, of course, Em chose that moment to wake up and want to eat.

"Ok, baby," I said with a giggle.

Edward didn't make any promises, but I was pretty certain that I had put forth a good enough argument and he'd cave. _The thought made me giddy with anticipation_.

When I was done feeding Em, we strapped her back to me and continued with our hike.

"We've got to be almost there. I saw the thing from the reef," Edward told me.

"What is it exactly we're looking for again?" I asked, though at that point I really didn't care. I was just eager to be done with our hike so we could get back to our cottage and I could find even more ways to convince him that our sex life needed to continue…starting with that night.

"I'm not really sure," he said strangely.

We walked a little ways further, and then we finally saw it…

"What. Is. That?" I asked him in shock.

"I really don't know," he said absently.

"DON'T TOUCH IT!" I yelled at him when he reached out towards the thing. Edward didn't even argue, he just pulled his hand back without another word. "Please tell me I'm not really seeing what I think I'm seeing," I said, though I wasn't sure if that was a rhetorical question or not.

"I…I…I'm not sure what we're looking at," he said honestly. "It's a…face."

"But it's just a random rock formation and our minds are playing tricks on us though, right? I mean, weren't you the one who said the island can make us insane?"

Edward scratched his head and then began to walk a circle around the object, but of course I grabbed his arm and followed him - there was no way I was going to let him out of my sight, even if only for a few moments.

The rock formation was about ten feet tall and looked like a giant head complete with eyes, a nose, and even lips. Of course, I was still convinced we were only imagining it.

"It almost looks like a native tribal god statue," Edward said curiously.

"But there's no one else on this island…right?"

"No. I've hiked around the entire thing several times. No one else is here, but they must have been at some time." He shrugged. "Maybe this is some ancient prehistoric place, or something."

"What if people come back here from time to time," I asked nervously.

"We've been here for over a year _at least_. We would have seen them coming and going."

_A year?_

"Have we really only been here a year?" I mused. It felt like much longer.

"Plus or minus," he said while still examining the rock.

"How do you know?"

"Well, how many periods did you have before we realized you were pregnant?"

"Um…three…or four, I don't remember exactly."

"And pregnancies usually last for nine months, so I'm estimating that we've been here for just over a year…plus or minus."

"Huh," I said, slightly bitter -he made telling time sound so simple. "Yeah, I guess I didn't really think about it."

"If people were coming to the island to…worship this, we would have seen them by now. I really think this is just some…old thing that someone made centuries ago and has long since been forgotten."

I nodded. "Ok, well, let's leave it be then," I said, still eager to get back to the cottage to _reconnect_.

He laughed. "Ok, lets go."

* * *

*****A/N:** **My regular readers KNOW I would never name a human baby Renesmee, even Stephenie Meyer herself said Renesmee was a name for a supernatural hybrid and she wouldn't name a real child that, so there you go.**

Anyway, I usually name their daughter Carlie because I like using canon names, but since this is also Blue Lagoon, I thought Em was very fitting because that was the name of Brooke Shields' character in the original movie.  
_-Hope you like it, and if not, well its already written so just deal with it! LOL_

**Spoiler Alert!** – Anyone else sensing more big changes _on the horizon_? :o


	16. Over the Water

Chapter 16 – Over the Water

"Edward, look!" I called to him. I was sitting in the shallows of the lagoon with Em, and I was blowing in her face so she'd hold her breath, before gently submerging her under water.

"You're teaching her how to swim," Edward said amazed.

"Well I told you I used to teach kids how to swim. The babies were always my favorite class."

Edward swam over to us and I showed him what to do, so our little family spent some time playing and splashing in the water.

"She's going to be a better swimmer than both of us combined," Edward said with a huge grin.

"She's going to be better than us at _everything_," I told him. "Island life is all she'll ever know."

And Em _was_ remarkable. It seemed like she was just so tiny and helpless one day, and the next she was smiling, holding herself up, and grabbing at everything. She was naturally curious, and she had an entire island to play on and explore.

"Look Em," Edward said excitedly one morning. He was supposed to be fishing, but he came back dripping wet and without any fish. It seemed his gift giving had spread to her, which I was more than happy about.

"Whoa, what did daddy bring you?" I said in my eager baby voice.

Em had just started babbling, and she definitely liked what he had because she began talking to it. It was a tiny starfish which was very much alive, and when it started moving in Edward's hand, Em's chocolate brown eyes widened making us both laugh.

"Is she scared?" I asked after a minute.

"Nah, I think she just wasn't expecting it to move and it surprised her," Edward replied. "Do you like it, Em?" he asked her sweetly.

But then suddenly Em grabbed the starfish from Edward, and brought it right to her mouth.

"No!" Edward and I shouted said at the same time. Em looked at us shocked by our outburst, and her entire face dropped before she started wailing.

"Oh, baby we didn't mean to yell at you," I said gently, trying to calm her down.

Edward threw the starfish into the waves, and then looked at me sheepishly. "I didn't think she'd try to eat it," he whispered apologetically.

I smiled and shook my head at him.

I didn't think she'd try to eat it either, but we both should have assumed that she would because she had been trying to eat everything lately. She still wanted to nurse, but it seemed whenever Edward and I were eating anything, she'd try to grab it out of our hands and to put it into her own mouth. She was close to crawling, so Edward and I were getting worried about her being mobile and eating things she shouldn't. As of then, we had to pull rocks, shells, leaves, sticks, sand, and even my hair out of her mouth, and I had a feeling it was only going to get worse.

But taking the starfish from her had upset her more than she had been in a while, and my gentle back rub and cooing wasn't calming her, so that meant it was daddy's turn.

Edward took her from me and held her close while humming my favorite tune into her ear, which made me practically melt right then and there. There was little in life that I loved more than watching Edward with our daughter. He was a natural, and I was so grateful that Em was lucky enough to have him as a father. And of course she calmed immediately - _how could she not while being held and hummed to like that._

When he was confident that she was in a better mood, he brought her over to the waves and pointed out birds flying over the water. Em _loved_ birds, and we loved pointing them out to her.

Later on that evening, after we put her into her _daddy-made_ crib for the night, Edward and I snuggled into our bed together and just enjoyed the peace for a few minutes.

"You know, she's not going to want to nurse much longer," Edward said after a while.

"That's fine by me," I replied casually. "Fish and fruit are soft enough for her anyway, she'll be fine."

"Yeah, but no more nursing means no more natural birth control," he said suggestively.

"Oh."

Our sex life had come back full force after we talked about it on that hike, and it seemed like it was all going as planned, but he was right, we'd need a different plan when Em was done nursing. She was already slowing down, so I was worried my body might get confused and start wanting to make babies again.

I bit my bottom lip. "Maybe you should try pulling out?" I suggested, but I really hated that idea. It would mean we'd never be able to fully let go and enjoy ourselves properly if he was constantly worried about ejaculating inside me. "I think once I start ovulating normally again, we should be able to figure it out. I mean, there's only like, a few days a month that I can get pregnant, right?"

"I guess, but we've never really done a good job of keeping track of the days," he pointed out.

"Hey, didn't they used to use sheep skin as a condom in the olden days? Maybe we can skin a snake or something?"

He looked at me with a goofy expression. "You want me to put a snake skin on my dick while I have sex with you?"

I shrugged.

"Wow, where's that freaked out Bella I knew from before?"

"She got horny," I said straight faced.

But he laughed. "I guess so. But, even if I was willing to do something that disgusting, I doubt it would work. Snake skin is much thinner than sheep skin, and it would probably leak."

"Ok. Well maybe we should rethink the whole 'making a boat' thing," I semi joked. "I mean, if you're not willing to have sex with me anymore, we may as well try to get off this island and back to a place that has birth control."

He laughed. "Oh my Bella, always thinking with your vagina."

"Whatever. I guess you're just going to have to find different places to stick it until we get the Rhythm Method down…or we can just have more babies."

"The Rhythm Method?" he asked surprised. "Wow, something you actually remembered from Sex Ed."

"You know, one day I'm going to get tired of you making fun of me," I joked.

"Then what? You won't speak to me unless you're horny?"

"Maybe."

"Well I guess we'll be speaking all the time then, so it won't be any different then now."

"Hey, jerk," I said playfully before pinching his arm.

"Ow, you really should control your temper; I may have to report you for spousal abuse," he whined.

"Oh really?" I asked while poking his ribs and making him squirm. "Who's going to punish me?"

"I will. I'm not only the mistreated husband, but I'm the law in these here parts as well."

"Ok sheriff, what's my punishment?" I said, giggling in spite of how serious I was trying to sound.

"I may just throw you to the sharks."

I pretended to think about it. "No, you wouldn't do that; you enjoy the abuse too much."

"I do like to be punished," he admitted.

I smiled sadistically before rolling over on top of him and straddling his waist. I pulled down his shorts and then shimmied out of mine before hovering over him. He was already waiting for me, so I took him in my hand and stroked it a few times before positioning myself over him, and sinking down slowly.

His head fell back as he enjoyed the sensation, but I couldn't help looking down between us. I loved the way we looked attached like that, and seeing it just added to my arousal. His hands ran up my thighs towards my hips, and then he gripped on intending to start upward thrusts, but he did say he liked to be punished so I was definitely not going to let him move.

I pushed his hands away and then leaned forward to brace myself on his chest. I smiled down at him, and then began to move. He bucked his hips, but I pushed down against him.

"Punishment, remember," I whispered, knowing how badly he wanted to move.

He grinned, but he didn't speak – _I was fairly certain he couldn't even if he wanted to_.

I moved on him slowly, then faster, then slower again. I moved my hips in circles and back and forth, all the while he looked to be in blissful agony. But the erotic expression on his face, mixed with the tense set of his muscles made me lose my focus and I couldn't hold on any longer, so I erupted into a fit of euphoric ecstasy.

My climax had taken every bit of energy I had left for the day so I collapsed down on his chest, not even caring that my hair was sprawled out all over his face.

"You are mean," Edward said with a laugh after a minute.

"Did you come?" I mumbled.

"Oh yeah."

"Then I'm not _that_ mean," I joked.

"Well, I hope you enjoyed it, because you won't be able to be on top when I need to pull out."

"I thought we were doing the Rhythm thing?"

"Oh…right," he said languidly. Neither of us really cared about what tomorrow would bring at the moment, we were just both spent, so we decided to put off further discussion on the matter until later.

…

All too soon, Em did stop nursing and my period returned which meant it was time to be careful. Luckily for us, it wasn't as hard as we thought. Edward would notch off days on a big stick, and at fourteen notches after my period we would resort to other ways of making love that didn't include intercourse. But even more than that, I began to recognize my body's clues as to when I was ovulating, and we were able to navigate the Rhythm Method quiet well. We both understood accidents could happen and we would handle the consequences, but until then we were happy with our success and Edward would even hold little celebrations each time I got my period.

"You are ridiculous," I said with a smile the first time he jumped for joy from me getting my period.

"You know you're just as happy," he said excitedly. Em didn't understand what was happening, but she laughed at daddy and bounced along with him.

We had experienced so many joys on the island, but I knew I would never forget the day Em took her first solo step.

She had been walking with the help of our fingers, and considering it was usually on sand, she seemed to have pretty good balance, but one day she got excited about something and just let go of Edward's hand. We both just stood there in shock for a moment, and then we started cheering which made Em realize what she was doing and she ended up falling over.

But it didn't matter, she still walked, so we scooped her up and paraded around the beach while celebrating. It was an amazing thing, and I was so glad we both got to witness it.

That night we stayed out late and watched the moon beams dance over the water. We usually tried to get Em to bed when it was dark, but it was a special night so we made an exception.

"Cold?" Edward asked me after I abruptly shivered.

"No, I just got the willies all of a sudden."

"Are you feeling ok?" he asked concerned. "Are you pregnant?"

"No," I said with a laugh. He always asked me that every time I felt the tiniest bit off. "I just had my period, remember?"

"Oh, right."

"I don't know what it is, I just feel…weird. Like something's about to happen."

"Hey, as long as it's not another pregnancy…or snake bite, or ingestion of something poisonous….or broken bones, or deep lacerations, or tooth problems…I think we'll be able to handle it."

I giggled. "Yeah, we'll be able to handle anything," I said while grabbing his hand and weaving his fingers with mine….except I didn't feel very confident in that moment. I just had an eerie feeling that seemed to follow me around for the next couple days.

Em quickly became a walking pro, but I couldn't be completely happy with my uneasy feeling.

And then it happened.

"Mama," Em said excitedly. Em couldn't talk much, but her babbling 'ma ma mas' had quickly turned into mama, which I was over the moon about. After that she started saying dada as well, but I got bragging rights since mama was first.

"What is it baby?" I asked with a smile. I smiled every time I heard her call me mama.

"Mama," she said again, and pointed out to the ocean.

I turned around to look over the water, and there on the horizon, was a boat. It wasn't a large shipping vessel like before, but it was definitely a boat…much like the one I had fallen off of.

I immediately started breathing heavy as I considered what to do.

"Edward," I said quietly. He was up on the beach cleaning his latest catch, but he was too far away to hear me. For a moment, I seriously considered letting the boat pass the way I did last time, but it would be a mistake to not tell Edward, he deserved a chance to help decide what to do. "EDWARD!" I yelled, loud enough that he should be able to hear.

"What?" he called back. But I didn't have to explain, he saw exactly what I was calling him about. He froze while watching it, but then he looked at me and we locked eyes. We spoke volumes in that one look, and we didn't need words to know we were on the same page.

I picked up Em, and then walked over to where Edward was working by the fire pit. He already had a small fire going to cook the fish, but then he smiled at me and bent over to scoop up some sand with a leaf…and poured in on the fire.

With the fire smothered, we went into our cottage and waited for the boat to pass our little island by. Our cottage blended in with the foliage so we weren't worried about it being spotted, but we both knew the gravity of what we just did. Maybe it was stupid of us, but the cottage was our home and the island was our world; we weren't ready to leave it, and I doubted we ever would be.

We didn't talk about it, but we went to bed that night and made love without a care in the world. We had already made the decision to stay, but letting the boat go made it that much more real. We were _choosing_ our family and our way of life, and that was an amazing feeling.

"We missed dinner last night, so I better get out there early," Edward told me the next morning.

"You may want to shave as well, or are you going for the whole 'Castaway' look?" I asked him with a giggle. Usually Edward took care of his facial hair the same way I did with my armpit hair, with his knife, but for whatever reason, he hadn't done it in a few days. Despite my comment, however, I actually did kind of like the stubble. It was very….manly.

"Maybe I will," he said casually before kissing my forehead, and then leaving me to wait for Em to wake up.

But even though it was early, I could never sleep without him so I sat up in bed and stretched before going over to check on Em. She was still lying in her crib, but her eyes were open and she smiled at me the moment she saw me.

"Well, good morning sweetheart," I said with a huge grin. I loved seeing her look so happy in the morning.

"Mama," she said quietly.

I probably should have let her lay there for a bit, but I just wanted to hold her, so I picked her up and hugged her tightly. "Are you hungry?" I asked her. She nodded so I peeled a banana and handed it to her.

"Dada," she said, and I knew she was asking where he was.

"Daddy went to fish,"

"Fish," she repeated me.

"That's right; daddy went to go catch some fish for breakfast. Should we go watch?"

She nodded, so I grabbed her blanket, and we walked outside…and into a world that was nothing like I was expecting….

"Bella, stay there!" Edward shouted at me.

Since being on the island, we had experienced all types of life threatening obstacles, but nothing was more terrifying then what was before me.

A group of men were on our beach….and they had guns…which were pointed right at Edward.

Suddenly the men started shouting in what sounded like Spanish, but I couldn't be sure, and then one of the men walked over to grab my arm.

"Don't touch her!" Edward shouted aggressively at him, but when he moved to come to protect me, the men cocked their guns and screamed at him.

"Edward, please, just stay there!" I said desperately, not wanting him to get shot. I held Em closer to me as the man pulled at my arm, dragging me out to the ocean where a small raft was bobbing in the waves. "Where are we going?" I asked the man, but he obviously didn't speak English so he didn't reply. "EDWARD!" I called back to him anxiously as the man pushed Em and I onto the raft.

"It's ok Bella, just try to keep Em calm!" he called back to me.

But how was I supposed to keep Em calm when I was absolutely terrified myself? _What was happening, where were the men taking us?_ It was extremely frightening, but it was also very surreal. It had been just us on the island for so long that seeing other people was more than a little strange.

For Em's sake, I forced myself to keep it together, but as the man was rowing us towards a bigger boat anchored in the deep water, I couldn't take my eyes off Edward. The men were yelling at him, and he was replying heatedly. And then, without a warning that I could see, one of the men kneed Edward in the gut.

"EDWARD!" I screamed out to him.

But I couldn't do anything but watch from afar, and I felt completely helpless as the small raft took us further and further away.

"What are they doing to him?" I asked the man rowing us, but he still didn't answer. _Why the hell didn't I ever learn Spanish?_

Em must have gotten scared at that point because she called out "Dada!" before starting to cry. She had no way of understanding what was happening; she had never even seen other people before so I knew she had to have been absolutely terrified. She clung onto me for dear life, and hid in my hair as we reached the boat. I couldn't see Edward anymore because we were too far and there were too many men on the beach, so I had no choice but to focus on Em.

The man with us called up to the boat and seemed to be explaining why he had us with him, and the people above spoke back before pulling Em and I inside.

I hadn't felt that confused since first getting on the island, and the fact that no one spoke English just made everything worse.

"Please…uh, por favor" I said to a man who looked like he could be the captain of the boat. "Please, my husband is out there…" I tried saying, but they weren't paying attention to me, they were all just running around like we committed some huge felony or something.

I was handed what looked like a T shirt and shoved into a tiny room, assumedly to get dressed. I didn't even realize until that moment that I wasn't wearing a shirt - not that anyone could have seen anything with Em pressed so tightly to my chest and my long hair covering us both, but still, it seemed to offend them.

I pulled the large sized shirt over my head, which upset Em so I let her crawl under the fabric to keep in contact with my skin where she felt safest. The T shirt actually felt odd because I was so used to not wearing anything, but it also made me feel better because Em was hiding inside it and I could keep her close.

We stayed locked in that tiny room for what felt like an hour before I could feel the boat began to move.

"Oh no," I said to myself. There was a tiny softball sized window hole near the top of the room, so I stood on the single chair and looked out to see our island home disappearing in the distance. "No."

My heart leapt out of my chest.

I had no way of knowing if Edward was on the boat with us or not, and there was no way out of the room. I considered banging on the door, but I worried that would only scare Em even more, so I had no choice but to just sit in the chair and try to rock her to sleep until I got some answers.


	17. Doubt

Chapter 17 – Doubt

I had no idea how long Em and I were locked in that tiny room for, but every second of it was agony. Besides being terrified and scared shitless for Edward, I was exhausted but the room wasn't even big enough for me to lie down in. I moved the chair closer to the wall so I could rest my head, and thankfully Em had fallen asleep and she seemed ok for the moment under my shirt. I just wished Edward was with us. He always knew exactly what to do to calm my nerves - _God, he had to be ok_.

I felt like I had just drifted off when suddenly the boat's loud horn sounded three times, startling both me and Em awake.

"Mama!" Em cried, hiding deeper inside my shirt.

"It's ok, baby," I cooed while rubbing her back. "_I hope_," I added to myself nervously. "Mama is just going to climb up here and look outside, Ok?" I told her as I stood up on the chair. She was still clinging to my chest, but I figured talking to her might help make her feel better. But when I looked outside the tiny window, my stomach nearly jumped into my throat…We were docking in what looked like a busy marina.

_Civilization - _It was absolutely terrifying.

People were moving about the marina in anticipation for the boat's arrival, and I couldn't help but to just stare at them as if they were alien life forms. The language and culture barrier wasn't what was strange to me, it was the people themselves; so clean and clothed…it was just odd. But then I began wondering even more why we had been taken prisoner. They obviously weren't pirates or criminals otherwise they wouldn't dock in suck a public place, but why would they lock us up, and what did they do with Edward?

After a little more time passed, finally the door began to jiggle. "Stay quiet baby," I murmured, hoping to god that she would understand enough to listen. And then the door opened.

"Please sir, can you just tell me where my husband is?" I asked as politely as I was capable of.

He said something that I didn't understand, and once again, he grabbed my arm and led me out of the room.

"Where are you taking us?" I asked feebly, knowing he wouldn't answer. He pulled us through a hall, around a corner, and finally down some stairs to a door that led out to the docks. I couldn't help but squint when the bright sun rays hit my eyes after being kept in that small room for so long, but I couldn't shield my face because one hand was holding Em, and the other was still being held onto by the man.

At the end of the dock was what looked like an officer. "Oh, please help me," I said, desperately hoping the officer spoke English, but of course he didn't.

He took my arm from the other man, the two spoke for a few minutes, and then the officer brought me to his police car.

Regardless of my confusion, I couldn't help but be slightly relieved. The people who forced us off the island were not going to hurt us…at least not Em and me. I squeezed my eyes shut from the violent memory of Edward being kneed in the gut. The thought made me want to vomit.

It had to have been hours since Em ate last so I knew she had to have been hungry, but she was so afraid of what was happening that she never made a sound. She didn't cry, she hardly moved, and I was so worried that she was going to have lasting psychological issues from this event. _When we got back to the island, Edward and I would have to spend extra time trying to make her feel secure again._

When the police car stopped, the officer got us out and brought us into what I assumed was a police station, where we were brought into what looked like an interrogation room.

And then a woman came in. "Do you speak English?" the woman asked me with a heavy accent.

"Yes, thank god some one understands me here," I said relieved. "Please, I have no idea what's going on; why were we taken from our home?"

"Your home?" the woman asked. "We were told you were found on Zafrina."

I shook my head. "I don't know what that is," I said honestly.

"Zafrina is a sacred island protected by the Kachiri."

"Kach…huh?" I asked confused.

"The Kachiri are a native tribe who still practice certain ancient traditions, such as visiting the Zafrina Island once every decade…which happens to have been yesterday. When they went there to perform their ceremony, they saw that people were hiding out on the island, and became very upset so they called in for back up. It is against the law for anyone other than Kachiri to be on that land; they assumed you were criminals running from the law. My job is to see if they assumed right."

_Uh… _"Ma'am, we didn't mean any disrespect or to break any laws. My husband and I were marooned there a while ago, and we were just trying to survive."

The woman narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously. And of course, that was when she noticed the big moving lump under my shirt. "What are you hiding?"

"I'm not hiding anything," I said defensively while cradling Em. "She's just scared." I pulled Em's foot out from under my shirt to prove to the woman that I didn't have anything dangerous.

"You have a child?"

"Yes, ma'am, she was born on the island."

But the woman suddenly became less friendly. She opened the door and shouted to someone in Spanish, which of course, I didn't understand. Without warning, two men came in the room and they definitely didn't look nice. One grabbed my arms, and the other reached under my shirt and pulled Em out, making her scream louder than I had ever heard from her before.

"NO! What are you doing?" I began thrashing around to try to break free from the man's grasp, but he was too strong. "GIVE ME BACK MY BABY!"

But then the man holding me handcuffed my hand to the chair, and the other disappeared out of the room…with my screaming baby in his hands.

"Where is he taking her?" I shouted at the woman.

"Relax, she will not be harmed."

"What's going on?" I asked with a mix of desperation and frustration.

"Sit down, and let us talk a while," she said more calmly, but the man who had handcuffed me stayed in the room and watched me like a hawk.

"I'll do whatever you want, just give me my baby back. She's scared, she's never seen people before. Please, I'm begging you, just give her back to me."

"I'm sorry, we cannot do that."

"WHY?" I cried out.

"Let's start with introductions. My name is Irina Volturi, and you are?"

I huffed but figured I better go along with what she was telling me to if I wanted to get Em back. "Bella Cullen," I said without thinking, but then I realized my error. "No, I'm sorry, my name is Isabella Swan."

Irina narrowed her eyes at me again. "Which is it?"

"Isabella Swan," I said assuredly.

"And your story is that you and your husband was marooned on Zafrina Island…Where your daughter was born?"

"Yes…no, wait, let me think," I said, honestly having a hard time remembering how Edward and I were stranded in the first place. "We're not married. We were on a school trip and I fell off the boat, and Edward saved me on the dingy but we got separated and then drifted at sea a few days before seeing the island."

"How long ago was this?" the woman asked skeptically while writing in a notebook. She obviously didn't believe my story.

"Um…" I tried to think about how old Em was. I knew we were on the island for a year before she was born, but… "I'm not sure…about two years ago, maybe three."

"You managed to stay on an island for that long?" the woman asked in disbelief.

I nodded.

"For two years…maybe three?" she asked condescendingly. "That is quite a difference."

"We weren't very good at keeping track of time," I said irritated.

"Mm-hum," she said while writing more down in her notebook. "And what happened to the dingy?"

"I don't know. We left it in the water when we spotted the island. We lost the ores," I explained, but when the woman _'hum'd'_ again, I got even more upset. "Look, we never meant to do anything wrong, and it's not like we had a choice. We were there just trying to survive. Please, give me my daughter."

"Ms. Swan….if that is even your name. Your so called daughter meets the description of a missing child in an international case from Alaska. I'm sorry, but until your daughter is legally identified, we cannot give her back to you."

"What?" I asked at a loss. "We didn't kidnap her…I gave birth to her."

"Then surely you have her birth certificate and some ID."

_She couldn't be serious_. "No, she was born _on_ the island; I don't have any legal documents for her. Give me a DNA test, please. I'll do whatever it takes; just give me back my baby."

"Fine, we will run the tests, and in the mean time we are contacting the American authorities to try to verify your story. The parents of the missing toddler are also being asked to look at the child's photo to see if she is theirs."

"Fine, they'll tell you she's not!" I said strongly. "Can't you just bring her here until they get back to you? She's scared."

"I'm sorry. Until we determine that she isn't the missing child, we cannot let you have her."

"This is ridiculous. Search the internet, I'm sure you can find something about us being lost at sea a couple years ago. Our families must have been looking for us…Please."

"Like I already said, we are checking out your story. Until then, we'll move you to a more comfortable room."

"I'm fine here, all I care about is my family. Where is my hus…Edward, where is Edward?"

"The man who was found on the island with you has been arrested for assault."

"What?" I shouted. "This is absurd, I saw that man kneeing him."

"He wasn't being cooperative, so he's currently sitting in a cell on the other side of this building."

_At least he was safe._

"Irina, please," I decided to ask one more time as she was walking out the door. She stopped and turned back to me. "Please, just give me my baby back. I'm locked in this room, I can't take her anywhere, so please, can I have her?"

"I am sorry, but no."

Tears fell down my face, but I wasn't crying because I was afraid I'd never see Edward and Em again, I knew without a doubt that it would all get cleared up eventually, but I just couldn't imagine how scared my little girl was at that moment.

"Her name is Em, and she has to be hungry," I said in a rush.

"She's in good hands," Irina assured me, but it didn't make me feel any better. The moment I was left alone in that room, handcuffed to the chair, I started bawling. What kind of mother allows someone to take her child from her? I should have fought harder, I should have figured out a way to convince them I was telling the truth. I failed as a mother - _I failed Em_ – The thought made me cry even harder.

Eventually I was moved to another room, and although I felt completely helpless and utterly worthless, I was grateful I wasn't put into a cell; I only wished Edward was as lucky. The room I was taken to looked like a conference room, with a couch and a small bathroom attached….a _real bathroom_, but not even the idea of toilet paper could excite me. I needed my baby back in my arms, and until that moment, I couldn't be happy about anything.

A person in a lab coat came and swabbed my mouth, assumedly for the DNA test, and then I was brought some food but I couldn't eat. The fact that there was a clock in the room only added to my anxiety. Six hours. It had been six tortuously long hours from the time Em was ripped out of my arms, and I still didn't have any answers.

But then the door opened, and a man walked into the room who looked familiar…but I couldn't quite place him.

"Bella?" he said hesitantly.

And then it came to me; I did know him, but for a moment I was scared. Seeing his face meant nothing would ever be the same again, but after that moment was over I realized he was exactly the person I needed.

"Dad!"

"Oh, Bella, thank god," he said quietly before running to me, and wrapping me in his arms. "I thought I lost you forever."

I couldn't believe it was actually happening. My dad was there, and he was holding me just like I often wished he would after first being stranded. I felt like a little girl again, just waking after a bad dream and my daddy was there to make all my fears go away….Except I wasn't a little girl, I was a mother who needed her baby back, and I was sure in that moment that my dad could get her for me.

"Dad, please, I need you to get my baby," I said desperately. "They took her; I need you to make them give her back. Please dad, can you get her?"

He looked at me with a mix of shock and confusion, but I think he could tell by my tone how serious I was.

"O-o-okay, just…stay here, I'll be right back."

I didn't even consider the fact that he would have no idea that I was a mother until after he had left the room. Em had been such a large part of my life that I honestly didn't remember what it was like before her. My life in Forks, my family, my friends, none of it seemed real anymore; my life on the island was what was real and everything else was just a distant memory or a dream. Except, now my dad was there, and he was going to bring my baby back to me. I didn't have a doubt.

…

**Charlie's POV**

I didn't know how to survive those first few days after they called off the search for Bella. When they found the remains of their dingy with no sign of them, everyone told me she was in a better place and I needed to move on with my life. But she was my only child, my baby, how was I supposed to just forget about her and move on? The answer was that I couldn't, and neither could Esme. The two of us pulled our money together and funded our own search for our missing kids, but after a year passed, our money ran out and there was nowhere left to search, so we had no choice but to go back home and try to piece together our lives again.

But then I got the call that I dreamed of.

"Mr. Swan, this is Irina Volturi with the American Consulate in Puerto Vallarta. We have a young woman here who claims to be Isabella Swan. We've done our research and got your number from the Forks Police Department….." – _Everything she was saying after telling me that my daughter was found was a blur. I didn't care what else she had to say, my daughter was alive, except…._ "Sir, you have to understand that this could just be a false alarm or someone posing as your daughter. We advise you not to get your hopes up, but we do need you to come down here to positively identify the woman."

I didn't hesitate. I understood the risks of getting my hopes up, but if there was the slightest chance that Bella was alive, there was nothing in the world that was going to stop me from getting to her. I got on the next flight, and went straight to the consulate.

"Where's my daughter?" I asked the first person I saw.

"You must be Mr. Swan?" a woman with a thick accent said. "I'm Irina, I believe we spoke over the phone."

"Yes, where is she?" I asked impatiently.

"Sir, like I said over the phone, you'll need to positively identify her. Mrs. Cullen is on her way as well, and was told the same thing."

"Was Edward found also?" I asked, feeling horrible that I didn't stop to think about the boy even once.

"We do have a young man claiming to be Edward Cullen, yes."

"They're both ok, thank god," I said to myself.

"Sir," the woman chided me.

"Yes, identify," I said, just trying to appease her. But my daughter was in that building, I could feel it.

"Her story hasn't been consistent, which leads me to believe she is lying. They were found on Zafrina Island…" Irina explained as she led the way to where my daughter was, but her comment just made me angry so I cut her off.

"Mrs. Cullen and I were told that there was no way they could have washed up on Zafrina, and we were told that a search party looked regardless."

"Sir, I was not here during that time, but from what I was told, they did look there…briefly. They were not allowed to go onto land because it is sacred grounds, but they circled the island with their boats and saw no sign of them. The dingy that the teenagers were supposedly lost on was found in pieces miles away on a completely different island. Our coast guard still doesn't understand how they could have ended up of Zafrina Island…which is another reason why I did not want you to get your hopes up."

"Look, I don't care how they ended up on that island, all I care about is that they're alive…and I don't need to see my daughter to know that she is," I said confidently.

She didn't argue with me anymore because she could tell it was pointless. I would not waver. She finally stopped in front of a door, and then told me - "I'll give you a minute to talk to her. There will be an officer right outside the room."

I opened the door slowly; suddenly nervous and doubting my certainty, and then I took a deep breath and went inside. She looked too skinny and much more tan than I had ever thought possible….but it was definitely her.

_Bella was alive._

She looked frightened at first, almost like she didn't recognize me, but the moment she was in my arms I knew everything was going to be ok.

But then she asked me to find her baby – I wanted to question her, but the look of panic and desperation in her eyes made me want nothing more than to give her whatever she asked. It killed me to leave her alone in that room when I just found her, but I had to stay strong and do what she needed me to do, and at that moment, she needed me to find something for her.

"Excuse me?" I asked Irina. "My daughter is asking for her…_baby?_" I said, hoping they would know what that meant. I honestly thought Bella was referring to something she got attached to on the island, sort of like Tom Hanks in 'Castaway' and his Wilson ball…but I was so very wrong.

"So are you telling us you're sure she is your daughter?"

"Of course she is. Look, I just want to get her home as soon as possible, but she's insisting on getting this baby thing. She said someone took it."

"Look, Mr. Swan, we're still waiting for the couple from Alaska to review the picture of the baby to be sure it's not the one that was kidnapped from there."

"Wait, we're talking about a _real_ baby here?"

"Yes, sir. The child was found with your daughter, but until we prove that she did not kidnap her, we cannot release her back to your daughter."

I was confused, but then I thought about how scared Bella looked and I became angry. "How could she have kidnapped a child from Alaska when she's been marooned on an island off the coast of Mexico?" I asked incredulously.

"Sir, we must."

"No! Where is this child? Bring me to her right away!" I demanded.

"There is proper protocol for these things, we can't…"

"You can. I am the police chief of my town, here is my ID and badge, you can hold me responsible," I said while slamming my wallet on the counter. "Now, bring me to that child!"

The woman stared at me for a moment, and then she sighed. "Right this way, sir."

I followed her down a hall, and then to an open door where four women were surrounding a small toddler.

"Your daughter claims the baby has never seen other people before, but she seems pretty friendly," Irina said as we watched the child interact with the women surrounding her. She was sitting on the table and grabbing at anything the women would hand her, and putting them into her mouth. They were all gushing over her and talking to her in Spanish, but she didn't respond verbally whatsoever. Suddenly, the little girl turned my way and looked me dead in the eye, and I knew. Of course she was Bella's baby; her eyes were an exact copy.

"Mama!" the girl cried to me unexpectedly.

"That's the first sound she's made since we took her from your daughter," Irina commented.

"Mama, mama, mama…" she began chanting while reaching for me. I didn't think, I just reacted. I walked over to her and picked her up like I had a right to, and held her close to me. She made my heart melt when she hugged me tightly like she knew me, but then she looked up at me with a confused expression before grabbing my mustache. "Mama?"

"You want your mama?" I said to her, fighting back my tears.

"Mama," she said again while pulling on my mustache even harder.

I looked at Irina. "I'm taking her to her mother," I insisted. I didn't wait for an answer, I just walked her out of the room and back to where I left Bella. "Excuse me," I said to the officer standing in my way.

Irina said something to him in Spanish, and then he nodded and moved out of the way to let me inside. I opened the door, and Bella looked up at us. The moment she saw the baby in my arms, relief flooded her features.

"Mama!" the little girl cried towards Bella. She practically jumped out of my arms, but she didn't have to because Bella was right there to take her from me. They held each other tightly, and Bella cried softly while whispering something in her ear and rubbing her back.

I didn't understand exactly how that little girl came about, but the details didn't matter right then; all that mattered was that I had my little girl….and she had hers.

…..

**Bella's POV**

"Thank you dad, for bringing her back to me," I said emotionally with tears rolling down my cheeks.

Em was wearing clothes of some sort with what felt like a diaper underneath, _a real diaper_, and she smelled like baby shampoo. Did they give her a bath? Someone definitely combed her hair. All of those simple acts made me mad again because I was sure they would be scary enough for her, but to have them preformed by strangers had to have been traumatic. But at least she was safe and back with me, and I wouldn't let us be separated again. She cuddled into my chest and knotted her hands in my hair to comfort herself. It had been the longest I had ever been away from her, and I was incredibly grateful that Charlie was able to do whatever necessary to reunite us.

"Dada?" Em asked after she felt safe again.

I looked up at Charlie. I could only imagine what he was thinking from all of it, but we would have time for explanations later. If he could bring me Em, maybe he could help Edward as well.

"I'll go see what I can find out," Charlie said, without me even having to ask.

Charlie was a good man and I was lucky to have him as a father, but the only dad I needed at the moment, was Em's…

...

* * *

*****A/N: I strayed from BPOV, sorry, but I thought that little bit was necessary. Won't happen again (I think ;) **


	18. Reunions

Chapter 18 – Reunions

While I was waiting for Charlie to come back with whatever information he could find about Edward, someone came in and brought Em and I some food - jarred baby something, a carton of milk, a water bottle, and a large slice of cheese pizza.

I tried to be strong for Em, I tried to hold it in, but seeing the pizza made me break down and cry hysterically.

Edward had wanted pizza…and I wanted Edward. I was so grateful to have Em back, but from the moment I saw those guns pointed at Edward, my heart stopped beating and I wouldn't be ok until I could wrap my arms around him again.

Em didn't freak out from my sobs; she simply put her little hand on my cheek, which was a gesture that was far beyond her years but I still couldn't stop crying.

I didn't hear the door open, I didn't notice Em's attention shift away from me, and the moment he wrapped his arms around me, I didn't need to look up to know it was him….but of course I looked anyway, because looking at Edward was one of my most favorite things to do.

"Edward," I cried into his chest, inhaling his scent deep into my lungs; it was the sweet familiar comforting scent of sweat and island flora, mixed with the mustiness of what I could only assume was from the cell he was locked in. "Edward you're here; you're really ok," I said while holding onto him with an iron grip.

"Oh Bella, you have no idea how worried I was about you two. When I saw those men pulling you onto that boat….I didn't understand. I thought I lost my girls…" – his voice broke at the end, and I could hear the raw emotions behind his words. I knew how he was feeling, because I had felt it too; that utter hopelessness of not understanding, the feeling of being torn from everything that matters. It was the worst feeling imaginable and I prayed to god that we would never have to experience it again.

My hysterical sorrowful sobs had turned into tears of joy as my family was reunited, and I was sure we were going to be ok. Like all the other obstacles we had faced together, we made it through; just like I was sure we would continue to do thereafter.

"Everything is ok, now," Edward cooed into my ear after a few moments, while rubbing both my and Em's backs. "I'm so sorry I let them get you," he said full of self loathing.

"You didn't do anything wrong," I assured him. "We were outnumbered, they had guns….but, like you said, everything is ok now, we're together."

But he shook his head strangely. "I shouldn't have let them take us off the island," he said through gritted teeth.

I didn't understand why he seemed to be angry in that moment. We were together and safe, he should be just as happy as I was. "It doesn't matter right now, we're all ok," I said again before kissing his shoulder.

"Dada here," Em said suddenly, breaking Edward's sour mood. Her timing was oddly wonderful, almost as if she let us have our moment before she wanted hers.

"Of course daddy's here," he said playfully while taking her from me and hugging her tightly. He then began peppering her face with kisses, making her giggle. "Daddy missed you," he said to her after a minute.

"Mama," she said, pointing back at me.

"You want to go back to mommy?" he asked. She nodded so he went back to me, but instead of her reaching for me to hold her, she just placed her hand on the skin of my neck and was content in Edward's arms. She just wanted us both close, it was the only way she felt comforted.

"Thank you," Edward said unexpectedly. I looked up and saw Charlie standing awkwardly in the doorway with another man whom I didn't recognize.

"How did you get him out?" I asked Charlie gratefully.

"He's not officially free yet, but it pays to have friends in high places and I called in a few favors," Charlie explained. "Since he's still a minor, he can't be legally released until his mother gets here…Got the charges dropped against him though."

"Thanks dad," I said sincerely while snuggling in closer to Edward and Em.

Edward, Em and I just held onto each other for awhile, and basked in the serenity of being together again, but then Em's curiosity got the better of her. "Dada, _this?_" she said while pulling at the shirt he was wearing. She had never seen either of us with a shirt on, and it was obviously confusing for her. Hell, I was a little weirded out by it as well; I hated the fact that Edward was all covered up.

"It's a shirt," he told her with a laugh.

"Shirt," she repeated him.

"Yeah, a shirt. See you have one too," he said while tugging on the shirt she was wearing.

"Mama shirt," she said excitedly.

"Yeah, mama has a shirt too," I said with a giggle.

"Eat," Em said, abruptly changing the subject. She leaned back in Edward's arms to point behind them at the table where the pizza was still sitting untouched.

"Edward, they have pizza!" I told him enthusiastically.

"Why didn't you eat?" he asked disapprovingly.

"I couldn't, I was too worried about you. Did they give you pizza wherever you were?"

"Yeah, they brought me food, but you should eat, it's probably cold."

"Eat," Em said again.

"Ok, baby," I said to her with a laugh. "Let's see what we have here." The jar of chunky baby food was in Spanish so I had no idea what it was, but regardless, the idea of feeding my daughter something from a jar like that was a little unnerving. I hesitantly opened the lid, and nearly vomited from the stench. "How about pizza?" I said to her.

I ripped off a little bit of the pizza and put it into her mouth, but the most hilarious expression crossed her features – utter disgust.

"Oh, you don't like that?" I asked while trying to contain my laughter.

"Yeah, it wasn't the best," Edward mumbled.

I turned around and pinched him.

"Ow! What was that for?" he asked while rubbing his arm.

"You knew it was nasty and that was why you were trying to get me to eat it," I said while poking him with each word.

"I did no such thing," he said playfully defensive. "And you better watch out, they don't take spousal abuse too well around here."

"Oh, you think that was spousal abuse?" I asked. "Well, I'll show you spousal abuse," I said while moving my hands under his shirt to reach his ticklish ribs.

"No, that's unfair….I can't defend myself I'm holding Em," he said while squirming.

But then a throat clearing from my dad reminded us that we weren't alone, so I promptly removed my hands from under his shirt.

"Sorry," Edward and I both mumbled.

"Um, is there something else we can feed Em?" I asked my dad, hoping he'd come to the rescue one more time.

"I'll go see what they have," he said uncomfortably before leaving the room.

"It's not the best, but you still have to eat it," Edward said to me.

"What, no way. I'd rather eat worms."

"Come on Bella, when was the last time you ate?"

I thought about it. "On the island."

"Exactly. You don't want to get sick now, do you?"

I shook my head no, and then sighed. "Fine." But after three bites of the cardboard pizza, my stomach started churning. "I'm going to be sick if I eat that," I said while pushing it away.

Edward leaned into me and kissed my forehead, but I wanted his lips so I looked up and him and puckered. He leaned down and kissed me tenderly, but before we could deepen it, there was more throat clearing coming from the doorway.

"They said she just ate a little bit ago, but they gave me this banana," Charlie said uncomfortably.

"Why wouldn't you know that she ate a little bit ago?" Edward asked me confused.

Crap. I didn't want him to get upset, but I refused to lie to him so I told him what happened…and he was definitely pissed.

"Where are you going?" I asked as he put Em down.

"I'm going to go talk to someone about this," he fumed.

"Edward, no. It won't do any good," I told him in a panic. "We're back together now, that's all that matters," I tried convincing him. The last thing I could handle at that moment was for them to arrest him again for his outburst.

"No, it's not," he snapped. "They had no right to take her from you. They could have done some serious permanent psychological damage to her."

"I've already given them an earful and plan to file a complaint," Charlie assured him. "But it's best to keep calm and just get you all home before they give us any more hassle."

"Yeah, none of this is going to matter in a few days anyway," I added. "Once we get back to the cottage, we're just going to put all of this behind us. I'm sure Em won't even remember it."

Edward and Charlie stared at me confused for a moment, which just confused me. "What?" I asked them.

"Bella, we're not going back to the cottage," Edward said slowly. "We're back in civilization now."

"Well, _now_….but we have to go back, that's our home," I said quietly, letting my words trail off as I realized for the first time that we would never be going back to the island. It was stupid to not think about it sooner; obviously we couldn't go back, we were in trouble for being there in the first place, but I suppose it didn't really hit me until that moment.

Our lives would never be the same.

Once again, I started crying. But I wasn't bawling like before, tears were just streaming down my face which made me feel absolutely ridiculous. Edward and Em were both there and safe, I should be happy, not crying like a child.

Edward wrapped his arms around me securely, and Em followed his lead by walking over to hug my leg. I was expecting Edward to tell me something encouraging, but he didn't say a word. He just held me and we took a minute to grieve our loss.

The thought of returning to Forks was absolutely terrifying. I tried to remember my life back then and I honestly couldn't, but I took a deep breath and decided that it didn't matter. The island was our home because we were together, and as long as we were able to stay together, it really didn't matter where we were.

"Edward?" a female voice said unexpectedly.

It was odd, but he didn't let me go when he heard his name, he just turned his head to look in that direction.

"Hi mom," he said emotionlessly.

I turned to look at the woman, and although I had seen Esme Cullen before, we had never really spoken so she was a virtual stranger to me….but I still couldn't believe Edward wasn't more excited to see her.

When neither he nor his mom moved, I pulled out of his embrace and gave him a nudge towards her.

"You've changed so much," Esme said absently. "If I didn't know any better, I would have thought I was looking at your father," she said before finally breaking down and letting her emotions get to her. She walked over and hugged Edward tightly while crying into his shirt. Edward returned her hug, but it definitely looked strained, like he wasn't completely happy she was there.

"Mama," Em said while reaching up for me to hold her. I bent down and picked her up, but because I was still standing right behind Edward, Em grabbed a hold of his shirt. She didn't seem to like Esme hugging him either.

"Oh, who's this?" Esme asked when she noticed Em.

Edward glanced back at her. "This is Em…our daughter."

Esme's friendly face fell flat. "Your daughter?"

Edward nodded, but kept his expression blank.

Esme looked at him strangely, almost as if she was searching for something in his face - perhaps a glimpse of the boy he was before, but whatever she found made her turn to look at me, and for a moment I could see a flash of pure loathing. Her icy glare took me off guard and actually made my breath catch, but then she turned her attention to Em and immediately warmed.

"She looks like you," she told Edward softly with a smile. "She's so beautiful….Hi sweetheart. Can I hold her?"

"Oh…sure," I said uneasily. Of course I'd want Em's grandmother to hold her, but there was something about the way she had looked at me that almost made me afraid of her, so handing my baby over was rather difficult.

Em went to Esme, but then she immediately reached for Edward. "It's ok, baby," he said to her encouragingly.

"Dada," Em said before starting to cry.

"Ok," he said while taking her back from Esme. "She's just a little shaken up right now," he explained to his mother.

"That makes two of us," Esme replied, but Edward just rolled his eyes at her comment. "Well, Charlie, what do you say we go talk to them about getting these kids out of here."

"That's a good idea," Charlie replied.

When they left the room, thankfully they took all the tension with them.

"Whoa, that was….weird," I said.

"What do you mean?" Edward asked, as if he was oblivious to the awkwardness of his reunion.

"Well, you didn't seem all that excited to see her. I mean, when my dad came in here I nearly lost it."

He shrugged. "I guess you just have a different relationship."

"How so? We haven't seen our parents in…how long has it been anyway."

"Two years," he said with a sigh. "I saw a calendar."

"Wow….it felt like so much longer."

"And yet shorter at the same time," he added.

"Definitely," I agreed.

Our parents were gone for about half an hour, so we used that time to talk about everything that happened while we were separated. Edward told me that after he was 'arrested' on the beach, he was also kept in a tiny room on the boat until we docked. He was scared to death for us and didn't understand what was going on until an interpreter explained everything in his cell. The entire thing was horrifying for all three of us, and I wanted nothing more than to get out of that stuffy building and to put it all behind us.

"Your dad is really cool, though," Edward said after a minute.

"Yeah, I'm lucky to have him."

Edward laughed. "I think we all are. When he met me outside my cell, he just shook my hand and said it was good to see me and that he'd make sure I got out to you guys."

"Really?" I asked impressed.

"What did you think he'd do?"

"I don't know, you did get me pregnant. He used to warn any guy that came around our house that he'd shoot them if I ended up pregnant," I said with a laugh. "He has a lot of guns, so everyone always took him seriously."

"Huh….Well, he was nice to me."

"I think he just understands," I said while thinking about Charlie's behavior. "I mean, it was only natural for us to turn to each other."

"Yeah," Edward mumbled, and then he sat on the ground and played with Em until our parents came back.

"We're all ready to go," Charlie said with a smile. "We have temporary paper work for Em which will get her over the border, but we'll have to file everything officially when we get there. Birth certificates and such."

"But we do have your passports, so we'll be able to make the redeye tonight," Esme added.

"We're leaving tonight?" I said to myself. We had been in that building for far too long, but the idea of flying back to Washington that night seemed overwhelming.

"If we get back before the media catches wind of this, we won't get bombarded with news reporters," Esme explained. "Plus we have Forks Hospital on standby to give you guys physicals and to check out the baby tomorrow," Esme told us.

I never even thought about the media being interested in our story, but I guess that would make sense. But I couldn't help but moan from the hospital bit of information; I hated doctors, though I guess it was a good thing Em would be seen.

"Ok, well, let's go. There's a van out here to take us to the airport," Charlie said.

"Hey dad, where's mom?" I asked, realizing for the first time that she wasn't there. I felt bad about not thinking about her sooner, but everything had been so crazy that she slipped my mind.

"Uh…she couldn't make the trip, but she'll be at the airport when we get there," he said cryptically.

"Why couldn't she make the trip?" I asked confused as we all began walking out of the building.

"Well, I'll tell you on the plane."

"Um…ok."

The women at the consulate had fallen in love with Em, so a few of them cried when we left, but they also gave us a care package which was basically a diaper bag full of baby essentials.

The five of us piled into the van and were taken to the airport, where Esme and Charlie checked us all into our flight.

"Well, it was a pretty full flight, so we couldn't get four seats together," Esme said regretfully followed by her first smile of kindness directed towards me. _Perhaps I was just imagining her frosty glare before_.

"At least we're on the same flight," I said with a returning smile.

Edward and I held hands, and he carried Em as we walked to our gate. It was getting late and it had been a traumatic day and a half, so I wasn't surprised to see her fast asleep on his shoulder.

When our plane was called to board, Esme handed Edward his ticket, and Charlie handed me mine.

"Wait, we're not sitting together?" I asked like a moron. I honestly thought when Esme had said we couldn't all four sit together, she meant we couldn't sit with them. I didn't consider the fact they planned to separate us. Sure it was the same plane, but….

"We're only a few rows apart," Esme told me.

"Yeah, but…"

"It'll be fine," Edward told me unexpectedly. "Your dad wanted to talk to you anyway, right? This will actually be a good thing because I definitely need to talk to my mom about some things also."

I wasn't happy about the arrangement, but it seemed I didn't have a choice in the matter. Edward and Esme sat five rows in front of Charlie and me, and he was going to take Em as well because she was sleeping on him, but I needed at least one of them with me, so I took her from him and kept her with me for the flight.

Em stayed asleep, but I spent the first hour of the flight trying to see Edward's head around the guy in front of me. I figured that as long as I could see him, we'd be alright.

"So, I wanted to talk to you about your mother," Charlie said after awhile.

"What about her?" I asked absently, still trying to keep a visual of Edward.

"The thing is….it was a rough go there for awhile, and we sort of grew apart…"

"Huh?" I asked, realizing I wasn't really paying attention.

"Your mom and I divorced last year. She met someone and moved out of state….When I got the call you were alive, I didn't even think about her, I just came and got you."

"You're divorced?" I asked, completely flabbergasted. "She already moved on….and you forgot to tell her I'm alive?" I asked incredulously.

"No, I called her from the consulate. Honey, she's over the moon ecstatic about you being back, but we both figured that by the time she got to the consulate, we would probably be back to Forks. So, she and her boyfriend are just going to meet us in Forks."

I really didn't know what to think from all of that. Not only was I already going back to a civilization that I hardly remembered, but it seemed the parts that I did remember would be different as well. My parents weren't a couple anymore, and my mom had a boyfriend? It just didn't make sense.

Just thinking about it was giving me anxiety, and I automatically started looking for Edward again. He was my safe place, the one thing I could count on, and he was too far away.

"It's all sounds worse than it is," Charlie said to me calmingly, he must have sensed my panic. "It may take time to get use to, but soon enough you'll get back in the swing of things…" He continued to talk, but I stopped listening. I was on edge, and if I continued to listen to him I knew I would lose it.

_Why couldn't I see Edward? – Stupid guy with the cowboy hat_.

But then suddenly, like every other time I needed him, he was there.

"Hey," he said with a smile as he fastened himself into my dad's seatbelt.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a huge grin, already feeling better just from his close proximity.

"You didn't see your dad get up? He came over and asked me to change places with him."

"Really?" I said, smiling even bigger and cuddling in to him.

"Yeah, are you ok? You look really upset."

"My dad just told me that he and my mom got a divorce. I mean, it's stupid for me to be upset about it right? I haven't seen them in years and I have a child of my own now. I shouldn't be affected by this, right?"

He leaned over and kissed my forehead. "There's nothing wrong with being upset. This would all be overwhelming for anyone, and with everything considering, you're doing remarkably well."

"You really think so? I don't seem to handle change very well."

"Yeah, but remember the way you were when we first arrived on the island?"

I thought about it, and I couldn't help but laugh. "I was seriously pathetic." I used to cringe from the thought of that version of me, but now I just thought it was kind of funny.

"Look how far you've come. The old you would have been huddled in a ball somewhere from such a stressful situation."

"True. And the old _you_ would be telling me the exact velocity of this airplane."

He nodded. "I still could….but I won't."

We both giggled, and then suddenly we were in full make out mode. I didn't even know who kissed who, but I really didn't care either. All of the tension, all of my worry and stress disappeared as his lips danced with mine. If Em wasn't sprawled out across my legs I probably would have ignored the offended onlookers and crawled onto his lap, but then….

"Ow, hey," I said after a little old woman smacked us with a magazine.

"That's probably how you two kids got in that mess in the first place," she said while gesturing towards Em. – _What an old hag! _

"Oh, she's not ours, we bought her from a souvenir shop," Edward whispered back to the woman.

She looked appalled by Edward's joke, but otherwise left us alone after that.

I wanted to kiss Edward again, but I had to remember that we weren't on our island anymore, and one part of being in civilization was knowing when and how much PDA was appropriate. I settled for holding his hand, and leaning my head on his shoulder as I tried to get some rest.

Despite being comforted by Edward's presence and words, I had a sinking feeling that life was about to get a lot more difficult than I could even imagine.

I hated civilization already.


	19. Getting Settled

Chapter 19 – Getting Settled

With the humming of the plane engine mixed with the hardness of Edward's shoulder, I managed to drift off to sleep and didn't wake again until we landed.

"Mama!" Em cried, waking abruptly from the plane's rough landing.

"It's ok, baby," I said while lifting her up so she could look out the window.

"That!" she said, just like she always did when she didn't know what something was.

"We're in an airplane," Edward told her. Em watched his mouth when he said 'airplane' but then she must have decided that she wasn't going to even attempt to say it. She had seen enough, so she curled back into my lap and waited patiently until we were able to get off the plane.

We were positioned further back then Charlie and Esme, so they got off the plane first and waited for us at the end of the tunnel. Charlie had an odd expression on his face when he saw us, but Esme looked relieved, almost as if she was worried we'd get lost on our way out.

"Hey," I said, mostly to Charlie. He looked upset about something, which worried me a bit. "What's wrong?"

"We just have some things left to work out," Charlie said strangely.

I automatically reached for Edward's hand, but he wasn't there, he was off to the side in what looked like a heated conversation with Esme.

"Dad, what's going on?" I asked concerned.

Charlie took a deep breath. "Esme and I spent the last couple hours on the plane discussing you and Edward."

"Ok," I said worriedly. "What does that mean?"

"You're both seventeen, so technically you're minors." He took another deep breath. "Esme is insisting that means that Edward isn't capable of living away from her."

"What?" I asked, legitimately confused.

"Look, we haven't talked about your relationship with Edward yet, but I figured….you have a daughter together, you've lived together for two years, so I suggested that we agree on a living situation that would keep you together."

My stomach dropped. He didn't have to say anymore, I understood…. Esme wanted to separate us. "So…." I was utterly speechless.

"Since your mom left I have our house all to myself, so I suggested that Edward could stay with us, but Esme isn't ok with that. She said Edward's been gone for two years and she wants him home. So it killed me, but I suggested you and Em go stay at her house with Edward then…you know, just so you could all stay together, and she's unwilling to do that either."

I could feel my anxiety creep in again. I couldn't be separated from Edward; we had to figure something out. I looked back at Edward and Esme, and their heated conversation looked to be cooling down, so I relaxed just a bit - he must have gotten through to her.

I watched them carefully, and then he nodded a few times before the two of them walked back over to us. Edward bent down and picked Em up. "We need to talk," he said to me slowly.

His tone scared me. "Ok."

"Em, can grandma hold you for a minute?" Esme asked her gently.

Em shook her head 'no' and then tried to lean away from her.

"It's ok baby," Edward said to her, and then he handed her to Esme despite her protests. My heart sank as she cried, and I had visions of those people ripping her away from me in Mexico as she screamed there in Esme's arms.

"Oh, I don't want to leave her like that," I said as Edward tried to pull me to the side.

"Hey Em, come with grandpa to see the planes?" Charlie said, taking her out of Esme's arms. Em immediately calmed with Charlie, and funnily tried to pull at his mustache.

"She's ok," Edward assured me, and then led me towards a group of empty chairs.

"So what's the arrangement?" I asked, fully expecting him to tell me how he convinced Esme to let us stay together.

He was quiet for a moment, and then he sighed. "My mom's not going to budge. She said I have to stay with her, and you have to stay with Charlie."

I furrowed my brows. "So what are we going to do?"

"I'm going to stay with her, and you're going to stay with Charlie," he said unexpectedly.

"That's not funny," I said getting upset that he would joke like that.

"I know….But it's basically at night and we can be together all day."

"Wait, you agreed to that?" I asked incredulously.

"Bella, we're technically not adults yet; we don't really have a choice here."

"I can't sleep without you," I said, forcing myself not to cry.

He wrapped his arms around be, and kissed my forehead like he always did when I was upset, but this time, it didn't calm me.

"Hey," he murmured. "Don't worry about it, ok. Everything is going to be fine."

"I can't sleep without you. I can't live on the opposite side of town as you…it'll be like us living apart on the island again. I can't do that. And what about Em?"

"She suggested that we spilt her nights between us," he told me. I was about to have a panic attack, so Edward rubbed my shoulders soothingly. "I know, you can't be that far from her, even for just the night."

"Can you?" I challenged him.

"No…so don't worry about it. You'll keep her every night."

"But…"

"And I'll wait until my mom goes to sleep, and I'll sneak over there."

_Oh…um… I really didn't know how to react to that._

"Bella, she's not going to give in to this, so what she doesn't know won't hurt her."

"Our houses are too far apart," I said absently.

"I'll ride my bike until I can get a license. I got some money from my dad's death so I'll buy a car."

"You're going to sneak out every night, and ride your bike all the way across town?" I asked in disbelief. "Even when it's raining?"

"I'll leave a change of clothes at your house," he said with a laugh, but I didn't think it was funny so he sighed again. "Look, I'll do whatever I have to; besides, when we turn eighteen she won't have a say anymore."

I inhaled sharply. I hated the idea of Edward riding his bike across town just so I could sleep at night, but I honestly didn't think I could handle the alternative. It wasn't going to be easy, but it seemed we didn't have a choice. "Ok," I mumbled reluctantly.

He smiled reassuringly. "No worries?"

"There's a lot to worry about," I pouted.

He laughed once, and then draped his arm over my shoulder to lead me back to our parents and daughter. "Come on, we have a date with a doctor."

"Ugh! This just keeps getting worse and worse."

We headed towards the airport exit, but just as we were about to walk out the door, we were spotted.

"Oh, there she is," I heard a familiar voice say. "My baby!" I turned just in time to briefly see my mother before she slammed into me. "I always knew you were a survivor," she said as she cried dramatically into my hair.

_Was she always so….flamboyant?_

"Hi mom," I said, trying to be happy to see her, but I couldn't help but notice the younger looking man gawking at our reunion.

"Oh, baby, I want you to meet Phil," she said excitedly.

"Hi," I said, having a hard time containing my bitter tone.

"You can get to know each other later. Let me look at you," she said while holding me at arm's length. "You. Are. So. Thin. Maybe I should go on an island diet," she tried joking, but no one laughed. "Oh my god, is that my granddaughter?" she squealed then ran to gush over Em.

"Sorry, kid, I thought it would be better to tell her about Em myself so she had time to let it sink in," Charlie mumbled to me.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked him.

"She's changed almost as much as you have," he said with a mix of humor and annoyance.

I looked back at Renee just in time to see her pick Em up, but I was surprised that she didn't cry the way she did with Esme, instead she just looked…confused. My mother was sort of like a clown, and Em didn't know whether to laugh or be scared shitless.

"I'll take her," I said as I took Em from Renee.

"She's so beautiful Bella," Renee said, which was the first sane thing that came out of her mouth since our reunion.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"Hey, who's that hot guy over there who was with the baby?" she whispered.

"That's Edward," I said slowly, seriously wondering if she was high on something.

"Wow, when did he get sexy?"

I rolled my eyes. I would always love my mom, but at the moment I wanted nothing more than for her to just…go away. But, it seemed she had other plans.

"Let's go get you guys a physical," Renee said far too loudly.

Esme didn't want me living with them, but she did let me ride with her and Edward; Charlie had come from work anyway and only had his police cruiser. So Edward, Em and I went with Esme, Renee and her new boy toy drove behind us, and Charlie in his police car was behind them. It almost felt like a funeral procession, and made me all the more nervous.

We rented a car seat for Em at the air port, so she sat between Edward and me in the back seat. She absolutely hated being strapped in like that and cried for the first ten minutes, but once she noticed that we were moving, she settled in and proceeded to '_ohhhh' and 'ahhh'_ out the window as we passed things she had never seen before. Edward and I couldn't help but laugh at her, and Esme giggled from the driver's seat as well.

When the car took the exit into Fork, it was like revisiting a dream or almost a déjà vu. I remembered everything, but it was as if I had seen it in photos instead of actually ever being there. So when we pulled into a parking lot of some sort, I was seriously confused.

"Why are we here?" Edward asked Esme.

"We want to make sure you are all healthy," Esme said gently.

"I'd rather have a shower first," Edward said bitterly.

"I know sweetheart, but like after any other life threatening event, you need to be checked out here before anything else," Esme replied.

"Life threatening event? Since when is being arrested a life threatening event?" he asked annoyed.

"Being stranded on an island is the life threatening event. Not everyone could have survived that."

"She's right about that," I mumbled. "I know I wouldn't have survived without you."

"Putting you in boy scouts was the best thing I've ever done," Esme said complacently.

Edward rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath.

"The sooner we get checked out, the sooner we can leave," I tried convincing him. I would never admit it out loud, but I was also agreeing with Esme to get on her good side. She obviously didn't like me, so it was in all our best interest for me to try to change her mind.

"Fine," Edward said with a huff. He unbuckled Em from her seat, and then we got out of the car, but to my horrification Renee got out of her car as well, and insisted on accompanying me into my checkup.

"I think I can handle it," I said to her uncomfortably.

"Nonsense; I'm your mother, so I'm staying with you," Renee said unfazed.

Charlie and Boy Toy stayed in their respective automobiles, but Renee and Esme escorted us inside.

We all sat in the waiting room, but Em was called first so Edward and I took her back together, leaving our moms to wait until we were finished. They may have been our parents, but we were Em's and neither Edward nor I were going to let them butt into that.

"Well, she's a healthy one year old," the doctor said after looking her over, and even though I already knew that, I was relieved. "Since we don't know her exact birth day, I'd say to pick a date in the next couple of weeks and throw her a huge bash."

"That's a good idea," I said quietly, suddenly feeling horrible because I didn't realize before then that I didn't know her birthday. What kind of mother doesn't know her daughter's birthday?

"Talk it over, and get back to us as soon as possible so we can file all the necessary paper work for her birth certificate," the doctor told us.

And then my heart broke as Edward had to hold Em down so the doctor could administer her first immunizations. She screamed, of course, but the look of betrayal she gave Edward afterwards cut him deep.

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry," he said, begging her for forgiveness, but the damage was done and she wasn't in a forgiving mood….that is, until he introduced her to stickers and lollipops, and then she was right back to being a daddy's girl again. She was just like him - she didn't hold grudges, at least not for very long.

We went back out to meet our mom's in the waiting room, and then my name was called to be seen.

"Be strong, babe," Edward whispered with a supportive smile.

"Mama going?" Em asked alarmed.

"It's ok, she'll be right back," Edward assured her.

Renee insisted on going inside with me, though it was even more embarrassing because I had to get completely undressed and wear one of those paper robes.

The doctor came in, and after introducing herself, she got right down to business. "So you gave birth in an unsterile environment without any medical care?"

"Um…yes," I said, feeling insecure again.

"So we need to check that as well as get a blood test to see how your body has coped with such drastic changes. Anything else I should know of about your time on the island?"

I thought about it. "I was bit by a poisonous snake," I said casually.

The doctor and my mother looked horrified, so I showed them the scar on my wrist.

"So you survived by having Edward suck out the venom?" Renee asked after I told them the entire story.

I nodded, so the doctor began writing into her notebook. "Ok, let's start the exam."

After getting a complete physical as well as an OBGYN checkup, Renee had one more request for the doctor.

"So, we need to make sure to get her some birth control…because I don't know if you've seen her baby daddy, but he is H. O. T. and it's only a matter of time before baby number two will be on its way."

As embarrassed as I was from Renee's comments and all around presence, I was glad she mentioned it. In fact, the mere thought of birth control was the best part of being back in civilization.

"Of course," the doctor replied. She then proceeded to lecture me about the risks of sex before handing me a prescription.

When that _embarrassing but highly worth it_ event was finished, Renee and I went out to the waiting room and saw Esme sitting there alone.

"Edward was called inside a few minutes ago," Esme explained.

Before I could ask about Em, I saw her standing a few feet away at a side table ripping up a magazine.

"Oh, baby, no," I said, intending to take the magazine away from her, but Esme stopped me.

"Don't worry; I've already given the receptionist money to replace it."

"Oh…thanks," I said, still feeling like I should be stopping her.

"What's the prescription for?" Esme asked when she saw the piece of paper in my hands.

"Uh…"

"It's birth control," Renee stage whispered. "Em is the cutest thing in the world, but we can wait a few years before we have another grandbaby, right Esme?"

I could feel my entire face burning from Renee's uncouth comment, but Esme's reaction was the opposite; she looked at me with that same icy glare she gave me in Mexico.

"I…the doctor just thought it would be a good idea," I said uncomfortably.

Thankfully, Edward came out then and saved me from embarrassing myself any further.

"So what now?" he asked Esme as we all walked out towards the parking lot.

"Well I think we should all go home for a while…" Edward's face immediately angered, but Esme put her finger up to stop him from protesting. "Just to get cleaned up and settled in. I know Renee would like to take Bella shopping for some new clothes, and we definitely need to get you some things…I doubt anything you had before would still fit."

"I've worn the same pair of shorts every day for the past two years. I'm sure I can find something I can wear…sweats or something. I have no desire to separate from Bella and Em to go shopping."

"Edward, I just want to take you home to get a shower and reacquainted with the house and your room and such. I've invited everyone over for dinner, so you'll see them again in a few hours," Esme argued frustrated.

"This is a good idea kids," Renee jumped in. "We have a lot to do today, so let's divide and conquer. Come on Bella," she said as she physically pulled my hand from Edwards and began leading me towards her car.

"Wait," I said, feeling completely out of control.

Edward quickly caught up to us and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me to a stop. "The sooner we do what they want, the sooner we'll be back together," he murmured into my ear before kissing my neck.

"Can't we just steal my dad's fishing boat and try to find another deserted island somewhere?" I whined quietly.

He laughed. "I'll see you in a couple hours. Just pretend I'm on a hike."

_I guess I could do that._ "Fine…but you were the one who said I always get myself into trouble when you leave me."

"Well, lucky for us, we have Renee to babysit you," he joked.

"Har har," I said, and had to fight the urge to pinch him.

"Do you want me to take Em?" he asked.

I was carrying her on my hip, so I hugged her closer to me and shook my head no.

"Ok," he said while leaning in to kiss Em before kissing my forehead, and walking off towards his mother's car. Charlie got out of his cruiser and helped Edward take Em's car seat out of Esme's car, and then they put it into Renee's.

Thankfully, we dropped Boy Toy off at the hotel, and Renee, Em and I hit the local Target.

"It's not Bloomingdales, but it's the best Forks has," Renee said of the store. "We need to get you _everything_," she told me as we pushed the cart through the store. "Bras, underwear, clothes, shoes, purses, make up….Oh, and you definitely need some lingerie."

"Lingerie?" I asked surprised.

"Oh come on Bella, you have a child and you're almost eighteen, we don't have to pretend like you're not going to have sex again. Look at this," she said while pulling a black lacy negligee off the hanger. "You can show him exactly what he's been missing on that island."

Once again, my face reddened, but as she continued to move through the section and kept her light carefree tone, I managed to force myself to lighten up as well. She was right after all, I was definitely still planning on having sex with Edward, so I may as well make use of the positive aspects of being back – and fun undergarments was definitely one of them.

When our cart was full of all my 'essential' beauty products and clothing items, Renee told me to get another basked to fill for Em's stuff.

I actually giggled with my mother as we sorted through the baby clothes.

"Look at these shoes," Renee squealed as she held up a pair of tiny pink Mary Janes.

"Do you like them Em?" I asked her, but she obviously had no idea what they were. "They're shoes," I told her. She had seen Edward and I wear shoes from time to time, but she never had a pair herself.

"Shoes," she said with sudden interest.

"Yes, shoes," I told her.

"Let's try them on her," Renee said excitedly. "Every girl's best friend is shoes….Well diamonds, and then shoes."

Renee slipped the shoe on Em's foot and although it fit, she obviously didn't like the way it felt.

"Well, I supposed she's just going to have to get used to wearing shoes," Renee said unfazed. "Let's buy them anyway."

"Mom, how can you afford all this?" I asked concerned.

"Oh don't worry about it baby. Charlie gave me some money; besides, I've missed shopping for you."

After paying for everything, Renee brought us home…_Home_, it didn't sound right; it was my childhood home, but as we walked up the familiar steps towards the old white house, it felt like the furthest place from home.

"Did you buy out the store?" Charlie grumbled as we brought in all the bags.

"Oh Charlie, you have to see what we got," Renee said excitedly.

_Please don't show him the lingerie_ – I thought to myself. Thankfully she wasn't as stupid as she sometimes acted, and she mainly showed him Em's clothes.

"So…did you by any chance pick up toothbrushes? How about real baby needs like diapers and sippy cups?" Charlie asked incredulously.

_I had to be the worst mother ever._ "No," I said ashamed. "I guess we forgot."

"Don't worry about it. Why don't you go take a shower; I'll run out to the store and pick up some things," he told me reassuringly.

"Oh that's a good idea. You were always better at buying that stuff than I was," Renee said enthusiastically. "Go up to shower and get pretty; I'll stay here with Em and we'll play dress up."

I felt myself roll my eyes at her, but it surprised me. Before the island I would have loved getting 'pretty', but the fact that my dad had to be the rational one really threw me. I should have known to get the real daily essentials for my daughter, and I was angry with myself that I had overlooked it.

The house hadn't changed whatsoever since I had been gone, so I found my way easy enough, and the shower felt amazing. The waterfall from the lagoon was never cold, but it wasn't warm either, and I had forgotten how great a shower actually felt. "Shampoo," I said to myself as I noticed the bottles there. I realized I needed to shave, so I carefully stepped out of the shower and found my dad's razor, and thankfully, he had some new razor heads in the drawer.

I spent a little longer than I planned in the shower, so I quickly dressed and ran down to check on Em. She was napping sweetly on the couch, but she was wearing a huge pink tutu that I didn't even notice Renee had bought.

"She is just the sweetest little thing," Renee said adoringly.

"Thanks….how much stuff did you try on her?" I asked horrified as I noticed all the tags on the floor and the huge pile of baby clothes sprawled out over the couch.

"Oh, I only got two outfits on her before she conked out…" She paused to look at me strangely.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Honey….are you wearing a shirt?"

I looked down at myself and realized that I was just wearing the pants I had brought up, and nothing else. My hair was covering my breasts, but it was still terribly embarrassing.

"Oh, sorry," I mumbled before running back up the stairs. Thank god Charlie wasn't home.

"Put on some makeup while you're up there!" she called after me.

I put a bra on for the first time in over a year, and then one of my new tops. It felt strange, but then again, everything felt strange at that point. Then I took my mother's advice and put on some makeup. It was nowhere near as much as I used to wear, but enough to make me look a little less…_blah_. Having a mirror to look at myself in made me realize just how plain of a face I actually had, and I wondered how Edward was able to find me attractive at all.

Charlie came home a while later, and I was surprised by how much he bought. A car seat, a high chair, sippy cups, formula _– the doctor said she needed it for calcium_, diapers, wipes, and even a crib that he planned to set up in my room.

"Wow, thanks dad," I said quietly, not wanting to wake Em up from her nap.

He smiled kindly. "Well, I'm happy to do it. Having you two girls in the house is going to be a really good thing."

Since Em was still sleeping, Renee convinced me to let Charlie stay with her so I could get a haircut. Luckily the place wasn't busy, so I was able to get in and out and back home to Em before she even realized I was gone.

"Looks great, kid," Charlie said when he saw my haircut. I only trimmed off a few inches, but the woman had blown it out and straightened it, which made it look so much more shiny and healthy.

"You'd never know she was just stranded on an island a couple days ago, right?" Renee asked with a smile. "Well, besides that amazing tan and her killer abs."

After putting all our new things away, I couldn't help but look up at the clock. "Can we go to the Cullen's yet?" I asked Charlie eagerly.

"I think that would be ok. I'll call Esme to make sure."

"I'm going to head out at pick up Phil. We'll see you there," Renee said to me with a kiss to my cheek.

"Thanks mom."

Em was still sleeping, but I couldn't wait any longer so I woke her up. "Ready to go see daddy?" I asked her.

"Dada?" she asked groggily.

"Come on, let's go see him," I said while peppering her face with kisses and making her giggle.

Even though it had only been about three hours since I saw Edward last, it felt like a long time and I just wanted to be in his arms again.

"They're ready for us," Charlie said after hanging up the phone.

I scooped Em up, grabbed the diaper bag, and then practically ran out the door….


	20. Appearances

Chapter 20 –Appearances

I had never been to the Cullen's house before; in fact I wasn't even sure where it was. But then Charlie drove to the outskirts of town before pulling into a driveway, and I was surprised by the massive house stretched out in front of me.

"Whoa," I said, mostly to myself.

"It's a pretty big place, isn't it," Charlie replied. "Which is another reason why I don't understand why you can't stay there with him," he grumbled.

I didn't understand it either, but I accepted it since it seemed there was no changing Esme's mind. Edward promised to come to me every night anyway, so it didn't matter anymore.

"That?" Em asked, pointing at the large house.

"That's Grandma Esme's house," I told her. "Daddy's in there."

"Dada!"

"Yeah, dada," I said with a smile.

We walked up the steps and I hesitantly knocked on the door, suddenly feeling nervous. I didn't know what to expect, but I certainly wasn't expecting someone other than Esme or Edward to open the door.

"Who are you?" the blonde supermodel-wannabe asked without any other form of a greeting.

"Um…Bella," I said quietly, feeling a bit underdressed in comparison to what she was wearing.

"Never heard of you….Oh, are you that girl that Edward was marooned with?"

"Um, yeah," I replied.

"I think you know who we are, Rose," Charlie said irritated.

"I was only joking Officer Swan," she said with a fake smile before moving aside and letting us in.

"Bella, Charlie, so glad you could make it," Esme said while breezing in to greet us. She too was dressed much fancier than the jeans and casual top I was wearing, which made me slouch into myself as a way to hide my embarrassment of my clothes. "There's my beautiful girl," she said to Em, but Em just curled into me shyly and tried to hide also. "Well, I'm sure we'll get to know each other better when you stay here with daddy."

I was about to tell her that Em wouldn't be staying there at all, but I figured I'd let Edward handle that.

"Where's Edward?" I asked intimidated.

"My entire family has come over for dinner to meet you guys and welcome Edward home…but he's being a little antisocial. I think he's in his room."

"Oh, is it up stairs?" I assumed, intending to retreat from her presence and go find him.

"His room is upstairs, but you can just stay here while I go get him," she said before turning and heading up the stairs.

Charlie, Em, and I stood awkwardly in the foyer, and listened to the loud chatter of the group of people in the other room. I really didn't feel like meeting people and socializing with anyone, but if that was the only way to see Edward at the moment, than I could definitely handle it.

The fact that Esme was having a party and didn't warn us to dress appropriately was really making me increasingly anxious, but I had to admit, I was more than a little excited by the idea of seeing Edward all cleaned up and dressed nicely. I could imagine how sexy he'd look in a pair of Dockers and a button down shirt, or even a pair of really well fitted jeans.

Except…

"Hey," Edward said with a smile as he came down the stairs. I was absolutely shocked by his appearance; he was wearing a pair of grey holy sweats and a faded Van Halen T shirt, he wasn't shaved, and his hair was just as unkempt as when we were on the island.

"Dada!" Em reached for him, so he smiled and took her out of my arms before kissing her chubby cheeks.

"We missed you," I told him with a smile.

"I missed you guys like crazy," he replied while hugging Em closer.

"I'll give you guys a few minutes," Charlie mumbled as he put on a brave face and walked towards the awaiting crowd in the kitchen.

I leaned over Em to kiss Edward's lips, but it stayed strangely chaste, and I wondered if he was just as uncomfortable in the large stuffy house as I was.

"What have you been doing?" I asked.

He shrugged absently while tugging at Em's girly getup. "Is this Renee's doing, or yours?" he asked, and if I didn't know any better, I could have sworn there was a slight edge to his tone.

"Renee's, but I guess it's a good thing with the party and all," I said with a laugh, struggling to keep my tone light. "You're not dressed for the occasion?" It didn't matter what he was wearing, he was gorgeous in anything, but I had to ask.

He looked past me towards the crowd in the kitchen, and scoffed. "They're not here to see me all fixed up, they came to gawk at the _wild island boy_. I'm just an episode of 'Survivor Man' to them."

"Oh…" I said unsure of how else to respond.

"Come on, let's go up to my room," he said. He didn't wait for a response; he just grabbed my arm and tugged me behind him.

"Um, I don't think your mom wants me upstairs," I said as we went.

"My mom doesn't 'want' a lot of things, but it's about time she learns she doesn't always get what she wants," he replied carelessly.

Even the second floor of the house was huge, and by the time we reached his bedroom I had no idea which way we had come.

"Wow," I said when we entered the room. He had six shelves full of books and CDs, and hanging on the walls were things that looked like they belonged in a museum.

"Oh, I told her that Em probably won't be staying here, but I think she bought that just in case," he said, confusing me - but then I saw what he was talking about, there was a crib in the corner of the room.

"Well, that's ok, she can nap in there when we're here," I told him with a smile.

Edward shut the door while putting Em down to explore the room, and then he turned to me like he was going to embrace me, but instead froze and looked at me oddly.

"What?" I asked, thinking I had something on my face….and I guess I did.

"Are you wearing makeup?"

"Oh, yeah…Renee bought me all new stuff, so I just figured…" I let my sentence trail off with a shrug; Edward's expression was making me wish that I hadn't put any on at all. "Does it look stupid?"

"No, it doesn't look stupid," he said quickly. "I'm just not used to it….It looks good," he said with a pathetic attempt to sound sincere. "You cut your hair too?"

I bit my bottom lip. "It was really dry and tangled," I told him insecurely.

"It looks nice," he mumbled.

We stood there in an awkward silence for a few unbearably long moments.

But then – "Oh, baby don't do that," I said when I noticed Em destroying one of Edward's books - _she seemed to find tearing paper very interesting_. I bent down to take the book from her, and felt terrible about the amount of damage she had already done. "I'm sorry, Edward. I really don't know why she did that."

"Bella, why are you apologizing to me?" he asked legitimately confused.

"Well, she…"

"She's my daughter too; you don't need to apologize to me for her behavior. She didn't even do anything wrong anyway. She's one; I don't expect her to behave perfectly, especially since she's never even seen stuff like this before." He sat down on the floor and pulled Em on his lap before grabbing a different book and opening it up to show her.

"I just didn't want her ruining your things," I said quietly.

"There is absolutely nothing in this room that I care about anymore," he said honestly, taking me aback.

I understood what he meant, but it made me a little upset as well. I could see the kid he used to be in that room from his boy scout medals, to his chess boards and science books. Edward wasn't that guy anymore, but the fact that he didn't hold any sentimental value in any of it was definitely sad.

"It's all really neat though," I tried convincing him as I looked through different things.

"I used to wipe my boogers on that," he said of the chair my hand was resting on.

"What?" I asked disturbed.

He laughed. "I'm kidding. Wow, you actually believed that?"

"No…I..."

"Jeeze, Bella, I may have been a nerd but that doesn't mean I was disgusting….well, at least not in the hygiene department," he said with another laugh, but his words were definitely tainted with some underlying bitterness.

Em had gotten off Edward and wandered away to investigate something else that interested her, so I used his empty lap to my advantage - I plopped myself down on top of him, straddling his outstretched legs, and planted my lips to his. He was surprised by my attack, but he grabbed onto me tightly and returned the kiss with fervor.

I knotted my hands in his hair and his hands moved under my shirt to the skin on my back, and all the stress of the past few hours melted away. Troubles always seemed inconsequential when we were in each other's arms, and with the tension that had been between us, I think we both needed that relief.

"Eh-hum," someone said abruptly, breaking our kiss. Edward and I both looked towards the doorway and I was embarrassed to see Esme standing there looking cross, especially since I didn't even hear the door open. "What is going on in here?"

"What does it look like?" Edward asked her condescendingly.

"I asked that you stay downstairs," she said evenly.

"How does it feel to ask for something and not get it?"

"Edward," she questioned him incredulously.

"Mom, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room - _Oh shit, call the police_, or maybe you should call your shrink back over to reevaluate me some more because I'm obviously insane and being manipulated. What was it he said I had – _Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome?_ Yep, that's got to be it. I mean just look at Bella, she's been stranded on an island for two years but she definitely is a delinquent so I have to be crazy to want to be with her."

"I just don't want the door shut," Esme said defensively.

"Oh, that's right; never mind that our daughter is right over there, the door was shut so that has to mean we're in here fucking like rabbits, right? And why the hell would you care if we were anyway? It's not like I'm some innocent virgin messing with the town tramp. Trust me, Bella doesn't have syphilis."

"Wha…" Esme didn't know what to say to that, and frankly, neither did I.

"We're not doing anything wrong, so please just go make sure all the outlets are covered. I may get confused and stick a fork in one or something," he said while staring her down, challenging her to say anything else.

She looked at him like he just slapped her across the face, then she turned and glared at me for a minute before slowly backing out of the room, making sure to leave the door _open_ as she left.

"Um… What brought that on?" I asked after a few minutes.

"Seriously? She was being ridiculous. It's bad enough that she won't let us stay together, but she's got give me all these rules like I'm some kid up here with my first girlfriend."

"I thought I was your first girlfriend?"

"That's beside the point," he said, trying to stay serious but smiling despite himself.

"Did she really bring a shrink here?"

"Yeah, I said I didn't want to go shopping, so she called over some nut job that's just as crazy as she is."

"Why would she do that?" I asked legitimately confused.

"She said it was just an initial meeting and he'd help ease me back into my old life, or some shit like that. But the guy was a quack; he said I'm going to have a hard time adjusting and relearning how to live in society. I mean really, how much could the world have changed in two years?"

I shrugged. "It seems pretty different to me," I admitted.

"Only cause we're parents now…but having a kid is a life changing event for anyone."

We both automatically looked back at Em, and she was chewing on something. "What is she eating?" I asked, immediately getting up to take whatever it was from her.

"Oh, I think it's just my leftovers. I was eating a sandwich a little bit ago."

"Oh, are you hungry, baby?" I said while picking her up.

"I can run down and get her something from the kitchen," Edward said while getting up and heading towards the door.

"Why don't we all just go down?" I said hesitantly. "I mean, my parents are here, and everyone else did come over to see you, so we may as well go put on a brave face and see them."

He sighed. "I guess it can't be worse than trekking through a snake infested stretch of jungle."

I laughed. "No, it can't be worse than that….but maybe just as deadly," I joked.

"Maybe this time you can suck me," he said casually.

I stared at him in humorous shock. "And I thought your 'handy' jokes were bad," I said after a moment.

"What? Nah, we're past the handy stage."

"So now we're on the 'public blowjob' joke phase?"

"Who said I was joking? … Oh, don't look at me like that; you know I have no problem dropping trou in front of everyone. Especially since the last action I got was from a Mexican prison guard who wouldn't even give me his number afterwards. Although, I have to admit, the cavity search was pretty fun."

"Oh, shut up, you did not get a cavity search," I said while laughing.

"No, but that would have been nice."

"You really are horny, aren't you? No wonder you're grumpy."

"I'm about two seconds from slipping my mom a sleeping pill and heading over to your house right away. Em will be out for the night as soon as it gets dark out, but don't plan on getting any sleep yourself."

I giggled. "Promise?"

"Just wait."

"Ok, well until it gets dark out, we have a little girl that wants something to eat, so let's suck it up and get this party over with."

"_Suck_ it up?" he asked suggestively with a smirk.

"Ugh, I think I liked the handy jokes better."

"Still not joking," he said with a serious tone as we grabbed Em and headed down the stairs.

"Speaking of dropping trou though, where did you get these if you didn't go shopping?" I asked while tugging on his sweatpants. They were holy, but fit him in length which would have been way too long for him two years prior.

"Oh, they were my dad's. I'm about his size now; well I'm a little taller actually."

"Oh…that's cool...And it's great your mom kept some of his stuff after all these years."

"Are you kidding? She kept _all _of his stuff. The woman hasn't gotten rid of anything since he died; my bedroom hasn't been touched since I went missing either. The woman doesn't know how to let go and move on with her life, and she thinks _I_ need therapy."

I bit my bottom lip. "Well, I don't know if I could either," I admitted.

"What do you mean?"

"When we were in Mexico and both you and Em were taken from me….that feeling….it was the worst thing in the entire world, and I don't think I could have been able to get past it if I didn't get you both back. I can't help but imagine that's how she felt after losing your dad then thinking you were dead as well…Getting you back now has probably just made her scared to death of losing you again."

I didn't understand Esme's hatred towards me, but I could sympathize with her desire to keep Edward close by considering all she had lost.

He was quiet as he thought about it, but then his features hardened. "Being afraid to lose something doesn't necessarily mean you're truly meant to have it….it can just means you're afraid of change."

I didn't know exactly what he meant by that or who he was actually talking about, but I didn't have time to question him either; we were about to step into the kitchen, and officially back into society.

I squeezed Edward's hand, and held Em just a little closer.

Edward's great aunt squealed when we came into view, causing Em and I both to cower. "A little jumpy, aren't you?" his aunt asked me as the crowd engulfed us.

"Oh Maggie, give the girl a break, this has to be overwhelming for her," Esme surprisingly came to my defense. "She's not used to so many people."

"Is that why you didn't want us all coming over?" the chubby old busy body asked.

"One of the many reasons," Esme replied with a forced smile.

"I guess we shouldn't have insisted then."

After learning more names than I could possibly remember, I randomly locked eyes with Charlie and couldn't help but feel slightly better that he looked just as uncomfortable as I was; Renee, on the other hand, was loving all the company.

I rolled my eyes at my mother's enthusiasm for gossip. I realized then that I probably would have ended up just like her if it weren't for the island - Thank god for my clumsy fall overboard.

"Want to get Em some food then go outside?" Edward asked me quietly after we greeted everyone.

"Yes please," I said eagerly.

But perhaps going outside was a bad decision…

"Bella, Bella, come sit with us," a girl with a high pitched pixy voice said as she came skipping over to us.

"Um, ok," I said, looking at Edward questionably as the strange girl pulled me by the arm towards the picnic bench on the lawn where three other people were already sitting, including that Rose chick. _Ugh!_

"Bella, this is my cousin Alice," Edward introduced us.

"We know each other already," Alice cut him off. "You remember me, right?" she asked me.

"Uh…of course," I lied.

"We had geometry together….well, I was a freshman and you were a sophomore, but we sat two rows apart…" I guess she could tell that I still didn't recognize her, so she added - "We were partners once for a project."

"Oh, Alice, right," I said with my friendliest smile.

"You still don't remember me, do you?"

"No, I'm sorry," I admitted. "But, to be honest, I'm just a little overwhelmed and having a hard time remembering _everything _from before."

"Or, you don't remember her because she wasn't one of the popular kids," Rose jumped in.

"Rose!" the guy sitting next to her chided her, and then he turned to me with a smile and outstretched hand. "I'm Emmett…I see you named your daughter after me. Emmett, Em…pretty close."

"I never even met you before today," Edward said to him incredulously while I shook his hand.

"Oh, right."

"Emmett is Rose's boyfriend," Edward explained.

"And Rose is…" I asked, not knowing exactly how he was related to the super model wonder bitch.

"My cousin….on my dad's side."

"Oh… So Alice is your cousin on your mom's side?" I asked unsure.

"Yep."

"And…" I said gesturing towards the other guy there.

"Oh, sorry, I'm Jasper…. Alice's boyfriend. Don't worry, I'm not a past acquaintance that you don't remember, I moved here not long after you guys went missing. Read about you in the newspaper though, pretty interesting…Well, not interesting, but…you know."

"Yeah, I got it," I said with a smile.

"So are you guys going back to school?" Alice asked unexpectedly.

_School?_- something I thankfully hadn't given two thoughts about in years.

"We haven't even been back for twenty four hours yet," Edward told her. "Maybe you can give us some time to decompress and think about everything."

"It's not like they could just waltz into the twelfth grade anyway," Rose said smugly. "They've missed two years, they'd have to go back to being sophomores."

"Technically they could take an entrance exam and have tutors and extra classes to help them make up the credits," Jasper told her. "They probably wouldn't graduate on time, but with the extenuating circumstance the school may allow them to walk regardless."

"Oh, say you'll come back to school with us, we can be best friends," Alice said excitedly.

Uh….

"Well, I would say _this has been fun_, but it hasn't, so I won't," Edward said before picking up Em, and grabbing my hand to lead me away from the group.

"Ok, just think about it though," Alice called after us.

"This," Em said as she crumbled a cracker all down Edward's back.

I giggled and brushed him off. "Well, your cousins are….nice," I said to Edward, not knowing how else to describe them.

"I think the best description for Rose is 'bitch', and Alice is fit for a straight jacket," he replied.

I wasn't paying attention to where he was leading us, but I suddenly realized no one was around.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"Oh, just the side of the house, I used to always come over here to hide," he explained. He put Em back down to toddle around, so I decided to take a much needed break from being civilized by burying my hands under his shirt and holding onto his bare torso from behind. I already missed the feeling of his skin pressed against mine, and if that incredibly long day didn't end soon so he could sneak over to my dad's house to make love to me, I was sure to lose it.

"Mmm, that feels good," he said as I rubbed his stomach muscles.

I stretched up on my tip toes to kiss the back of his neck. "How many hours until you'll be crawling through my bedroom window?"

He chuckled. "I'm not sure…but definitely not soon enough."

He turned in my arms so we could be face to face, and then he leaned down to kiss me. But I was taken aback by the intensity of his kiss. What I thought was going to be just soft tender had erupted into something else, something I never felt before. It was more than raw passion, it was almost angry, possessive even, and it definitely took my breath away.

I wanted to ask him about the kiss, but the moment he pulled back he said - "Come on, we should get back before my mom sends out a search party."

"Oh…okay," I said feeling a little flustered.

We braved the crowd again, but I couldn't help but be grateful when Charlie asked if I was ready to leave.

"Did you want to come over for awhile Edward?" Charlie asked. "I can bring you back in awhile."

Edward took a deep breath. "No, I think I'm going to hang out for a little bit longer and then go to bed early," he replied unexpectedly. I automatically looked around for Esme thinking she had to have given him a look of disapproval or something, but she wasn't around.

"You can ask your mom, she might say its ok," I told Edward.

But he shook his head no. "It's almost dark and Em will be going to sleep anyway."

"Well come over and tuck her in then," I said, sounding a little more desperate that I intended.

"You have the phone number here, right? Just call me if she has trouble going to sleep…But I have a feeling she'll be out for the night during the car ride there."

As if on cue, Em yawned widely so Edward gave her a bunch of kisses before walking us out to Charlie's car, and snapping her in her car seat.

"Daddy will see you in the morning, ok?" held to her softly.

"Dada going?" Em said, but then she yawned again and was too tired to really care what was going on.

"I'll see you later," Edward whispered to me after kissing my forehead.

I nodded absently, still confused as to why he didn't accept Charlie's invitation.

Em was fast asleep before we even hit the end of the street, so when we arrived at Charlie's house, I carried her right up the stairs and carefully undressed her before putting her in the crib.

I felt weird about leaving her in that room by herself, but I wasn't ready to go to bed just yet, so I reluctantly walked downstairs to spend some one on one time with Charlie.

"I ordered a pizza," he said when he saw me.

"Didn't we just eat?" I asked with a laugh.

"Was that even real food?" he joked.

"It was a bit…fancy," I agreed.

"I was thinking more like…small."

"Ok, well pizza sounds…good," I lied. Pizza actually sounded horrible, especially after the nasty stuff we had at the consulate.

Charlie and I talked a bit, and laughed as we caught up. He told me everything that had been happening in Forks since I was gone, and I told him different stories I had from the island….well, the G rated stories anyway. He was very interested in how we survived, so I told him about Edward's Swiss Army knife and how he made the spear. I described our cottage, and even admitted to how much I missed it. I also told him about Em's baby days, and how excited we were when she took her first steps.

It felt good to talk about everything; it was almost like looking at an old photo album or something, but it did make me miss the island even more and the fact that Edward wasn't there at the moment only added to it.

After we ate pizza and watched a little TV, I decided to call it a night and impatiently wait for Edward in my room, but that was when all the un-island-y food hit me. I spent the next couple hours in and out of the bathroom getting so sick that I could hardly see straight afterwards, and the next thing I knew I was waking in my bed with the daylight seeping in through my window.

It had been a miserable night and I must've eventually fallen asleep without even realizing it, but the worst part of the entire thing was that I was fairly positive that Edward never came….


	21. Fish

Chapter 21 - Fish

I didn't care that it was six in the morning; I called the Cullen house right away after discovering that Edward didn't come.

"Hello?" Esme answered.

"Mrs. Cullen, hi….um, is Edward there?"

"It's six in the morning Bella, I'm sure he's sleeping."

"Oh…uh….do you mind waking him up?" I asked like a moron. I should have known she's say no but I was anxious and desperate.

"Is something wrong with Em?" she asked worriedly.

"No, but…uh…I just really need to talk to him."

"You know, he was up late last night sick, so I think it's best to let him sleep for a little while longer."

"He's sick? Oh no, I was too," I said, somewhat relieved that there wasn't a more serious reason as to why he didn't show.

"Are you feeling ok now?" she asked, and if I didn't know any better, I'd think she almost sounded concerned.

"Oh, I feel much better this morning, thanks for asking. Were you up all night with Edward?" I asked, assuming her over protectiveness would keep her by his bed side.

"Well, I probably would have been, but he yelled at me and then locked me out of his room," she said with a little laugh. "I'm glad you feel better Bella, and I'll have Edward call you when he wakes up."

"Thank you," I said politely.

I went to hang up the phone, but before I could lift my hand from the receiver, I was grabbed from behind.

"Ah!" I screamed startled by the unexpected embrace.

"It's just me," Edward hushed me.

"Edward? Oh my god, what are you doing here? I just called your house and your mom said you were sick in bed."

He laughed. "I was sick, but I promised I'd be here, so here I am."

"You shouldn't have come if you were sick, how long have you been here?"

"I got here around one."

"One this morning? Why weren't you in bed with me?"

"I climbed through your window but you were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you. Besides, I was still throwing up every hour or so and thought you might catch it if I laid with you."

"I was sick too. I must have just fallen asleep right before you got here," I said while wrapping my arms around him and hugging him tightly. "What were you doing downstairs?" I mumbled into his neck.

"Uh," he said with a laugh. "Your dad caught me going in and out of the bathroom and said I could just sleep on the couch if I was worried about waking you and Em."

"Oh," I said while hugging him even tighter.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked me.

"Yep, you?"

"I am now," he said while kissing my hair. "Is Em up yet?" he asked after a minute.

"She wasn't when I first came down; I better go up to check on her."

"I'll go," he said eagerly, so I smiled and waited there as he rushed up the stairs. It was obvious that he had a hard time being away from her as well.

"Well, that was an interesting night," Charlie grumbled as he walked into the room to make some coffee.

"Sorry dad, Edward and I were both pretty sick last night; we didn't mean to wake you."

"It's not a problem. Just curious though, was his midnight visit going to be a regular thing?"

I thought about fibbing, but Charlie didn't deserve to be lied to so I nodded sheepishly.

"Now Bells, you know I support whatever you kids need, but I am a cop and he's only seventeen, so…" he sighed. "I really have no idea where you found this," he said while sliding me a small silver key over the counter.

I raised my brows at him.

"Now don't look at me like that; this isn't easy for me but I think keeping you apart will only do more damage than good. I figure he'll be coming over here whether I like it or not, so we don't need him breaking his neck while climbing up the tree to get in through your window.

I smiled and then hugged him. "Thanks dad."

"I have no idea what you're thanking me for," he grumbled.

"Right," I played along.

"Hi!" Em said excitedly as her and Edward came into view.

"Hi baby!" I said just as excitedly back.

Edward was helping her walk down the stairs, which she was absolutely getting a kick out of. "This," she said, pointing down to show me what she was doing.

"I see baby, those are stairs."

"Well, I'm going to be late for work," Charlie said while going over to kiss Em's head, before kissing mine. "Edward," he said with a nod.

"See-ya, Charlie," Edward replied. "So…what are we going to do today?" he asked me.

I shrugged and smiled. "How about…_nothing_?"

He smiled back at me. "Sounds perfect."

Edward and I still didn't feel well, so we fed Em but opted to skip breakfast ourselves, then the three of us curled up together and watched a movie, but of course it wasn't long before the phone rang and I had a pretty good idea who it was.

"Hello?"

"Bella, its Esme…Is Edward there?"

I looked over at Edward and he looked absolutely irritated, but he held his hand out for the phone anyway.

"Yes mom, I haven't been kidnapped, I'm here so you can call off the police…..Well, that's nice, I wanted to spend the day with _my_ kid, so that's why I'm here instead of there….Yep, sure," he said sourly before hanging up the phone.

"Does she want you to go back?" I asked concerned.

"Don't really care what she wants," he said evenly before changing the subject. "Look at Em completely mesmerized by the TV, maybe there's truth to the whole 'TV rots the brain' thing."

I laughed. "I doubt it; I never watched much TV and I was still pretty stupid before."

He looked at me disapprovingly. "You were never stupid….Misguided, but not stupid."

"I think we were both a little misguided by our mothers," I said suggestively.

"Touché," he agreed.

"It's kind of funny if you think about it, we both became completely different when we were away from the people who influenced us the most."

"Yeah, well, who will we be now that we're back?" he asked absently.

"We are who we are," I said, confused as to what he meant exactly. "I mean, we may change a little, but we'll always be us…right?"

"I hope so," he mumbled.

"You don't sound too sure?"

"If the island has taught me anything, it's that nothing in life is certain. I mean, the future is always changing and I'm just not sure where we're going from here. On the island it was simple, we were us and that's all we could be, but here…." he let his words trail off.

"It doesn't matter where we are or where we'll go…we're a family, so we'll be together," I stated – It wasn't a question in my mind, except the longer he hesitated, the more I doubted he felt the same way. "Right?" I prompted him when he still didn't reply.

"Of course we'll be together; we have Em," he said with a forced smile.

"And we have each other," I told him strongly.

He looked at me strangely and I felt like he said a million things in that one look, except I didn't understand the words. After just a few days off the island, were we already back to speaking a different language, and it absolutely terrified me.

"Each other is still all we'll ever have," I reiterated, much quieter and praying he'd just nod or give me some kind of sign that he felt the same way.

He still didn't respond verbally, but he wound his fingers into mine and then lifted our conjoined hands to kiss my knuckles. My chest tightened as a response. I expected him to put my hand down after that, but instead he pleasantly surprised me by kissing my wrist next, and then left a trail of kisses up my arm and onto my shoulder before tucking his face under my hair to kiss my neck.

I shuddered….in the best possible way.

"How lone until Em's nap?" he whispered before kissing behind my ear.

"An hour or so," I said with a longing sigh.

"Ok," he said unfazed. He pulled back and lifted Em off my lap before moving her to the other side of him. She didn't protest the move, she didn't even seem to notice; she was still completely engrossed in the television.

Edward scooted closer to me, and I couldn't help but smile as he leaned in to attach his lips to mine. We weren't about to leave Em to go have sex, but we could definitely use her distraction to our advantage and make out like a couple of teenagers.

God I wanted him. It had been far too long since we had sex last, and I just needed to have that feeling again. Civilized life was hard, but add in the fact that something was always getting between us and physical intimacy, and I was about to go crazy. He was my soft spot, my safe place, and sex was more than just sex for us - it was comfort - the feeling of being whole….We needed to be whole again.

I wasn't paying attention to the clock so I had no idea how long we were making out for, but something made me glance at Em and thankfully she had mercy on us and fell fast asleep.

"Make sure the door is locked," I said in a rush. Edward jumped up to check the door while I put couch pillows all around Em so she wouldn't get hurt if she fell in her sleep, and then Edward and I rushed up the stairs.

We didn't even make it to my bedroom before we had to stop to kiss again. He pushed me against the wall and pressed his pelvis into mine, showing me just how much he wanted me. I could easily feel his erection through our respective sweatpants, and it made me whimper with desire even more.

Every inch of me was a live wire, so when he pushed his hand down the front of my pants to grab a hold of my sex, I nearly exploded.

"We…need," I couldn't even talk, but he understood well enough so he pulled his hand out so we could complete our whirlwind journey to my bedroom.

Our clothes seemed to peel away from our bodies as we finally made it to my bed, but the bounce and squeak that the mattress made as we fell onto it suddenly made us both laugh. It was an odd sound for us, something we had definitely never heard from our time on the island.

"This is too soft," I told him.

"Definitely," he said huskily before lifting my naked body up, and plopping me down on the carpeted floor next to my bed.

I giggled, but the anticipation was driving me crazy so the need to laugh quickly dissolved.

Except…

"Crap!" I said remembering something.

"What?" he asked, sounding just as desperate as I was feeling.

"My doctor said I couldn't start the pill until after my period."

"Yeah, well my doctor gave me these," he replied with a huge grin as he pulled a bunch of condoms out of his pocket and sprinkled them on the floor next to us.

It felt like Christmas.

"Open one!" I said eagerly.

Edward quickly tore one while I put the rest on the side table, but then he just kind of stared at it.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Um…not really sure how to put it on," he admitted.

I laughed once. "I thought you aced Sex Ed?" I joked as I grabbed the condom from him and slowly rolled it down his length.

"I thought you didn't?" he asked me strangely.

"I didn't ace anything, which is just one more of the million reasons why I'm glad we were on that island."

I wasn't about to let any more awkward moments invade our time, _especially not right then_, so I bent down and kissed his lower stomach before kissing up his body towards his mouth. When my tongue met his, his momentary strange mood disappeared like it was never even there. He flipped us over so he could be on top, but when I playfully refused to open my legs for him, he growled making me shudder…in the best possible way – I loved it when he got all assertive and primal.

He entered me slowly, savoring the feeling; of course it didn't feel as good as it should with the barrier, but he was still inside of me, and there wasn't a better feeling in the world than that.

We moved together with the perfect blend of pushing and pulling, giving and taking, but as the sensation continued to build, I felt a brief second of that aggressive possession that was in his kiss the day before. He didn't hurt me and he wasn't physically forceful in any way, it was on an emotional level, which I couldn't even begin to understand.

Edward was the sweetest most compassionate person I had ever known….except, maybe there was something buried inside of him, something dark, something I was only getting the tiniest glimpse of but had the potential to erupt and destroy everything in its path.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared – not of him, but _for_ him.

But all those thoughts and uneasy feelings only lasted a second, and then I was right back in the moment with Edward. It didn't matter what I thought I saw or what I wasn't sure I felt, all that mattered was that we were together in the present, and I was definitely going to enjoy it.

The heat devoured me, searing through every vein until I was nothing but a pulsating languid ragdoll, lying helplessly in his arms. After he climaxed, he collapsed on top of me, covering every inch of me with his perfect form; it was absolutely bliss.

We held each other for awhile, before finally convincing ourselves to pull away and get redressed so we could go back down to check on Em.

"We're going to do this again later today, right?" I asked him, unsure if I could stand to leave the room if he wasn't one hundred percent positive we'd have sex again that day.

"Oh yeah," he said with his crooked smiled that I loved so much.

"Promise?"

"I promise," he assured me.

"Ok."

We walked down the stairs hand in hand, and then cuddled quietly on the Lazy Boy, just watching our daughter sleep and waiting for her to wake up. We didn't need to really speak right then, just being together and continuing to bask in the afterglow of finally making love again was enough for us. But after a while, he began playing with the twine ring on my finger.

"You don't have to wear this anymore," he mumbled unexpectedly.

"You made me this ring; it's a symbol of our perfect lives together on the island, and I'm going to wear it all my life," I told him doubtlessly.

"Yeah, but eventually something made like that, something so fragile and organic, it's going to fall victim to the harsh elements of living here, and it's going to break down until there's nothing left," he said emotionlessly.

My heart jumped, and then suddenly I became defensive. "It most certainly is not. It's strong, and it'll be absolutely fine."

"I hope that's the case."

"Well, I know that's the case," I told him assuredly.

Em woke up a little while later, and Edward and I decided we better attempt to eat some lunch, though nothing sounded good whatsoever.

"Charlie really needs a personal shopper," Edward said as he looked through the pantry.

"I think he mainly eats at the diner."

"Ok, what do you feel like?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I can't think of anything."

"We could go to the store and buy something," he suggested.

"Oh, well, Charlie said he'd leave me some money, but I think he forgot."

"I have money," he said while pulling a wad of cash out of his pocket to show me.

"Where did you get all of that?"

"I did….things," he said, playfully cryptic.

"Oh please don't tell me that you've turned to stripping," I teased. "I mean, I would pay to see you take your clothes off, but I don't want anyone else to."

"I made this money _before_ we were on the island, and I highly doubt anyone would have paid to see me strip back then."

"So where did you get it?"

"You're going to laugh at me."

"I would never," I said, trying to force myself not to smile.

"I recycled cans….and did all my chores."

"Wait…this was your allowance savings?" I asked humorously. "What did you have to do for it, keep your room clean and do the dishes?" I couldn't help it, I started laughing.

"See, I knew you were going to make fun of me, but this is hard earned money; you try making your bed when you have a rather large gut in the way."

"Ahh, honey," I said with faux sympathy. "Come here." I pulled his head down so it was resting on my shoulder, and I rubbed the back of his neck soothingly.

"Doing chores is a respectable way to earn money when you're fourteen," he mumbled into my shirt.

"That's right, it is…and recycling cans."

And like all the other times Edward and I embraced, Em came over and hugged my leg to be part of it.

"Awww, look how cute the three of you are together!" Renee's voice squealed as she unwelcomingly barged into the kitchen through the back door.

"Um, mom, you don't live here anymore, so shouldn't you…you know, knock?" I asked, bitter that she interrupted us.

"Nonsense, your dad would never ask me to do that….Hell, I was the one who painted that door, so why should I have to knock on it?"

I rolled my eyes. "What are you doing here?" I asked irritated.

"I came to see my girls…and their hunky guy," she said with a wink towards Edward. "Oh, and here, I filled your prescription for you."

I took the brown bag from her hands and peeked inside at the best little pills in the world.

"Now remember, you start taking them on the first day of your period, got it?"

"I got it, thanks mom," I said with an excited grin.

Renee offered to take us to lunch, so we piled into her old Vista and headed over to the diner.

"So, where's Boy T – I mean Phil, where's Phil today?" I asked as we were seated at a table and I noticed for the first time that she didn't have her arm candy with her.

"Oh, he's watching some sporting event in the hotel. You know, we're thinking about getting a little place here to be closer to you guys, what do you think?"

"Uh…you don't have to do that," I said uncomfortably. I loved my mother and all, but I honestly believed seeing her a couple times a year would be more than enough.

"No, it would be great. I can work only part time at the boutique and then watch Em when you're at school."

Edward looked at me stunned. "You're going back to school? Why didn't you tell me that?"

"What? No, this is the first I heard about it. I'm not going back to school," I told Renee assuredly.

"What do you mean; you have to go back to school. How are you ever going to get a decent job and help support your family if you don't graduate? You have a daughter to think of now."

"Dad said we can stay with him as long as we want, and when Edward turns eighteen he'll come move in with us," I told Renee.

"Ok, but then what? You can't live with Charlie for the rest of your lives."

"Um, we can get our GED through independent study," I told her.

"Yeah, but I talked to the Forks High principal and he said it would be a good idea for you to take some elective classes at the school in addition to independent study, that way you can catch up on the necessary credits faster."

Edward shifted his weight in his seat uncomfortably, and then it returned - _the tension_. I looked at his face and he was looking past me vacantly, but his jaw was set in a hard line as he stewed over whatever was bothering him.

Renee must have sensed his discomfort as well. "Well Edward, how long until you turn eighteen anyway?" she asked him.

"What month is it now?" he asked unsure.

"September…Your senior year just started so if you go back in the next couple weeks, you won't be too far behind."

"We're _two years_ behind," I corrected her, but then I thought about something. "Hey, my birthday is in September."

"Yeah, honey you'll be eighteen next week."

"Wow," I said in disbelief, and then I suddenly became excited. "I always wanted to be eighteen."

Renee and Em laughed at my enthusiasm, but Edward just seemed to get more distant.

"How about you, sweetie, when's your birthday?" Renee asked him.

"My birthday is on the twentieth."

"Oh, that's close!" Renee said excitedly.

"Of June," Edward added.

"Oh," Renee and I said at the same time.

"Ha, I am older than you," I teased, but he didn't feel like joking. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said evenly.

"Something," I disagreed.

"No, I just hate that I have to wait nine more months to be eighteen."

But then I realized something else. "You're like….barely seventeen."

"So?" he said defensively.

"Wow Bella, you're a cougar; like mother like daughter," Renee joked, but Edward and I just glared at her. "What? What did I say?"

But the truth was that it did freak me out a tad bit. Edward was almost a year younger than me, which meant he was barely sixteen when Em was born, which also meant he was just barely fifteen when we first got stranded. It didn't seem like it should make much of a difference, but for some reason, it just did.

"Well, ok, what are we getting for lunch?" Renee asked, trying to break the tension.

"Fish," I said, without even looking in the menu.

"Fish!" Em repeated excitedly.

"I'm not sure yet," Edward said with a strange undertone, and then he put his menu down to look at me. "You're not even going to see what else they have before you decide what you want?"

"I don't need to look, I already know."

"You only think you know because you haven't looked yet," he argued.

"I was sick all night last night from being forced away from my normal diet," I said slowly, wondering why he cared so much. "My stomach knows fish, it wants fish."

"Ok, well how long before your stomach wants something else?" he asked unexpectedly.

_Uh…._ "What makes you think it will ever want something else. I've already convinced my body that I can only eat fish for the rest of my life, and every part of me has accepted it."

"But that was before, when you didn't have any choices. We've had fish every day, three times a day, for the past two years, and now that we have a whole menu of options, it's only natural to want something different."

"But I don't."

"Well, once you've accepted that we're never going back to the island, you'll get different cravings."

"I _have_ accepted that we're not going back, but…"

"But fish is just what's comfortable, right? Well someday you're going to remember that once, not that long ago, you didn't even like fish. You thought fish was disgusting. And then you're going to wonder what else is out there and you'll realize that you've wasted your time eating plain fish when you could have had something better."

"Wait, you lost me….Is Bella the metaphorical fish here, or are you?" Renee asked him hesitantly. "Please don't tell me you guys are already" - she covered Em's ears with her hands – "_having relationship troubles_?"

"What?" Edward asked incredulously. "I just know that if she thought about it for a few minutes, she'd want something other than fish, that's all."

"Fish," Em repeated again.

I felt like my heart was beating out of my chest and pumping numbing morphine throughout my entire body. Even though I refused to admit it out loud, I knew that conversation was about much more than just fish, but I was so confused by the entire thing and that just scared me even more. What was Edward really talking about? Maybe it was a lot simpler than I was making it out to be, but I just couldn't wrap my brain around it and I refused to dissect his words to make sense of it. I was happy in my bubble, and I wanted to stay there.

Edward seemed ok for the rest of lunch, and even joked around a bit with Renee, but there was definitely something off with him.

Later on Esme practically begged us to come over for dinner and that invitation included my parents, but Renee decided to meet back up with Phil so she just dropped us off at the Cullen house, and Charlie met us there a little while after that.

Dinner was fine, there were no arguments or attitudes, but it still wasn't exactly comfortable. Charlie took Em and I home afterwards and Edward secretly promised to meet me later, but with how odd he was acting, I wondered if he'd follow through.

But Edward always kept his promises, and at eleven fifty five PM, I heard him coming up the stairs towards my room.

"You used the key?" I asked groggily as he entered the room.

"Yep," he said before crawling into the bed with me. "Is it just me, or is this way too soft?"

"It's way too soft…especially before you got here."

"Are you saying I'm not soft?" he asked playfully.

"No, you're not, you're hard and boney…just the way I like it," I said before snuggling into his chest.

I knew he was tired from his trip over, hell I was tired just from the late hour, but I couldn't stop my desires and I found my hand creeping towards the waistband of his sweats.

"Oh, my Bella, always thinking with your vagina," Edward mumbled, already half asleep.

"Yeah, well you promised me we'd have sex again today, and we only have four minutes left before midnight."

"Well, we better hurry before I break my promise then," he said with a sudden burst of energy.

Edward never broke his promises, and he certainly didn't break one that night. Of course our love session ran all the way through the next day, which was the perfect way to start any and every day.

….

The rest of the week continued on much like that day had gone - Edward, Em and I would spend our mornings together as a family, Renee would pick us up for lunch, and Charlie would meet us at Esme's house for dinner. Then Charlie would bring Em and I back to his house to wait for Edward to return to us around midnight, thus starting our daily routine over again.

It wasn't an ideal arrangement, but it was the best we could hope for at the time until we could figure out something more permanent. The tension was still there between Edward and me, but we didn't have any more disruptive subliminal arguments, and tried our best to ignore the discomfort that neither of us were willing to face.

But that Friday evening, after Charlie, Em, and I had gone back to his place after dinner, I got a phone call from Esme - She wanted to arrange a time the two of us could have a private talk - a 'heart to heart', as she called it. I had to admit, I was nervous, but I couldn't help but wonder if she knew what was really going on with Edward, so I was definitely willing to meet her.

I had spent three days lost at sea before washing up on an uninhabited island, faced the prospect of spending the rest of my life away from civilization, got bitten by a poisonous snake, gave birth without any medical aid, and was taken into custody by foreign language speaking men who could have been pirates for all I knew at the time, but having a solo talk with Esme Cullen was definitely one of the most nerve-wracking things I ever had to face….


	22. When it Rains

Chapter 22 – When it Rains

"Going somewhere?" Edward asked me curiously when he saw me getting my shoes on.

"Um…yeah. Your mom asked if she could take me out to lunch. Charlie bought a bunch of sandwich stuff in there or I can bring you and Em back something," I said in a rush, hoping he wasn't going to freak out too much.

"My mom is taking you to lunch?" he asked incredulously.

"Yeah, she said she wants to have a 'heart to heart'," I said as casually as possible, even though my stomach was doing flips and my heart was racing - and not in the good type of way. Even my palms were sweating from my nerves.

"You don't have to go, just tell her no," Edward said, pretending to be indifferent but I could see a hint of anxiety from him as well.

"No, I think I should hear what she has to say. I mean, she doesn't like me, so if she's going to tell me why then maybe I can defend myself or convince her that I'm not some villain trying to steal your virtue."

He laughed. "Don't take anything she says personally, she thinks the entire world is a villain out to steal her happiness."

"I'm not going to let anything get to me," I said convincingly, though I was fairly certain I was trying to convince myself more than him.

"Ok, well…." He looked like he wanted to say something else to me, but instead he just kissed my forehead and whispered "Good luck."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically before kissing his chest and then going over to kiss Em's cheek. "Mama's going to be right back," I told her.

"Mama going?" she asked curiously.

"I'll be right back; you're going to stay with daddy, ok?"

"Dada!" she asked excitedly as if he wasn't already there with her.

"Yeah, dada," I said with a giggle.

"See, I'm her favorite person," Edward said smugly.

"Oh, shut up," I said playfully before giving him another quick kiss and heading outside to wait for Esme to pick me up. She pulled up two minutes later, so I reluctantly climbed into the front seat of her car and awkwardly struggled with my seatbelt.

"Is everything ok?" she asked me concerned.

"Yeah, sure."

"I'm assuming Edward's staying with Em?"

"Yep."

"It's funny, I never see him leave in the mornings no matter how early I wake up."

"I think it's hard for him to be away from Em all night," I lied pathetically. I was pretty sure she knew he slept at Charlie's with me, but I wasn't about to admit it.

We drove quietly to a little café downtown, and were seated at a table without saying a word to each other, but we went there to talk, so I was going to make sure that we did.

"So, what's good here? This place must've opened in the last two years because I've never been here before," I said shyly. Ok, so it wasn't the type of 'talk' we needed to be doing, but I was really nervous and couldn't think clearly.

"Yes, a good friend of mine opened it up. Do you remember Mrs. Newton?"

I thought about it for a minute; the name sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. "I'm sorry, I'm sure I've met her but I really can't remember much from before. It all feels like a lifetime ago."

"Well that's understandable. Bella, the reason why I asked you here is because I really just want to get to know you better. This is a small town, and people…talk. You have to understand something," she took a deep breath. "Edward was a very smart, gifted child. I just knew he was going places in life, but since my husband died…I became a little….paranoid. I'm sure being a mother yourself you could understand that."

"Of course," I admitted honestly. "I worry about Em all the time too, and when she was taken from me in Mexico I felt like I was going to die." – I cringed at the memory.

"I can only imagine how awful that was for you."

I nodded, so she continued.

"Before Edward was lost, I worried about everything when it came to him. You know, car accidents, getting sick, drowning, heck, even when he walked down the street I would worry that a tree could fall on him."

I tried not to laugh, but it was fairly silly.

"I know, it's ridiculous," she agreed with my reaction. "But then I forced myself to let go just a little and allow him take that Marine Biology trip. He wanted to go so badly and had even put together a list of the reasons for me to consider, so I caved…and then my worst fears were realized when _he didn't come home_," she choked up.

I felt bad for her, her pain was written all over her face, but as sorry as I was that she had lost her son in that way, I still didn't understand why she hated me.

"When I was told he was alive, it was like a second chance. I had my baby back, except….he wasn't my baby anymore. He was this…man, with a baby of his own. I understand that you turned to each other, and I'm glad; I'm glad you were able to find some happiness….But with all my earlier worries, Edward becoming a teen father was never one of them. I never expected that, and as much as I love Em, it threw me a bit. And I have to admit, I listened to some of the gossip surrounding you, and I was worried."

"Gossip? What gossip?" I asked confused.

"It doesn't matter. Regardless of what may or may not have been true, Edward cares deeply for you and if I don't want to lose my son for a second time, I need to accept you…to _welcome_ you as part of my family and be glad that you make Edward happy."

"So…?"

"He just turned seventeen a few months ago…and as much as I understand his desire to be with you and Em, I just can't allow him to live with you at this point."

"We lived together for two years," I argued.

"And I didn't separate you to be cruel, but the truth is that you're not on that island anymore, and it's time to reclaim your lives. If you were just normal teenagers who had a child together, you would still need to live at your respective homes until you finish high school and start your adult lives together."

"But we're not normal teenagers."

"I know, honey, I do, but in order to ease your way back into normalcy, I think this is necessary. I'm not asking you to not see each other, heaven knows Edward would never agree to that, but take a step back and remember that even though you're parents now, you are still kids as well. You had your childhoods ripped away from you, and you can be grateful for the path that brought you Em, but still allow some of that weight to be lifted from your shoulders. This was not a choice, this was done to you and you deserve to salvage what's left of your childhoods. But part of being a kid is to build the foundation of your future which is what I think you both need to be doing right now. Edward still has the ability to go to college and really make something of himself….to support his family…. You both do."

"So…?" I asked again, unsure of what she was really trying to say.

"I spoke to your mom, and she said she's trying to convince you to go back to school. I think it's a good idea. I tried talking to Edward about it, but he refuses to listen to me about anything, so I'm hoping that if you go back, he will too."

I bit my bottom lip. "We have Em to care for, so we were just going to do independent study."

"I understand that, but I only work three days a week, and Renee said she could move here and take a few days off, and your father as well. We will all work together to take care of Em during the day…At least until she's adjusted enough to play with other children in a day care setting. But Bella, you and Edward…you live in civilization now, if you just stay cooped up in your house all the time, how will you ever function properly in society? Don't you want to set a good example and show Em that the world isn't a bad place? I made that mistake with Edward, and if you're not careful, you could do it with her."

I thought about what she was saying, and I actually understood it. I didn't want Em to be afraid of the world, and with Edward and I too afraid to go back to school and find some sort of normalcy, we weren't setting a good example for our daughter. The thought of school was terrifying, but maybe that was ok. I refused to let my fears force me into hiding. Edward and I did nothing wrong, so there was no point in being shamed into never showing our faces again.

"Ok," I said with a deep breath. "I'll go back to school and try to convince Edward to come with me."

"Thanks Bella; and I really am sorry if my actions have seemed…cold towards you. It wasn't about you…not really anyway, it was just my own neurotic concerns and the fact that I was allowing others to convince me that your relationship wasn't genuine."

I didn't understand the genuine comment, but I decided that since she was apologizing to me, that perhaps the meaning wasn't a bad thing. At least I hoped it wasn't.

We ate our food and spent the rest of our time together talking about Em and different funny stories I had about her from the island. She seemed honestly grateful to hear the stories, and I was almost inclined to call our lunch pleasant.

"So, what did she want to talk to you about?" Edward asked the moment I walked through Charlie's door.

"She just wanted to apologize for acting cold towards me, and she explained why she did it….I think," I said, suddenly confused if that was the purpose of the conversation or not.

"Oh…well good. Is she going to let me live here now with you?"

"No, she said we need to finish high school first."

"What?" he asked incredulously. "Wow, she's seriously delusional."

I bit my bottom lip.

"What?" he asked, knowing I had more to say.

"Well, I actually think going back to school is something we need to do."

He stared at me in shock, but there was serious hurt and anger behind his eyes as well.

"I...I…I just think it's for the best," I stuttered, suddenly feeling anxious again. "We need to set a good example for Em. We need to show her that the world…that people aren't bad."

"You let her get to you," he said in disbelief.

"What? No, it just makes sense. Renee said we could just take a few elective classes to help catch up on our credits. We'll probably only be there for half days and we could be home with Em by lunch."

Edward shook his head angrily. "She manipulated you, Bella, don't you see it? She knew just what to say to get you to do what she wanted. She's trying to tear us apart."

"Edward, no, she said she understood us. She said she was going to be more welcoming of me."

"But yet, she won't let us live together. Bella, she lied to you….She manipulated you and you played right into her hands."

"No, that's not what happened," I said, getting upset. "It is important to get back out there and graduate. I want Em to have a normal life."

He stared at me for a moment, and I could see that sliver of darkness there in his eyes again. "Fine. Go to school. I hope you find exactly what you need there."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It doesn't mean anything; I just hope you're happy with your decision."

"Edward, I want you to come with me," I said, trying to soften the tone and make him understand. "I'm sure our moms can even request to get us all the same classes so we can ease back into society together."

"And what classes would we take together, Bella? Home Ec?"

I shrugged. "PE. Debate… We're pretty good at arguing," I said with a laugh. "Maybe you can join the swim team, I bet you'd blow everyone else out of the water…They wouldn't even know what hit them; they'd probably think you were on steroids."

"See, that's the difference between you and me - I never cared what other people thought of me and never will," he snapped.

"Ok, why are you so angry with me? I just want to do what's right. We need to be responsible now for Em's sake."

"I'm not angry. You think being responsible for Em means going back to high school, then great, go do that. But I have other plans."

"Ok, what are your plans?"

He huffed. "I'm still working it out, but they definitely don't include Forks High. In fact, I can probably take an exam right now and get my GED. Maybe I'll just do that and go straight to the JC."

And then I got angry. "Yeah, I forgot, you're a genius right? Well, guess what, I'm not that smart, so don't get pissed at me because I need to graduate high school in order to make something of myself."

"Mama back," Em said while toddling into the room.

"Yes, Mama's back," I said with a forced smile while picking her up and hugging her tightly.

God, I wished we could just go back to the island. Everything was easier there, just the three of us, but that was never going to happen so we needed to try to move on with our lives, which was something we both needed to accept.

Edward and I weren't about to argue in front of Em, so we spent the rest of the day pretending nothing was wrong, but we could definitely feel it. We didn't kiss, we weren't playful, and when he came back to my bed that night, we didn't have sex. We fell asleep on opposite sides of the bed with our backs turned to each other…but I was still glad he came.

By morning the physical space between us was gone and I woke up tangled with him and my head on his chest, but that didn't mean we were over it. We waited until Em woke up before a single word was said by either of us.

Renee came over that afternoon like always, but this time she had an ulterior motive.

"So, I was hoping we could go shopping today," she said with a smile.

"Mom, you already bought me everything I could need."

"Yeah, but you need school supplies….and party stuff."

"What party?" Edward asked bitterly confused.

"Well, Bella's turning eighteen."

"Nope," I said quickly. "Not having a party mom."

"Oh, you have to," she whined. "I was thinking we could make Em's birthday right after yours, and we could have a joint party.

"Mom, I don't want a party for me…but, I would like to have a small get together for Em…._Just _family."

"You're no fun…but I guess I can't make you party if you don't feel like it."

Edward and I discussed it, _which was the most we spoke to each other in a day and a half_, and decided to have Em's birthday be on the tenth. It may have been shallow, but I didn't want her birthday after mine - I wanted to think Edward and I were both sixteen when she was born, even if it was only for a few days.

Esme offered her house for the party, but I wanted to keep it small so it wouldn't be overwhelming for Em, so we decided to do it at Charlie's house. We decorated and got balloons which quickly became a new obsession for Em. She had never seen anything more magical than a balloon, and I loved the look on her face as she tried to figure out what they were.

She also had her first taste of sugar…

"Every one year old needs cake and ice cream," Renee insisted.

Em tried the ice cream first and definitely didn't like the temperature, but the cake made her face distort in a way that would have made me swear it was sour.

"Yeah, that's nasty, isn't it," Edward said playfully to her, but then she smiled and reached for him with her messy hands, wiping frosting all over his neck and face.

"I don't know, looks kind of good to me," I said with a giggle.

All and all the party was a success and I was happy we did it, but after everyone went home, Edward and I had another setback.

"So, tomorrow's Monday…and I've decided I'm going to start school," I told him hesitantly. I wanted Edward to be prepared….well, I wanted Edward to see how serious I was and decide to come with me.

"Well, I'm going to take Em to my mom's house for the day then. She had a playground constructed in the yard for her," he said emotionlessly.

"Oh, ok," I said quietly. "Um, well since I'm turning eighteen in three days, my dad said that if I pass both the written exam and the driver's test, I'll be able to skip the permit stage and get my license right away…So I can just go straight there and pick you both up after school every day after that…I mean, unless you decide to come with me to school, then we can just go together."

"I'm not going to school!" he shouted unexpectedly. "You and my mother can put your little heads together and plot a way to get me to go all you want, but it's not going to happen. Jeeze Bella, I can't believe how easily you're influenced."

I wasn't going to have that argument with him again, so I just walked into the other room, hoping that he'd follow and leave his bitterness behind him…except he didn't follow.

"I think I'm going to go home."

I turned back to him. "Your mom said you could stay later today because of the party and all. Charlie told her he'd bring you home after Em goes to bed."

"Yeah, well, it's been a long day, and Em will probably fall asleep sooner than normal."

"I don't want you to go," I said quietly.

"I'll be back later."

"Ok," I whispered, realizing he just needed some time to cool down from our argument.

But that night the typical North Western moist evening turned into a full down pour, and regardless of my desire to have Edward there with us, I needed him safe even more so I called his house before it got too late.

"I don't think you should come tonight."

"Why?" he asked guardedly.

"Edward, look outside, it's pouring."

"I don't care about the weather."

"But I do. I have school in the morning anyway, so…I'll just have Charlie drive us there to drop Em off before he takes me."

He was silent for a minute, and then his heavy breath whistled through the receiver. "Fine," he said and then hung up without say goodbye.

I didn't like the wedge that seemed to weasel itself between us, but I didn't know how to remove it either. I honestly felt going to school was the right thing to do, and Edward would just need to get used to the idea before he could be comfortable with it. I wished he would go with me, but he was right, he could easily pass the test for his GED and go straight to a JC. He didn't need the credits or the extra time to study and be tutored, but I did, and I needed to prove to Em and to myself that society wasn't as horrifying as I was expecting.


	23. Looking Down

Chapter 23 – Looking Down

"Everything she needs is in here," I said to Edward awkwardly while handing him the diaper bag.

"I know how to take care of her, Bella," he replied irritated.

"I know," I said quickly. "I'm just…" My nose started tingling and heat flooded my face, but I refused to cry. If I started crying then I knew I wouldn't stop and I'd never be able to go to school.

Thankfully, like every other time I needed him, Edward could see my distress and he put his anger aside to wrap his arms around me securely. "Everything will be ok," he whispered supportively, even if we both knew he didn't believe it.

I buried my face into his shirt and wished more than ever that he wasn't wearing one. I needed to feel his skin pressed against mine; it was my safe place, the only way I truly felt whole. "Can we have sex before I go?" I murmured desperately.

He laughed halfheartedly. "Your dad is waiting right there for you."

_Oh, right._ "So…he'll continue to wait."

"I think we've taken advantage of his understanding nature enough already."

"You're probably right," I agreed.

"You'll be back around lunch, right?" he asked as if he was legitimately uncertain.

I nodded and hugged him tighter, and like all the other times we embraced in that way, Em came up and hugged my leg to be part of it.

I didn't want to go.

I couldn't leave them.

But I had to be strong.

"It's just four hours," I told us. "I'll be back before you even have a chance to miss me."

I picked Em up and kissed both her cheeks along with her nose and forehead, and then leaned in to kiss Edward.

"Four hours," I said again.

"Four hours," he repeated.

Edward took Em from me and then I forced myself to leave, but the entire way to the school I was coming up with all the reasons why it was a mistake.

"Kid, I have to tell you, I have no idea if this is the right thing to do right now or not, but….I'm really proud of you either way," Charlie said unexpectedly. "I know this can't be easy for you, but you're doing what you feel is right, and there's nothing more respectable than that."

"Thanks dad," I said sincerely.

Charlie's words were just what I needed to hear to push myself forward. Edward and Em would be there waiting for me when I was done, and as long as I kept reminding myself that, I knew I would be ok.

But as I walked through the campus towards my first class, I suddenly felt like an oddity as virtually everyone I passed turned to stare at me. So I kept my head down, and prayed I didn't bump into anyone.

_What the hell was I doing there?_

Every few steps or so I'd look up and cautiously try to remember my way around or recognize a friendly face, but all the halls looked foreign and the people were just strange featureless beings which I couldn't differentiate one from another. Nothing was familiar, and as hard as I tried, I just couldn't recall anything more than random flashes of my time there.

My life didn't begin until arriving on the island, so trying to remember anything before was like trying to recall something from a forgotten dream.

"Bella?" someone asked gently. I looked up to see a girl that I was sure that I knew, but I couldn't remember her name.

"Hi," I said with a friendly smile.

"Hey, how are you? Um…I'm so glad you're ok," she said sweetly and somewhat shyly. She looked like she wanted to hug me but held back, probably because she wasn't sure I would be receptive to that kind of contact.

"Thanks…How have you been?" I asked, not knowing what else to say.

She smiled. "Good. The faculty here announced that you might be coming back, but they weren't sure when…Um, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but you look a little lost. Do you want me to show you to your first class?"

I swallowed hard and curiously had to fight back tears. "That would be great, thank you."

I handed her my schedule so she would know where to lead me, and thankfully she didn't ask too many questions on our way there.

"So, um, I know we weren't really friends anymore the last time we saw each other, but…we were close once and I was really happy when I heard you were ok, so if you need anything at all….I'll be around."

I nodded with another smile. "Thanks…." _Damn, what was her name?_

"Angela," she said, sensing my stupidity.

"Angela Webber!" I remembered suddenly.

"Yeah," she said with a slight giggle.

"Thanks Angela, I really appreciate your help."

Angela left me at my first class, and I really hoped to see her later; she seemed like a genuinely good person and I was an idiot for ever throwing away her friendship, though at the moment, I couldn't remember why exactly that had happened.

My first class was extremely uncomfortable as I heard snickers and tried to dodge curious glares, but since I was in a lower level elective class, most of the kids were freshmen and sophomores so I didn't recognize them and didn't worry that I should either. But it all went downhill from there. On my way to my second class I was looking down again as I walked through the halls, and clumsily ran right into an opened locker making everyone in the area stop and laugh at me. And as if that was humiliating enough, I then tripped over someone's backpack while heading to my next seat, making me fall down to my hands and knees like a little kid. No one helped me up, _not that I wanted anyone to_, and no one asked if I was ok; the room just fell dead silent as they all watched the strange island girl try to navigate her way to the back of the room. But none of that was nearly as bad as what happened during break when I had my first truly unpleasant reunion.

I saw her before she saw me, and unfortunately I did remember her name and I was seriously hoping to hide before she spotted me, except…

"Oh my god, Bella!" Jessica Stanley shouted excitedly before running over and hugging me…which I was definitely not prepared for. I wasn't skittish and afraid of physical contact or anything, but for whatever reason, Jessica's hug made me cringe a little. "I overheard Angela mentioning that you were back. I'm Jessica, by the way."

"Yeah, I know. We've been friends since kindergarten," I said slowly, wishing for a way to escape her presence. From what I remembered about Jessica, her and my mother had very similar personalities and I wasn't sure I could handle that at the moment.

"Oh, I know, I was just reminding you. Anyway, I'm so excited you're here! Just look at us, together again and seniors, huh? Remember we always used to talk about how excited we were to become seniors. And here we are."

"Well, technically I'm not a senior, I don't have enough credits," I told her emotionlessly.

"Oh, well, you know what I mean. Anyway, I have to tell you, when the school announced that you were alive and coming home, we automatically nominated you for prom queen even though Eric pointed out that you might not be so hot anymore because of your time on the island without any real food. But you look great, so no worries."

"I don't want to be prom queen," I said robotically. _Going to school was definitely a bad idea._

She laughed. "Don't be silly, _everyone_ wants to be prom queen."

I really didn't have the patience to stand there and argue with her, so I changed the topic. "So, how have you been, Jess?" I asked, not caring in the least but trying to pretend that I did so I could just nod occasionally and otherwise zone out.

Jessica did exactly as I was expecting, and proceeded to list every single guy she dated in chronological order. God, she was annoying, but the worst part was knowing that Jessica had been my best friend which meant that I was probably just like her before the island. I was humiliated for myself.

"So, enough about me, I actually came over here to let you know that I was totally going to come visit you at your house sooner but I thought you'd need some time to get settled and everything…you know, relearn how to use technology and such," she said with shallow regret.

"That's fine, I appreciate it," I told her.

I was actually very glad she didn't come for a visit sooner; I really doubted I could have handled her before my new determination to fit back into society. But I did wonder how everyone seemed to know about what had happened. Was our return in the paper, on the news, the internet? However the case, I was just glad we were never bombarded with news reporters, that would have really scared Em. Come to think about it, I bet Charlie threatened them all to stay away. We were so lucky to have him on our side.

"You know….there have been a lot of really strange rumors about the time you were gone," Jessica said unexpectedly.

Esme had mentioned 'gossip', so I became curious and decided to push Jess a little to see what she had heard.

"What kind of rumors?" I asked her.

"Well, for starters, people are saying you turned to cannibalism to survive. Is that true?"

I didn't know whether to laugh or be seriously disturbed. "I did eat worms; I guess that's similar," said sarcastically.

She nodded. "That's horrible. But even worse than that, people are saying you had a baby."

Uh… "Yeah, I could see how having a baby would be worse than cannibalism."

"Well, is it true?"

"Yes."

"Oh wow, that's crazy! So did you put it up for adoption or something, 'cause I haven't seen it?"

"You haven't seen me so how would you see my daughter?"

"Well I'm seeing you now."

I rolled my eyes. I couldn't have been that stupid, could I? The thought made me angry and ashamed of myself even more.

"Yes, I had a baby, and no I didn't put her up for adoption."

"Oh, well that's cool; you're just like an episode of 'Teen Mom' mixed with 'Gilligan's Island'," she joked. "But…uh…who's the dad?"

I seriously wanted to pull my hair out. Why was I even standing there speaking to her? I could actually feel myself losing brain cells by just being in her presence, but I had to admit, I did become slightly more confident with myself at the same time – If someone as stupid as Jessica could graduate, then I certainly should be able to handle it.

"Who do you think?"

"Jacob? Or did you actually have sex with Mike on that trip?"

_Jacob? Mike?_ - It took me a minute to remember the faces behind the familiar names, and then I lost my patience.

"Ok, first of all, neither of them were on the island with me!"

"But you had to have gotten pregnant before, right? I mean, who else could have knocked you up?" she interrupted me. "Oh…Natives?"

"_Edward_ is my daughter's father!" I snapped at her.

"Edward who?"

For crying out loud. "Edward Cullen."

"Wait, that chubby science geek? When did you have sex with him…and _why _would you?" she asked disturbed.

"We had sex on the island, and I did it because I wanted to." I tried to walk away from her, but she just followed me.

"Wow, I mean I heard about getting drunk and screwing a freak, but wow. You know, I actually forgot he was even on the island with you. Was he rescued too? God, I feel so bad for you."

"You feel bad because I was on the island, or because I had sex with Edward?"

"The sex thing. I'm sure the island was just like an extended vaca, right? I mean, Lauren got drunk once and thought she was sleeping with a nine, and then when she woke up the next day the guy wasn't even a four. God, it took her like a month to get over it."

"You know, sometimes sex isn't just about physical lust," I snapped at her, and then I struggled to regain my composure. "Not that it's any of your business, but Edward and I went through a lot together, ok."

She nodded apologetically. "Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it….But now that you're back you can put it all behind you. There's a party on Friday, and…."

Ok, I had enough of the conversation. I didn't say anything, she wasn't worth my breath, I just walked toward the bathroom hoping she'd get the hint and leave me alone.

"Ok, we'll talk more later!" she called after me.

I finally understood Edward's protests about returning to school, but then again, I always knew he was the smarter one of the two of us. High school was full of morons, and I was an even bigger one for thinking I could handle it.

"Bella?" Angela said gently as she came into the bathroom. "Sorry, I saw you with Jessica before coming in here. Are you ok?"

"Yeah," I said with a deep breath. "I'm just really not sure why I decided to come back here," I said honestly.

"I can't imagine what you're going through right now," she said softly. "But, don't let people like Jessica Stanley get to you."

"Why are you being nice to me?" I asked her. "I mean, I was just like Jessica before and I'm sure I wasn't very nice to you, so why are you trying to help me?"

"We were friends once…and even though we grew apart, I always hoped we could be friends again someday. Besides, it really has nothing to do with friendship; I would try to help anyone."

I nodded. "I bet you would."

"Hey, I usually hang out at the picnic tables over by the portables with a few of my friends, do you want to join us."

"Thanks," I said sincerely.

Angela's friends were a lot like her, nice and quiet. I could definitely handle being around them, and I was grateful Angela offered the invitation.

When the bell rang, Angela walked me to my third class of the day, and offered to give me a ride home after my fourth and final class was finished.

"I don't want you wasting your lunch break to take me home," I told her graciously.

"Oh, I don't mind, I was going to run to a drive through anyway, the food here is horrible."

"Thanks, but Renee is supposed be picking me up."

"Oh, ok, well if you want a ride tomorrow just let me know."

"Thanks," I said again.

After my first official day of school was done, I waited for Renee in front of the school, but of course she was ten minutes late. Ten minutes of my Edward and Em time that was wasted because of my harebrained mother.

"Sorry baby, time just got away from me," Renee said casually.

"It's ok," I mumbled.

"So, how was it?"

"Fine."

"Not much in a talking mood, huh?"

"Not really, I just want to get to Em and Edward," I said honestly.

We couldn't get to the Cullen house fast enough, and thankfully, the moment our car pulled up, Edward was in the doorway with Em in his arms.

"Mama!" she shouted at me excitedly.

"Hi baby!" I said, nearly crying from how happy I was to see them. I was pretty sure Edward was expecting me to take Em from him, but instead I left her in his arms and wrapped my arms around both of them. "I missed you guys so much."

I moved my hand under Edward's shirt to reach my safe place, and I felt like I could finally breathe again after spending half a day drowning.

I couldn't do it again.

I had to tell everyone that I just wasn't ready; I went, I tried it, but I didn't want to go back.

"Are you hungry? My mom made lunch," Edward said as he led us inside the house.

"Actually, I am pretty hungry," I realized.

"Oh, Bella, how was your first day?" Esme asked warmly as we walked into the kitchen.

"Uh…it was fine, but it was a bit more overwhelming than I was expecting."

"You know, I was concerned that you'd spend the day worrying about Em, so I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty to buy a few cell phones."

Huh?

"They were having this wonderful 'Family Share Deal' going on, so I got four phones with unlimited minutes between them, that way you'll be able to call and check on Em during any part of the day." She handed me what looked like a mini rectangular TV screen.

"This is a phone?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah, it's the latest…It even has Skype so you can see Em as well. I've already talked to the school and they agreed that you could use the phone anytime you need to, you just have to step outside."

"Wow, that's awesome," I said halfheartedly.

"Oh, and all the contacts are already put in there for you. The number to Edward's phone, mine, and Renee's are all in the contacts."

"Renee's?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah, well I gave her the fourth….She said she didn't have one and I figured she seems like the type of person who likes to talk," she said with a little giggle. "Plus, if Edward can't watch Em for whatever reason, Renee and I will be taking turns with her so it's good if we all have phones."

Crap. How was I supposed to tell her that I didn't want to go back to school after she went to all that trouble?

"Thank you, Esme, I really appreciate it," I said sincerely.

"Anything to give you peace of mind," she said with a smile. "Well, have a good lunch."

"You're not going to stay to eat with us?" I asked her.

"No, you guys need some family time," she said before grabbing her keys. Em had toddled into the adjoining sitting room to play with what looked like a plethora of new toys, so Esme went to kiss her head before heading out the door.

"So….How'd it go?" Edward asked me uncomfortably after a minute.

I shrugged. "I've had better days…But I guess it wasn't horrible." I reached for him again, and moved my hands right under his shirt. "I hate your clothes."

"Well I'm still wearing my dad's old stuff," he said defensively, misunderstanding my comment.

"No, I don't mind _what_ you're wearing….just that you're wearing clothes at all," I clarified.

"Oh….You know, we could always move to a nudist colony," he joked.

I shook my head. "No, I don't want anyone else to see you naked….and I certainly don't want anyone else to see me naked."

"Why not? You look incredible naked," he said straight faced.

I laughed. "You only think that because you've never seen another naked woman to compare me to."

"I'm not admitting to anything, but I may have seen a few 'Play Boy's in my time."

"Is that right?" I said with a giggle.

He shrugged playfully. "But you definitely have a great body."

"Well, if you're good, I may let you touch me later…and by touch me, I mean _all _of me," I said with a wink.

"I'm good now….Hell, I've been good all morning," he said eagerly. "I would have been good last night if you didn't tell me I couldn't come over."

"It was pouring out. If you had come and gotten sick or hurt, it would have been a lot longer before we could have been 'good' together," I said suggestively.

"Well, what if it's pouring tonight as well?"

I huffed at the thought. "Then I guess we better hope Em takes a nap soon so it won't be so hard if we have to miss each other another night."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Whatever," he mumbled.

"What?"

"What happened to you not being able to sleep without me?" he asked sourly.

"I can't, but I'd rather have you alive," I told him strongly.

"Oh please. With all that we survived, do you really think a little rain is going to slow me down? We never stayed inside when it rained on the island."

"That was different."

"How so?"

"Because, one, there were no cars to potentially run you over, two, there was no bike to slip down a cliff, and three, there was no flu to make you sick."

"One, there aren't many cars at midnight, two, I can always walk if you're that worried about it, and three, rain doesn't cause the flu."

"Edward, just….please don't come if it's raining," I said seriously.

"It's always raining here, especially this time of the year; I guess that means I won't be coming at all anymore."

I bit my lower lip anxiously. I hated not sleeping next to him, but nothing was more important to me than his safety. It was only for nine more months anyway, and then he'd be eighteen and we could live together permanently.

"We'll still see each other during the day."

"Oh you mean, after lunch time for a couple hours until Charlie takes you and Em back to his place for the night," he said bitterly. "I'm sure you'll even start using that time to do your homework as well. Yeah, that's plenty of time together."

"Edward, please, can we just not fight today. I _really_ haven't had a good day and all I want to do is be here with you and Em, but not like _this_."

"Well, this is how it is," he said stubbornly.

"Ok, well how much longer are you going to be mad at me for? Because I do have homework and I'd rather be doing that then fighting with you."

"Why don't you do that then," he said before storming out of the room.

I sat there for a few minutes and just stared at the wall completely flabbergasted. How the hell did we already get into a fight? I had only been there all of ten minutes. I was upset, and angry, and confused, but most of all, I was scared. I didn't know how to get back what we lost when we left the island, and I was worried we'd never find that level of happiness again.

I really, really, hated civilization.

* * *

*****A/N**: Ok, all my angst worriers - I know, more angst and drama than you were expecting, but as my regular readers know, I do tend to pile on the emotions in my stories LOL. Anyway, have no fear because a big change in the right direction is coming….and yes, I promise, as with ALL my stories, this too will have an HEA (not much longer now *tear*).


	24. love'

Chapter 24 – 'love'

I'd like to think it was determination, but maybe it was guilt, or maybe it was even out of spite, but whatever the reason, I decided to continue with school.

My second day was actually a lot better than my first. I still got curious nosey stares, but not nearly as many, and I didn't have any embarrassing accidents. I also knew exactly where to meet Angela and her friends during break so I didn't feel quite so alone, and when I got home that afternoon, Edward and I didn't argue….well, we didn't really speak either.

But on Wednesday it was my birthday, and it also marked the beginning of a whole new chapter in my life.

"Happy birthday," Charlie said with a smile after knocking on my bedroom door. He had a wrapped gift for me, which made me sigh.

"I thought we agreed; no gifts."

"You agreed, I never agreed to that. Besides, you've been gone and I'm not about to miss another birthday."

He got me a camera, which was actually perfect but made me sad knowing I'd never have baby pictures of Em. I would never regret a moment of our time on the island…I just wished there would have been a way to take pictures of her and remember those days forever.

"Thanks dad," I said sincerely.

"Well, I hope you enjoy it," he said with a grin. "Now, hurry and get ready to come down, you have a visitor."

A visitor?

I couldn't help but get excited. Edward loved gifts, so I had a feeling he thought up something sweet or thoughtful because that was always the kind of thing be brought me.

I rushed through getting dressed, carelessly pulled my hair through a ponytail, and quickly changed and dressed Em before hurrying down the stairs….except, it wasn't Edward.

Seeing the unexpected visitor made me freeze in place and automatically curl into Em. Was I subconsciously trying to protect her, or was I looking for her protection?

"Hey Bella, how are you?" His deep husky voice was emotional, and I was surprised to see tears building in his eyes.

"Jacob?" I questioned, because to be honest, I wasn't quite sure.

He smiled and nodded. "Wow, your daughter is beautiful, she looks just like you."

I smiled back politely. "Thanks, but I think she looks more like Edward."

His smile faded just slightly. "I didn't mean to come here and make you uncomfortable, I just wanted to say hi and happy birthday." He handed me a huge bouquet of flowers that I didn't even notice he had been holding.

"Um…thank you."

"I'll give Em breakfast, why don't you two go out on the porch to talk for a few minutes," Charlie said while taking Em out of my arms.

"I have to get ready for school," I said in an almost panic. What the hell was Charlie thinking, trying to give me alone time with Jacob? It was just odd.

Charlie pulled me to the side. "Look, he's been asking to come over and see you since he found out you were home. He really took it hard when we all thought you were killed; behind me and your mom, he took it the hardest. You two may have been just kids when you were together, but he still cares about you very much and the least you could do is talk to him."

"I'm with Edward."

"I know that, and so does he. He's not here to woo you; he knows you and Edward are committed and have a child together."

"Then why is he here? And if he doesn't want to 'woo' me, then why did he bring flowers?" I asked getting agitated.

"Because it's your birthday and he's a nice kid. Long before you were…a couple, or whatever, you were very good friends, just try to remember that."

"I don't need any friends," I said stubbornly.

"I think you do and you just don't know it…Come on Em, let's get some breakfast."

"Traitor!" I whisper-yelled. So much for Charlie always being on my side of things. UHG!

Not knowing what else to do, I reluctantly walked back over to Jacob. "So…how have you been?"

He laughed. "I'm not the one that was stranded on an island for two years, how have you been?"

"Good. Better than good. In fact, I wish I was still there," I admitted a little too enthusiastically.

"Oh…cool. Hey, why don't we go sit on the porch swing like we used to. I brought some of my Aunt Emily's muffins that you always loved so much."

"I really don't have a lot of time; I have to get over to the Cullens to drop Em off."

"Oh, your dad said that you don't usually head over there until around 8."

"Yeah."

"It's barely six. He said if I come over this early we should have time to…you know, talk."

Crap. "What do you want to talk about?" I asked hesitantly.

He shrugged. "I still care about you Bella; I just want to make sure you're doing ok."

"I'm fine."

"Really?" he asked skeptically.

"Yeah, really," I lied.

He laughed. "You know, you still do that thing when you lie."

"What thing?" I asked insulted.

"That thing where you raise your left brow just the tiniest bit every time you're dishonest. I'm actually kind of glad; it makes me feel like I still know you a bit."

I scowled at him, I couldn't help it, he was absolutely pissing me off.

"Whoa, and there's pissed Bella."

"Shut up!" I snapped.

"And there's bitchy Bella…she was always one of my favorites."

I forced myself to calm down. "So you know my moods, what's your point? Did you honestly come over here to try to prove the fact that you have always been able to push my buttons?"

"No, Bella, I just came to see my best friend," he said sincerely. "And I'm glad you're still you."

"Well, maybe I don't want to still be me anymore!" I shouted, taking us both aback. "I know the kind of person I was and I don't want to be that anymore."

"And what kind of person were you?"

"The horrible kind! The kind of idiot that thought I was better than everyone and enjoyed making others feel badly about themselves. The kind of moron that would make fun of someone because they were overweight or couldn't swim. I don't want to be that kind of person ever again, so don't come here and tell me that I'm the same person!"

My emotional outburst had opened a floodgate of deep worries which I had kept so bottled up that I never really knew were there. It may have sounded like a copout, but the truth was that I didn't even think about the type of hostile relationship Edward and I had before the island. That wasn't who we were together, and I never even considered it to be an issue…But by seeing people like Jessica, and hearing Jacob say that I hadn't changed, it finally got to me.

I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. I knew I hated the person I was before, but I never knew the extent of it until that moment and I never realized the fear behind it either. I never wanted my daughter to see that pathetic side of me, and I feared that one day she'd learn the truth…that I was a bully….and Edward was one of those innocent kids that I unleashed my cruelty on. How could she forgive me knowing what I had done to people like her daddy…how could Edward really forgive me? Maybe he couldn't…maybe that was the truth behind his recent anger. Being back in civilization probably reminded him of all the horrible things I had said and done to him. What if Edward held grudges after all? What if he really did hate me and just felt trapped because we had Em together?

"You know, the Bella I remember is someone who was feisty and stubborn…but also fun and thoughtful. Maybe there was a short time when you were hanging out with the wrong people and did some things you weren't proud of…but that wasn't who you were," Jacob said unexpectedly.

Angela had said something similar, but it didn't make me feel any better. The fact that I was capable of so much ugliness made my stomach turn…especially considering the fact that Edward had been one of my targets. My Edward, my daughter's father, the man who was so strong and took care of me on the island, the person who saved my life more than once…the thought of anyone being cruel to him made me beyond livid that I couldn't see straight, but what was I supposed to do with all that anger directed towards myself?

"You know, I planned to cheat on you," I blurted out. Jacob was sitting there trying to make me feel better about myself like a good friend would, but we weren't friends and I wanted him to know just what a horrible person I had been.

"Huh?"

"With Mike Newton…On the Marine Biology trip. Don't you see what a horrible person I am? I figured I'd sleep with Mike and then decide later whether I wanted to break up with you or not."

"Well….that…sucks." We sat there silently for a few unbearably long minutes before he sighed. "Did you ever love me, Bella?"

"What?" I asked, unsure if I heard him right.

"I mean honestly, we never had sex, we hardly kissed, and holding hands was a laughable event. Did you ever love me?"

"We weren't together all that long," I said absently.

"Two years," he contradicted me.

I was completely flabbergasted. Had I really been with Jacob just as long as I was with Edward, maybe even longer? It didn't seem possible.

"I've been with Edward for almost two years as well," I told him. But my relationship with Edward was never really defined; we didn't have a real starting date because time didn't exist on the island, so in a way, I felt like I had been with Edward for decades.

He nodded. "But you still didn't answer my question. Did you ever love me?"

I bit my bottom lip and apologetically shook my head no. "Not the way I should have. I think I always had more of a friendship kind of affection for you. I'm really sorry, Jacob."

"I'm not here looking for apologies."

"Then why are you here?" I asked, wondering what the hell made me tell him anything at all.

"Look, don't get pissed ok, but Charlie was hanging out with my dad at my place, and I overheard how worried he is about you. I mean, I wanted to come visit you, but I also thought maybe you'd open up a bit to me."

"Charlie was worried about me?"

"Yeah, he said he could tell your relationship with Edward was having a hard time adjusting, and we both thought maybe I could help. I mean, despite having more….platonic feelings for each other, we were pretty good at leaning on each other. You were always the person I went to with my issues. Besides, I can give you something no one else can."

"And what's that?"

"An unbiased opinion. I'm someone who doesn't really know Edward, so you can say whatever you need to and never have to worry that it'll get back to him."

"But…we used to be together, so this is all…"

"I never loved you either," he interrupted me. "I mean, I cared about you as a friend, still do…the best friend I ever had, but we weren't right for each other romantically. We were so young, we were more like brother and sister than a couple."

I laughed halfheartedly. "Yeah, that's a good way to describe it."

"I mean, it sucks you were planning to go behind my back and all, but I'm not heartbroken over it. Now, if my current girlfriend did that…"

"You have a girlfriend? Do you _love_ her?" I asked with a childish grin.

"Yes…but we're not talking about me here. Do _you_ love Edward?"

It was such a simple question, and yet I couldn't give it a simple answer. "Edward and I were…._everything _to each other. He was my family, my friend, my lover, and at times we fought like crazy…but eventually…those different types of relationship definitions faded away until we were just who we were. We would joke that we were married, but…we didn't need titles, we didn't have to put anything into words. It was like…did you ever hear those sayings 'without suffering, there would be no compassion' and 'without hate, there wouldn't be love'?"

"Yeah, I guess," he said, but looked confused.

"Well…on the island…there was no suffering or hate, so there was no need for verbal compassion or declarations of love. I mean, we felt it, but it was so unlike the normal definitions of the words. The island was just this magical place that didn't fit with the rest of the world, so we didn't have a normal vocabulary to properly describe how we felt on it. I don't think I've even told Em that I love her."

"But do you feel the same way now that you're back?"

"Things are definitely so much harder here…and we've both changed since being back. I can't read his thoughts anymore, he's just so…distant."

"But do you love him?" he pressed.

"Why are you asking me this?" I asked, wondering why he cared so much, especially considering that I had just admitted my planned betrayal of him.

"Because, I think when you truly love someone, you have to love all of them. Even the parts you don't particularly like so much."

I thought about Edward, and even though I knew I felt stronger for him than anyone else, I wasn't sure it was 'love'. Love was so…basic. Love was something that came and went and never seemed to last forever - my parents were proof of that. Love was an invention of civilization that came nowhere close to describing my feelings for Edward, which was exactly the reason why I never thought to tell him that I felt that way for him.

But it seemed civilization would be our permanent home, and in civilization there wasn't a word greater than 'love', so without having a better way to describe my feelings for him, I supposed I would have to say yes… "I do love Edward."

Jacob nodded. "I also believe love can bring the best out of someone. So maybe you were headed down a path that wasn't so great before and Edward was just able to bring the best back out of you. I know you're not a bad person."

"Yeah, how do you know that?"

"Because if you were then you'd never admit it. Only good people feel remorseful of their actions. And if it's any help, I forgive you for the cheating."

"Thanks Jake…and thanks for coming over. I have no idea how or why you were able to get me to talk about all of this, but I appreciate it."

"Well, sometimes we need to talk to someone in order to sort out all our thoughts and feelings."

I nodded. "I just wish I could talk to Edward like this."

"Why can't you?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. We've never…I mean, we have a very deep relationship, but we never spoke deeply about it. I guess it just goes with everything I was saying before. We didn't need to have long winded conversations about our thoughts and desires, because everything was right there in front of us. We were living what we were feeling. We didn't need to say what we wanted, we'd just do it….we didn't need to tell each other how we felt, we'd just show it."

"Well maybe you need to find a balance of both. Sometimes the words are good to hear, especially in a place that isn't so…innocent and honest."

Jacob was right, I needed to have a real conversation with Edward. I needed to tell him how I was feeling because with so many people around, I couldn't always show him. I guess words were important after all, and despite being terrified that Edward carried some deep rooted resentment towards me from our time before the island, I needed to tell him out loud how much I 'loved' him….though that word would still never be descriptive enough.

I thanked Jake again, and we made tentative plans to get our significant others together for a double date, though I doubted Edward would ever really agree to something like that.

But however helpful our conversation was, it had definitely lasted longer than I anticipated and I was about to be late for school.

I hated doing it, but I asked Charlie to drop me off before bringing Em to the Cullen's.

I quickly kissed Em goodbye, and then kissed my dad's cheek."Thanks dad," I said with a bittersweet tone.

"For what?"

"For meddling."

Charlie was definitely not a meddler, but him having Jake talk to me was exactly what I needed.

"I just knew you could use someone to talk to…I mean, I'm a good listener, but there are things that I just don't want to know."

I laughed. "And there are things I definitely don't want to tell you."

I blew a kiss and waved at Em, then had to rush to my first class. I spent that entire period being pissed that I had missed Edward that morning, and I seriously considered blowing off the rest of my classes to go have that much needed discussion with him. But since Renee was late that first day, Angela had been giving me a ride home so I had no way to leave early….and it seemed even Angela wasn't as reliable as I was hoping.

"Hey, happy birthday," Angela said to me at break.

"Thanks," I said uncomfortably.

"Listen, I hate to do this, but I have a mandatory student council meeting at lunch. I can skip my fifth period to bring you home afterwards."

"Oh…" CRAP. I wanted to go home to Edward right that moment, but now it seemed I wouldn't get to go until _after_ lunch? It just wasn't fair. "That's fine, I can wait…but I don't want you missing class."

"Don't worry about it, it's just my TA period. I can miss it without a problem."

"Ok. Thanks."

When my classes we finally done for the day, I tried to spend lunch break hiding in the computer lab hallway because I figured no one in that area of the school would bother me, except…

"Bella, there you are!" Jessica Stanley shouted at me. "I have been looking for you all day." _Oh, lord help me_. "Happy birthday!" she said with a huge grin as she handed me a gift.

"Um…thanks."

"Open it," she said eagerly.

"Oh, ok." I opened the small tissue wrapped gift and had to force myself not to roll my eyes. It was a shot glass that read 'Girls Gone Wild'.

"You're officially legal!" she shouted.

"Yeah…" I said with forced enthusiasm. "But I won't be legally allowed to drink until I'm twenty one," I told her slowly.

"Oh…right, I forgot," she replied. "Anyway, I'm glad I found you for another reason. I just told Angela that I'm going to drive you home today because she's going to be later than she thought, but I have to make a stop first."

"Wha…no…" I said, but before I could properly protest she had grabbed my arm and began pulling me across campus. I had no desire to be driven home by her, and even less of a desire to go with her wherever she was going. But then I remembered that if Angela couldn't take me then I had no other ride, so I grudgingly went with her. "Where are we going?"

"Tryouts," she said without stopping. "I'm on Yearbook, so I just need to take some pics before I can take you home."

She pulled me into the gym, and although I seriously thought about running away from her and walking home, I figured with the steady rain I'd probably not be able to make it to the Cullen's before dark and I couldn't wait that long to talk to Edward.

"Why are the tryouts in the gym?' I asked confused, assuming she was talking about football tryouts.

"This is Forks, if it wasn't indoors the rain would make it impossible."

But we didn't stop in the gym, we just walked through and straight to the Olympic sized swimming pool.

"Uh…."

"Oh look, there's Tyler!" she pointed out. "Hi Tyler!"

There were about fifteen guys standing around in Speedos and swim caps, and about thirty girls like Jessica ogling over them in the stands.

But as Jessica was towing me towards the other fangirls, I saw the last person I expected there…

"Bella Swan, how are you?" Mike Newton said with a sleazy grin.

I hadn't thought about Mike Newton in years, but the fact that he was there after I just admitted to Jacob that I planned on cheating on him with him, I fell into a seriously bad mood. He was disgusting, and I was even more disgusting for ever thinking he was attractive.

"Shouldn't you have graduated by now?" I asked repulsed, trying to force my stomach not to come up through my throat.

"I'm the assistant coach…which is how I stay in such good shape," he said with a wink before repulsively removing his towel to stand there in nothing but a Speedo – _Why would a coach have to wear a Speedo?_ "So, long time no see. Well, I guess I was the last person to see you before you fell off that boat, huh? God, that really sucked…But just so we're on the same page, you fell cause you got motion sickness, right?" he asked oddly.

"Um…yeah." I shook my head wondering why he'd ask me something like that, and then I turned to leave. I really had no idea how I found myself in those situations when all I wanted to do was go home.

"Bella, come sit," Jessica demanded.

"No, I really want to go home," I replied.

"I told you I'd give you a ride, but I have to take photos first. It'll only be a few more minutes."

I huffed and then grudgingly sat, but after a minute of absently watching the scene in front of me, there was a commotion amongst the bystanders and swimmers alike.

"What's going on?" I asked curiously, but not really caring at the same time.

"He's not wearing regulation!" I heard one swimmer protest.

"This is just a tryout so there's no regulation. It's in his best interest to wear the Speedo and swim cap, so if he doesn't want to then he doesn't have to," the head coach said. "Now take your marks!"

Suddenly the crowd parted and we could see what the issue was.

"Oh. My. God." Jessica said in shock.

"Holy shit!" another girl said.

"Who in Abercrombie Heavens is that?"

"I call first dibs!"

"Look at his hair…god, it looks soft."

"I really hope they don't make him cover it."

The comments from the overly horny teen girls around me continued, but their voices were just background static because all I could focus on was the fact that Edward was standing there, half naked, and ready to race….


	25. Following

Chapter 25 – Following

I had made a joke about him joining the swim team, but I never thought in a million years that he'd actually do it. Hell, I never thought he'd return to school at all, but there he was, standing on the little platform thing and ready to dive into the water.

Edward was the only competitor without goggles or a swim cap, and he was the only one who wasn't wearing a Speedo. His swimsuit was just a black standard pair of swim shorts, which weren't even tight fitting. His hair was his usual messy mop on top of his head, and I quickly realized that I wasn't the only one who found that incredibly sexy.

And his body….his perfect body put all the other guys there to shame.

"SET!" the coach called. All of the guys got into position, but Edward was uninformed of the rules and procedures of the sport so he stayed standing casually.

There was a loud noise, and suddenly the guys jumped off their platforms with their bodies in perfect tight lines as they flew through the air until they were submerged under the water, but Edward jumped in after them in a far less elegant way. I never taught him to dive, so it looked like he watched the others do it first and then he tried to copy them. It was messy, but efficient enough.

My stomach twisted in knots.

I didn't know why he was doing it, but I was nervous for him; I just didn't want anyone being mean to him and I was prepared to punch out anyone who tried. But as the race continued, the crowd started getting excited when Edward picked up speed. His late start had pushed him far into last place, but by the second lap he was more than catching up. His form was horrible and he didn't do the little underwater flip thing at the wall when changing directions, but it didn't matter, he was fast…so much faster than everyone else in the race.

By the third lap he was neck and neck with the lead swimmer, and by the last lap he was a full yard in front. He made winning look easy, and regardless of how athletic the others were, they looked slow and weak in comparison.

The crowd was going crazy, the coaches were astonished, and I was in utter shock.

"Man, think what that boy could do with a little training!" I heard the head coach say as Edward and the other swimmers got out of the pool.

"I don't know, he's really rough technically," Mike argued. "He may never have what it takes."

"I don't give a shit what his mechanics are. That kid is gold right there!" a third coach said excitedly.

Edward had yet to notice me sitting there with my mouth just as far open as all the other pathetic girls in the room, but as he took a towel from the rack, he randomly glanced back and we locked eyes.

I expected him to walk over to talk to me, I expected him to smile and shrug sheepishly, I expected him to give me a glimpse of the carefree guy that I loved so much, I expected a lot of things, but instead he kept his face hard before turning and heading into the locker room.

"Oh my god, now we can all breathe," Jessica said way too loudly. "Who was that Adonis of a man?"

"I've never seen him before," another girl replied.

I would have answered them, but something made me bite my tongue. _Did I forget how to speak?_

"I'm going to go ask Tyler," Jess said before running towards the swimmers.

Jessica was just gone for a minute before walking back with the dumbest expression on her face…and she kept her eyes glued to my forehead.

"Well, what's his name?" one of the girls asked impatiently.

"Edward Cullen," Jessica replied without breaking her stare on me.

The girls were all speechless and turned to stare at me like they were starving wolves and I was hiding a piece of meat.

"That's your baby daddy?" one finally blurted out.

"It's amazing what a little island sex can do," another chuckled.

I had no idea who any of those girls were besides Jessica, but they obviously knew me and knew my story, which made me uncomfortable and also almost territorial in a way that I never expected.

"Yes, he's my daughter's father," I said a lot more strongly than I planned. Oh god I could already feel it - the insane jealousy as the salivating skanks plotted their moves on my Edward. It was literally making me fume as hateful heat flooded my face.

I really needed to get out of there before I exploded.

"Where are you going?" Jessica asked as I walked towards the exit.

I didn't answer her, and if she got too close I may have to claw her eyes out.

I couldn't believe how I was feeling. It was stupid and irrational, and for the life of me I couldn't turn it off. I never had to worry about other girls with Edward before, and the fact that I had no idea what his motives for being there were just made it worse.

I needed to talk to him and it couldn't wait any longer, so I did the only thing I could think of, I stood outside the boy's locker room to make sure I didn't miss him.

A few guys came out first, each smiling and making stupid faces at me, but I just scowled and rolled my eyes hoping they'd get the hint to leave me alone. And then finally Edward emerged, shocking me yet again.

I wasn't sure what I thought he'd be wearing, but since I had only seen him in sweats since we left the island, I was more than pleasantly surprised to see him in perfectly fitted jeans and a black V-neck sweater. His hair was already almost dry and set in what looked like a controlled chaos, and he had a pair of expensive looking sunglasses hanging from his collar. _God, he was gorgeous_. I mean, he looked great in anything, but he was especially sexy dressed like that and it made me even more anxious. What was he doing there?

Edward and I locked eyes and then he took a few more steps closer to me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

He frowned in disapproval before shooting me his most adorable half smile. "Happy birthday."

"You decided to come to school and join the swim team as a birthday present to me?" I asked incredulously.

"No…coming here was a sort of a…last minute decision."

"Huh?" I asked confused.

Without warning, he closed the remaining distance between us and planted his mouth to mine. His kiss was once again, angry and possessive, but it also felt incredible and I almost whimpered when he pulled away.

"Ok, we need to talk," I told him, desperate to get to the bottom of whatever was going on. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to a more obscured part of the campus, and swore to myself that we wouldn't move again until everything was out in the open. "Now, what's going on?"

"Lunch is over soon, I have class," he protested lightly.

"Edward, whatever is happening between us is really terrifying me, and we can't fix it if we don't know what's wrong."

"Fine, if you want to do this here, then here it'll be…. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about this, and I've finally accepted the fact that we've grown apart," he said abruptly, making my chest constrict. "Or maybe we were never really together in the first place. I mean, we didn't choose to be on that island, we were forced there and we turned to each other out of desperation and loneliness...We would have never been together if we weren't stranded and we shouldn't have to spend the rest of our lives paying for an accident. We have responsibility to Em, but not to each other."

My heart was racing and I felt like I was going to be sick - _Was he breaking up with me? _The mere thought of not being with him anymore made me panic. "You don't know that," I argued, desperate to change his mind. "Maybe we could have gotten together a different way…forced to be partners in bio, or something. We would have found our way to each other eventually."

He shook his head slowly. "No, we wouldn't have, and that's ok… As much as I didn't want it to be true and I refused to admit it, deep down I knew the moment we returned that it was only a matter of time until we realized how wrong we are for each other."

"We're not wrong for each other," I whispered, feeling like I was being strangled and couldn't speak any louder.

"Bella, I hate everything about being away from the island. I was never like you, I never fit in anywhere, I never had friends, I never knew how to talk to people. Then we washed up on that island and it felt… right… like that was how normal should be." He took a deep breath. "When we got back I just wanted to hide away in the house and try to hold on to whatever time we had left together until the world came in and tore us apart. But it happened so much faster than I was prepared for, and you just…made this decision to return to school and I knew that was it. You were moving on…and I just couldn't so I got angry and resentful. So I made the decision to let you go."

I shook my head with tears forming in my eyes. "I don't want you to let go. I was just going to school to set a good example for Em; I was trying to move on with life, not move on from you."

"Don't," he said gently. "Don't be upset, the last thing I want to do is make you cry."

I laughed once humorlessly. "You're breaking up with me, what do you expect?"

"No, Bella, no," he said quickly but gently. "I'm not breaking up with you, and I never would."

"You're not?" I asked, feeling slightly relieved but confused more than ever.

"No…I was just explaining to you how I was feeling. I have been preparing myself for what I figured was the inevitable…you finding someone else."

"What?"

"Bella, the people we were before…"

"I don't want to be the person I was before," I interrupted, feeling completely defeated. I felt like I had been fighting my past all day, and it seemed like a losing battle.

"All I'm saying is that we were one way before, and on the island we were different. Now that we're back, we have no idea who we're going to be or if we'll still feel the same way for each other."

"So…"

"Look, since you decided to go to school, I've been trying to prepare myself for you finding someone else," he said again. "Someone who better fits the person you're going to be next. But….I thought I'd have more time with you. Today's your birthday, so I pushed all that crap to the side and decided to spend the day just…trying to make you happy. So I got up extra early and bought some doughnuts…. 'cause I remembered you saying how much you liked them.

_Oh, no…_ "Edward," I whispered, already knowing what he was going to say next. "I can explain…"

But he put his hand up to stop me.

"I bought one of everything because I had no idea what you liked, and then I strapped the box to my bike and rode it over to your place. But when I got there, you weren't alone."

_Fucking Jacob!_ – I thought to myself. "That wasn't anything."

"Can I just finish?" he asked slightly irritated. I nodded so he continued. "I had been preparing myself for you to leave me and find someone else…but when I saw you with that guy, no matter what you were doing, I got a flash of what it would be like to really lose you, and…" he shook his head slightly. "I can't do it. Bella, I can't lose you."

"You're not going to lose me…ever," I told him with a new round of tears.

"The thing is, I haven't really given you a reason to stay with me. I've been stupid and detached, but today I had a wakeup call and now I know what I have to do….I'm going to fight for you. I'm not going to just let you go or give up, I'll do whatever it takes to keep us together, and if that means going to this hell hole, then that's what I'm going to do."

"And join the swim team?" I asked absently, still in a daze from everything he just said.

He laughed. "You told me I should. Besides, the school counselor said it would look good on a college application…. It was just a lucky coincidence that tryouts were today."

"Why did you look upset when you saw me there?"

He sighed. "I didn't want you to know I was doing it. I mean, I would have told you if I made the team, but I certainly didn't want you there to watch me make a fool of myself."

"But you were angry?"

"I wasn't angry. Well….I guess today I learned something about the new civilized Edward."

I couldn't help but smile. "And what's that?"

He looked away for a minute, and then back at me sheepishly. "I'm a fairly jealous person. I really hated you there watching all those naked guys. Why were you there anyway?"

I took a deep breath then explained how I got dragged in there, which he found rather amusing. "You know, it is ok to tell people no."

"I just…I don't want to be that bitch I was before."

"There's a difference in being a bitch and just standing up for yourself."

"To be honest, I just really wanted her to take me home because I also had a revelation today, and I needed to tell you as soon as possible."

"But I was here."

"I obviously didn't know that," I said, suddenly feeling nervous again.

"You have your cell phone, right? Why didn't you just call my mom or Renee?"

I huffed. "Because I'm an idiot and that would have been the smart thing to do," I said frustrated with myself. "Talk about me leaving you? You should have seen all those girls drooling over you, it's only a matter of time before someone attractive and _smart _comes along and tries to get with you."

"Oh, Bella," he said before unexpectedly wrapping his arms around me. "When will you ever see yourself clearly?" he murmured into my hair.

My hands automatically searched out the skin under his shirt, and once again I could breathe again. As the surrealistic daze of our conversation finally began to recede, I realized just how close we had come to losing each other, and it absolutely terrified me.

"I don't care if you go to school or stay home every day for the rest of our lives, I'd never want anyone else."

"Well, we can't predict the future, but I'm done taking a passive approach to our relationship."

"I love you," I mumbled into his chest while squeezing him tighter. I didn't even plan on saying it like that, I wanted to work my way up to it and explain everything I had told Jacob, but at that moment, it just flowed out of me and felt completely natural.

And, of course, he didn't understand me because of the way my face was pressed against his shirt. "What?" he asked lightly.

I pulled back just enough to look up at him. "I love you…so much, and I realized today that I never told you that."

He smiled at me emotionally. "We never needed to tell each other that," he said unexpectedly. "We always just…showed it."

My chest tightened again, except this time it was in the best possible way. He had felt the exactly way that I had all along, which just reaffirmed that he was wrong - we were perfect for each other.

"But I love you too," he added. "And wherever you go, I'm going to follow. Whether it be to school or to the ends of the world. I'm so sorry Bella, for ever giving up, but it'll never happen again."

"I'm the one that's sorry. The way I treated you before…it's no wonder you didn't want to come back to school."

"Ok, look," he said, pulling away and holding me at arm's length. "What we were before doesn't matter, and we can't focus on our island lives anymore either. You were right to move on…and we're going to figure it all out together."

"Promise me," I challenged him, knowing he'd never back down from a promise.

He smiled. "I promise."

I grabbed him again and kissed him, which he returned passionately. It was an extremely intense kiss, but it was also happy and almost carefree at the same time. We finally talked and everything was out in the open, and I felt light and stronger than ever.

"I think lunch break ended awhile ago," he said against my lips while we continued to kiss.

I locked my hands behind his neck. "I don't have any classes after lunch," I reminded him between kisses. And then I pulled back to look at him again. "Why do you?"

He shrugged. "I figured that Em usually takes a long nap in the afternoons so it would be a good time to get some classes in while she sleeps."

Once again, I was an idiot. "Why didn't I think about that?"

"Because you've been overwhelmed and maybe even shell-shocked. You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for, but you're also so damn stubborn that you refuse to slow down even when you need to…. I've left you alone in all this, but I'm here now, and I'm going to make sure you don't completely wear yourself out. Moving on is necessary, but we can take our time with it, and we need to."

I nodded and held him again. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too," he said softly.

"Liar," I said with a smile.

"No, I am glad to be here…with you."

"I love you," I told him, thoroughly enjoying the way the words sounded on my tongue.

"I love you, too," he replied with a grin. "Now let's go to the office."

"Why?" I asked confused.

"Because I need a late slip, and you need to move your schedule around."

"Oh, what are you taking? I want to be in your classes," I said excitedly as he put his arm around my lower back and began leading us towards the office.

He smiled sheepishly and then turned his head away to try to hide it.

"What?" I pressed.

"I'm retaking Marine Bio 2."

I pulled him to a stop. "What! You're kidding, right?"

"Nope… I took Marine Bio 1 freshman year because I wanted to go on to Marine Bio 2 as a sophomore…I'm sure I would have really liked it too if I got to actually finish the class…But they did stop doing the trips because of a certain student who fell off the boat a couple years ago, so it won't be as cool."

I giggled. "Well, I took Marine Bio 1 freshman year because I found out Marine Bio 2 classes got to go on a trip," I joked. "If they're not doing the trips anymore than I have no desire to retake the class."

He shrugged. "It may be a pretty easy A for you. I mean, you lived it."

"True… and I could always aggressively persuade you to do my homework for me."

"Aggressively persuade?"

"You know, by withholding sex."

He laughed. "You could never do that, you're hornier than I am."

"Yeah…well, maybe I'll just be on top and force you to hold still by tying you up. We both know how you hate having to hold still."

"Please, you couldn't tie me up even if you wanted to. Maybe you missed the way I kicked everyone's asses in the pool just now, but trust me, I'm pure muscle baby."

"I don't have to trust you, I know from experience," I said suggestively. "Speaking of which, I'm fully expecting to get laid tonight…it is my birthday, after all."

"Actually, I have plans for tonight," he said cryptically.

"What kind of plans?" I asked anxiously.

"That's for me to know and you to find out later."

"Does it have anything to do with eels?"

"Ha, you wish."

...


	26. Together

A/N: A special Thank You to _**ysar**_ for creating a new banner! I love it

* * *

Chapter 26 – Together

After telling the office personnel that it was vital for our daughter's well being, I was successfully put into the same Marine Biology 2 class as Edward. I also moved the rest of my schedule to better match his, but we decided to officially start those new classes the following day – we had a very special one year old to spend time with before Edward's surprise evening plans.

"Say it Em," Esme whispered as she and Em met us at the front door of her house.

"Happy!" Em shouted excitedly.

"Birthday," Esme reminded her quietly.

"Bilbbay," she said with a huge smile that made her look so much like her daddy.

"Thank you baby," I said while taking her from Esme and holding her close. Charlie had already gotten her to tell me happy birthday that morning, but it seemed like Esme had been working with her on it for a while and I didn't want to dampen it.

"Happy Birthday, sweetheart," Esme said with a hug before we walked into her house.

"Thanks," I said sincerely.

"Have you had a good day so far?" she asked.

"Um…I've had a good past half hour," I said while grabbing Edward's hand. The truth was, before we talked my day sucked, but since then I felt amazing. Edward and I were happy and strongly united, and I knew we could handle whatever the future held for us because we were going to do it together.

"Well, here," Esme said with a warm smile while handing me a shoebox sized wrapped gift.

"Oh…thanks," I said slightly uncomfortable. Esme and I were better since our talk as well, but I was still a little nervous around her and had no idea what kind of present she would get me.

I slowly opened the gift, and inside I was stunned to see a vintage styled jewelry box.

"I feel horrible because I just noticed that you don't seem to really wear jewelry except for that pearl," she said apologetically. "But maybe you can put something else inside it. It was my great great grandmother's which has been passed down each generation. After Edward was born I had hoped to have a daughter next, but then my husband… Well, anyway…I hope one day you'll pass it on to Em."

"I will," I said getting emotional. "And it's beautiful, thank you." It meant a lot to me that Esme would give me something so important to her, and it definitely helped me feel like she truly accepted me as part of her family.

Esme hugged me gently, but then Edward got restless.

"Ok, ok, bonding moment is over," he said before picking up Em and grabbing my arm to lead me away from his mother.

"Where are we going?" I asked curiously.

"Upstairs," he said casually.

"I thought your mom didn't want me upstairs?"

"Yeah, well," he said carelessly as we began climbing the stairs.

"Edward," I protested.

"Oh, come on; don't let her think she's won just because she gave you some heirloom thing."

"Won? I didn't know we were in a competition."

"Life is a competition," he said with a light laugh. "And it's you, me, and Em against everyone else."

I couldn't argue with that.

We played with our daughter for a little while before she succumbed to her afternoon nap, and then we proceeded to make out on his bed like the hormone driven teenagers that we were.

"Nope, everything below the belt is off limits," he said unexpectedly when I tried to unbutton his pants.

"What? Why? Oh I get it, now who's abiding by Mrs. Cullen's rules," I teased.

"I don't give a shit about her rules, I'm saying no because I don't want to."

"Ok, what are you up to?" I asked, knowing he had to have a reason for not wanting sex.

"I'm not up to anything…..well, nothing except the fact that we need to leave soon and if we start having sex, then there's no way either of us are going to want to go."

"I'm ok with that. I'd rather have sex than go anywhere anyway."

He raised a brow as if he was considering it, and then he smiled and shook his head. "Nope, we're going out."

"Hey, I thought it was my birthday, shouldn't I get to do what I want?"

"No…nice try though."

I crossed my arms with a huff, and then sulked like a child.

"We need to be a part of society, remember?" he said before kissing my forehead. "And people in normal society go on dates."

"Fine," I said stubbornly, but once I forced myself to accept the fact that he wasn't going to have sex with me right then, I actually became excited. Edward and I had never been out on a 'date', and I couldn't wait to see what he had planned. We had a very deep relationship that stemmed from our time on the island, but this was the beginning of our 'normal' lives together. It didn't matter that dating and acting like every other teenager was shallow in comparison to what we had before, I think we both finally realized that we could have both.

Charlie picked Em and I up a couple hours later, and took us back to his place so I could get ready for my _date_…._I couldn't help but smile every time I even thought the word 'date'_.

"Are you sure you got this, dad?" I asked Charlie slightly concerned.

"You may have forgotten, I raised a little girl already," he replied like a smartass.

When the doorbell rang, I looked up at Charlie questionably. Edward wasn't supposed to arrive quite yet, so I had a feeling our visitor was there for my father.

He laughed once sheepishly. "I believe that's for me," he said while rushing to get the door. He was back in less than a minute with a beautiful woman with long dark hair. "Um…Bella, this is Sue Clearwater, Sue this is my daughter Bella."

"Hi Bella, I've heard so much about you," she said with a friendly smile and an outstretched hand.

I took her hand and shook it. "Nice to meet you," I told her, but shot Charlie a confused smirk.

"Ok, so I admit it, I was a little nervous about a late night alone with a one year old. I'm may be a little rusty on the whole diaper changing and putting to bed stuff."

I laughed. "Ok dad…But no funny business you two," I joked, suddenly feeling like I was leaving my baby with a teen babysitter and his girlfriend. But on a seriously level, I was actually really happy that Charlie seemed to be moving on with his life. I hated the fact that my disappearance had caused my parents to divorce, but the more I got to know them again, the more I realized that they were probably never right for each other in the first place. Perhaps they had only stayed together for my sake and when I was gone they didn't feel the need to keep up with the charade anymore, so in a way, my disappearance was a good thing for their relationship….at least that's what I told myself.

Edward arrived a few minutes later looking even more gorgeous than he did at school. Black pants and a grey button down – _Man, was I glad I decided to wear one of my 'Renee approved' dresses._ It was a tight black cocktail dress that made me feel completely uncomfortable but sexy at the same time.

"Wow, you look…" he let his sentence trail off.

I giggled. "You don't look so bad yourself," I said before kissing him lightly, not want to mess up my makeup. "Where did you get these clothes, anyway? I thought you said you refused to let your mom take you shopping?"

He huffed. "I didn't go shopping, so don't blame me if I look like an idiot. My mom took my cousin Alice and they just bought me a bunch of stuff."

"Do you even own a mirror in that big house?" I asked incredulously. "You definitely don't look like an idiot; you're seriously hot, and it's time you kill that low self esteem and just accept it."

"Still rather wear holey shorts," he mumbled under his breath.

Honestly, I preferred him in his holey island shorts and nothing else as well, but I wasn't about to tell him that and screw with his confidence even more. I mean, he looked gorgeous, but I'd always have a soft spot for the way he looked when we fell in love. "So…who's driving us to wherever we're going?"

"Well, I didn't have very many options."

We kissed Em goodnight, and then walked out to the awaiting car.

"Hello Ms Swan, I'll be your chaperone for the evening," Emmett said with a cheesy grin. I actually didn't mind Emmett, but the fact that Rose was in the front seat next to him made me slightly anxious. But I refused to let her or anyone else spoil the evening.

Edward and I climbed into the back seat of the very luxurious black Mercedes, and then he leaned in to whisper – "I swear, I'll have my license and a car by your next birthday, but for now just pretend they're not there."

"Hey, I heard that," Emmett said.

"You know, you could be a little more appreciative," Rose added sourly.

"I don't have to be appreciative; I paid you, this is a job so suck it up," Edward told her.

"You got paid?" Emmett asked Rose quietly.

"So…where are we going?" I asked Edward, trying my best to pretend like his hostile cousin wasn't sitting in front of me.

"It's a surprise," he replied.

"Oh, I hate surprises," I whined.

"No you don't…you only pretend like you do."

"I like surprises when it's an actual surprise and I don't know it's coming, but I hate waiting, and I really hate knowing you planned something and won't tell me."

"Don't worry love, it's a good surprise," he said while weaving his fingers into mine and moving in a way so I'd know he wanted me to lean against him.

It had been a long day and I hadn't been sleeping very well since Edward had stopped coming at night, so I undesirably found myself falling asleep to the humming of the engine and the sound of Edward's steady heartbeat. I missed everything about sleeping with him, but I certainly didn't want to fall asleep on our date.

He woke me up sometime later.

"We're here," he said softly.

"Huh? Oh sorry," I said while sitting up and wiping my face. _Oh god, please tell me I wasn't drooling!_

Edward laughed. "Don't worry, I'm used to it."

"Used to what?" I played dumb.

"Your drool," he said quietly so that Emmett and Rose wouldn't hear.

"I do not drool!" I shouted a little too loudly.

Emmett snickered so Edward responded by kicking the back of his seat, shoving him into the steering wheel.

"Ow, jerk!" Emmett complained.

"Thanks for the ride," Edward said smugly.

"Hey Edward," Rose said as he opened the door to get out.

"What?"

"You have our number for when you're ready to be picked up, right?" she asked in a strangely concerned voice.

"Yeah."

"Ok…Oh, and Edward….be careful, ok?"

"Sure mom," he said annoyed before getting out and hurrying over to open the door for me.

"What was that about?" I asked Edward as the Mercedes drove away leaving us finally alone.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Rose's comment. She doesn't strike me as the overly protective type."

He shook his head. "I swear, I have all these women around me all the time sticking their nose in where it doesn't belong; I should have just made life easier on myself and become gay….no offense."

"Don't lump me in with your mom and cousins," I said defensively.

"No, but just wait, it's only a matter of time before you start doing that shit as well. Hell, Em will be doing it too. It's my lot in life."

I giggled. "I promise, I won't be overly concerned when there's no reason to be."

"I'll hold you to that promise."

"Good… So, where are we?" I asked with a smile.

"A restaurant," he said slowly, as if it was obvious…which I guess it sort of was. "Well, we're in Port Angeles if that's what you're asking. Your dad told me your favorite was Italian food, so I decided to bring you here. It got four stars…and it's right on the water."

"Have you ever been here before?" I asked feeling slightly giddy as he held open the door for me. I couldn't even remember the last time I had Italian food, but I knew for a fact that it was my favorite type before. Plus, it was a _real_ restaurant, the kind with cloth napkins and waiters wearing ties.

Edward had made reservations so we were shown immediately to our table – a table adorned with a dozen long stem roses and petals scattered about.

"Oh, it's so beautiful," I said teary eyed. In addition to the roses, we were seated at a window overlooking the ocean and the sky above was full of pink and orange clouds, and I suddenly had a flashback. Just for a moment I was back on our island and Edward and I were sitting on our beach enjoying our solitude. I never thought back then that we'd ever be sitting at a restaurant together like that, and I suddenly felt very bittersweet about the entire thing. I missed the island, but I was slowly becoming excited about being back as well.

"Are you happy?" he asked unsure.

"Yes, I'm very happy. Thank you."

I ordered the mushroom ravioli, which I suddenly remembered was my favorite, and Edward ordered a steak, but it seemed he had also preordered a couple appetizers before we got there.

The waiter came out with a platter of raw oysters and a side of escargot.

_Uh…_

"Don't look at it like that," Edward said with a grin, already knowing I would have an issue with it.

"I get that these are a delicacy and all that but…."

"Worms Bella," he reminded me with a smirk.

He was right, nothing could be worse than worms. The shallow Bella who refused to try new things was gone, and I had Edward and the island to thank for that.

"Ok," I said, suddenly eager to taste the far too expensive -semi objectionable food. "Have you had these before?"

"Nope…but I thought it would be fun to try them together."

I smiled at him. "Together," I repeated.

We each picked up an oyster, and stared at them confused.

"How do we eat it?" I asked with a giggle.

He shrugged. "I think you're supposed to slurp it."

"Ok, on three," I said. "One. Two. Three…." We both slurped our oyster, and I was stunned by the flavor. It tasted like the ocean, which made me miss the island all that much more.

"Not bad," Edward said while nodding. "You know, they say oysters are an aphrodisiac."

"Well, we don't need them," I said suggestively. "Oh, and by the way, my pill is fully effective now."

"Check please," Edward said, even though there was no one around and we hadn't eaten our actual meals yet.

I giggled.

We forced ourselves to stay and finish our food, and even ordered dessert - Zeppole, which Edward had insisted on getting seeing how they were like doughnuts – he was still a little bitter about missing breakfast with me that morning, which I completely understood.

"Thank you for dinner, it was amazing," I told him as we walked hand in hand out of the restaurant. "Although, I do hate that you spent your hard earned allowance money on me," I teased. "I mean, what were you saving it for back then anyway?"

"Honestly?" he asked. I nodded so he sighed. "I really wanted to buy a sailboat. I never told my mom because I knew she'd flip, but I hoped that by the time I was eighteen I'd have enough money and go on a summer long sailing trip before I started college."

"Wow," I said surprised. "I never took Pre-Island-Edward as the sailing type," I said gently, not wanting to offend him.

"Well I wasn't, which is kind of why I wanted to do it. I mean, as you know, I was terrified of the water, but I also loved it and was desperate to go off on my own somewhere."

"I guess you got what you wanted."

He smiled. "Definitely."

"Oh, now I feel bad that you've been spending that money even more, especially on me," I told him.

"Are you kidding? I'm sure that if Pre-Island-Edward could have spent some of that money on dinner with you, he would have in a heartbeat… _And_ Pre-Island-Edward would have fallen over and died if he knew he was going to get laid afterwards."

I giggled again. "Oh, come on, you really thought no one would ever have sex with you?"

"No…at least not in high school. I don't know, I guess I figured I'd be one of those forty year old virgins or marry some fellow geek after college."

"And look at you now, seventeen and father of a one year old," I said before skipping around him to kiss his neck.

I hated that he had felt that way, but I knew he wasn't telling me it to make me feel sorry for him; it was a good night, and he had kept his tone light so I followed his lead and did the same.

"Come on," he said before pulling away from me but keeping his hand locked with mine.

"Where are we going?" I asked curiously as he began leading us down some dark road. "You know, my father always taught me to never go down dark alleyways, and if anyone tried to force me down one I should knee them in the balls."

"You would never knee me in the balls," he said unfazed.

"How can you be so sure?" I joked.

"Because then your next kid would come out deformed," he said casually, making me smile even bigger.

"So….can I go off birth control and get started on baby number two right away?"

"Let's get through college first."

"Fine, if we have to," I said with a laugh.

The next thing I knew, our strangely obscured path opened up into the dark but beautiful ocean right in front of us. The tiny beach was hidden from everything around it, and wonderfully felt private.

"Wow," I said before kicking off my shoes and burying my bare feet in the sand. It wasn't as soft as what we were used to, but it was still heaven. "Can we go skinny dipping?"

"I guess we could," he said while looking around to make sure no one was in viewing range. "But it would sure be cold."

"Oh, right."

Edward took off his shoes and socks as well and we walked down to the waves, and as he predicted, the water was absolutely freezing….

So we settled for sex on the beach.

It wasn't as great as the sex on our island beach was, but considering everything that had happened between us over the past few days, it was absolute magic.

After we were finished, we just cuddled and watched the moon over the water for a while, before Edward remembered something abruptly.

"God, I'm an idiot!" he said, being way too hard on himself.

"What?" I asked.

"Hold on." He dug in his coat pocket -which we had just finished having sex on – and then pulled out a rectangular box with a tiny bow on it. "I didn't wrap it…cause I don't know how and I definitely wasn't about to ask my mom."

"Edward, this whole night was more than enough," I said, wishing he didn't buy me something on top of it all.

"As much as I don't get along with my mother, we had somewhat of the same idea. This belonged to my grandma…my dad's mom. Well, it partially belonged to her….I'll explain after you open it."

I opened up the box and was surprised to see a beautiful silver charm bracelet.

"See, I bought the bracelet, but this was my grandmother's," he said of the heart-shaped diamond hanging from it.

"It's so beautiful, thank you," I said emotionally.

"Wait there's more," he said, pointing out the other charm dangling there. It was a silver starfish with a brilliant blue sapphire in the middle. "See, the heart represents me…cause well, you know, and the starfish is for Em and it has her birthstone in the middle."

I could feel the tears building in my eyes, and then they rolled over on my cheeks. I couldn't imagine a more perfect gift, and I knew I'd wear it for the rest of my life.

"It's not as glamorous as that ring I made you, but," he said jokingly.

"I love both of them….equally," I told him seriously as I looked at them together on my left hand and wrist.

We stayed there together for a little while longer, and then finally decided it was getting late and we should get back. Edward texted Rose and Emmett, _who he explained were also enjoying an evening out close by_, and then we walked back to the restaurant to wait for them.

Edward and I held hands all the way back to Forks, and when we arrived at Charlie's house, I was ecstatic but surprised when he got out with me.

"I'm sure Em is asleep by now," I told him, thinking he was planning to run in just to see her before he went home.

"No, I'm staying the night…if you don't mind. I already cleared it with Charlie."

"Forget Charlie, what about your mom?"

He shrugged.

"Edward, this isn't a good idea," Rose said, butting in to our conversation from her opened car window. "Esme is going to be pissed if we leave you here."

"Don't really care," he replied while surprising me again by pulling his backpack out of the trunk. Rose stared at him incredulously. "What? Fine, I'll text her so she knows I'm alive and not kidnapped by aliens or blood sucking demons."

"When you play with fire you're going to get burned," she told him slowly, apparently hoping to get through to him.

"And who's going to burn me, Rose?" Edward said condescendingly. "Don't worry, my mom will get over it. Thanks for the ride, you can leave now."

Rose shot me one of Esme's famous glares, and I couldn't help but wonder if Esme taught it to her. Rose was Edward's father's niece so she wasn't related to Esme by blood, but that look would make me think otherwise. She then shook her head at Edward before Emmett finally drove them away.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked him reluctantly. I wanted him to spend the night more than anything, but I was finally getting in Esme's good graces and I didn't want to ruin that either.

"Look, I had a talk with her after you left this afternoon."

"Okay?" I said slowly. But we had arrived at the front door so we decided to put off the conversation until we went inside; Em slept like a rock so I knew we'd have no trouble talking in my room with her there.

Charlie and Sue were both asleep on the couch, so I woke them gently and told them we were home so they could go to bed.

"Did you have fun?"Charlie asked groggily, but he wasn't really awake enough to expect an answer.

Edward and I went upstairs and kissed Em's angelic head, and then I waited for him to finish what he was telling me.

"It's not a big deal, I just told her that I'm not putting up with her rules anymore, so she backed off."

"Really? Just like that?" I asked skeptically.

"Eh," he said causally. "There may have been a few threats involved."

"Threats?" I asked concerned.

"I merely brought to her attention that I would be eighteen soon enough, and if she continued to hold stupid childish rules over me then I'd cut her out of my and Em's life."

I gasped. "Edward."

"What…well it worked. I should have thought to threaten her from the beginning."

I shook my head at him disapprovingly, but couldn't help but smile at the same time. "So you traded you overprotective mother for an overbearing cousin?"

"I told you, it's my lot in life….But I'm tired of it; the only woman that I'll let control me anymore is you," he joked. "And I'm sure one day Em."

I giggled and then shut off the lights before pulling him to bed…

.


	27. Trust

Chapter 27 – Trust

The morning after _the best birthday ever,_ was so great that I started feeling like nothing was going to get us down again. We weren't just strong, we were unbreakable and there wasn't a better feeling then that.

But even though the morning was amazing, it wasn't exactly perfect. I had made an appointment to get my license that afternoon, so my father decided to surprise me with what he called a belated birthday present, but I just called it an old beat up truck.

"Wow Charlie, this is awesome!" Edward said excitedly when he saw it.

"Uh… thanks dad," I said, far less enthused than my better half. I mean, I was grateful and all, but the thing was hideous and I was worried that it may scare oncoming traffic and cause a massive pileup.

"Now, I know it doesn't look all that nice, but it's strong and dependable," Charlie explained. "You could get a head on collision with a logger truck and you'd still be ok."

"It's perfect for her," Edward said casually.

I glared at my two favorite men for a few moments, before sighing and deciding they were right. The old me would have snubbed my nose up and refused to be seen in it, but the new me refused to care how the truck looked just as long as it was safe enough for Em.

"So, what do you say we go find a parking lot and go through a refresher course?" Charlie offered.

"Uh…" I checked my watch. "I guess we have a little time."

Since changing my schedule, Edward and I both started school at ten and would go until two. It was actually perfect considering Em's most active playtimes were in the mornings between seven and nine, and the afternoons from three to six. We still hated leaving her, but we were ecstatic to be with her when she was the most awake and happy.

"Ok, now buckle up," Charlie instructed.

"Dad, I do remember how to drive," I told him. I had my permit before being stranded, and like most teens I had driven as much as my parents would allow so I was still confident in my ability.

"Yeah, well you seemed to have a hard time remembering a lot of things when you fist got back," he argued.

"That was only because my brain was on island mode and I had let go of everything else…but now that I'm back, I remember everything again….Including how to drive."

"It's not riding a bike, Bella…and just so we're on the same page, I remember everything from before as well."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked with humorous offense.

"_Everyone_ in Forks remembers how you drove back then…especially the owners of the four different parked cars you had hit."

_Oh yeah, I guess I did forget about those minor incidents. _

"I'm more responsible than I used to be," I tried to assure both of us.

"Well, you have to be, you're a mama now."

"Exactly, so have a little faith."

Charlie was right, I wasn't the best driver but I'd be damned if I failed. Driving meant independence, and my little family needed our independence.

"You need to try to park _inside_ the lines," Charlie said slowly after my second attempt.

"Didn't I?"

"Well, no, you parked _on_ the line."

_Crap._

So I tried again and eventually got it right. We drove around a little, and Charlie even broke the law for me by allowing me to drive on an actual street. Once I calmed down and settled into all the motions again I did fairly well, but I was still worried about the test.

We were only gone for about thirty minutes or so, which gave me plenty of time to play with Em for awhile before school.

"So how'd it go?" Edward asked.

Charlie sighed.

"That bad huh?" Edward said with a laugh.

"No, not _that_ bad; she definitely could have done worse," Charlie said playfully before grabbing his keys and leaving for the day.

Edward wrapped me in his arms and kissed my forehead. "Maybe getting your license isn't the best idea."

"It's going to be fine," I said assuredly. "I can't stand being at the mercy of other people to drive us everywhere anymore."

"Ok," he said with a smile. "Speaking of which, how are we getting to school today?"

"Renee," I said with a huff.

"So…can she stay with Em today then as well?"

"But your mom was supposed to watch her on Thursdays."

"I'd rather my mom not watch her anymore…At least not for a while."

"Was she really that mad when you told her you weren't going to follow her rules anymore?" I asked incredulously.

"It's not about that, she… I just don't want her watching Em for awhile, ok?"

"Um…ok," I said, taken aback by his strange tone. I planned to ask him more later, but at that moment I could tell he wasn't in the mood to be discussing his problems with his mother and I didn't want to push him.

Renee came and took Edward and me to school, and was more than happy about spending the day with Em.

"We'll go shopping," Renee said excitedly.

"You sure Esme can't take her?" I whispered to Edward.

"She'll be fine," he replied. We kissed Em goodbye and then walked towards our Marine Biology class together.

Of course, the moment we entered the classroom all the other students gawked and snickered, and surprisingly, since I had Edward there with me, I wasn't bothered by it. Edward chose to ignore those around us, so I followed his lead and did the same.

"Now, as most of you are aware, Marine Biology 2 classes used to go on a weeklong trip at sea to study marine life firsthand and we based the rest of the semester on our findings there," the teacher said to the class. "But two years ago the boat returned with two less students; thankfully, they have finally returned." Then he turned to us. "I was thinking as a way to make up some of your missed credits, the two of you could answer questions about your time on the island."

I glanced at Edward horrified, but he didn't look concerned whatsoever.

"No problem, Mr. Molina," Edward replied.

The first kid raised his hand. "Uh, when you have sex on a beach, does sand really get in _all_ your various crevasses?"

"Steven!" the teacher chided. "You can take a trip to the principal's office for that one."

"It's ok, Mr. Molina," Edward said casually. "The answer is yes."

"Ok, ok, let's keep the questions _and _answers about Marine Biology," the teacher said irritated.

The next kid raised his hand. "If a seat turtle were to …go down on another sea turtle in the ocean, would they inhale a bunch of water?"

"That's enough!" the teacher shouted irately. It was safe to say questions were done – _Thank god_.

After that horrific exercise was over, our disturbed teacher resorted to making the class watch a video on the ecosystem of tropical reefs. It was odd but everything on that video was familiar and almost felt like watching an old home movie, and learning the scientific names of everything was actually quite fascinating as well. At one point I glanced over at Edward expecting him to be just as entranced with the video as I was, except he wasn't.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I whispered.

"Nothing," he said like he was half asleep.

"Oh, did I keep you up too much last night?" I asked playfully.

He smiled. "Not nearly enough."

"Mr. Cullen," the teacher said suddenly. "I realize being in class is not what you're used to, but if you don't mind, I'd appreciate you keeping quiet while the video is on."

"Sorry," he mumbled and then proceeded to watch the screen blankly.

I was enjoying the show, but at the same time I was glad when it was over – I really wanted to talk to Edward and see what was going on with him.

"So, what was that about?" I asked him as he walked me to my next class.

"What?" he played dumb.

"Oh, I don't know; the part of class where you answered questions about our sex life without batting an eye and then you almost fell asleep during the video?"

"Questions about our sex life? I didn't mention anything about our sex life."

"The sex on the beach thing. I surely hope you haven't been having sex on the beach with anyone else."

"It was just a general question."

"That was asked of you because they all know you've done it….with _me_."

"So you're upset because everyone knows we've had sex on a beach?" he asked clueless.

"No, I'm not upset, just surprised that you would even answer the question."

"Bella, we have a daughter who was born while we were stranded on an island, I think everyone came to the conclusion that we've had plenty of sex on a beach."

"That's not my point, and I'm not upset."

"So, what's your point then?"

_What was my point?_ Oh right… "You're just acting strange, and you looked really tired…or were you bored?"

"Man Bella, I swear, I never remembered Marine Biology being so boring and I have to admit that I'm regretting taking it again."

"You always loved all that stuff…and whatever happened to '_we should take the class together because we lived it_'?"

"I know, but there was nothing on that lame video that I didn't already know. It's like…being able to read at a college level but only having preschool books available…. I don't know how else to explain it."

"Oh….well, some of us need to start with preschool level books," I said slightly bitter.

"No, babe, I wasn't trying to knock you or anyone else, but for me it's just all stuff I already know."

"So are you going to drop the class? I mean, it's still early in the semester, maybe there will be stuff later that you haven't learned yet."

He smiled at me. "I'd rather be bored out of my mind with you by my side then being intellectually stimulated somewhere away from you."

I smiled back at him, because let's face it, it's was impossible not to. "Thanks…. I think. That was a good thing, right?" I asked unsure.

"It's definitely a good thing," he said before leaning in to kiss me. "I'll see you at lunch. Where should we meet?"

I looked around and realized just at that moment that we had arrived at my classroom. "How did you find my class so easily?" I asked, not exactly knowing where we were myself.

"I was a geek, remember? I knew this entire place like the back of my hand…" he shrugged. "I didn't have anything else to do but walk the halls back then. Kind of like our time apart on the island; it wasn't long before I had the entire place memorized."

I nodded like I understood, and then I wrapped my arms around him to kiss him goodbye. "Meet me at the picnic tables behind the cafeteria."

"Ok," he said before kissing me one more time. "I love you."

I grinned widely. "I love you too."

My next class went slowly, and I was just as bored as Edward looked during Marine Bio. Thankfully, lunch was next and I'd only have one more class before my appointment to get my license.

"So, how was math?" I asked Edward as he walked up to our meeting place at lunch time.

"Boring," he said flatly. "How was Spanish?"

"Hard…but pretty boring as well. I hate that I have so much trouble paying attention in such an important class."

"Why is it so important?"

"When we were in Mexico, I swore to myself that I'd learn the language if ever given the opportunity. But it's like…my brain just shuts off when trying to absorb the information."

"Well, maybe it's just too much too soon. I think we need to take a vacation."

"A vacation? I think we just got back from a two year vacation."

He nodded. "True…Maybe next time we'll go somewhere with snow…How about a ski resort?"

"Do you ski?"

"No, but there's a first for everything."

"Ok, we'll try skiing next…even though it snows here and a vacation in the snow will probably be the last thing we'll want to do."

"I want to do it all."

I smiled. "Me too. Together though, right?"

"Of course, that goes without saying."

We walked hand in hand through the cafeteria and pretended to not see the intrusive stares as we went, but we ultimately decided we'd rather eat worms then whatever was being served for lunch. So instead of eating, we decided to spend our free time lounging on the big grassy hill on the backside of the quad. We weren't completely alone, but most people around were just passing by or minding their own business.

We started out just having a light conversation about nothing in particular, but then, of course, things turned for the worst….or maybe it was for the better, I wasn't quite sure.

"Can I ask you something?" he said hesitantly.

"Sure, you can ask me anything."

"Ok, don't take this the wrong way or anything, but….why the hell are you wearing that skirt?"

I looked down at my Renee approved-_but perhaps a little too short_ -skirt. "What do you mean?" I asked innocently. I used to wear things much more revealing to school before, but I did feel odd in it with my new found modesty.

"You're really driving me crazy with it, and I think you're doing it on purpose."

"Hey, this is practically a nun's dress compared to what I wore on the island," I said defensively.

"If more nuns dressed like you then every man in the world would become Catholic."

"Is this one of those New Edward personality traits?" I asked playfully.

"Well I did tell you that New Edward definitely has some jealously issues, but no. You're just too freaking sexy and all I want to do is ditch the rest of the day and go have sex somewhere."

I giggled. "But I have my driving test soon."

"Crap! And I have swimming practice."

"So, we'll have sex tonight after Em goes to sleep."

He huffed. "How the hell am I supposed to concentrate on anything else until then?"

I laughed at the adorable way he was pouting, and then climbed onto his lap.

"Oh this is not helping," he said evenly.

I pushed him back so he was reclining on the hill, and he responded by caressing his hands up my bare legs and right under my skirt to the crease at my inner thigh. Very slowly, both his thumbs slid under the elastic of my panties.

"You're really asking for trouble," I warned him.

"Why, no one's paying attention," he said before lightly pushing his thumbs in further.

I glanced around to make double sure that no one was watching, and then looked down at the way my skirt was covering us. "Alright, just remember you're the one who started this."

"Started what?" he asked, suddenly concerned.

I could feel his growing erection through his pants, and as the good girlfriend that I was, I just knew I had to take care of it for him….that, and the fact that the feeling of his hardness had certainly turned me on even more than I already was. So while continuing to look around, I slid my hand between us under my skirt, and undid his pants.

"Uh…"

"You started it," I reiterated while shoving down his underwear just enough to free him.

"Bella, wa-" he didn't have time to finish his protest because in one swift move, I pushed my panties to the side and sunk down onto him. "Holy shit," he grunted.

My breathing sped and I couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement from the way we were attached in a very public setting.

After recovering from the initial shock of it, he got control of himself enough to speak again. "You're fucking crazy."

I smiled and then very slowly lifted myself up, only to push right back down on him again.

"Oh my god," he moaned.

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked seductively.

"No," he choked out.

If anyone did take notice of us, they'd probably just think we were just playing around because we weren't making out or even holding each other close; the only visible contact between us was my legs straddling his seemingly fully covered lap, and his hands in the region of my thighs. We both took turns looking around regardless, but after a few minutes I decided to forget there were any people around at all. I continued my subtle movements, but if we were to get caught I doubted I'd even care; it felt amazing and the excitement only added to it. Sex outside was what we were used to, and not even the threat of expulsion could dampen it.

As the intensity grew, I could feel Edward guiding my rhythm with his hands still on my hips, which was more than fine by me. He could never relinquish control completely and I secretly loved that about him.

But then…

"Oh fuck Bella, I swear I'm about to roll over and start pounding into you."

I giggled. "I think people would notice that."

"Don't really care."

"We'd get expelled," I said as I continued to move slowly on top of him.

"Good," he huffed.

"I'm eighteen so I'd probably get arrested for indecent exposure or committing a lewd act in public," I warned him.

"Shit," he said. "Well I can't get you arrested; your dad would never forgive me."

"Right, so just shut up and take it," I said with another giggle.

I moved a few more times, but then he lost it. "Nope, can't do it, get off."

"What? No way."

"I will push you off," he threatened. "I'm sure your dad can get you out of jail for the lewd whatever."

"No, I don't want to stop," I said strongly. I was so close to the edge and stopping right then would ruin the rest of the day for me.

But I should have known he was serious about pushing me off - he just couldn't stand being pinned underneath me, which was the way he had been from the first time we made love.

He lifted me off of him just enough to fasten his pants under my skirt.

"So you're going to go to your next class with a hard on?" I asked him.

"Nope," he said before scooting me off of him. He stood and pulled me up as well, and then rushed us to the nearest bathroom…except it wasn't empty.

"Ok, your hands are clean, now get out," Edward said impatiently to the guy at the sink.

I had never been in the boy's bathroom before, but I was definitely excited to be there knowing what was about to happen. The guy looked at me confused, but then shrugged and went outside.

"I don't think this is sanitary," I joked but was serious at the same time.

"Don't worry; the only thing that's going to actually touch your skin is me."

He pulled me into him and crashed his lips onto mine before lifting me up against the wall. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he held me up with one hard while undoing his pants with the other. And as promised, he slammed into me.

We were already so close to the edge before so it didn't take too long for our climax to overtake us, which was perfect timing since the first bell rang as we were finishing and pulling apart.

"You know, I walked in on someone having sex in this bathroom before," he said unexpectedly.

"Really? And what, you just wanted to try it?"

He laughed. "No, I actually found it disturbing and rather disgusting at the time…But it was the only private place I could think of."

"Well, after I get my license we'll have the car."

He nodded absently. "I really hope you pass."

"Me too, and then I'll drive back here to pick you up afterwards."

"Can't wait," he said with a breathtaking smile.

We kissed goodbye and then went to our separate classes, and afterwards I headed to my DMV appointment.

"So, are you nervous?" Charlie asked as he drove me there.

"No….Well, I guess a little," I admitted.

"So what's Edward doing right now, I thought you two had the same schedule?"

"We do, but he has swimming today so it works out. I'm planning to pick him up afterwards."

"I'm sure you're going to do fine. You can do anything you set your mind to."

"Thanks dad."

As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was beyond nervous. Failing wasn't an option for me, and I refused to allow it to happen. Fortunately both the written and the driving tests went smoothly and I passed with flying colors. I was so excited that I nearly ran three stop signs on my way back to school.

I felt like I was flying. Everything was finally going right again, and I couldn't wait for the more independent stage of our lives.

I figured Edward would just be finishing his practice, so I practically ran to the boy's locker room hoping to catch him on his way out, but when I got there I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me – Edward was standing there with a very animated Tanya, and he was smiling at whatever she was saying.

A part of me felt like running away and crying, another part felt like hiding around a corner and trying to hear what they were talking about, but when she handed him a folded piece of white paper and then put her sleazy hand on his arm in a flirtatious way, my claws came out.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked while grabbing the same arm that Tanya had touched. Edward was mine, and I wasn't about to let some skank come in and try to get between us.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Edward asked me enthusiastically as he pushed the paper into his pocket.

"Great, I passed," I said evenly.

"Seriously? That's awesome!"

"Bella, god, it's been forever," Tanya butted in. Without warning she leaned in and hugged me against my will. "I've missed you so much, and I can honestly say there hasn't been a day that's gone by when I haven't thought about you."

"Hmm, well, I haven't given you a single thought since the last time I saw you, in fact, I forgot you even existed until this minute," I said harshly. "We should be going; _our daughter_ is waiting for us at home."

"Uh….well, it was nice talking to you," Edward said to Tanya.

"You too," she said, and I could have sworn she was about to try to hug him too so I pulled him away before she had a chance.

"So how was practice?" I asked casually as we headed towards the parking lot.

"Whoa, back up, what was that about?"

"Oh come on, she was totally flirting with you so I was just making sure she knew you were mine."

"She was not flirting with me," he said defensively. "We just ran into each other and got to talking."

"Talking about what?"

He shrugged. "Nothing in particular."

"You looked really into whatever she was saying."

"No. Look, I told you before that she was really the only person that was nice to me at this school, so she was just saying hi and whatnot."

"And she wasn't flirting?" I asked skeptically.

"No."

"And what was that paper she handed you?"

"Oh," he said pulling it out of his pocket. "She actually kept that old poem I wrote her. Isn't that hilarious?"

I crossed my arms and glared at him.

"I was actually just going to show you and then throw it away."

"Why'd you put it in your pocket then?"

"I don't know, I did it without thinking. Jeeze Bella, what the hell is with the third degree, you're acting like I cheated on you or something."

"No, I just know how Tanya works, and I don't like it. The fact that she gave you back your old love letter after all this time is just proof that she wants you."

He thought about it for a moment, and then shook his head. "It wasn't like that. It was just a casual conversation between…old friends."

He was so innocently naive when it came to dating in high school, but I needed him to understand exactly what she was up to.

"She was only nice to you back then when no one else was around, and it was probably just to get you to do her homework. That doesn't sound like the kind of person you should want to be friends with. She knows you had a thing for her, and now that you've grown into yourself she's going to use that to get to you… God, I knew this was going to happen."

"You're acting irrationally. If that was true before, maybe she's changed. People do change, Bella; we're both proof of that."

"Oh, she hasn't changed," I said with a humorless laugh.

"And how would you know that when you just admitted to not seeing her since we've been back? Besides, even if she was flirting and wanted me or whatever, what the hell difference does that make to us?"

I sighed. "It doesn't. It's just…she was your first love so seeing you together like that just freaked me out a bit," I admitted.

He cradled my face in his hands gently. "Tanya wasn't my first love...she was just a childhood crush, nothing more. A crush that disappeared a long time ago when I did fall in love for the first time... You are my first and only love, so give me a little credit and trust me."

"I do trust you," I said much calmer and couldn't help but smile despite myself. I was still sure Tanya was going to try to get between us, but Edward was right, it didn't make a difference. We had been through so much together and there was no way someone as insignificant as Tanya could ever pull him away from me.


	28. Whiplash

Chapter 28 – Whiplash

Thankfully, we rounded out the rest of our school week without any issues, and spent that weekend making up for our time away by taking Em to the zoo, just the three of us. Edward and I loved watching our daughter's face light up as she saw new animals for the first time; it was probably our best family day since leaving the island.

But when it was time to go back to school on Monday, we had to ask Renee to babysit yet again, which was a less than desirable arrangement.

"Maybe I can talk to Esme about you living with us…You know, try to make her feel a little better about it," I suggested to Edward, really hoping the strain in his relationship with his mother would end soon so she could watch Em again. I loved my mother, but I wasn't too happy about her bird-brained antics caring for our one year old every day.

"Bella, I told you, I'm not going to let her babysit anymore," he said irritated.

"But you never told me why."

"Because it's not important," he snapped at me, but then sighed. "Just drop it, ok?" he said, a little softer.

"Ok," I found myself agreeing. I hated that he was keeping it from me, but I trusted him more than anyone in the world and if he had a reason to keep me in the dark when it came to his mother, then I chose to not push the subject.

Now secrets when it came to other women would never be tolerated.

"Can you just tell me if Tanya tries to talk to you again?" I asked carefully, not wanting to sound like a jealous paranoid freak.

"We only talked that once, and the times we've crossed paths since she didn't even attempt to say hi. It's really not anything to worry about," he assured me.

"I know…but I still don't trust her. I'll bet you anything she'll find a reason to be close to you."

I did sound like an idiot, but thankfully Edward just laughed at me and pulled me in close to him so he could kiss my forehead. "I love you," he murmured into my hair.

"I love you too," I replied while inhaling his scent deep into my lungs.

…

That afternoon Edward had his first swim meet, and as much as I wanted to get home to Em, there was no way I was going to miss it. Charlie was off work early and would be able to relieve Renee with babysitting duties, so I felt a little better about it.

The bleachers were jammed packed, and as I sat there with Angela I could hear bits and pieces of people's conversations…all of which were centered around the '_island boy who probably raced sharks to get so fast'_. A part of me wanted to confirm their gossip and tell them that he did in fact out-swim an occasional shark, but when it came down to it, I really didn't care what they thought or said, and I knew Edward didn't either. But even more than that, I was becoming increasingly more nervous with every passing minute.

"Do you think he's not going to do so well?" Angela asked hesitantly after noticing the anxious way I was bouncing my knee and chewing on my thumb nail.

"No, I think he's going to do fine… It's just…" I actually wasn't sure why I was so nervous.

"You're worried about him," Angela guessed.

"Yeah. I guess I've had a bad habit of worrying about him," I admitted while suddenly having a flashback about his first swim out to the island reef sans life-vest. And then I thought of something horrifying. "God, I'm such an idiot."

"What?" Angela asked concerned.

"Poor Edward had to grow up with an overbearing mother and cousins, and now he's stuck with someone just like me who's just as paranoid. God, he wasn't kidding when he said it was his lot in life."

"Oh Bella, I really don't see how that's the same thing. I mean, a motherly concern is definitely more suffocating for any guy than a girlfriend's concern. You love him and just want him to be ok, whereas his mom…._loves him and just wants him to be ok_," she said, realizing that perhaps it wasn't that different after all.

"I just wish he would tell me what's really going on. He seems more upset than he should be from her smothering."

Angela didn't know everything about the situation but I had told her enough for her to vaguely understand. It actually felt really good to have a normal girlfriend after so long, and I was glad to have her to talk to.

"Wow, speak of the devil," Angela said suddenly. "Well, I don't think she's a devil, but you know what I mean."

I turned to see Esme hovering in the back as if she didn't want anyone to see her – _or perhaps she just didn't want to see a certain someone to see her_. Had their relationship gotten so bad that he'd be upset if he knew she was there? It was actually quite sad.

Edward emerged from the locker room with the rest of his team as well as the opposing swimmers. I wasn't exactly sure how meets worked, but when Edward took off his robe thing, I really didn't care about the logistics.

God, you would think I had never seen him without a shirt by the way I uncontrollably ogled his perfectly toned torso. He was just beautiful; there was no other way to describe him. But as I began to accept the fact that I wasn't the only chick there who saw Edward in that way, a new feeling devoured me…Was it pride for my boyfriend, or was it something a little more shallow like smugness? He was mine, and I secretly loved the satisfaction of that. Out of all the girls who wanted him, he only wanted me, and that was more than a little heady.

The team seemed to switch from the skimpy Speedos they wore during tryouts to the tight shorts type, and I couldn't help but wonder if it was by Edward's persuasion. He had made it perfectly clear that he wouldn't wear the other type; however he did compromise by putting on a swim cap.

"Aw, why the hell would they make him cover his sex hair?" I heard a girl say over the chatter of the crowd.

I couldn't help but giggle by her comment. If Edward wasn't hot as hell, his so called 'sex hair' would just be considered 'a mess'. It goes to show how fickle some girls could be.

When Edward and the other racers were told to take their marks, I was pleasantly surprised to see Edward conform to the same position as the others, and when the loud noise sounded, Edward dove in the water just as gracefully as the more experienced competitors….but he hit the water much further away from the sheer strength of his jump.

"Oh, he should slow down," Angela mumbled shyly. "He's going to burn out before the last lap….My brother used to race."

"He hasn't been doing this very long so I'm sure he's still learning," I said absently as I stayed fixated on my Edward. Angela didn't see him swim before, and didn't realize the immense power that he was capable of so she based her comment on the swimmers she knew before – And Edward didn't burn out, or even slow, if anything he only picked up speed.

But as I watched him cut through the waves like a knife to butter, I noticed something strange. He was using anger as fuel…

Since our talk on my birthday, Edward had seemed happy. We had been _really_ happy together. Nothing had changed since then, but watching him swim like that was making me think otherwise. He reminded me of when Charlie would come home from work after a particularly rough day, and he would take out his tension on his punching bag in the backyard. Renee had always told me it was his way to unwind, but as I grew up I figured out what it really was… A way to release the suppressed rage so that he could remain even tempered the rest of his time. Is that what Edward was doing? Burying all his remaining anger until it was time to swim.

Charlie's anger had come from stupid criminals which were forced upon him as part of his job as a police officer, but why was Edward still so angry? He had me and Em, we were together and that was all he really wanted, right? There had to be something that I was missing, and even though I highly doubted it was because he missed his mother, I had a sick feeling that she was a part of it or at least knew where it came from.

I made up my mind right then that if Edward wasn't going to tell me, then I was going to question Esme - I met her when she asked; she owed me the same courtesy.

Edward won the race by a half of a pool length, which Angela was astonished by, but I already knew he'd do remarkable. After just a few practices, his form and mechanics had improved tenfold and he looked like he had been swimming in that way for years. But as proud of him as I was, my mind was stuck on Esme and I really needed to catch her before she left.

She had already walked out of the building, but I was able to get to her before she made it to the parking lot.

"Esme, wait," I said, but she didn't stop so I grabbed her arm gently and forced her to look at me.

The moment her eyes met mine, I let go of her arm as if she physically shocked me. Her face…. Her eyes….she just looked so…sad. But she only let her emotions show for a moment, and just like her son, she buried them deep down and put on a perfect mask of happy friendliness.

"Oh Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there," she said with a smile. "How are you sweetheart, and how's Em?"

"Em's good. I'm sure she misses you though," I said, trying to break the ice.

"Well, I definitely miss her little angel face like crazy. Will you give her a kiss for me?"

"Of course….Though, I wish I knew why you can't kiss her yourself," I said suggestively, hoping she'd get the hint and tell me what was going on. I actually felt horrible for going to her, but after watching Edward swim like that, I knew whatever it was would only build until it exploded. Something was definitely very wrong, and I couldn't just accept Edward's choice to keep me out of the loop any more.

"So…Edward hasn't…talked to you…at all?" Esme said uncomfortably.

"No, so I was hoping you would."

She stared at me for a moment and looked as though the words were right there on the tip of her tongue, but then she sighed. "Honey, if there's one thing I've learned about Edward since he's been back, it's that he doesn't like people going behind his back. _You_ need to talk to him."

"I tried, but he just keeps telling me it's not a big deal and I should leave it alone," I said frustrated.

"He may think it's not a big deal now, but….deep down…I think he knows that it is. Keep trying; maybe he'll open up. I just really hope it doesn't come out another way." She reached out and squeezed my arm tenderly. "I want you to know that regardless of what happens, I care about the three of you immensely and I only pray we can have some kind of relationship again someday."

Esme's words only added to my concern. _What the hell was going on?_

After the swim meet, Edward was back to his happy self and we were both eager to get home to see Em, so once again, I wasn't really able to question him more.

We had a really good evening, and Edward almost seemed even more attentive to me and Em than usual – _if that were even possible_. We played and laughed and Edward even blew up an entire bag of balloons for Em to chase around the house. He obviously had great lung capacity, but I honestly didn't know how he didn't pass out from all that blowing.

"This!" Em squealed as she chased the bright yellow balloon.

"It's a _ba-llooon_," Edward told her slowly as she watched his lips.

"Whoonn," she tried repeating.

We both laughed. "Ba-lloon," Edward said again.

"Whoon," she repeated excitedly before throwing it in the air. "This," she said pointing up at it. She then ran around saying "This" at all the other balloons in the room. Edward and I chased her and kept hitting them all up in the air so that we could dance through them. It was another of those perfect magical times that I knew I'd remember for the rest of my life.

It had been such a wonderful day that I decided to put off the 'Esme talk' until later – I just didn't want anything dampening it. But then Edward shocked me more than ever with a simple question…

"Hey, would you mind if I… went out….for a little while?" he asked hesitantly.

"Out?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, I guess its tradition or something for the swim team to go out to celebrate after a big win. I told them no, but they just keep texting me all this crap about camaraderie and strengthening the team bond."

"Well, you should definitely go then," I said with a forced smile. I wasn't upset by it at all, in fact, I thought it was a great idea for him to make some friends, but I was more than a little surprised that he'd be willing to go since he hated everything about high school.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "It'll probably only be a couple hours or so."

"Yeah, totally. Do you even know where they're going?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. What do guys like that do to celebrate?"

I thought about what I used to do with my friends after a big football win. "Party?" I assumed.

He shook his head. "No, I told them I don't do that crap. Besides, if it was a party then they'd want girls there. They specifically said no girlfriends…. Oh shit, do you think it's going to be some freaky initiation thing where they make me run around naked through town?"

I laughed. "If it is then text me so I can go watch."

"Ha ha," he said sarcastically.

About an hour later there was a car honking outside. "I love you," Edward said quickly before kissing Em and I goodbye.

Em and I spent the next three hours having some quality mother-daughter time. I tickled her, and giggled at the way she giggled, and I even did her nails – which she surprisingly sat still for.

"This!" she said as I painted them, but when they were finished, she rubbed them excitedly and got nail polish all over the place. _Perhaps she was a little too young for painted nails_.

I tried to keep her awake long enough to see Edward when he got home, but she was too tired from all the playing that day and fell asleep on the couch while watching a show. After I carried her to bed, Edward finally came home.

"Hey, how'd it go?" I asked as I welcomed him inside.

"It was fine," he said vaguely. "How was your one on one time with Em? Is she already sleeping? Man, I really was hoping to get back in time to tuck her in. I'm going to run up there and kiss her anyway."

"Um…ok," I said as he disappeared up the stairs.

When he didn't come right back down again, I got curious and decided to go up and check on them. I had put Em in her crib, but when I got to the room, she was sleeping on the bed with Edward lying behind her rubbing her back.

"Did she wake up?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, I kissed her and then she stirred and wanted me to pick her up. She fell right back to sleep but I wasn't ready to put her back in her bed yet."

"Oh," I said before lying down on the other side of Em. Some of my favorite times on the island were when the three of us would lay together and just enjoy the quiet, so it felt really good to do that again.

I never felt myself fall asleep, but the next thing I knew Em was pulling my hair and the bright sun was shining through the window.

"Good morning, baby," I said groggily as Em's hair pulling turned into her patting my face.

When she was satisfied that I was awake, Em turned her attention to her daddy and proceeded to poke at his face until he woke up as well. "Hey princess," he said lovingly before sitting up and peppering kisses all over her face.

"Ah dada!" Em squealed.

We ate breakfast together before heading out to school for the day. "Maybe we should think about daycare," I suggested, still having an issue with Renee babysitting.

"Do you think that's a good idea? She's never been around other kids," Edward said concerned. "What if they're mean to her?"

"She's going to have to learn to play with others eventually. I mean, I'd rather her stay with…." I was about to say 'Esme' but I let my sentence trail off because the last thing I wanted was to get into an argument at the moment. Instead, I tried a different approach. "I just wish we had someone in the family that was more qualified to watch her some of the time."

"Well, your dad works so I have no idea who else could do it… Maybe a daycare wouldn't be so bad after all. Especially since we're only gone for four hours a day."

"Except when you have swim meets," I pointed out.

"Maybe you shouldn't go to those anymore. It's not a big deal anyway, and I could get one of the guys to take me home afterwards."

"But I like going," I said quietly.

"Why?"

"Because you're my boyfriend and I love watching you do whatever you're doing."

"Boyfriend?" he said with a smirk. "Why does that always sound so weird?"

I smiled. "It's just like saying 'I love you'. They're just words that don't properly describe how we feel about each other."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Or maybe it's just because I was so used to calling you my wife on the island. It kind of feels like a downgrade."

"Well, hurry up and turn eighteen so we can make it legal," I said jokingly but was completely serious.

"Getting closer every day," he said with a chuckle before hugging me tightly. "Just think, by this time next year we could be married and living in a little two bedroom apartment by the JC."

"That would be nice…but we need jobs too. With school and work, when will we ever see each other or Em?"

"You have no idea how much money I'm getting from my dad when I turn eighteen. We won't have to work, especially not full time; we can just focus on school and Em. It'll all work out, you'll see," he said excitedly. "We could even have another baby and still be fine financially."

"Well, I can't wait," I said before stretching up on my toes to kiss him.

"Me either. The sooner we get away from this shithole town, the better," he said unexpectedly. I had really thought he was beginning to like being back since fitting in so well at school, so his comment took me by surprise.

"The JC isn't that far from here," I pointed out.

"Well, it's still out of Forks and away from the stupid people here. Maybe after the JC we'll transfer to a school even further away. Preferably out of state."

As much as I didn't like a lot of people in Forks, I wasn't sure moving so far away was the best idea. It would devastate Charlie and even Esme if they ever reconciled. But we had plenty of time to figure it all out, so I wasn't the least bit worried.

…

A few days passed, and there was suddenly another change happening, and I wasn't sure if it was a good change or a bad one.

"Yo Edward," a jock wearing a varsity jacket said while giving Edward a hi-five as we walked by. Since word spread of his amazing swimming skills, Edward had quickly become the guy in school that everyone wanted to be friends with whether he liked it or not.

But it seemed the more friends he got, the more time he spent away…

"You're going out again?" I asked that night after hearing a honk outside the house, and then Edward grabbed his coat.

"Just for a short time," he said apologetically. "I'll be back soon."

"Whatever happened to wanting to get away from the _'stupid people in Forks'_?" I asked him because his change in attitude towards it all was giving me whiplash.

"I do, but going along with it is easier then saying no. If I had it my way, we'd still be alone on the island."

I smiled at him. "Well, hurry back so we can pretend to be there again until morning," I said suggestively.

I almost expected him to get excited by what I way implying and decide not to go out, but he just smiled and kissed me quickly before leaving.

_Did he really just choose to go out with friends over staying in to have sex with me?_ I supposed we had sex all the time and it could wait until he got back, but it still freaked me out a little.

….

"Is everything ok?" Angela asked me later that week. Edward had gone off somewhere with some of his friends, so I was having lunch with her and I was more than a little distracted.

"Yeah, sorry…It's just, Edward has been out three times this week, and now he's spending lunch away from me too. I just….miss him."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like your relationship is becoming…normal," Angela said slowly. "My boyfriend is always off with his friends too. We don't live together or have a child, but I think it's healthy to spend some time with other people."

I guess she was right, we were becoming more of a normal couple…and I hated it.

"What's important is that everything is ok when you are together," she added encouragingly.

"Yeah, I guess, and things a good when we're together…really good. I mean, we never fight and we're really happy. But it's weird, it's like…he drops everything when one of his friends wants to go out. The other night he left right in the middle of dinner."

"Have you asked him about it?"

"No, I don't want to discourage him."

"Well, having friends is new for him; I'm sure it's all just innocent fun – Didn't you say he's always been surrounded by women? I bet he's just enjoying the guy time. Why don't you go out with friends as well? Me and the girls are going to the movies this weekend, why don't you come with us? I really think that if you went out sometimes as well, it won't be as hard when he does. And when was the last time the two of you went out together as a couple?"

"My birthday... I guess you're right," I said with a sigh. "He's not doing anything wrong; I just need to find time to go out too."

So I made plans to go with Angela and her friends, which Edward was completely supportive of.

"Ok, I'll be back in two hours," I said to him anxiously. I still wasn't too thrilled about leaving them to go hang out with friends. It just didn't feel right.

"Babe, you never go out, just relax and have fun. Go to dinner afterwards," Edward encouraged me.

"But I need to come back and cook for you."

"We'll be fine," he assured me before kissing my head and practically pushing me out of the house.

But the movie was slow, and all I could think about was how badly I wanted to be home with my family.

"I think I'm going to go," I whispered to Angela after just a half hour into the movie.

"Oh, are you sure?"

"Yeah, sorry."

Luckily, I drove there and Angela could get a ride home with one of her other friends. I just couldn't justify sitting there and watching a boring movie when I could be playing with Em and Edward. When I arrived home however, I was completely stunned by what I saw - There was a car in the driveway, and I was fairly certain it was Tanya's.

...

* * *

*****A/N: **Don't worry!I have two rules when it comes to ALL my fics. _One_ - They always have an HEA. _Two_ - NO cheating!

**** To Those Wondering**: The story is coming to an end soon, but when it does you'll definitely know because it'll say 'The End'

***FYI:** There are a couple abbreviations that I keep using that I realized some don't understand. Sorry about that, I hope this helps

_JC_= Junior College/community college  
_HEA_ = Happily Ever After

If anything else confuses you, please feel free to ask and I'll get right back to you.


	29. Lies

Chapter 29 – Lies

Maybe it was immature of me, but I decided to park my truck around the corner so they wouldn't hear me pull up, and then I snuck up to the house to listen to what was going on. A part of me wanted to barge in there and ring Tanya's fucking neck, but more than anything, I just needed to know what was going on once and for all. Esme's estrangement, Edward's angry swims and his sudden nights out, and now Tanya; they were all connected and I was terrified to find out the truth, but I needed to know just the same.

As I walked closer to the house, I became even more scared as I thought about all the different scenarios. Esme had said that Edward was hiding something important, was it that he was having feelings for Tanya and too afraid to tell me? Had he been seeing her when he said he was going out with his teammates?

The thought made me sick.

If they were in there doing…things, I wasn't sure I could ever recover from seeing it. I seriously considered going back to my truck and forgetting I saw anything at all. Surely if I left and came back when I was supposed to she'd be gone and I could go back to living in denial…but there was no going back. Edward knew she was the one person I didn't want him talking to. He swore he'd stay away. How could he do that to me? How could he bring that bitch to my house, especially with our daughter there?

Now, I was pissed.

But just as I was about to storm into the house and make some heads roll, I heard the yelling…

"Edward, just calm down," the bitch said anxiously.

"The hell I will!" he shouted at her. "You have the fucking nerve to come over here with this shit? To Bella's house? What the fuck is wrong with you, seriously!"

"I knew she was going out with her friends tonight, and I just wanted to warn you about…."

"I don't need you to warn me about shit! I told you and your idiot friends last week to mind your own fucking business!"

"Edward look, Jessica has already blabbed it to everyone she knows, so I think it's time you tell her."

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK!" he yelled angrily. "I had to have my mother in law take my daughter to her hotel room because of your dumb ass! And I swear to god, you're lucky she stopped by when she did because if she wasn't here when you came, I would have physically thrown you out."

"I only came because I didn't want you to be blindsided. The truth is coming out, there's nothing you can do about it."

There was a loud crashing noise, which sounded like something was thrown hard against the door, and then there was a moment of silence.

"For what it's worth, I'm really sorry Edward," Tanya said gently.

"Just get the hell out," Edward replied, sounding defeated.

"What are you going to do?"

"What the hell do you care?" he yelled again.

"I was horrible to you before, and you died right after that!" she cried out. "I've lived with that guilt for two years…Wishing I was nicer to you that day, that I could have told my moron friends to shut the fuck up. I swore to myself that I'd never do something like that again. That I'd be brave enough to stand up to people like Jessica and Bella who bullied others just for the fun of it."

"Don't talk about Bella like that, you have no idea who she is," Edward warned her.

"I'm glad she's changed. I really do think it's awesome that you were able to drag that out of her. But it doesn't undo the facts."

"I know what the facts are…For crying out loud, get the hell out of here and leave me the fuck alone!"

"I'm sorry," she said again before I heard light footsteps walking towards the door. Without thinking, I hid around the side of the house so I wouldn't be seen. I was probably even more confused than before, which devoured all my desires to beat her down at the moment. Whatever was going on had nothing to do with Edward having feelings for her, and for whatever reason, I didn't think she was trying to steal him from me either.

It was time to talk to Edward.

I waited until Tanya drove her stupid car away before taking a deep breath and walking back up the steps to the house. But right as I was about to open the door, a different car pulled up behind me, and honked its horn.

The headlights were shining in my eyes so I couldn't see the driver, but when the front door opened, I knew Edward saw me there.

"Shit," he said under his breath.

"What is going on?" I asked desperately.

He stared at me for a moment with a mix of emotions, before looking behind me at the car waiting.

"I have to go. Em's with your mom," he said quietly before walking past me and getting into the car.

I was so lost and confused, and suddenly I felt like whatever was going on was going to ruin everything. My entire world seemed to be crashing down and I had no idea why or how.

Tanya had mentioned something about Jessica, so I decided to call her. But she didn't answer. I figured Esme had to know what was going on, but her phone went straight to voicemail as well. So I called Renee and thankfully she picked up.

"Hi honey, how was your night?" she asked casually.

"Why do you have my daughter?" I asked in almost a panic.

"Oh, I stopped by to bring them dinner but then some girl came over and Edward seemed pretty upset, so I offered to take her for a while. Is everything ok?"

"No….I don't know what's going on."

"Well, Em's sleeping, why don't I just keep her here tonight so you can have some time to figure it all out."

"Thanks," I said before hanging up.

I didn't know what to do, but I couldn't just sit around and do nothing, so I got in my truck and decided to drive around until I figured it out. I went to Esme's but she didn't answer her door, and then I found myself driving past Jessica's. I wasn't surprised to see her street jammed packed with cars, her parents were always on vacation so she was always having parties, but what I did not expect to see was Tanya's car….and the car Edward had left in.

I felt like I couldn't breathe, but then something Edward said to me on my birthday resounded in my head. _"I'm going to fight for you,"_ he had told me, and for whatever reason, that gave me the strength I needed to get out of that car and go inside. He said he was going to fight, so that meant I had to be willing to do the same. What we had was far too important to let something get between us, especially with how happy we had been lately; none of it made any sense so I would fight everyone in that party of I had to in order to get some answers.

"Hey, Bella, welcome back," Jessica said with slurred words as I walked into her house.

"Cut the bullshit. Where's Edward and what the hell do you know about him?" I said strongly.

"Whoa, you are coming at me like this," she said while waving her hand in front of her face. "You need to be coming at me like this," she said while waving her hand a little slower before falling completely over. "I'm ok," she said from the ground before giggling to herself.

"Bella, hey," Tanya said gently while walking up to me. "I'm glad you're here, can we talk?"

"I don't know, can we?" I asked her. She looked confused from my question so I explained. "I'm not exactly sure if we can talk or not, I may have to just punch your fucking lights out depending on what you say."

"Let's go outside," she said before grabbing my arm and tugging me out the door.

"You have five minutes before I just start swinging."

"Wow, I don't remember you being so…tough before," she said nervously.

"I've faced starvation, sharks, poisonous snakes, and giving birth without medical aid. I think I can handle something as pathetic as you."

"Look, I'm not interested in Edward and I'm not trying to take him from you. I've only spoken to him three times since you guys came back. The first time was at school when you walked up to us, the second time was last week, and then…tonight."

"So what happened last week?" I snapped at her, seriously having a hard time controlling my rage.

"I overheard Jessica talking about something, and I just wanted to warn him. The thing is, he seemed to already know but he got really defensive and really angry. This was obviously not something he wanted coming out."

"Just tell me what it is before I lose my patience!"

"Ok…. this isn't easy to say…"

But she didn't have a chance to say another word because suddenly two police cars pulled up with their lights flashing.

"Uh oh. My parents are going to kill me if they find out I was here. I'll call you later," Tanya said before running off towards her car.

"SHIT!" I called out in frustration.

"Bella!" I heard a familiar and very angry voice say from behind me.

"Hi dad," I said shamefaced.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked angrily, and I understood his anger. I was supposed to be with my friends having a good innocent night out, and there I was at a high school party with underage drinking, and from the smell of it, illegal substance abuse going on as well. It was sophomore year all over again, and he had every right to be pissed.

"I just came here to find Edward," I said pathetically. It was the truth, but it sounded really stupid.

"Get home now!" he shouted at me.

"I need backup in here!" the other officer yelled at Charlie.

"Now, Bella!" he insisted before going inside.

I needed to find Edward, but after everything I had put Charlie through in the past, I needed to do as he told me and get home. He had been supporting my family one hundred percent, so I had no choice.

I went home and cried out my frustrations. In one night everything came crashing down; not only was Edward involved in something and lying about it, but now my dad was disappointed in me as well - I was a troubled teen before the island, and I hated that Charlie was thinking that I was falling down the same path.

Not knowing what else to do, I just laid on the couch and waited for someone to come home. And when the key jiggled in the lock, I prayed it was Edward, but somehow I knew it wasn't.

"Dad, I'm really sorry. That wasn't what it looked like, I swear," I said apologetically the moment he walked into view.

"Where's Em?" he asked evenly.

"With mom at her hotel," I told him.

He nodded, and then sat down on the couch. "Well, I had to arrest Edward."

"WHAT!" I spat.

"He and Newton were fighting at that party. Not just throwing punches, there was…blood everywhere. It looked like a cage fight."

"Oh my god," I said to myself. What the hell was going on? "I have to go see him," I said before getting up to grab my keys.

"Not tonight Bella," he said strongly. "I called Esme and she came and picked him up. He's in a lot of trouble. Newton is pressing charges."

"How could he press charges when they were both fighting?"

"Apparently, Edward started it. All the witness there said he just jumped him from behind."

"What? Dad, come on, you know Edward. Why would he do that? None of this makes sense."

"I tried to ask him what the hell happened, but he wouldn't talk. He wouldn't even look me in the eye. Bella, what the hell is going on?"

"I wish I knew," I said honestly.

Charlie was upset, but after explaining everything that I did know, he huffed and told me that he trusted me. It meant a lot.

I then tried calling Edward's cell, but he didn't answer, so once again, I drove over to Esme's and kept my hand pressed on the doorbell until she finally answered.

"He's not here," she said, looking like a complete mess.

"Charlie said you picked him up," I argued.

"I can't physically make him stay here," she said with a fresh round of angry tears. "I'm not blaming you for all of this but….It's your bad decisions that led us here!"

"I really don't know what you're talking about."

"You don't know a lot of things, do you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" But she didn't answer me; she just shook her head and shut the door in my face.

I stood there for a few minutes completely dumbfounded. Why wouldn't anyone tell me what was going on? But on my way back to Charlie's house, I saw someone walking along the road. My high-beams illuminated him like an angel in the darkness, and without knowing anything about the situation, I was suddenly sure everything was going to be ok.

Whatever was going on, we'd fix it together.

I pulled over the car, and without even looking at me, Edward opened the door and climbed in.

"Did my mom call you?" he asked without any other greeting.

"No," I said softly, but then I noticed his face. He was bruised and his bottom lip was split, but his injuries weren't nearly bad enough to justify the amount of blood on his shirt. "Now tell me what's going on?"

He wet his bottom lip with his tongue, but still wouldn't look at me. "It wasn't a big deal and I didn't want to upset you," he mumbled. "But then it sort of….got out of control."

"What?"

He took a deep breath. "It started out as just gossip. Jessica told a few people that Newton had mentioned that you two…had sex on the boat."

"What?" I asked disgusted. "That's ridiculous! Why would you believe that when I told you I was a virgin?"

"I didn't believe it," he argued. "But then they started saying you were too drunk to remember…. Look, it was all just stupid gossip and I didn't listen to any of it, but…"

"But what?"

"But then they started in with the questions about Em."

"What kind of questions?"

"About her paternity. About Me," he said, taking me aback. I remembered Jessica mentioning something about that during my first day back at school, but I just thought she was being an idiot and dismissed it. I thought that would be the end of it, but the fact that Edward had listened to that crap really pissed me off.

"You were the one who said to ignore them, that it didn't matter what people said about us," I told him.

"I can take a lot of shit, Bella, really I can, but when they started to bring Em into it… I just…I can't sit back and let that go."

That was the issue all along? _Seriously?_ It just pissed me off even more. "We both know Em is yours, so what different does it make who says what?" I asked heatedly.

He stared at me for a minute.

"Wait, you do know she's yours, right? You know this is all stupid lies. I mean, even if I had sex with someone else on that boat, _which I didn't_, I had like three or four periods on the island before I got pregnant."

"I know she's mine, but…"

"But?" I asked incredulously.

"I hate this fucking shit," he mumbled to himself under his breath while looking up at the ceiling. "You wanted to know why I was pissed at my mom, well, here it goes. The head doctor at the hospital is a friend of hers, and after reevaluating Em's record…he thinks she's older than a year. Her development is more like a year and a half year old."

"How could that be?" I asked confused.

"We never kept track of time, Bella. Days, weeks, months, we couldn't tell the difference."

"I had my period…three times at least."

"That's what I told my mom, but….the doctor also said that it's common during the first trimester to have some bleeding like that….You did say that your periods were much lighter than normal, right?"

"Ok, let me get this straight," I said while scrunching my brows. "First, I don't remember having sex on the boat, and now I'm mistaking periods for early pregnancy spotting?"

"I know it's stupid… but there's more." He took another deep breath. "My cousin Rose graduated the same year Newton did, and apparently when the boat came back without us, Newton was really freaked out. He told some people that you had just had sex before it happened, and he was worried your body would wash up and authorities would find his DNA all inside you and think he had something to do with you falling overboard. Rose caught wind of it and mentioned something about that to my mom, so that combined with the conflict in Em's age, she tried convincing me that I should just get a paternity test to settle it…So I got pissed. I told her that I didn't need a stupid paternity test, and I haven't spoken to her since…"

I felt my stomach drop.

"Why didn't you tell me any of this was happening?" I whispered, unable to speak any louder.

"Because it was all bullshit and I didn't want you stressing about nothing, you had enough to worry about. I thought I could handle it on my own, I thought it would die down and eventually go away, but when Tanya told me last week that she had heard about it, I knew it was getting way bigger than I thought. And then tonight she stopped by and told me that she heard Mike saying he was actually going to formally request a paternity test, and I lost it."

I was speechless. I knew the social gossip of a small town was bad, but I never thought it could be that painfully destructive. Those people and their lies were like a pack of wild hyenas –circling their prey and looking for weaknesses. How could anyone be so cruel as to try to rip a family apart?

But the most troubling part of the whole thing is Mike's claims. Why would he request a paternity test if he knew we never had sex? Why would he tell people that we had unprotected sex right after the boat returned without us? Rose was a lot of things, but she wouldn't lie about something like that, especially when she knew it would hurt her cousin. Could it have happened the way Mike said? I thought about what he said to me that day at the pool – _"Just so we're on the same page, you fell off the boat yourself, right?"_

Oh god, no.

"Em looks just like you," I said in a rush, trying to grab onto anything that would prove that it wasn't even slightly possible.

"I know," Edward said soothingly. "I'm not worried about the results of the test, it's just….You don't know what it's like, you never had anyone question if she was yours."

"I do know what that's like, they did that to me in Mexico," I told him.

His jaw locked, and then he looked down for a few moments before finally looking back up at me.

"I just couldn't let Newton go through with the request….So I went to find him. I don't know what I was planning to do once I got to him, but then I heard him laughing at that party and I lost control of myself. Every swim practice he had that same smug laugh whenever he made me do something, and I couldn't take it anymore."

"So…all the times you said you were going out with the swim team?"

"I never went out with the swim team," he admitted. "I was trying to get to the bottom of everything and fix it before it got out of hand…Emmett has been driving me wherever I needed to go."

"So, you lied," I said absently. Him lying was nothing compared to everything else that was going on, but for whatever reason, that was the only thing I could grasp at the moment.

"I didn't want you to know about any of it," he said again. "I thought I could protect you…It's my job to protect you."

"None of it would have mattered if you knew without a doubt that she was yours," I said quietly. "We would have just done what we have been doing – ignoring them and refusing to allow anything to come between us. But instead, you chose to lie and sneak around when we swore to each other we'd never lie. So be honest with me now. Are you having doubts? Because we can go get the paternity test done right away if you are."

"I don't want a paternity test because it doesn't matter either way. If it is all true, it wouldn't change anything," he said slowly. "I delivered her, I was the first person to hold her, and I took care of her for those horrible hours after she was born when I wasn't sure you were going to wake up again… We raised her for a year on that island together, and there is nothing in the world that would change how I feel about her."

"If it doesn't matter to you either way, then let's just take the test to end the public speculation."

"No," he snapped. "Let's just say that in the point zero one percent chance that Em isn't… I'm not going to let anyone come in here and try to tell me that I don't have a right to her. She's mine. You're both mine, and I refuse to share either of you with anyone. I don't have a plan B, Bella. You and Em, you're my entire life. Everything I do, every minute of the day, I'm thinking about ways to keep us together, to plan for our future together. If I lost you…" he let his sentence trail off.

"You would never lose us," I assured him softly while reaching my arms around him. "I don't know why any of this is happening, but I know in my heart that it's all bullshit. Em is yours… in every sense of the word. But if you don't want to take the test then I understand that too. I wish you would have told me what was going on, but now it's my turn to handle it."

"What? Bella, what are you going to do?"

I bit my bottom lip. "I'm not sure yet, but I swear to you, I will fix it and find out why Mike is lying."


	30. Predators

Chapter 30 - Predators

"Bella, there is no way I'm going to leave you to handle this," Edward said strongly.

"Well, you know what, you don't have a choice."

"Oh, I don't?" he challenged me.

"Nope. You didn't give me a choice by not telling me what was going on, so now it's my turn. Besides, I'm a lot more skilled at handling gossip than you are."

I started the truck and began driving again.

"Where are we going?"

"Home," I told him.

"Is Em back there yet?"

"No, she's staying the night with Renee."

"Well, why don't you drop me off at Emmett's house then."

I slammed on my breaks and stared at him for a moment. "So you only want to come home if Em is there?"

"At the moment, yes. Bella, Charlie just arrested me…"

"So now you're pissed at him? He was just doing his job."

"No, I'm not pissed at him at all….But I'm sure I'm the last person he wants to see right now."

"Don't be a coward," I told him. I meant it to sound like a joke, but it came out a little harsh.

"Ok, fine. But don't be mad at him if he kicks me out. I mean, I would if I were him."

When we got to the house, Charlie stood and stared down Edward. "Are you ok, son?"

"Yeah…Sorry about that," he replied.

"Well I reckon high school can't be easy after what you've been through."

"I'm not making excuses for my behavior, Sir. I screwed up, and I'll handle whatever punishment I get."

"Mistakes happen, it's all part of growing up. Newton was saying he was going to press charges, but I don't think you have to worry too much about it. He was at a party with a bunch of underage kids doing illegal things. He's in a worse position then you are, you can be sure about that," Charlie told him. "Now if everything is ok, I'm going to head back to work."

"Thanks," Edward said sincerely.

"Be safe dad," I said as he left.

When we were alone, Edward and I went upstairs to our room and just sat on the bed together, trying to get a grasp on all the day's events. It had all been too much. Even though we discussed the major points in the truck, I still had more questions for him; the problem was that my mind was just too jumbled to think clearly enough to know what I needed to ask.

I looked at him, searching for the right words to begin, and he looked back, waiting for me to say what I needed to say. But I felt like I was about to drown. The gravity of the situation had pulled me to the bottom of the ocean, and I was stuck in that haze of confusion that people get right before they lose consciousness from a lack of air.

I was honestly dizzy.

He must have known how I was feeling, and he definitely knew how to fix it; Edward always knew exactly what I needed, no matter what the issue was….

He placed his hand gently on my cheek, and then leaned in for a tender kiss. I felt slightly better from the contact – it was like someone pushing air into retracted lungs…but I needed more and I needed it desperately.

We took each other's clothes off like a well orchestrated dance, and after he pushed into me, I tightened my thighs on his hips and then pulled him even further into me, trying to get him as close and as deep as humanly possible. He rested his forehead on mine, and we both stilled. We just held each other like that for an immeasurable amount of time, and suddenly I could breathe again. It seemed we were always just holding our breaths until we were connected again, and it was a relief that couldn't properly be described.

"No more secrets, no more lies," I murmured after some time. "You're the only one who's ever been inside of me," I assured him doubtlessly.

"I know. I'm so sorry, Bella," he replied softly.

"I'm sorry too… We can't let anything come between us again. I need you forever."

"Forever," he repeated.

He kissed me sweetly again, and then our passionate desperation took over. He thrust into me roughly and tenderly at the same time, and I met his movements with upwards thrusts of my own as I held onto him so tightly that my limbs were sure to ach afterwards.

Each time we made love it was so much more than physical, but that time it was almost a ballad. The emotions of life, all the good, all the bad, the highs and lows, they all had a place in the way we moved together. And like any other beautiful song, there was definitely a powerful crescendo leading to the ultimate climactic ending.

How was it possible that I loved him even more than I did that morning? It seemed that every obstacle we faced, we only became closer and that much more in love. It was unyielding and irrevocable, and my confidence in us grew with every struggle.

We stayed tangled all night, and only broke apart when we heard Renee's car pull up in the driveway. I was thankful that Renee had come to bring Em home though, because our daughter was the only thing we'd be willing to pull ourselves apart for at the moment, and I needed to be spending that day trying to come up with some sort of plan to fix the mess we were in.

But of course, I couldn't spend the entire day plotting, my family needed my attention as well, and I couldn't think of a better way to spend my Sunday then with my little family at the beach.

Em was so happy at the ocean, and seeing her that happy made Edward and I happy. Life was so much simpler when it was just the three of us, and I was missing our island more than ever.

"Maybe we should move to some remote area…like a ranch on a hundred acres, and then home-school Em," I suggested to Edward as we walked barefoot through the waves with our arms wrapped around each other. Em was dancing ahead of us excitedly, and collecting shells that she'd put in her bucket.

"We could do that," Edward said absently.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him concerned.

He shook his head. "I really hate people. I hate them so much and it kind of makes me feel bad for Em."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want her to feel that way. I want her to grow up and have friends…I want her to fall in love and have a family of her own."

I leaned my head onto his shoulder as we walked. "I want that too. It's just Forks. The people have nothing better to do then mess with other people's lives... But I do think there is a positive from all of this."

"What's that?" he asked, honesty baffled.

"Well, it's toughened us up and strengthened us as a family. I doubt there's much more that will shock us anymore."

"Daddy, bird!" Em shouted excitedly, grabbing our complete attention again.

"Yeah, I see it, baby!" Edward said just as excitedly back.

"Fish!" she then said while pointing at the sand in front of her.

I narrowed my eyes to try to see what she was talking about, and sure enough, there was a dead fish on the sand. Its head was missing and its stomach looked like it had been eaten out, and surprisingly, the sight of it made me want to vomit.

"Eat it?" Em asked.

"No," Edward and I said at the same time.

"It's yucky, baby," I told her.

"Cook it," she said excitedly before running to grab the stick we had passed a bit ago.

"Maybe we should go on a camping trip before the weather gets too bad," Edward suggested. Your dad mentioned a lake he used to always take you to when you were little…We could fish, build a fire…sleep under the stars."

"Or the rain clouds," I pointed out.

"Ok, maybe we'll bring a tent," he said with a laugh.

I smiled. "That would be nice. But I have to admit, that dead fish is kind of grossing me out…. So maybe we can bring a cooler full of food."

"So your fish cleaning days are over, huh?" he said amused.

"It's funny how having options can make certain things less appealing…. Food wise," I clarified, not wanting him to think I was talking about him.

"And having options can make you grateful for what you already have…. Romance wise," he joked, but was serious.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too," he replied adoringly. It didn't really matter what was happening in the world around us, we were on our own island completely safe from everyone and everything. It may have been a metaphorical island, but it was still an oasis in the middle of social hell.

…

"Hello my loves!" Renee said overly excitedly when she came to watch Em on Monday. "So is everything back to being perfect in the Cullen/Swan world?" she asked us.

"_Our world_ has never been the issue….it's the world around us that sucks," I said vaguely.

We kissed Em goodbye, and then headed to school.

"So, what's your plan?" Edward asked me as I drove.

"Still figuring it out," I said honestly. I had a few ideas, but nothing really set and I knew I'd end up having to wing it. But I was still extremely confident that I would succeed. The more time that I had to think about it, the more of that boat trip I remembered. As strange as it sounded, being on the island made me forget a lot of things….well, maybe it wasn't forgetting, it was more like….slipping my memory. I had to actually try to dig in my mind and think about things in order to recall them, and I was saddened to remember that I definitely got a little drunk on more than one night on that boat – but drunk and wasted so badly that I blacked out were two entirely different things.

I never had sex with Mike Newton. I was sure of it. I was already sure that Edward was Em's father, but being sure that I never had sex with that disgusting prick was a relief, and it also added to my anger. What the fuck was he up to? I knew a lot of guys would lie about having sex with certain chicks, but why request a paternity test? It just didn't make sense and I was going to make damn sure he explained himself.

"Bella, just don't do anything…."

"Stupid?" I said with a smile.

"Yeah, don't do anything stupid," Edward replied before we kissed and walked away to our separate classrooms.

"Don't worry, I'm done being stupid," I said to myself as I went.

My first idea was to question Jessica now that she was hopefully sober and away from her party, but I couldn't find her. But as I was walking to my second class of the day, I spotted him. The jackass was just walking into the boy's locker room, but I couldn't risk losing my chance to confront him, so I followed him in.

I ducked into a toilet stall and waited until the locker room cleared out, and then I slowly searched out my target. Apparently Mike was having some prep time, or as I called it, janitor time as he was bringing used towels out of the showers to be washed.

"Well, well, if it isn't my potential baby daddy," I said mockingly.

"Bella!" he squealed as if I scared him. "Wha...what are you doing in here?"

I almost laughed at how messed up his face was. Edward really did a number on him, and I wanted to rub salt in his wounds by making fun of him, but that wasn't important at the moment.

"I just saw you come in here and I wanted to talk to you about your paternity test for my daughter."

"How did you know about that?" he asked nervously.

"Oh you know how high school is, good news spreads like wildfire."

"So…what do you want to talk about?" he asked while standing up straight to try to create faux confidence.

"We never had sex," I said evenly. "So why the hell would you request a paternity test?"

"Look Bella, it's not my fault you can't remember what we did when you were drunk. You should be grateful that I'm willing to put my life on hold to step up and do the responsible thing. Never mind the fact that anybody would be a better father for your kid than that loose cannon freak Cullen."

"Oh, I get it, you're jealous," I said, suddenly having it all become clear. "You're so jealous of all the attention Edward is getting that you just tried to think of the one thing that would bring him down."

"I don't give a shit about him or his attention," he said straight faced.

"Then why are you lying?" I asked, getting frustrated.

"I just want to do the right thing," he said.

"The right thing?" I asked incredulously. "Edward is my daughter's father. She's a year old, which means that there is no possible way you could be her father regardless of whether we ever had sex or not."

"Yeah well, from what I hear, her age isn't exactly certain, now is it?" he said smugly.

"WE NEVER HAD SEX!" I exploded, losing my patience. "I was never drunk enough to not remember something like that."

"Think about it for a minute, if you can't remember it, then you wouldn't even be able to remember that you don't remember it," he said slowly.

"What? That doesn't even make sense!" I said irately.

"Look, that's my story and I'm sticking to it," he said carelessly. "By the way, we're going to have to schedule the test soon, I'm taking a trip at the end of the month and I'd really like to get this all handled before then."

"Ugh!"

Obviously, I wasn't going to get anywhere with him, so I needed a new strategy. It was right in the middle of class time and the halls and courtyard were virtually empty, so I walked around aimlessly while I tried to come up with something. I had needed Edward's protection on the island, but back in the land of the cold and heartless, it was my job to protect him and I would not fail.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that school and the island dangers weren't much different. Both were full of predators that tried to tear us apart. Real snakes, people snakes, they were both equally poisonous….which suddenly gave me an idea, but I'd need a little help.

After a quick stop to get the help I needed, I went back to the locker room.

"You know, I could have you suspended for coming in here," Mike threatened me when I walked back up to him.

"I'm not leaving until I get the truth."

"Well…good luck with that," he said with a sleazy smile.

"Can you at least tell me where we had sex?" I asked a little more gently. "I mean, was it on the deck, in the cabins? I think if you told me I might be able to remember."

He looked at me suspiciously for a moment, and then smirked. "Yeah, I bet you do wish you remembered. You know, I would love to give you a refresher."

"Really?" I asked while stepping closer to him with a seductive grin.

"Oh yeah…you are eighteen, right?"

"Of course." I took two more steps closer... The smell of his breath reminded me of the worms I had lived on for awhile, but I forced myself to ignore it because throwing up on him wouldn't be the best thing at the moment.

I reached my arms up to his disgusting shoulders, and then I grabbed a hold of him like I was going in for a kiss….and kneed him in the balls.

"SHIT! You fucking whore, what was that for?" he asked angrily as he dropped to the ground and writhed in pain. When I was satisfied that he was incapacitated enough, I pulled out my accomplice from my bag.

"What…What are you doing?" he asked in his high pitched voice of genital pain.

I kneeled down so he could look at me. "I want you to meet a friend of mine. This is Sam," I said while putting the snake on his chest.

"Holy Shit!"

"Oh, don't move!" I warned him. "Sam is a Boomslang Snake, very poisonous…Trust me, I know." – Technically, 'Sam' was really a harmless science lab pet which definitely was not a Boomslang, but Mike didn't need to know that.

"Get it off of me!" he cried out.

"Nope, not until you tell me the truth."

"You're fucking crazy!"

"Yeah, I am….but being on an island for two years can do that to you. Now start talking. I think Sam here is getting hungry."

"Ok, we never had sex!" he screeched. "I was lying, alright; now get it off of me!"

"Why would you lie about that and then ask for a paternity test?" I asked calmly, moving the snake so it would stay on his chest.

"What difference does it make? It would have come back negative and Cullen could just go back to being the kid's dad, so no harm done, right?"

"Mmm, nope, not buying it," I said, moving the snake once again. "Why go to all that trouble?"

"Because Cullen is a freak and I wanted to get into his head and screw with him. There is no way someone like him should be doing so well with swimming, it's just not fair," he said in a rush.

I cocked my head to the side and I could see my reflection in the sunglasses hanging from his shirt. I looked bat shit crazy…It was awesome.

"It's funny, I would believe that, except for the fact that right after we disappeared….long before Edward joined the swim team, you went around telling people you were worried about my body washing up and finding your DNA on me… Now, what was that about?"

"Just get the snake off of me."

"Nope." To put just a little more pressure on him, I moved the snake to his neck. "You know, the largest artery in your body is right there in your neck…which is why all those vampire movies show them biting there. I'm sure this snake would do the same." - I really had no idea what I was talking about, but I was positive that in idiot like Mike wouldn't be any wiser.

"OK!" he wailed. "I was worried about them finding your body because they would figure out that I ruffied you right before you fell overboard. I was freaking out and Jessica noticed and questioned me, so I lied and said it was DNA from sex that I was worried about instead. I never meant for it to get so out of control but then everyone said I should ask for a paternity test and when I said no they started to question my story….Fuck, it's the truth, Ok. Now get this fucking thing off of me!"

"You ruffied me?" I asked in utter shock. I felt like I was going to be sick. Not only was the bastard planning to rape me, but he was the reason why I fell overboard in the first place.

"Look, I didn't know it was a ruffie until afterwards. My friend Eric said it would just loosen you up a little. I wasn't going to force myself on you, I swear, I…."

I couldn't listen to anymore, so I kicked him hard in the gut.

"You Bastard!" I screamed, and then turned to leave before he got the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

I had always thought getting motion sickness and passing out that day was destiny…the path I needed to take to lead me to Edward and Em…but it wasn't. It was just some disgusting guy's plan to have his way with me.

It didn't change the way I felt about my family, nothing ever could, but it seriously punctured a hole in my chest.

"BELLA!" he called, but didn't attempt to stop me physically because the snake was still on him. "It's my word against yours, and I will deny it until the day I die. DO YOU HEAR ME?"

_Keep walking, Bella_ – I thought to myself, but I stopped and turned back to him despite myself.

"You have no proof to what I just told you," he added strongly. "It's your word against mine. I can find multiple witnesses to back up the fact that you can't remember shit from before. And it's completely understandable that you've been overwhelmed and may not be thinking clearly now. If you get this snake off of me, we can keep all this between us and no one has to know what a fucking nut job you are."

I bit my bottom lip and considered what he was saying. He was probably right, no one would believe me over him; he was a socially loved swim coach, and I was a former fuckup who had been taking some time to get readjusted to society, but…

"The thing is Mike, I am thinking clearly. I'm thinking so clearly in fact that I just recorded and sent this entire conversation to my father over my cell phone. I hope your ass can take prison, you son of a bitch, I hear pretty faces like yours are really popular amongst the inmates."

"Oh shit," he whined, and then he actually started crying like a little girl. "Can you please just take this thing off of me?"

As much as I didn't want the snake to suffer in Mike's presence, there was no way I was going to take it off of him. That snake was the only thing keeping him away from me, and I was not going to risk removing it.

Without another word, I turned and walked out of the locker room feeling a mix relief and horror. I wasn't lying about sending the conversation to Charlie, but I still felt sick about the entire thing. There was nothing beautiful or innocent about the way we ended up on the island. I was drugged with the intent of screwing me, and Edward was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He chose to save me because he was a good person, but because of Mike, his life was forever altered as well, and it just wasn't fair.

But the worst part was the guilt I was feeling. Mike wanted to take advantage of me like that because I had opened myself up to it. I had flaunted my body around like a slut but refused to ever give it up to anyone, thus making sleazy guys like Mike think that he had to drug me to get into my pants. And to top it all off, I had actually wanted to have sex with him back then.

"Bella, calm down," Edward cooed after I pulled him out of his class and told him everything that happened. I could tell he was pissed and it took every ounce of self restraint to keep him there with me instead of running after Mike and beating him down yet again, but I needed him more so he wasn't about to leave me.

"I can't calm down," I said through my tears. "It was all his doing. We weren't meant to be on that island; and you…you were just an innocent bystander to all the insane stupidity. How could you not be angry with me after all of this?"

"Angry with you?" he asked incredulously. "Baby, you did nothing wrong."

"Yes I did. I was on the boat deck when I shouldn't have been, and messing around with the prick. If I had just stayed in my cabin that night, if I would have just remained friends with Angela and stayed clear of Mike and Jessica and all those other idiots, then none of it would have happened."

"So…should I be sending all of them 'Thank You' cards?" Edward asked unexpectedly.

I looked up at him, unsure I heard him right.

"Look, I won't hesitate to kill that fucker if I ever cross paths with him again, but… none of that makes what we had on the island any less special or meant to be. However the hell we got there, we were there, and that was exactly where we needed to be. We washed up on that island as people neither of us was proud of, and when we left…we had Em, and we had each other. Nothing and no one can ever take that away from us."

Of course he was right, but that was what was so great about our relationship. When one of us would get down or start having stupid ridiculous thoughts, the other would know just what to say to fix it.

"So, what now?" I asked with a sigh.

"Let's go home."

"But schools not done for the day yet," I said.

"It is for us… Let's take the rest of the week off and take Em on that camping trip."

"Really?" I asked hopefully.

"Really. We don't need to be here, it's not like we're going to fall behind from missing."

I giggled lightly. "We're already behind."

"Exactly; this has all been overwhelming. We should have taken it a little slower from the beginning, but since we didn't, we need to take a break now."

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have rushed back into school so soon."

"Stop beating yourself up over everything. You were right to want to move forward, and us taking a breather isn't a step back."

"What about your swimming?"

"One, I don't really care about swimming, and two, I'm the best they've ever had, what are they going to do, kick me off because I missed a few days?"

I smiled, suddenly feeling worlds better. "Ok, let's do it."

But on our way to the parking lot, my stomach jumped a little to see two police cars and Charlie stepping out of one.

"Bella, are you ok?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah… I'm just glad you heard all of that."

Charlie wrapped his arms around me gently. "Don't worry honey, Newton will never bother you again."

"Thanks dad."

"You taking the rest of the day off?"

"I think we're taking the rest of the week off. We're going to go pick up Em and go camping up at the lake."

He nodded. "Ok, that's a good idea. Make sure you take your phones and chargers though." Then he looked at Edward. "Take care of them."

"Always," Edward replied with a polite smile.

"I know you will," Charlie said confidently before saying goodbye and heading onto campus to make an arrest.


	31. Family

Chapter 31- Family

"You know, if you'd just get your license already, I wouldn't have to do all the driving all the time," I teased Edward as I drove us through the woods to get to our camping location.

He responded by leaning back in his seat and putting his legs up on the dashboard. "Why would I get my license when I have my suga-mama to drive me everywhere?"

"Mama, sugar?" Em asked excitedly from the back seat.

"Yeah, I bet you've had way more than enough sugar to last a lifetime from Grandma Renee, huh?" I said while looking at her in my rearview mirror.

"Em want sugar," she squealed happily. Since Renee had been watching her fulltime, Em started referring to herself in the third person, which was both adorable and slightly annoying at the same time. I tried telling my mom to say 'you' and 'me' when talking to Em, but she didn't listen. Instead of saying something like 'Do you want me to get you a cookie?' my mother would say 'Does Em want grandma to get her a cookie?' It was rather frustrating. And Renee also had a bad habit of thinking everything was better with sugar, which was one more reason why we were looking for a different option for Em's daily care.

"Doesn't Charlie own a real map?" Edward asked frustrated a little later while trying to mess with the electronic navigation device we were using.

"You would think," I said with a laugh. Charlie was never one for the latest gimmicks, but he was definitely more up to speed with such things than we were. It was amazing how far technology had come in just the two years we were gone for. They had similar electronics before we left, but not many people had them whereas now you rarely saw a car without one.

Obviously the navi couldn't take us all the way to the lake since it wasn't on a normal road, but the thing wouldn't even show us the nearest highway turnoff. After four separate phone calls to Charlie for directions, we finally pulled up to the lake just as the sky was beginning to change colors above us.

"I need to hurry and put up the tent before it gets dark," Edward said as he began unloading the truck.

"Ok, I'll help in just a minute," I replied while unbuckling Em from her car seat.

"This!" Em questioned excitedly when I stood her down outside.

"We're camping," I told her.

"Caping," she repeated, and then she saw the lake. "Ocean!"

"It's a lake," I said with a giggle.

She began running around the campsite, which I decided was fine since there was no one else around, so I went to help Edward.

"You know it's funny, building a house from sticks and twine is a lot easier than this," he said with a mix of humor and frustration as he wrestled with the tent poles.

"You are such a man," I teased. "There are instructions."

"I hate instructions," he pouted. "Instructions are for people who don't know what they're doing."

"You don't know what you're doing."

"I'll figure it out," he grumbled.

We had to remove the poles and switch them around three times before finally getting it right, which meant Edward had to light the fire in the dark.

"Hey, you're using matches?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah well those guys who took us off the island weren't really patient enough to let me grab my Swiss Army knife," he explained, still sour from the memory.

"Oh, that was your dad's too," I said sympathetically. I hadn't really thought about his knife since being back, but I was really sad from the realization it was gone. That thing had helped us so much, in fact, it was probably the reason we were able to survive at all.

He shrugged. "The only two things I really care about_ did _come off that island with me, so I'm not going to waste any time being ungrateful."

I smiled at him. "You're right."

The three of us sat on a log and enjoyed the fire by roasting hotdogs, and yes, he even told some cheesy scary stories. But after Em fell asleep on Edward's lap, we decided to turn in as well.

The next morning, Edward was hoping for better luck then we had with the navi and the tent, and he attempted to fish.

"Nothing is biting, huh?" I asked after an hour or so.

"It's not my fault," he said defensively. "I've never used a fishing pole before….You know, I think it's just poles in general that I have issues with."

I laughed. "I guess we need to find pole-less tents and forget fishing altogether."

"No, I just need to find a stick and make a spear," he said with sudden determination.

"And what are you going to sharpen it with?" I asked him.

"Hey, I may not have my Swiss Army knife, but I'm not completely inept," he said while walking to the truck and pulling out Charlie's tackle-box. Inside the box was several different knifes usually used to cut line and skin fish, and Edward picked the one he thought would best work for whittling wood.

While Edward stubbornly worked on carving a stick that he found into a sharp point, I got a carton of milk out of the cooler and fed Em some cereal.

"Daddy, fish?" Em asked me as we watched Edward take his new spear into the water.

"Maybe," I said, not wanting to tell her that he was fishing just in case he didn't catch anything. It wasn't that I didn't have faith in his fishing skills, but I had to admit, I had a feeling he was going to come back empty handed….which after about two hours of trying, he did.

"I'm a complete failure," he said sadly after finally giving up.

"No, baby, you're not a failure. If it was a matter of life and death I'm sure you could figure it out, but this is supposed to be a fun, relaxing week and we have lots of food, so don't worry about it," I said supportively while rubbing the back of his neck as he leaned his head down on my chest.

And of course, like every other time we embraced, Em wanted to be a part of it so she grabbed onto our legs and hugged them tightly.

"Daddy, sad?" Em asked concerned.

Edward then surprised both Em and me by grabbing her and tossing her into the air before catching her and peppering her face with kisses. "How could I be sad when I have my girls here?" he asked her before moving his kisses onto my face as well.

Edward snapped out of his sullen attitude after that, and we just enjoyed a little relaxing time together, exploring the area around the lake. But when I decided to take advantage of the abnormally warm day mixed with our obscure location by removing my shirt, Edward looked at me like he'd never seen me half naked before.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" I asked with a giggle when he added drooling to his gawking.

"Huh?" he asked as if he didn't understand the question or couldn't hear what I was saying.

"Stop it," I said, suddenly becoming self-conscious.

"Stop what?" he asked clueless.

"Stop staring at me like that."

"I….can't," he said absently. He then raised his hand towards my breasts like a brainless oaf moving against his will.

I just dropped my head to the side in annoyed amusement, and let him grope me like a horny teenager having his first experience with boobs.

"This is kind of silly," I said after a minute when his hands went from light touching to full on kneading and massaging. "You're acting like you've never seen breasts before."

"It's been a long time," he said evenly.

"Yeah….like a few hours."

"When did I see them a few hours ago?" he asked, as if he honestly didn't remember.

"Uh…in the tent….before Em woke up this morning," I said slowly.

He thought about it for a moment. "Oh, right…But that didn't count."

"Why not?"

"Because we were inside. This," he said while rubbing my breasts again. "This is….something else."

"This is how I lived every day on the island since before Em was born," I reminded him. "Now stop acting like a horny teenager and take off your shirt too."

"I am a horny teenager," he mumbled while complying with my request and pulling his shirt over his head.

"Mommy no shirt, daddy no shirt, Em no shirt. Off," Em said excitedly while pulling at the bottom of her pink Princess Rapunzel T-shirt.

"Ok, baby," I said while taking off her shirt and giving Edward a warning glare. He needed to get a hold of himself and control his teenage hormones….at least until Em went down for her nap. He understood my look, and of course he agreed and forced himself to ignore my exposed chest.

For the next few hours we did our best to pretend like we were back on our island again, and when Em fell asleep for her afternoon nap, Edward was rewarded for his patience by getting to do whatever he wanted to me. He started with his lips and tongue caressing my nipples, and ended with us making love in the lake. The water was cold, but we hardly noticed and couldn't bring ourselves to care. Besides, we kept each other plenty warm by all the heat we were making between us.

But as the weather in Washington often did, the sky closed in and the clouds brought the cold back before releasing a gently steady rain upon us. So the three of us put our shirts back on and spent the evening cuddled together in the tent, just basking in the serenity of being together as a family.

That was the way life was supposed to be: calm, innocent, honest, and so full of love that no one or nothing could come between us or would even try. But as a couple more days passed of wonderful quality time, I was beginning to dread our inevitable return to society.

"Can't we just stay here forever?" I asked Edward hopelessly. "Maybe get a little cabin out here somewhere and just live away from everyone else. Our family can come and visit."

"And bring us food and supplies," Edward said with a chuckle. "But what about working?"

"We don't need to work. We'll just live off the land like we did on the island."

"I think my lack of success with fishing proves that's not the best idea."

"But if our lives depended on it…." I let my sentence trail off because I realized how silly I was being. Our lives didn't depend on it, and choosing to move so far away from any kind of medical care and even grocery stores wasn't the best idea.

"Let's just enjoy the time we have left, and make a point to take these little camping vacations as often as we can," Edward suggested.

"Promise?"

"Of course," he said with a smile before kissing my forehead.

We had three days left of our 'vacation' camping trip, when suddenly our family quality time was cut short.

"Oh no," I whined disappointedly as a jeep pulled up in the camp site across from ours. It was a public camp ground, but it was such a remote location and off season that I figured we'd have the luxury of solitude until we left. I guess I was wrong, but I didn't realize how wrong I was until the people got out of the jeep.

"It's party time!" Emmett's loud voice boomed through the woods as he jumped out of the car with Rose exiting the passenger side.

"What the fuck?" Edward said quietly to himself. "Please tell me you just have some kind of urgent message and you're going to leave after you say it?" he asked them.

"Nope, we're camping the weekend." Emmett said excitedly.

"And you just so happened to have picked the same location as us?" Edward asked skeptically before turning to Rose. "And you hate camping."

And then a second car pulled up and Alice and Jasper stumbled out. "Don't be mad," Alice said quickly. "I was worried when I didn't see you guys at school, so I begged Charlie to tell me where you were."

"Ok, so why did you come?" Edward asked her. "I'm sure Charlie told you we were fine."

"Dude, how could you guys go camping without even inviting us?" Emmett asked, as if he was honestly offended.

"Because we wanted some family time," Edward replied shamelessly. "Without other people."

"Oh….shit," Emmett said, sincerely surprised. "We didn't think about that."

"Yeah, we'll totally go," Jasper added.

"Cool," Edward replied casually. "See ya."

"No, wait," I said with a sigh. "You guys don't have to go." I had no idea why I opened my big fat mouth, but I found myself feeling bad that they had driven all that way to hang out with us and we were just sending them away. We had already spent four days with just the three of us, and Edward did say we would be vacationing regularly, so perhaps it was a good chance to get to know them a little better.

"Really?" Emmett asked hopefully.

"Really?" Edward repeated with a more disturbed tone.

"They came all this way," I told Edward.

"Well, they shouldn't have," he replied sourly.

"Hey Bella, I actually came because I really need to talk to you," Rose said unexpectedly.

"I don't think there's anything Bella needs to hear from you," Edward said defensively.

"It'll only take a few moments," Rose insisted.

"Then it could have waited until we returned home," he argued.

"Charlie wasn't sure how long you were planning to be gone for," Alice jumped in. "He said a week, but you may decide to stay longer."

Edward rolled his eyes and was about to respond with another bitter comment, but I stopped him. "Ok, Rose, if you have something to say to me, go ahead and say it," I told her. I was done being left in the dark when there was something I should know, and I refused to let it happen again.

"Can we speak in private?" she asked.

I glanced at Edward suggestively, so he huffed and walked over to where Em was playing with rocks, and Alice, Jasper, and Emmett joined them; we vowed not to keep anymore secrets so he knew I'd tell him whatever Rose had to say anyway.

I had no idea what Rose wanted to talk to me about, so I braced myself for more bad news. It seemed whenever things were going good, something horrible always came along to threaten our peace.

Thankfully, this time, Rose didn't have anything negative to say. "Bella, I believe I owe you an apology. I'm really sorry for going to Esme with what I heard about you…I should have just kept it to myself or came to you with my concerns."

"Yes, you should have," I said boldly.

"I'm not trying to making excuses, but I was just honestly worried about Edward. We may not always get along, but he's like a younger brother to me and he's so…naive when it comes to….well, everything. I just didn't want to see him get hurt."

"Well, I do understand that, but what you and Esme don't seem to understand is how much we've both changed since being on the island. Edward may not be as experienced when it comes to the social aspects of high school and dating, but he's a lot more capable then you guys give him credit for. He handled the situation the way he thought was right, and even though I wish he would have done things differently, how the hell is he supposed to know what to do if he isn't given the opportunity to try."

"You're right, it's just that Edward is all we have left of my uncle, and it's hard for us to just let him fail and get hurt."

"But Edward's not all you have left, Em is part of him too and you all basically pushed us away," I argued.

"That wasn't what we were trying to do at all," Rose said quickly. "Esme adores Em, and I know being away from her has been almost as difficult as it was for her to lose Edward two years ago…She just wanted all three of you to be sure."

"To be sure of what?" I asked incredulously.

"Look, it wasn't even Esme. She's friends with Newton's mom, and when that woman caught wind that he may be Em's father, she threw a fit. Esme knew they were going to ask for a paternity test and she didn't want Edward to be sideswiped. It would devastate Edward if he wasn't Em's father, and she was just trying to protect him…give him time to accept the fact that someone was going to contest it."

"You know, the first thing she said about Em when she saw her in Mexico was how much she looks like Edward, so why would she even question it?" I asked heatedly.

"She never really questioned it. She wanted Edward to get the test to protect him and Em from the Newtons and all the speculations. Edward just didn't want to even consider the test so he got upset and basically told her she wasn't welcome in Em's life anymore. She's completely heartbroken."

"So heartbroken that she blamed me for Edward being arrested and slammed the door in my face?" I said bitterly.

"Yeah, she told me about that too. You just have to understand how overwhelmed she's been with everything. It's been…emotionally draining on our entire family."

"Yeah, on my family as well," I replied.

"I know it has, and I'm not excusing her behavior…or mine. I just wanted to come talk to you and ask if you could ever forgive us. I know you know what it's like to live with regrets."

Of course I had regrets, and of course I could forgive. I was still very angry with all of them, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it just wasn't worth holding grudges. Edward had forgiven me multiple times, and the things I had done to him weren't any better than what Esme and Rose did to me. If Edward could forgive my bullying and my past horrible actions, then I should be able to forgive them as well. I had enough people in Forks to dislike, Edward's family didn't need to be amongst them. Besides, Em was half them, and she deserved a chance to know that side of her.

"Ok, I forgive you," I told her. "But, it's going to take Edward a lot more convincing, and he needs to be ok with Em having a relationship with you guys before she can have one."

"I know," Rose said with a friendly smile. "But thank you for listening. Regardless of whether or not Edward can forgive us, I'm glad we were able to make some peace. I can only imagine how rough this has all been on you."

"It has been rough, but…I think it's just made us stronger and we'll come out of it all as better people," I replied.

Edward was still upset about his cousins' intrusions, but after they set up their camps and we all gathered around the fire, it was actually almost…fun. I mean, don't get me wrong, nothing beat our family time, but when Emmett began telling his stories and cracking his jokes, I couldn't help but laugh and I suddenly felt strangely comfortable with all of them. Emmett had helped Edward with the entire gossip crap that happened, and though it was still something I wish he would have been honest with me about, I was glad Edward had someone he could trust to help him. And that's exactly what the four of them were, people we could trust. Everyone makes mistakes, I know that better than anyone; Rose made hers and she apologized, so I sincerely felt we could trust her moving forward as well. At the end of the day, they all cared about Edward and would support anything and everything he did – so that made them more then ok in my book.

"S'mores time!" Alice announced after dinner that evening.

"More?" Em asked clueless.

"You guys haven't been roasting marshmallows?" Alice asked me horrified, as if it was a sin to go camping without them.

"We were trying to give Em a break from all the sugar my mom's been feeding her," I explained.

"Oh come on, Em needs to have her first S'more on her first camping trip," Alice insisted.

"Her entire first year has been a camping trip," Edward argued.

"That didn't count," Alice dismissed him. "Come on, it's the best part of camping."

"Ok," I said with a sigh. "I guess one couldn't hurt."

But, of course, after Em tried her first S'more, one wasn't enough.

"Em want more Mores," she asked.

So she had two and I began to understand why Renee always gave her so much sugar – she was definitely hard to say no to.

When the melted chocolate and sticky marshmallows were cleaned off Em's face, she ran around on a crazy sugar high making everyone laugh at her hysterics before Edward finally got a hold of her and refused to put her down until she crashed in his arms. We put her to bed in the tent, and then rejoined the group around the fire.

"So Bella, how about it?" Emmett asked me with a sinister grin.

"How about what?" I asked.

"An arm wrestling match."

"Between me and _you_?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah, everyone here has battled me except you."

"Uh…"

"Emmett, she doesn't want to arm wrestle you," Edward said irritated.

"Well, maybe I do," I said.

"What's the point?" Edward asked me.

"Are you saying you think I can't possibly win?" I asked him with faux offense.

"Exactly," he replied audaciously.

"Well I think I have a chance…Nothing is impossible," I said with a grin. "Let's do it, Emmett."

"Ok, but I've never lost," Emmett warned me. If he had never lost, then I didn't really understand why he kept challenging people. Perhaps it was his strange way to welcome me as one of them, and I wasn't about to back down from that.

"On three," Jasper said as our unofficial referee. "One, two…three!"

I used all my strength to try to move Emmett's massive arm, but he just smiled and didn't even flex and I still couldn't make it budge. So then I got serious. I grabbed onto our conjoined hands with my free hand, and stood to use my entire body weight to push against him. Everyone laughed at my attempt, but Emmett was obviously not expecting it and he let me move him half way over before finally flexing his muscles and beating me regardless of my effort.

"Wow, I never took you for a cheater," Emmett said with a grin. "It didn't help you, but I have to admit, I am a little impressed. Not many people would have the balls to try to pull something like that with me."

"I don't have any balls at all," I replied. "Well, besides Edward's," I joked.

Emmett laughed. "See, I told you she owned your balls!" he razzed Edward.

"I never denied it," Edward responded casually. "The guys that deny being owned by their woman are usually the most whipped. You're a perfect example of that."

Rose snickered at that one.

"I am not whipped," Emmett said defensively.

"Hey Emmett, will you paint my nails for me?" Rose asked him out of nowhere.

"No," he said automatically.

"Please? I'll do that thing you like afterwards," she said while batting her eyes at him and leaning forward to squeeze her cleavage together.

"Ok," he said, suddenly eager to do whatever she asked.

"And you just proved Edward right," Jasper jumped in, making us all laugh including Rose. I suppose that was her point.

We joked around a little while longer, and then all turned in for the night. When the camping trip was finally over, I felt completely rejuvenated and clear headed after all the muck the past few weeks had caused. We had our family time, and some time to get to know Edward's extended family as well. I couldn't have asked for a better week, and we left that campground ready to face the world again.


	32. What Matters

Chapter 32 – What Matters

Going from our family time alone in the wilderness to back to high school was so vastly extreme that it almost felt like traveling to an entirely different planet, and I was already feeling homesick.

"When can we go back to the lake?" I asked Edward as he walked me to class.

He smiled. "Hopefully soon…but it's creeping closer to winter so we may have to wait until the spring or go somewhere else entirely."

"I vote somewhere else," I said quickly. It really didn't matter where we were, as long as we were together and away from Forks.

He chuckled. "Ok, we'll think about it and make some plans…. Hey, how about a road trip down to California?"

I grinned widely like an idiot. "As long as you get your license first. I'm tired of doing all the driving."

"I'll make an appointment at the DMV as soon as we get home this afternoon."

"Ok," I said overexcitedly.

The wonderful thoughts of going on another family trip were happily filling my mind throughout my first couple classes, but when lunch break arrived, I realized there were even more intrusive glares directed towards me than normal. What the hell was going on?

"So is it true?" a sour voice sounded from behind me. I turned around and saw Jessica's face distorted in bitterness as she glared at me with her arms crossed in front of her.

"Is what true?" I asked, slightly annoyed by her tone.

"You made up a bunch of lies then had your dad arrest Mike, just because you didn't want him doing the paternity test?"

"What? Who told you that?" I asked angrily.

"Mrs. Newton. I called his house when he didn't show up to school last week, and she told me everything."

"Ok, first of all, Mike Newton is in jail because he admitted that he roofied me on the Marine Biology trip, which was the reason why I fell overboard. My parents, along with Edward's family, thought we were dead for two years because of that bastard, and jail is exactly where he should be."

"He roofied you?" Jessica asked in shock. "He admitted it?"

"Yes, I recorded the entire thing."

"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry," she said sincerely. "He told me you two just had sex and that was why he was worried when you went missing. I can't believe he'd do something like that…Oh my god, did he rape you?"

"No. Thankfully the drug took effect as I was trying to walk back to my cabin on the boat, and I fell overboard. I'm just glad Edward was there to save me….hell, I would have rather drowned then let that prick have his way with me."

"So…there's no way he could be your baby's father?"

"Nope."

"God, what a fucking prick!"

"You're telling me."

"Really Bella….I'm really truly sorry. I believed his story and I may have told a few people."

"Yes, I know. But he's paying for it now, and that's what truly matters."

"No, he got out of jail on bail and plans to fight the charges."

"How can he do that?" I asked appalled.

"Sometimes recordings aren't admissible in court. If that's the case, then it's basically his word against yours."

"What?" I asked incredulously. "How do you know so much about it anyway?"

"My dad's an attorney, remember?"

"Shit," I said to myself. I wanted justice for what happened, but even more than that, I wanted Mike to be punished so that he could never do something like that again to a different unsuspecting girl. The son of a bitch worked at a high school, and I would bet that he was messing around with some of the students there. What would happen if one of them denied him or played hard to get? Would he slip them something and take what he wanted anyway?

I started off blaming myself for the incident, but at that moment I completely changed my mind. It didn't matter how a girl dressed or acted, she still had a right to choose who she was with and when. No one deserved to be taken advantage of in that way.

"What are you going to do?" Jessica asked me.

"Fight him," I told her. "Even if he gets off, everyone is going to learn what he did and hopefully that way people will know what he's capable of and stay away from him."

"Well, let me know if you need any help," she offered. "I owe you big time for what I did."

I couldn't think of a way for Jessica to help, but she took it upon herself to do what she did best and spread the word about Mike. By the time I was able to tell Edward about the possibility of Mike getting off, it seemed everyone in school knew what he did and had already turned their angry glares into supportive ones.

"I'm proud of you, Bella," Edward said unexpectedly.

"Why?" I asked clueless, but smiled in embarrassment just the same.

"You have become such a strong person since all of this. The hits just keep coming, but you refuse to back down from any of it. You've turned into a fighter, and that's an amazing thing, especially considering how far you've come from that girl who first washed up on that island."

I bit my lower lip. "I'm only strong because you made me that way. Without you, I'd still be that girl."

He shook his head. "It has always been inside you. This is who you were always meant to be."

I wove my fingers in with his. "You're right, it is," I said meaningfully. Edward made me a better person, but perhaps I made him one too. Perhaps we made each other who we were supposed to be, because it was our love for each other that made us strong. It gave us something worth fighting for, and we would continue to fight as long as there were battles to be won.

….

Later that week we were informed that for reasons I didn't understand, Jessica was right and my recording could not be used in the case against Mike, so all that was left was my claim; it was back to my word against his, but I refused to stop then. We would have to go to court and I would be forced to testify, but I was definitely willing to do it.

"The problem is that this was two years ago," my lawyer said as we were going over the case. "There's just no evidence. He's claiming that you brought these charges against him because you were upset that he was asking for a paternity test. Without the recording, there's not a lot we can do here."

"Maybe you're just not skilled enough to figure something out," Edward told him angrily.

"Well, you're welcome to try to find someone who is," the lawyer replied carelessly before getting up to leave.

"Good, we will," Edward replied strongly.

"Edward," I chided him quietly. As disappointed in what the lawyer had to say as I was, I didn't think it was his fault and I definitely was embarrassed by the way Edward spoke to him.

"That guy has to be the worst lawyer in the area," Edward said defensively.

"Well good lawyers are expensive and I'm not willing to spend all of our savings on this. I want to see Mike pay more than anyone, but I'd also like to have some money to take care of our family after graduation as well."

"I know, but we can't just let him get away with this," Edward said with quiet frustration.

"We're not; we just have to figure something out."

But the longer Mike went unpunished, the more we lost hope that he'd ever be.

And then one day, seemingly out of nowhere, we got a break.

"There's a new development and the trial is finally moving forward," Charlie informed me.

"What… how?" I asked.

"Eric Yorkie has admitted to selling Mike the drugs, and claims he sold them to him more than once."

"Seriously?" I asked reservedly, worried about getting too excited and then being disappointed when it doesn't actually help the situation. "But won't it be his word against Mike's?"

"Between your testimony and Eric's, they should have enough to convict him," Charlie told me. "Plus, there may be another girl coming forward to say he did the same thing to her….Well, obviously not the same exact thing, she didn't lose two years of her life from his actions."

I sighed. "I didn't lose two years of my life either dad. I know we have never really gone into much detail about it before, but I want you to know… we were ok on the island. I mean, once we settled into a routine and got used to everything…we had a good life there."

He smiled halfheartedly. "Well, I'm glad it wasn't all bad for you. I'd hate to know every day was a horrible struggle."

"We definitely had our trying times, but we would have been ok if we never left. I mean, don't get me wrong, I would have missed you terribly, but…we would have been happy there together."

"Well, I'm just happy you're all safe. That's what matters."

I nodded. "So, what made Eric come forward?" I asked curiously.

He shook his head in astonishment. "You'll never believe this, but Esme convinced him somehow."

"What?" I asked flabbergasted.

"Well she's known Mike and Eric's families for a long time, and somehow got Eric to admit to everything. I mean, we gave him a plea bargain for his testimony, but he's still in trouble as well so whatever she did must have been a big deal to get him to fess up."

"I have to go tell Edward," I said quietly. Edward had finished his homework early that afternoon and took Em to the park so I could concentrate on the rest of mine, but with news like that I decided to head out to tell him right away instead of waiting for him to return.

Needless to say, Edward was just as shocked as I was.

"How the hell would she convince the moron to come forward?" Edward asked, not really expecting an answer.

"I don't know…but I really think we should go over and talk to her. Regardless of what she's done in the past, she's still your mom and this rift has gone on long enough."

"I'm not going to just forget it all so quickly," Edward argued.

"I'm not asking you to forget it, but the biggest thing I've learned in the past two years is that holding grudges isn't worth it and doesn't solve anything…. And I learned that from you. If you can forgive me for the things I did, then surely we can move past the things your mom has done."

"The difference is that I didn't have anything to protect when I forgave you before. The things you did never threatened my family. It's nowhere near the same thing."

"Our family was never threatened at all. It didn't matter what anyone did or said, you weren't going to let anything come between us, remember. You were doing whatever you thought you had to do to fix it, but you never thought about ending things with me or walking away from us. I sure as hell never had those thoughts either, so if we aren't willing to let anything come between us….then nothing ever will."

He thought about what I was saying for a bit, and then sighed. "You're right, nothing can ever come between us, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to sit back and let someone try."

"She made a mistake, and she obviously tried to fix it by helping us with this. Let's just drop Em off with Charlie and then head over to see your mom. If things don't go well, we'll leave and not give her another thought for a while."

"Why do you keep giving her chance after chance?" he asked a slight smirk.

"Because she's your mom," I said respectfully. "However misguided and unjustified her actions have been, I believe deep down she did it all out of love for you. I think being a mom myself has taught me that it's all just a guessing game. I really don't know what I'm doing with Em, and I know it's just going to get harder the older she gets. What if I do something wrong with her? What if we make a mistake that she deems unforgivable? God knows my mom has made her share of crappy decisions while I was growing up, but I haven't cut her out of my life…. Look, she's your mom, so this is your decision and I'll respect whatever you decide….but I just think you should realistically consider what it would be like to never speak to her again."

"I've already done that. I said goodbye and made my peace while we were still on the island…. But perhaps you're right. I guess I never thought about the possibility of Em hating us one day." He took a deep breath. "I would hope she would forgive us or at least give us a chance to apologize properly….Of course, I doubt we'd ever do something like what my mom's done."

"No, we'll make some other kind of stupid mistake and not even realize what we're doing until it's too late. Although, I can imagine your protective side coming out when Em chooses a boyfriend that's not up to your standards of who you think is worthy of her."

"No one will ever be worthy of her," he said quickly.

"Exactly." I said with a smile.

….

Walking up to the Cullen house hand in hand with Edward was strangely cathartic. I wasn't walking up to Edward's house wondering what kind of mood he'd be in or worried that Esme may concoct some kind of issue about me being there and seeing her son, instead we were walking up to the house as a united force – confident and assured that we'd be leaving in the same manner. Esme couldn't keep us apart, nothing or no one ever could again, and I truly believed she finally understood that otherwise I'd never encourage Edward to give her another chance.

Edward knocked on the door as any visitor would, and waited for his mother to answer it.

She opened the door casually, and legitimately looked shocked and beyond grateful to see us there.

"Edward, Bella….come in, please," she said in a state of surprise.

Our hands stayed linked as we stepped inside, and then we stood in the foyer as if we were strangers waiting to be shown where to go. It wasn't Edward's home anymore, maybe it never was – at least not the home of the man Edward had become.

"Please, have a seat," Esme said courteously after ushering us into the formal living room. Edward and I sat on the stuffy loveseat and awkwardly accepted the refreshments that seemed to magically appear out of nowhere.

"How's Em?" Esme asked, trying to sound as casual as possible but failing miserably. She was obviously eager to hear anything we'd be willing to tell her about her granddaughter, but also didn't want to push and scare us away by asking too much too soon.

"She's good; learning new words every day and constantly surprising us by how much she knows," I told her. I had promised myself that I'd take a backseat in the conversation and just support Edward, but he hesitated in answering the question so I jumped in hoping to break the ice.

"She's at such a special age; her brain is like a sponge soaking up all the information the world has to offer," Esme said with a kind smile.

"Makes me a little self-conscious," I admitted. "I'm always worried she's going to pick up on something I do that I don't want her to."

She smiled again reassuringly. "You can only do your best and hope she takes the better qualities from you and become all that she can be."

"Ok, let's drop the friendly pretenses and cut to the chase," Edward jumped in. "How did you get Eric to come forward?" His guard was definitely up, and it was making him slightly agitated.

"You heard about that?" Esme said quietly, but then she went in a different direction by turning her attention back to me. "Before we get into anything else, I need to say this - Bella, I know I've apologized for the way I've treated you in the past….but I am truly, truly sorry. The last time I saw you I was…not in a good place and I treated you poorly. My behavior was inexcusable and I'd understand if you couldn't forgive me, but I hope that you can."

"Well, I do forgive you, but we're not here about me."

She nodded. "I know, you're here to ask about Eric." She looked past us reflectively, as if she was trying to recall her memory of the event. "I've been friends with Mrs. Newton and Mrs. Yorkie for a long time, and this is a small town so things don't tend to stay secret very long. When I heard about what Mike did to you, I went straight to his mother. She was immediately defensive and refused to speak any more on the subject, but Mrs. Yorkie is very honorable and believes in tough love. She admitted that Eric has had issues with drugs and had been caught selling before, so we put two and two together and confronted Eric. After a little pressure, Eric admitted it and agreed to take a plea bargain and testify against Mike."

"What kind of pressure?" I asked.

"The kind that involves scaring him shitless by hiring an amazing lawyer to lay out all the potential charges against him if he doesn't cooperate."

"Why?" Edward asked unexpectedly. "Why go to all that trouble to help Bella?"

"Because it was the right thing to do," Esme said slowly.

But Edward shook his head. "No, you did it to try to get back in my favor. Do you honestly think that one good thing can undo everything you've done to us in the past? All the manipulating and scheming to break us apart…."

"I was never trying to break you apart. I know that doesn't sound believable considering everything that happened, but honestly Edward, all I've ever wanted to do was protect you."

"And yet, all you've ever done is suffocate me," he said, taking her aback. Edward surprised me as well by not blowing up at her. He reined in his sour tone and spoke clearly and self-assured. "I'm not my father. I'm not going to spend all my time doing things I know are dangerous just for the thrill of it, but I'm not going to spend my life afraid either. His priority was his next adrenaline rush, but mine is my family – that's something I got from you. Dad was reckless, but even if he wasn't, you can't anticipate every danger in the world, and you definitely can't protect me from my own family. Bella is my family. Even if you don't trust her, you need to trust me and the choices I've made. I'm not a child anymore. I've lived more than you could ever imagine, and I've survived. We've survived together and we've grown together so irrevocably that separating us would only destroy everything we've become. I can't go back to the kid I used to be, and you trying to force me into it has only pushed me further and further away."

She wiped a tear from her cheek and let out a heavy smile full of emotions. "I've never heard you speak that way before." She nodded to herself wistfully. "You really have grown up, haven't you?"

It was as if she was sincerely astounded by Edward's demeanor and words, and I suppose that made sense. He had been extremely defiant, bitter, and hostilely defensive with his mother from the time he first saw her in Mexico, but in that moment he spoke to her like the man I knew him to be. He was calm and confident and demanded respect, which Esme had no choice but to give.

"Bella and I are a packaged deal, so if you can't accept that…"

"I can accept that, and I have. Bella is an amazing young woman and I'm very honored to have her as a daughter in law. It was just my natural pessimistic side coming out. I assumed whatever could go wrong would, and I treated her unfairly because of it. As much as I wanted to know her as the person you were choosing to spend your life with, I couldn't help but unjustifiably project my insecurities onto her. For that I'll be forever sorry." She locked eyes with me again and repeated her apology once more. "I'm so sorry."

I nodded my acceptance because I had already told her verbally, and I had a feeling she was going to continue to apologize to me until she was certain Edward and I were both fully past it.

Edward reiterated the fact that we wouldn't tolerate any type of negative behavior from her again, and then we left the house with the plans to tentatively move forward with our relationship with her. We would take things slowly and bring Em over for a casual visit later on in the week. Life was too short to live with anger and resentment, and we refused to allow it to be an issue in our lives anymore. Edward and I were going to be fine no matter what ended up happening with Esme, and that was what we chose to focus on.


	33. Every Way Possible

Chapter 33 – Every Way Possible

Progress with the case against Mike was slow going, but while we waited for a resolution, Edward and I got to celebrate Em's first Halloween…

"Why is she a vampire?" Esme asked me after Em made her grand unveiling to all our family and friends at Charlie's house.

I shrugged. "We took her to the Halloween store and this is what she wanted. Renee tried convincing her to be a princess, but she's a girl who knows what she wants…and I think she may be a little tired of dresses."

Esme and I giggled as we watched Edward put in a pair of plastic vampire teeth and pretended to bite Em's neck. She didn't even know what vampires were, she just liked the costume, but that didn't stop Edward from playing the part. The two of them were hilarious together, and watching them was still my favorite thing in the world.

…..

When Thanksgiving arrived, we all went to the Cullen house for a huge family dinner, and Esme actually completely surprised everyone by picking that event to introduce her new boyfriend.

"Um, this is Carlisle," she said, slightly uncomfortable. Apparently Carlisle was the hot shot lawyer she had hired to pressure Eric into testifying against Mike. He was actually rather attractive and seemed like a very nice man, and I couldn't help but think their budding romance had helped ease her attitude a bit. She hadn't been with anyone since Edward's father, and having someone else in her life probably helped her let go of Edward a little more and begin to focus on herself for the first time.

For a moment, when they first met, I could see that protective look from Edward as he sized up the new man in his mother's life. But all it took was me grabbing his hand for him to relax and shrug away the irrational feeling; Edward was not going to overreact and be possessive the way his mother was with him. For the rest of the afternoon, Edward was friendly and welcoming of Carlisle, just as the rest of us were.

We had a lot to be thankful for that year, so the holiday was even more meaningful than ever before. As we all sat around the table together for a huge turkey dinner, everyone got their individual turns to state what they were personally thankful for in their own lives. Each one of them added our return to the family as part of their speech.

"I'm thankful for Bella and Em," Edward stated during his turn. "And for the health and happiness of everyone in this room. Readjusting to life back in Forks these past few months has been trying at times, but I'm thankful to be given the opportunity to do so. If we were never rescued, Em would never have had a chance to get to know any of you, and never had the opportunity to find the level of love I've been blessed to have with Bella_…. Of course, in about thirteen years I may change my mind about that and decide to move to another deserted location to avoid all potential male suitors until Em is thirty_."

Everyone laughed, but I just smirked and shook my head. I was the only one there who knew how serious he actually was.

…..

Christmas was another big deal for our extended family. We spent the morning being way more excited than Em by all her Santa gifts…. She liked the wrapping paper bows and boxes more than the actual presents. When Edward's cousins came over for Christmas brunch, Emmett and Jasper decided it was a good idea to play with all of Em's new things, just to make sure they were "safe".

"Hey, these sorts of things get recalled all the time," Emmett said defensively. "They always wait until some poor kid gets hurt before realizing how unsafe they are, and I'll be damned if Em is one of those kids."

"O-kay," I said with a laugh as Rose rolled her eyes at him.

…..

New Year's Eve brought the realization that despite our age, Edward and I were parents first and foremost and when it came down to it, we just couldn't stay awake until midnight to celebrate. Em woke up at the crack of dawn every morning, and our rest was more important to us than ringing in the New Year. So we made love for the last time of that year and then held each other all night, just as we did every night, and woke up the following year just as we always would for the rest of our lives – wrapped up in each other's arms, together and unbreakable.

…..

Valentine's Day was sweet when Edward bought Em a giant heart balloon with a pink teddy bear, and then took me out for a date in the city. He was at his romantic best by making reservations and having a bunch of little loving surprises preplanned along the way.

"I can't promise our lives will always be perfect, but I will always love you perfectly," he told me over dinner.

God, I loved him. Not just for his romantic side, but for everything about him. Every day was Valentine's Day for us, just as every day was Thanksgiving because every day we were extremely thankful for each other and made a point to show our love in a big way.

…..

By Easter Em had regrown her love for all things girly, and she picked out the most frilly dress I had ever seen.

"We have to get the bonnet and tights with the lace butt," Renee had argued when we were at the store. I scowled and then looked over to my mother's new shopping buddy for help. Of course, Alice agreed with my mother and even added to the outfit by insisting we get the lace gloves and white patent leather Mary Janes.

"No Easter outfit is complete without the perfect pair of shoes," Alice told me.

Em loved her dress. She danced around and kept grabbing the bottom hem and pulling it up so she could look at it better. Of course, that move just made Edward nervous.

"Baby, always keep your dress _down_," he told her. "You never want to show off what you have under there."

"Have underwear?" Em asked excitedly while lifting up her dress again and pulling down her tights to show Edward her 'underwear', which was technically a diaper cover.

"No, baby, that's not what I said," he said while giving me that _'oh shit'_ look. Em was all too willing to show her underwear to anyone, and it freaked Edward out.

"She's eighteen months old," I told Edward. "If she's still doing that at sixteen we can be concerned."

When it was time to hunt for eggs, Em was the only kid there so basically the four dozen eggs that were hidden throughout the yard were all waiting for her. Of course, after she found the first one she was so excited that she didn't care about finding anymore.

"Ok, go for it," I said to Emmett and Jasper while handing them empty baskets.

"Really?" Emmett asked excitedly.

"We certainly don't want a bunch of rotting eggs left in the yard," Charlie grumbled.

"Whoever finds the most wins," Emmett said to Jasper.

"Wins what?" Jasper asked.

"Wins that giant chocolate bunny that Renee bought," Edward said while grabbing a basket for himself.

"Hey, you're playing too? No fair, you probably saw where the bunny hid them all," Emmett whined.

"I only 'saw' a couple of them before Charlie took over on the hiding – I mean 'observing'….and I really want that chocolate bunny."

"Fine, you're on," Emmett said determinedly.

"Man, I'm going to kick both of your asses, and I don't even like chocolate," Jasper said smugly.

"If you don't like chocolate we can compete for something else," Edward offered.

"No way, I want that bunny," Emmett protested.

"It's fine. Alice loves chocolate so I'm going to win it for her."

"On three," I told them. "One…" The guys got into a ready position as if they were about to begin a serious race. "Two…" Even the expressions on their faces were set in hard determination. "Three…" And they were off – charging into the yard like ravenous monsters hunting their prey.

"They are a bunch of morons," Rose said with a smile.

"Yeah, but we love them anyway," I replied.

"And I'll love Jasper even more when he wins me that bunny," Alice said with a serious tone. "In fact, I'm going to help him." She ran out and began grabbing eggs and slipping them into Jasper's basket.

"Hey, that's cheating!" Rose called before deciding to run out and help Emmett.

"Aw, isn't that cute, all the kids are hunting for eggs," Renee said with a giggle.

"They're teaming up. There's no way Edward can win that way."

"I guess you better go help him," Renee said to me with a nudge.

"I never liked hunting for eggs," I grumbled before huffing and joining the others in the yard.

It was actually a lot of fun pretending to be a kid again, even if it was only for a few minutes, but the boys got way more into it then the girls did. They actually began wrestling around over the last remaining eggs. It was rather ridiculous.

"I have thirteen," Jasper said.

"I have seventeen!" Emmett cheered.

"I have seventeen as well," Edward informed them.

"Shit!" Emmett shouted.

"Dude, Em is right over there, watch the language idiot," Edward chided him.

"Sorry…. So how are we going to break the tie?" Emmett asked.

"Well….since we ended up playing as teams, I'd say we won," Edward said arrogantly.

"What? How do you figure that?" Emmett asked him.

"Em, come here baby!" Edward called to our daughter who was still clutching onto her one egg. "Technically the Cullen team has eighteen, so we win."

"Aw man," Emmett pouted.

"It's ok, don't cry about it," Edward said with a sigh. "Lucky for you I'm trying to raise a child and teach her the right things, so I'm willing to share." He went into the house and brought out the giant bunny, which he then divided up and gave everyone a chunk. Even Charlie went off his '_Sue enforced diet'_ to have a piece.

…

All of our holiday celebrations were events that Edward and I never thought we'd get to experience again when we were on the island, and in May we attended yet another of those events which couldn't have happened if we weren't in Forks.

It was an event which had been so important to me before, one that I had dreamed of since adolescence – prom.

I was actually surprised when Edward asked me to go. I wasn't that girl anymore who obsessed about such things and I didn't even really want to go at all, but he insisted saying it was an important part of high school and he didn't want me missing it.

So we got all dressed up, and Edward seriously took my breath away when I saw him in his tux. Our parents snapped a bunch of pictures and our moms cried as Edward presented me with a corsage. It was everything I had always dreamed it would be, and so much more. I never even knew that level of happiness existed when I used to imagine prom.

"Let's dance," Edward said to me with his irresistible crooked smile.

"I thought you didn't dance," I said with a wide grin.

"I didn't…until recently."

"What happened recently?" I asked as he led me to the dance floor.

He made my breath catch as he twirled me around before bringing me in close. "I may have asked my mom for a few lessons. But don't make a big deal about it because I'm embarrassed enough as it is."

I giggled. "You shouldn't be embarrassed, that's so sweet. Oh…" I said while he dipped me.

"Well, I'm only willing to suffer through dance lessons with my mom for your sake."

"And I'm definitely appreciative," I said with another giggle.

The Royal Prom Court was announced, and I was more than stunned to learn that I was amongst them as a Prom Princess. Jessica, of course, ended up winning Prom Queen.

"Don't be mad, but I voted for Jessica," Edward admitted after the crowning.

I laughed. "How dare you."

He shrugged. "I'm not trying to be mean, but being Prom Queen will probably always be the highlight of that girl's life."

I hugged him tightly and rested my head against his chest. "And you and Em are mine."

He held me back and kissed my hair. "Exactly."

.

As happy as we were, the month of May also brought our first major low since putting all our negativity behind us, which consisted of me having to testify against Mike in court. It wouldn't have been so bad except his defense attorney was quite harsh and manipulative, and left me questioning certain things. Carlisle assured me that I did a good job, but I wasn't so confident.

…..

When June rolled around, I put the court case behind me and returned to being blissfully happy; in fact, June turned out to be the best month yet.

On the sixth we were invited to walk in the graduation ceremony with our class. Technically we wouldn't be getting our diplomas until we completed our necessary credits, but the school officials thought we deserved to celebrate with the rest of our friends as we would have if we were never stranded. We did it mostly for our parents, who had also dreamed of that day since we were kids, and seeing their proud faces as our names were called was beyond priceless.

Of course our family took full advantage of the occasion and threw another big party, and it was at that party that we got the best graduation gift imaginable - Carlisle informed us that Mike had been convicted and sentenced to five years of jail, plus he'd have to register as a sex offender. I was happy about him going to jail, but the registered sex offender thing was even better. He'd never be allowed to work at a school again, and people would always know what he did.

And a couple weeks later, things got even better when Edward finally turned eighteen….

"Happy birthday," I said softly as I woke him up bright and early with kisses all over his face.

"Mmmm, it's definitely a happy day when it starts like this," he replied by running his hand under my t-shirt to grope my bra-less breasts.

"For you and me both," I moaned full of pleasure from his touch. I'd never fully admit it to him, but I loved the feeling of his hands on my boobs just as much as he did. "And just think, now it's not against the law anymore," I teased.

"Hey, it was never against the law; seventeen is past the age of consent," he argued playfully.

"I know, but it's still nice that you're officially an adult now…. I only wish I could have gotten you more for your birthday," I said while handing him my gift.

"You didn't have to get me anything…well, anything other than this," he said while rubbing his hand back up my chest.

I rolled my eyes. "Just open it."

I never got a job and I didn't have a savings the way he did from before, so I didn't really have any money for a gift like I would have wanted to get him; instead I had spent the last several weeks making secret trips to the beach to collect new shells. - He had loved his island made chess board and unfortunately we couldn't bring it with us, so I decided to make him a new one.

"Are you kidding me? How'd you get this?" he asked, thinking it was the same one I made him before.

"It's a new one. I made the board from the leaves of the palm tree outside the Forks Golf Course, and the shell pawns are from the local beach."

"This is awesome, thank you," he said sincerely.

"Hopefully next year I'll actually be able to _buy_ you something."

"Well, what's mine is yours, and that includes money, so…."

"So…?" I asked, unsure why he paused.

"So I may have bought myself a gift from you."

"Huh?"

"Get dressed," he said with a grin before rolling out of bed.

When I was ready and finished getting Em ready as well, the three of us went down the stairs and were surprised to see Esme and Carlisle there.

"Happy birthday," she said with a smile.

"Thanks mom," he replied before going over to hug her. She cradled his face in her hands for a moment, and then took a deep breath before handing him a manila envelope. "Thanks," he said before taking it from her. Strangely, he didn't look inside; it was as if he already knew what it was. He grabbed my hand again, and began leading me towards the front door.

"Wait, I have a gift for you too," Esme called after him.

"Oh... sorry," Edward said before pulling me back towards her. She smiled and then handed him a small silver key with a bow on it.

"Mom," Edward chided her, already knowing what the key meant as well.

"Oh, hush now - It's your eighteenth birthday and you just graduated high school, besides its from Carlisle too."

He smiled at her. "Thanks," he said again before thanking Carlisle as well.

"Well, go look at it," she encouraged.

Edward towed me outside, and in the driveway was a shiny new Volvo with a giant bow on the top.

"It has great safety ratings, perfect for your family," Esme explained from behind us.

It was an absolutely beautiful car, and Edward was actually super excited about it. He had his license for a few months but hated driving my truck so much that I still usually did most of the driving; he had plans to buy a cheap car soon, but Esme's gift was so much better.

After admiring the car for a bit, Edward asked Esme to babysit Em while he and I went for a drive, but instead of going on a random test drive, he seemed to have a destination in mind.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"I told you, I bought myself a gift from you and we're going to get it."

"Well, what is it?"

"It's a surprise," he said with a smirk.

"How is it a gift from me if I don't even know what it is?"

"Just…go with it," he said stubbornly.

We drove to Port Angeles and pulled into the parking lot of that Italian restaurant he took me to for my birthday.

I smiled. "I love this place, but this is your birthday, not mine."

"We are not going to the restaurant," he said before helping me out of the car and leading me down a path away from the restaurant.

"Oh, I see…." I said with a grin, remembering our little love session on the obscure beach there. But when we walked in a different direction than that area as well, I seriously became confused.

"What's going on?"

But of course her didn't answer me; he just kept walking and pulling me along with him. After another minute of walking, we arrived at a marina where a bunch of big sailboats and yachts were tied to the docks.

"They're so beautiful," I said while looking at the boats. I always did love boats; Charlie used to always walk me by docks like that one and we'd dream about someday owning one. It was one of my favorite things to do with my dad as a kid.

"Let's go get a closer look," Edward said before opening the gate to the dock.

"It says private property," I told him.

"It's not locked," he said dismissively.

I was sort of paranoid about trespassing, but after walking a past a few boats I calmed down and just enjoyed it.

"Hey look at that one!" I said while pointing to a particular boat. It wasn't a sailboat or a ritzy yacht, but it was extremely charming and had a strangely beautiful white bird painted on the back. "It's a swan – how funny."

"Do you like it?" Edward asked me.

But before I could respond, a man came out from the cabin of the boat, scaring me shitless. I couldn't help but wonder what type of punishment we'd get for trespassing.

"Hello, you must be the Cullens?" the man asked. "You look so much like your father," he said suddenly, completely flabbergasting me.

"Uh, thanks" Edward said with a polite smile. He pulled out that manila envelope from inside his jacket, and then opened it and handed the man a white piece of paper.

"Perfect," the man said after examining it. He held out his hand, and Edward shook it.

"Thank you," Edward said to him.

"I'm glad to do it. Edward Senior was a good friend of mine and I'm happy I was able to help you with this. Let me know if there is anything else I could do for you."

Edward nodded and then the man gave me a smile before walking past us and leaving.

"What just happened?" I asked baffled.

"That was an old friend of my dad's. My mom gave me his number a couple months ago and we were able to come up with a deal."

"A deal?"

He raised his brows at me excitedly. "Surprise! What do you think?"

"I'm not sure what I'm thinking… So, you…bought this?" I asked, still unsure.

"Yeah, it's 'The Swan'," he said with a chuckle. "I had an artist come out a few days ago and paint that on there," he pointed at the bird painting on the back. When I didn't respond because I was still in utter shock, he got nervous. "If you don't like it I'm sure I can get him to take it back. I know I should have talked to you about this first, I just really wanted it to be a surprise."

I actually didn't know how to think or feel about the entire thing. On one hand, it was amazing and absolutely incredible, but at the same time he knew I was worried about spending too much money and not having enough for us to get a place of our own. I could only imagine how much a boat like that cost.

"I got a really good deal on it," he said quickly, as if he could read my mind. "The guy just wanted to get rid of it and he was doing me a favor because of my dad. Plus, since today is my eighteenth birthday I just got my inheritance. We're good financially for a while, trust me."

"But…."

"Let's just go look inside," he interrupted me.

I tentatively followed him in, not wanting to completely fall in love with it because I still wasn't exactly sure about anything. Edward said he just inherited more money, but enough for a boat and an apartment while we go to school? The entire thing made me nervous. But once inside, I realized there was so much more to the boat then it appeared.

It was a houseboat.

There was a full kitchen, bathroom, living room, and even two bedrooms. The rooms were small, but more than enough for us. "Wait, you want us to live here?" I asked.

He shrugged with a nod. "At least for a little while. You know, until we decide to have more kids or find another reason to move. We can stay anchored to this marina, or go to a different one depending on where we end up going to school and working. We don't have to pay rent because the entire thing is paid off, we just have a small docking fee which is nothing compared to the cost of apartments. Plus, we were planning to go on that road trip but we've been too busy, so I thought it would be cool if we spent the summer on an ocean trip. _Look, there's even maps and electronic navigation!_" he said excitedly.

"So…." Suddenly a huge smile broke free and spread across my face. "This is real? This is really going to be our home for while?"

He smiled back at me. "Only if you want this too. We're in no means stuck, we can return it."

"I think I do want it….I think I want it very much," I said, having a hard time containing my enthusiasm.

"Ok, let's take this baby for a spin," he said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I just need to go untie it."

He disappeared out of the cabin and the boat swayed as he got off to untie it, then it swayed again when he got back on. I went up the stairs to where the steering wheel was, and wrapped my arms around him from behind as he drove us out of the marina.

"We're not going far, right?" I asked, suddenly feeling some separation anxiety from not having Em with us. If she was there and we got lost I would be ok, but without her I was anxious.

"No, we're not going far," he assured me.

We stayed in sight of land and followed the shore line for a ways before he stopped and dropped the anchor.

"This is so beautiful," I said as he surprised me yet again by bringing out food so we could have a picnic on the boat dock.

"I thought you'd like it."

"Yeah, but this is_ your_ birthday," I said again. "And I still don't see how this could possibly be 'from me'."

"Oh, well this isn't," he said casually.

I looked at him curiously realizing he had something else up his sleeve.

He dug into his pocket, and unexpectedly pulled out a small black velvet box. "The gift you're going to give me is….saying you'll marry me."

My breath caught, and then tears flooded my eyes. I knew we'd get legally married eventually, but having him propose in that way, _on that day_, was just so perfect that I couldn't contain myself.

"I'm already the happiest man in the world, but the only thing that would make me even happier is if we make it official." He pulled me up to a standing position, and then he kneeled down in front of me. "Isabella Swan, will you marry me?"

I nodded due to my momentary loss of words, and then I found my voice again and said – "Yes, yes of course I'll marry you."

He placed the gorgeous sparkling diamond ring on my left hand finger behind the twine pearl ring he had made for me on the island. I had sworn to him and to myself that I'd never move that ring from that finger, so I was so happy that the two fit so perfectly together. It was even more special because it symbolized our past and our future, and I knew I'd wear both of them like that for the rest of my life.

…..

Edward and I considered getting married at the courthouse because we didn't care about a big wedding, we just wanted to be husband and wife, but Renee laid on a dramatic guilt trip…

"But we all want to celebrate with you. We thought you guys were dead…._dead_….and I lost the hope of ever seeing my baby walk down the aisle. And think about Charlie. This is his only chance to give the bride away. Every father of a girl should get that chance."

Renee wasn't the only one upset by the idea; Alice pouted, and although Esme wouldn't say anything, I could tell she was disappointed as well. So, we decided for them, that we'd have an actual wedding. I left Renee, Esme, Rose and Alice in charge of making all the arrangements, and we set the date for the end of summer after we returned from our family trip on the ocean.

"Now, you are coming back, right?" Charlie asked anxiously as we were saying goodbye.

"Yes dad, we're coming back."

"It's just…the last time I watched you get on a boat you didn't come back for two years."

"We'll be fine," I promised.

We all said our goodbyes, and then we were off. Edward had mapped out our route and had alerted all the right people of our plans so they'd know where to look if something went wrong.

Getting used to being in the confined space of the boat cabin was so easy that I wondered how Edward would ever convince me to move away from it. It was about the same size as our little island cottage, so the three of us immediately felt at home – although, it was nice having a kitchen and a refrigerator full of stuff. The boat was completely stocked with everything we needed food-wise, as well as all of Em's essentials like diapers and powdered milk. It was all perfect.

The first week we spent completely at sea; nothing but the open-ocean and quality family time. And then we went in towards land and found a harbor to pull into so we could sightsee a bit. We figured that despite not really being married yet, the trip was basically our honeymoon, and I couldn't imagine a more perfect way to spend it.

"Seeing Mexico this way is so different," I mused as we browsed the street venders.

"You mean, seeing Mexico on vacation is better than being locked up inside the consulate?" Edward joked.

"Yeah, just a little."

We bought some souvenirs, had a delicious authentic Mexican meal, and then went back to our boat home.

"Where are we going next?" I asked excitedly as we headed back out to sea.

"Oh, we're so close, so I figured we'd do a drive by."

"Seriously?" I shouted, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "How do you know where to go, I thought it wasn't on any commercial maps?"

"I may have connected to a few people here with inside knowledge."

"What, who?"

"Let's just say Irina from the consulate felt really bad about the way we were treated there."

I was so excited that I was actually giddy; I could hardly sit still as we made the trip out to our island. When we finally got there and we could see the land that we had called home for so long, I lost it and began crying. I wanted to go onto shore so badly, I wanted to go inside our cottage and take pictures so we'd never forget _- not that we ever could_ - but I knew it wasn't possible.

"I wish we brought some binoculars, I can't see the cottage….Do you think the Kachiri Natives took it down?" I asked worriedly. It would have been heartbreaking to know our first home together was no longer there.

"Why don't we get in the dingy and go ashore to see," Edward said unexpectedly.

"You know we're not allowed to, we could get arrested again," I said_, though I was tempted to risk it._ "We have to be responsible for Em."

"Oh, come on," he urged me. "The Kachiri only come once every ten years, right? There's no one around."

I huffed. As much as I wanted to, _as much as I ached to_, we couldn't risk it.

"Alright, you've totally ruined the surprise," Edward said with a laugh.

"What surprise?"

He grabbed a piece of paper that was taped under the counter, which was more than a little odd. I guess he really didn't want me to find it…

"We have permission to go on land," he said, knocking the air right out of my lungs.

"What, how?"

He showed me the paper which granted us permission. It basically said that since Em was conceived and born on the sacred land, the Kachiri had made her an honorary and revered member of the tribe, thus allowing her along with us, her parents, on the land whenever we wanted.

"This is… I have no words for what this is. I can't believe you got them to do this."

"I didn't get them to do anything. The letter was sent to my mom's house and she gave it to me. This is how I first got the idea to buy the boat."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise." - _Edward and his crazy astonishing surprises._ "Good surprise?" he asked.

"The best."

We anchored the boat once more, and then got in our little motor powered dingy so we could get to land. The moment we got on the beach, I had to fight the urge to fall to my knees and kiss the sand…._hell, who was I kidding, the urge was too strong to fight_. I let myself fall, and then I rolled in the sand like a moron. Edward laughed at me, but Em was just concerned.

"Momma fall down?"

"No baby, I'm playing. Come roll with me," I told her. Edward put her down and they joined me in the sand.

Em didn't seem like she really remembered the island, which made me sad, but then suddenly she pointed behind us and said "Daddy, home!" and she ran towards the cottage which we didn't even realize was there. We had known the island like our back yard, but the beaches did lookalike and we were just so grateful to be there that we didn't notice we were on the exact right beach.

Edward and I followed Em to the cottage, and anxiously went inside. It was very dirty and various insects had claimed the place as their own, but it was still standing, just as strongly and proudly as ever. It had survived all the winter storms that it faced without us, just as we survived the social storms without it. But no matter where we went in life, that would always be our home.

Em patted her old island-made crib and asked Edward to put her inside. He did a quick check for insects before lifting her over the rail.

"This!" Em shouted excitedly. "Em's bed!"

"Yeah baby, that's your bed," I said with tears streaming down my face.

And then I turned to Edward. "Can we stay here for a while? Like a few days at least?"

He smiled and then nodded. "We need to do a sweep to make sure there's nothing poisonous first."

"Ok," I said with a grin. We spent the next couple hours cleaning the cottage; while Edward de-bugged it, I swept and then hung the old blankets I had woven outside and beat them with a stick to try to get all the dust out. I suppose we could have gone to our boat and got real blankets and pillows to sleep with, but we didn't want to. For the time we were there, we just wanted it to be like it was before we left…. Well everything except the woven diapers; I certainly didn't want Em to get chaffed for nostalgia purposes.

"Look what I found," Edward said amazed as he held up the pieces of his father's Swiss Army knife.

"We really are home," I replied.

It was a hot summer day on the island, but just when I was about to remove my shirt the way I used to, Edward stopped me. "I wouldn't do that just yet," he said strangely.

"Why?"

"We have visitors," he said while pointing out to the incoming rafts full of people.

For a moment I thought he had surprised me again and invited our family for some odd reason, which would have really upset me - the island was _our_ place, and I didn't want to share it with the outside world. But as the rafts got closer, I realized they were all strangers…. Strangers dressed in native coverings.

"The Kachiri," I said. "We are allowed to be here, right?" I asked nervously.

Edward chuckled. "Relax, I knew they were coming. They just want to welcome us."

The tribal leaders came off the rafts first, and greeted us with a bow of respect and then shook Edward's hand.

The man who had the largest headdress on said something in his native language that we didn't understand, and then a different man stepped forward to translate. "Welcome," he said.

"Thank you," Edward and I replied at the same time.

The presumed tribal leader continued, as did the translator. "We would like to solidify you as members of our tribe with a naming ceremony. When you are given a Kachiri name, you will be official."

Edward and I smiled and agreed graciously, and then we were given a gift that we weren't expecting, one that was also necessary to become members…. A traditional Kachiri wedding.

"Marriage is sacred for us, and to make the child complete, we believe her parents should be married. As members of this tribe, that is what is expected of you."

Edward and I couldn't be happier. It wouldn't be a legal union with documents making our marriage official, but it was so special and we were beyond grateful.

We were separated into different areas of the beach, and each surrounded by the natives so we couldn't see one another. All the women were around me and helped me dress into traditional wedding garb, and Edward was surrounded by the men doing the same. Even Em was changed into one of their traditional children's dress.

When we were ready, everyone gathered on the sand and began chanting and singing as Edward and I walked towards each other. He had the biggest smile that I had ever seen on his face, and I must have had the same because I could actually feel myself glowing.

The tribal leader preformed the ceremony in his language, but the translator stayed quiet, allowing us to get lost in the moment. It didn't matter that we didn't understand what was being said, all we cared about was the fact that we were celebrating our love and finally getting married.

When everyone started cheering signaling the end of the ceremony, Edward and I did what felt natural to us, and kissed.

I had considered Edward to be my husband since before we left the island, but being married in the eyes of the tribe was an amazing feeling. Legal or not, I suddenly had spiritual feeling overcome me and believed God now recognized our union. I was never particularly religious, but there was no denying the divine, otherworldly connection we were feeling in that moment.

"We're married!" I said to Edward emotionally.

"Yes, we are," he replied, just as emotional. He wrapped me in his arms and kissed me more tenderly than ever before. "I love you so much, my little Graceful Bird."

During the wedding ceremony, we were given our tribal names. I couldn't pronounce any of them, but we were told that mine meant 'Graceful Bird' which I suppose was fitting since my last name was Swan. Edward's name meant 'Master of the Reef', which was perfect for him, and Em's meant 'Little Star', which was also meaningful because of her affinity for starfish.

It was a perfect magical day, and after a large traditional meal of fresh fish and island fruit, the Kachiri left the island with a promise to not bother us again since it was our 'honeymoon'.

For the next two weeks, we rediscovered our love for the island and found our old rhythm again; all three of us spent our days topless, we built fires, hiked, and swam together in the ocean and the lagoon. Edward fished every day, and I forgot my short-lived aversion to cleaning the fish. It was complete heaven.

But as much as we wanted to stay there forever, Em deserved a chance at a normal life….we all did, so we said goodbye.

"Is there anything you want to take with us?" Edward asked as we walked through the cottage one last time.

I took a deep breath and then shook my head no. "Everything here belongs here….and when we return next summer for a visit, it'll all be here waiting."

Edward smiled at me. "I love you."

"I love you too."

….

We spent another week at sea before finally arriving back at the marina in Port Angeles, and as homesick that I already was for the island, a part of me was glad to be back. We weren't the people we were _before_ the island….but we weren't really the people we were _on_ the island anymore either. We were something else, something we were still discovering, and we were more than eager to continue to discover it.

Our family welcomed us back with open arms and open ears. They wanted to know everything that happened while we were gone, and we wanted to tell them. That was what you do when you're part of a family – you talk and fill each other in on everything they missed when apart. They were beyond thrilled for us when we spoke of our native nuptials, but they were also grateful that we still wanted to go forward with the wedding they planned as well.

Edward and I were husband and wife, no one could tell us otherwise, but we still needed to make it legal so we might as well do it with our family there for support.

And the wedding was beautiful. It was held in the yard at the Cullen house, and everyone we had ever known was there. My dress was gorgeous. For never seeing it before, it fit like a glove and was the perfect mix of little girl fantasy and womanly elegance. I couldn't have picked out a more perfect dress for myself; Alice was truly amazing in that department. Em was dressed up in a white flower girl dress with a lavender sash, and Edward looked even more handsome in his classic tux then he did at prom.

Everything about the day was perfect, and even though it wasn't as meaningful as our first wedding on the island, it was special because of the fact that our family got to share in our love and we were finally married in every way possible. Legally, spiritually, emotionally, I belonged to Edward, and he belonged to me.

We had no idea what our next step in life would be or where the road…or ocean would take us. The only thing that was sure_, the only fact we could ever truly count on_, was that the future would not find us separated.

* * *

*****A/N: I hope most of your questions have been answered and that I did these characters justice with a complete journey. I will be posting an Epilogue soon, which will take place a few years later to show how their lives have progressed. Thank you so much for all the support with this story, I doubt I'll ever have another with as many reviews and that's really special. 3 **


	34. EPI

EPILOGUE

"Daddy, daddy, it's happening!" Her little eyes were glowing so brightly with excitement that it wasn't even necessary to grab the flashlights in order to see. "Hurry!" she shouted when Edward didn't get up fast enough.

"Ok, ok," he said with a light chuckle as he rolled out of our bed. He paused, only to kiss me tenderly. "Are you coming?"

I smiled. "Wouldn't miss it."

I checked on Masen, still sleeping peacefully in his crib, and then followed them out to the beach. The moon was bright that summer evening, and the ocean waves rolled in and out in a calming steady cadence as if it was calling to the freshly hatched sea turtles, lulling them towards it.

"Do you think they'll all make it?" she asked worriedly as the first one began its monumental trek to the sea.

"Technically their chances are…"

I put my hand on Edward's shoulder to shut him up. "We can't be sure what happens to them once they make it to the water, but we're going to make sure they all make it past the beach," I assured her.

"This seriously goes against nature's law," Edward mumbled. "If the guys at work knew what we were doing…"

"Oh hush," I chided him playfully. "What was it you told me before, these few extra turtles aren't going to throw off the ocean's ecosystem."

"Yeah, I said that the first time we did this…but _every_ time, _every_ summer, is a different story."

"This is her first time, give her a break."

"She saw it last year…. and the year before," he argued as we watched our daughter dancing around turtles protectively.

"But this is the first time she actually understands it," I pointed out. "Remember how excited Em was the first time she really got to participate in this?"

"Yeah," he said with a crooked smile. "She refused to go to bed until every last one of them was in the water out of sight….but then she stopped caring."

"Oh, she still cares, she's just really tired from how busy we've been, and she knows there will be more turtles later."

He shook his head in disagreement. "It's already happening. Just wait, a couple more years and she's going to want to stop coming altogether; she's going beg us to let her stay home in the summers so she can hang out with her friends and hate us if we say no."

"We'll deal with that when the time comes," I said with a sigh. I was trying to think of ways to convince him he was wrong, but Em was a social butterfly and I was secretly worried that he was more than a little right. If Em didn't want to go to the island anymore, it would be heartbreaking for both of us.

"Dad!" Anthony shouted from a few yards down the beach. Edward and I both ran to our oldest son to see what was wrong. "A snake just chased a turtle into this hallowed log. I have its tail so it can't go any further, but I'm not sure what type of snake it is so I don't want to pull it out."

"Ok," Edward said before taking the snake from Anthony. "Back up," he instructed us.

"Edward, be careful," I said concerned.

"What is it?" Little Carlie asked curiously. I grabbed her by her waist and pulled her back so she wouldn't get in the way.

Slowly, Edward pulled the snake out of the log, and then smiled as he examined it. "Oh, it's anEpicrates Cenchria Maurus; I didn't even know these were on the island."

"Really?" Anthony asked excitedly.

"Uh, English please?" I asked them.

"It's a Rainbow Boa, mom," Anthony told me enthusiastically. "Usually found in the Colombian rain forest."

"Cool, is it poisonous?" I asked.

"Nope," Edward assured me.

"Can I hold it?" Carlie asked eagerly.

"Sure," Edward said before handing it to her. "It may still bite so hold it behind its head."

Carlie's face lit up as she held the slithering creature in her hands. - Out of our four kids, she was definitely the biggest animal lover.

"Ok, let it go now so it can go back to its home," Anthony insisted.

"I don't want it to eat the turtles," Carlie protested.

"Fine, give it to me," Anthony said with a huff before taking the snake inland into the trees.

Carlie nearly cheered. "Now we can make sure the rest of the turtles are safe too."

Edward and I wrapped our arms around each other and watched our two middle kids continue their mission to save the sea turtles, but I couldn't help but think of Em. Time was racing forward and I wondered how many family summers on the island we had left together.

Em had turned eleven that year, and even though I was in denial, I definitely noticed the way her face dropped when we were first making preparations to come to the island that summer. She never actually said she didn't want to come, but she wasn't thrilled about it either.

Thankfully, our other children were still more than eager to spend as much time on the island as possible.

Anthony was eight, and he was born almost nine months to the day after our native wedding. The Kachiri were thrilled to hear of his birth because even though he was born in an American hospital, they were certain he was conceived on the island, which Edward and I had to agree with. I was on birth control at the time, but the sacred island was known by the natives to have mystical powers that included fertility; it was the only explanation that I could come up with for his existence.

Edward and I had planned to wait to have more kids until after college, but as we've learned on our journey along the way, life doesn't always follow plans, and somehow everything seemed to work out for the better. And having Anthony at that time was definitely a blessing in disguise….

**Eight and a half Years Prior** – _A month after the wedding_.

"It doesn't make sense for you to go to the JC with me when you made it into the UC," I argued. We had both completed our high school equivalency and received our GED, but after taking the SATs, Edward had scored so high that he was basically accepted wherever he applied and I didn't want him holding himself back just to go to school with me.

"I can get all my basic courses done at the JC just as easily as I can at the UC," he insisted. "I already told you, wherever you go…"

"Yeah, _you'll go too_, I remember, but this is different."

"No, it's not," he said stubbornly.

"Ok, how long are we going to stay together in that way? Are you going to go into the same career as me so we can work together as well?" I pointed out. "You could be anything, and you're just going to throw it away for no reason. We need to support our family, and you're passing up on a chance to be able to get a well-paying job just to stay with me all day every day. We're married now, we'll still be together no matter what so it won't be any different than every other couple who goes to separate jobs during the day. Everything will be fine."

He didn't have a proper argument for that, but he huffed anyway and refused to budge. I wished we could spend all our time together just as much as he did, but it wasn't about us, we needed to build our future for our family and he knew it… _it just may take a little more time for him to accept_.

But a couple weeks later the morning sickness set in.

"Could be the flu," Edward said quickly. "We're not stuck on an island away from civilization, so it could definitely be the flu."

I shook my head slowly. "I'm late."

"But you're on birth control."

I shrugged. "Didn't the Kachiri say something about how the island has fertility powers or something?"

"Yeah, but that's just ancient mythology. It's no different than the Greeks believing in Zeus and whatnot."

"Well, we don't have to sit and wonder about it, I can go buy a test and we'll know one way or the other."

We bought the test and Edward was so anxious that we didn't even wait until the next morning like the box recommended. It didn't even take three minutes for the bright pink double lines to show up in the little window.

"Holy crap," Edward said to himself….and then he got excited. "We're going to have another baby!"

But for once I was the more sensible one. "We were supposed to wait… Going to college is going to be hard enough for me, and what about Em?"

"What about Em? She's going to be ecstatic to be a big sister."

"Yeah, but these next few years are going to be so busy, and now we're going to have to divide our time with her even more."

"Bella," he said softly while holding me at arm's length so he could look me in the eye. "We'll figure it out…We always do."

His conviction calmed my nerves, just like it always did, and then I took a deep breath and allowed myself to be just as happy as he was. Of course I was thrilled to have another baby, I wanted a bunch of kids, it was just the timing that I was worried about. But of course he was right, we would figure it out, that I could be sure of.

But as the days past, my mind stayed busy on the baby and I realized something – "I don't think I want to go to school," I told Edward one evening.

He was definitely surprised, and frankly, so was I. I was the one who had pushed us to go back to school in the first place, and it was still something I wanted to do, but being pregnant forced me to think of a new path for me…well, for all of us.

"People are pregnant in college all the time," Edward told me. "It's not the same thing as being pregnant in high school."

"No, I know, that's not it…I just…don't want to. Our moms aren't going to be close enough to watch Em and the baby during the day anymore, and I don't want to leave them with a sitter….I don't want to leave them at all."

He stared at me for a moment, as if he was trying to really understand what it was I was saying, and then he nodded. "Ok…whatever you want to do."

But I didn't want to stop my education altogether, so after some more thought and discussion, I decided it would be best to enroll in an online college, that way I could still be home and get my credits at the same time. The arrangement also helped my argument with Edward about him going to a UC; with me being home, he'd have no reason not to go.

We moved our houseboat to a marina in Seattle and Edward enrolled in the university, majoring in science with a special focus on bio chemistry and animal sciences. Marine Biology as a career was hard to break into since there were few jobs for such a degree, but with his background and intelligence there were already organizations lining up to employ him after he graduated.

Edward took on a full load at school, hoping to get through it as quickly as possible, and luckily we had enough money from his inheritance that neither of us needed to work. His school was paid for by a college fund that Esme had set up when he was a child, so basically all we had to worry about was our family and getting through our courses.

Our son was born several months later, and we named him Edward Anthony Cullen the Third, and called him by his middle name 'Anthony'. He was just as beautiful as his big sister, but I had to admit, I missed the tranquil solitude of the island during his birth. Sure, there were doctors and pain meds, but I couldn't help but think that Em had less of a traumatic entrance into the world – of course, Edward disagreed; his stress over the event was nothing compared to what it was when Em was born.

We settled into a comfortable routine as a family. Edward would go to school in the mornings and I'd spend that time with Em and Anthony. We'd go to the park and play dates, and I'd just watch them grow into little people. In the afternoons Edward would come home and we'd all have quality family time together, and when the kids went to bed, Edward would do homework while I caught up on my online courses. And every night, when everything was finished for the day, Edward and I would reconnect and make love before falling asleep in each other's arms.

It was a busy and hectic couple of years, but we knew it would be worth it in the end….and it definitely was.

Edward graduated with honors in only three years, and I discovered a love of writing. After taking a few creative writing courses, I wrote an autobiographical novel about our time on the island. It began the week before we left on our class trip, and ended with our wedding at home with our family. It was our story; the good, bad, and even the ugly. It was as honest as I was capable of being, and every word was sincere. _'Twilight on the Blue Lagoon'_ made the New York Time's best seller list and there was even talks of a movie deal, which was absolutely amazing. But the best part was the reaction our family had from the book. It was a way for them to really see firsthand what we went through, and to truly understand the love I have for my husband. And even more importantly, it was something my children would always have – the story of how they came into existence.

Since that novel was a hit, I was also able to write fictional novels, each based on romance and adventure, and each making the top seller's list. It was a perfect career for me because it allowed me to stay home with the kids and take off with Edward on his work travels whenever I wanted.

Eventually our little family outgrew our houseboat and we moved to a real house, but we never sold the boat. It was old but reliable, and even though it was a tight fit for our growing kids, it was a fun and crazy time when we did set sail on it. No matter how busy we got, we always found a few weeks every summer to return to our island home.

When Anthony was three years old and Em was six, we welcomed Carlie into our family. She too was conceived while I was on birth control and was born nine months after a summer trip to the island. And little Masen, our youngest, was born three years after that…_nine months after a summer trip to the island. - _We just laughed about it.

Each one of our kids were three years apart, and each conceived on our island which only made the Kichiri that much more enamored with our family - I had to agree with them, our family was amazing.

**Present Day** – _On the island_

After the success of the turtles the night before, Edward decided to spend that day teaching the kids about the importance of the ocean's ecosystem. I just rolled my eyes at him. Luckily, Anthony and Carlie were both fascinated with every aspect of the island and what Edward did for a living, but Em and obviously our youngest, had better things to do.

"Where are you off to?" I asked Em as she walked past me with a pad of paper in her hands.

"I'm going to write my friends a letter," she said with that 'duh' expression.

"Ok, watch for…"

"I know what to watch for, mom," she said irritated.

"Ok, sorry," I said defensively, and just to annoy her even more, I added - "I love you honey. I'll miss you until you get back."

"Whatever," she replied bitterly. _Jeesh, and I thought the teen attitude thing wouldn't start until she was thirteen_.

While she was off doing whatever it was that she was doing, and Edward was lecturing Carlie and Anthony, I took that time to bring Little Masen into the lagoon to work on his swimming. He was just two years old and was already pretty good for his age, but of course he still needed the practice. All of our kids learned to swim in that lagoon_, just as Edward did_, which was remarkable and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

About a half hour later, Edward brought the other kids to join us for a swim.

"How's he doing?" Edward asked as he waded in the shallows with us. The older kids just cannon balled right in the deep part; even Carlie at five years old was a great swimmer.

"He's doing great," I said with a smile. "Do you want to swim to daddy?" I asked Masen.

"Daddy, catch me," he said excitedly.

"Ok, I'm right here," Edward replied just as excitedly.

Masen pushed off my lap and swam with his face in the water all the way to Edward a couple yards away.

"Wow, good job," Edward said enthusiastically while bouncing him in his arms. "Hey, where's Em?"

"She's off writing somewhere," I said dismissively, hoping Edward wouldn't freak out too much about it.

"I hope she gets bit by a snake," Carlie interjected.

"Hey, don't say that about your sister," Edward chided her.

"Yeah, that's terrible," Anthony agreed. "I hope she just gets stung by a bee."

"Guys," I scolded. "That's enough."

"She's just so grumpy all the time," Carlie said defensively.

"Yeah, she's been mean since we got here," Anthony agreed.

"Em yells at me," Masen added.

Edward and I looked at each other and knew we needed to have a talk with her. We thought we'd give her some time to work through her issues, but our past lack of communication had taught us that talking it out was always best. So that night, after the other kids went to bed in their cottage add-on rooms, we took Em to the rocks so we could talk.

"So, what's going on? I asked her.

"Nothing," she said sourly.

"Obviously something," Edward said. "Do you not want to come here anymore?"

She sighed. "No, I like coming here, it's just…"

"What?" I asked because she had let her sentence trail off.

"Em, you can tell us anything," Edward assured her.

"Well, everyone at school makes fun of me and calls our family weird. They even say I'm not American because I was born on an island."

I looked at Edward and I could tell he was upset; it was his childhood all over again…except it seemed so different. Em was a beautiful girl who seemed to always have friends around, so to hear she was having trouble with kids at school was more than shocking.

"Who's saying things like that to you?" I asked, knowing her friends wouldn't be so mean.

"A lot of people…but mainly this boy. Everyone always follows his lead and does whatever he tells them to. He doesn't like me, so now everyone doesn't. When I go back to school this fall, people are going to ask me what I did over summer, and I'm just going to lie because I don't want him making fun of me even more."

I really didn't understand why any kid would make fun of another for going to an island every summer. We didn't do anything odd, we didn't even do the topless thing anymore_, though I did live in my bikini when there;_ I just didn't get it, unless….

"Honey, I bet he just likes you," I said, surprising both her and her father.

"How do you figure that?" Edward asked me confused.

"A lot of times when kids are mean, it means they actually like that other kid and are embarrassed or just don't know how else to act."

"Really?" she asked hopefully.

"I think so. Just ignore him for a while and wait and see what happens. If he likes you he'll start to be nicer and if he doesn't then he'll leave you alone."

"Ok," she said after a minute. "And I'm sorry for being grumpy. I really am happy to be here; this place still feels like home and I think it always will."

She gave us both a hug before running back to the cottage to go to bed for the night, but Edward and I hung back and decided to go for a little walk – far enough so the kids wouldn't hear us talking, but close enough that we would know if they needed anything.

"I don't think I agree with that whole _'if he's mean it's cause he likes her'_ thing," Edward said as we walked along the beach. "I've been bullied, and I highly doubt any of those kids liked me."

"Eleven year olds are different than teenagers," I told him. "But, being bullied by kids of the opposite sex doesn't change very much. They either bully because they like someone, or they do it to go along with the crowd. Usually the instigator is the one who has the secret crush."

"I had girls pick on me, and none of them liked me like that," Edward argued.

"Tanya definitely had a thing for you, even before we got back from the island, she was just too much of a coward to admit it."

He wrapped his arms around me. "Well I'm glad she was a coward."

"Why, you would have fallen for her?"

"I was young and easily manipulated," he said with a smirk.

"We both were," I agreed. "It's just a good thing fate stepped in and forced us to grow up."

"Growing up with you has truly been the best experience of my life," he said sincerely.

"I love you so much."

He smiled that crooked smile that still took my breath away. "I love you too."

For the rest of the week Em was back to her happy carefree self that we loved so much, and the six of us just savored the time in our own piece of heaven together. We may have knocked Em's bad mood this trip, but we weren't stupid enough to believe the kids would always want to visit the island with us so we weren't going to take that time for granted.

…..

The years passed quickly, and before we knew it, our kids were grown and beginning families and lives of their own so they couldn't always make our annual summer trips to the island. As much as we missed our time with them, Edward and I couldn't help but enjoy our solitude on the island once again. We were back to skinny dipping and making love under the stars, which was something that we missed when the kids were young. But every few years or so, our children would bring their families to the island with them, which was odd for us in the beginning. It almost felt wrong to have 'outsiders' there, but we quickly realized that our children's spouses and their children were all extensions of us, therefore absolutely belonged.

The Kichiri had told us the island contained the magic of_ fertility_, but when actually dissecting the word I realized that it also had other meanings - fruitfulness, abundance, richness, fecundity, luxuriance, productiveness - The island wasn't just sacred in reproduction, it was sacred in living life to the fullest.

I had no idea why the island had pulled Edward and me there so many years ago, but it saved our lives and gave us everything we had, and I was forever grateful. It was our home, the core of our lives, and it was where we would always return to….

THE END


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